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Well, in a half hour.


...Actually, I have no idea wtf this holiday is about other than Jesus's stepdad. I never celebrated it anywhere in this country except RI, because they pretend to be more Italian than anywhere else. All I know is that it involves wearing red and eating zeppole. I was raised a Sicilian Roman Catholic, and I never heard of any of this, even while living on Long Island.

So on the 17th, you drink your face off, and on the 19th, you eat your weight in Italian donuts. 

Actually, I think the Italians in Providence decided to do it to one-up the Irish.

Ofuck, I'm right:

St Joseph's Day is also celebrated in other American communities with high proportions of Italians such as New York City; Buffalo; Chicago [9]; Kansas City, MO; Gloucester, Mass.; and Providence, Rhode Island where observance (which takes place just after Saint Patrick's Day) often is expressed through "the wearing of the red" i.e. wearing red clothing or accessories similar to the wearing of green on Saint Patrick's Day - the observance of St Joseph's Day (and wearing of red) by Italian Americans communities which are also home to significant Irish American communities can take on the overtone of a challenge by the Italian Americans to the power and relevance of those Irish communities and Saint Patrick's Day [10].

4 smithwicks, 1 carbomb and 2 shots of Jameson in!

No. Really.

http://www.rentafriend.com/

Yes. You can even sign up to charge people to be your friend.

http://www.rentafriend.com/beafriend

I hear a couple violently fighting downstairs. I haven't heard any blows, but she is definitely yelling and screaming and throwing things. A lot.

I thought about calling the cops, and then I realized, "Yep, that's me and Herbert all over again."

Sorry, Richter. 

This post needs no crazy letter, the crazy is below.


*Gentleman contacts me looking for Jacobite shirts. I give him quotes.*

Him: Um...$60 for a shirt seems expensive unless it would be silk or something. You're telling me that's just cotton. And why would linen be $80? That makes no sense.

Me: The fabric I'm going to be using for a cotton shirt is $5-6 a yard. It's a quality lightweight cotton made my Kona. It's top of the line. And linen's current market value is about double that of cotton, I'm afraid. Even if I went with Fustian, which is a linen and cotton blend that was very popular in the 1700s, it would still be $6 a yard. You're paying for quality fabrics and my time on the machine, which I charge $20/hr on custom orders outside of my usual offerings because I need to draft a pattern.

Him: I dunno. Thanks for your time and all but I think I could find them cheaper somewhere else.

...

hours pass.

...

Him: Sorry to bug you, but polyester blend isn't period for the 18th century, is it?



...And people wonder why I DON'T want to do this anymore.

Just not in the mental state to stay on top of the board right now. I'll be in and out, but not everywhere.

I need to focus on finding a job, badly. Tomorrow half of my day will be blown to being on hold with unemployment, and then I need to get sewing so I can get my slots clear for the month so I can take more orders. I was slacking before, I can't afford to slack right now.

I'm sick of my life falling apart at the seams, and although me spending time at PD for entertainment, I don't think it's really going to help me in the long run.

You all know where to find me if you need me.

I've started downloading New Moon. The DVD isn't actually released until the 20th so I have no idea what kind of shittiness I could be getting.

The first movie did not kill me nor did it have me actually create an love or hate opinion of Twilight. Let's see if this one does!

As most of you know, my digestive tract is borked. Especially after living in a house with 2 crazy diabetics who just mixed shit in a pot for dinner and not eating more than one maybe two meals a day, I basically got IBS and my ability to digest red meat, the little that I had left, just sort of  flew out the window.

So I'm doing probiotic therapy the cheapest way I can right now, and that's with Activia yogurt. For those people who don't know, it's those commercials with Jamie Lee Curtis eating yogurt and talking about regularity, for those that live outside of the US, it's a yogurt with extra creepy crawlies added to it to aide your digestion.

I've been having a yogurt and a banana for breakfast now for a little over a week. So far the results are great. I'm no longer getting an upset stomach from drinking milk in coffee (I've been lactose intolerant since BEFORE the antibiotics killed my intestines), I no longer need to spend 15 minutes + in the bathroom and when I wake up in the morning I don't feel like my bowels are going to explode or have that feeling any other time during the day, and of course, thanks to the bananas (which ALSO used to upset my stomach but don't now) well, you all know what bananas do. But I'm only having one a day.

So yeah, this stuff works. GS said that he noticed my face was looking thinner again, but I don't believe boyfriends when it comes to weight, because they lie so that they won't lose their testicles.

I have no idea what struck me to do this...

My high school reunion cut out the dinner night and now it's just the baseball game on Friday and a fucking "family friendly" beach bbq day on Saturday with "Olympics" that I can compete it.

Remember half the girls are pregnant. 

Oh well, guess it's time to hit the gym and buy some obnoxious little bathing suit. Also, NO ONE WILL FUCKING BEAT ME AT VOLLEYBALL. NO ONE.

On February 23rd, I got a new apartment.

On February 28th, I blew $105 at IKEA.



...On March 1st, my restaurant closed it's doors.


Yep.

I just wanted to make a thread because you other spags did.

Since I'm shipping out the shirts this week, it has been brought to my attention that folks really want in on more. To make it easier on myself, I'm only going to do one design at a time, and I want the Our Lady ones to be a bit more limited than the Eris ones, so that's going to be the next batch. The screens are already made, so turn around time will be fast.

Now I just need to know what color ya'll want.

CHOOSE WISELY.

GO!

This is what I feel about you fuckers right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAg5KjnAhuU

***FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY!***

@ The Mews Tavern in Wakefield, RI

***THE BENTLEY BROTHERS***

Starring General Stuart as Jesse Bentley and Keith McCurdy as Bentley Bentley...

Performing some of your favorite acoustic and old-time string numbers from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s.

Time: 8pm til 12am

Facebook event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=359641135608&ref=ts

[I]

Deposit is down, I get the keys on TUESDAY.

I AM PROVIDENCE.

THE STATE OF RHODE ISLAND FORFEITED MY REFUND TO THE IRS BECAUSE I STILL OWED THEM FOR LAST YEAR.



...AND THE IRS TOOK OUT WHAT I OWED THEM LAST YEAR, REMARKABLY IGNORING MY RI RETURN.




I'M DOWN ALMOST $400.










THEY ARE SO GETTING FUCKING CALLED. RIGHT NOW. OR I WILL NEVER SEE THIS MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patrick Kennedy is calling it quits after 16 years.

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations is in shock.

Republicans think they can pull another Scott Brown.

Help.

Because he died for your fornication. Fucking sinners. 















....The General and I are going to Newport. 

So.

I was planning on going to Florida for Megacon, which is a ginormous comic book show in Orlando, this is March 12-14th.

The 501st is trooping a Shuttle launch on the 18th, and the day after there's also a troop in Dunedin practically around the corner from my parent's house.

The Shuttle launch may already be getting pushed back, as rollout isn't starting until the 22nd of this month (it literally takes them nearly a month to roll the Shuttle to the pad.)

I cannot afford 2 weeks in Florida. It's bad enough that our driving plans have been scratched because of car issues with the Leviathan (GS's Jeep). And if I travel with my Royal Guard, the only other way I can do it is to take the train, which right now is cheaper than flying, but it allows me to transport my more delicate bits easier without worrying about them getting thrown into the belly of a plane.



HELP ME PEEDEE DOT COM YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE

Because I know at least SOME of us watch it.


...NICE GOING CANADA. YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A FUCKING TORCH TO LIGHT PROPERLY.

Heading to Walgreens and the Liquor Store, need anything?

SNOW DAY WOO!

So yesterday at work it was really dead, so I took some cell phone pictures in hopes of catching some of our resident g-g-g-g-g-ghosts! Shit has been acting up again. TAPS has already been in once and they really want to come back and do an overnight show, but the owners won't let them.





WTF? I don't even remember taking this one.

So says the Tea Party fuckheads.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/05/tom-tancredo-obama-electe_n_450849.html

Former Congressman and 2008 Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo told an audience on Thursday at the Tea Party Convention in Nashville that "people who could not even spell the word 'vote', or say it in English, put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House."

That my period is horrendous this month. And if you all don't stop your shitting on each other, I will post pics.

That is all.

www.papajohns.com

Coupon code: 20210

Large Pizza with up to 7 toppings: $10
20oz Diet Coke: $1.59
Delivery: $2
Tax: $1.09
Tip: $3
Not having to leave your fucking computer chair or talk to a person on the phone: BRILLIANT 

-Suu
Hasn't ordered pizza in MONTHS.

I really don't like this month. There's something fundamentally wrong with it. I know you don't like it either.

First of all, the days are totally fucked up. Only 28 instead of 30 or 31...except for Leap Year, then it has 29, so every 4 years we're at the whim of February giving us another day. It's the only month of the year that can pass without a single full moon. Women may not even get their period this month if the cycle is right.

February is cold, it's gray, and it's unforgiving, no matter where you live. Februum is Latin for "purification", thanks to the holiday of Februa on the Ides. Why did the Romans need a purification day in the middle of this month? What does that tell you? It was also during the Hebrew month of Adar, which typically coincides with February, that Haman tried to exterminate the Jews. Purim is celebrated at the end of the month for this purpose. It's not just a triumph over the Persians, it's a triumph over this cursed month.

I don't like Valentine's Day, President's Day is only an excuse to not deliver mail, and Groundhog Day is a farce. This month is a joke, a ridiculously cruel joke on humanity.

Last year, February tortured the living shit out of PD.Com to the extent of actually ripping apart lives, no exception to present company.

As far As I'm concerned, today is January 33rd.

I need you to make me a seam ripper necklace. Something so I can't loose the fucker when I need it.

Because nobody is getting any new garb for Black Rose unless I have one, in my hand, right fucking now. I just bought a new fucking seam ripper and it DISAPPEARED. Seriously, I used it this morning and now it's gone. I mean poof. I mean disintegrated. I mean it is a ex motherfucking seam ripper and has gone to Seam Ripper Land where Suus aren't allowed to find them and use them with the rest of my lost seam rippers that run away from me after a day's worth of use. 

I go first!!


My owners are nice people...they can't run a business for shit. They aren't clueless, but the economy took a toll on the bistro last year, and since then we have been going downhill. We had to go into receivership to make sure the bills were paid, and were taken to court by our landlord. Yeaaahhh..

Anyways, last night the chef walked out because after almost a month, the new dishwasher that we were told has not come in. I was told it was the receiver's fault because he didn't sign off on it, but it wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't ordered either. So the chef was sick and tired of having to tell our Guatamalan dishwasher that he had to keep scrubbing by hand. Soooo...The owner stepped up to cook. She even walked right in with a chef's coat.

(Please note this women worked for Julia Child, and for some reason learned NOTHING. Her skills with a knife scare the FUCK out of me, and I'm pretty bad with a knife.)

So when I walk in, my manager pulls me into the corner and goes, "Just a heads up...Ray walked out and Talli (bartender) is in the hospital. Julie is in the kitchen...DON'T YOU WALK OUT ON ME TOO."

We devise a cunning plan that will put her on the bar and me on the floor and finish up the necessary sidework which unfortunately means I have to bring 4 buckets of ice up the stairs because she won't do it. Anyways...My first table was a mother and her teenage son. It was an easy order...a caesar salad and a couple of med-rare burgers. Piece of cake.



The woman...can't even make a proper Caesar salad. She didn't dry the lettuce, she didn't toast the croutons, and she forgot to add Parmesan cheese. Naturally the customer complained, although she was nice about it. Then the burgers came out, what a fucking nightmare. Julie put them on the grill too early after I told her not to (the other cook was in now and was too busy trying to get the kitchen actually set up...did I mention the kitchen wasn't set up?!). So I had to bring one of the burgers back and have the other cook remake it.

By this time, The owner's family, and by family I mean the husband, 2 kids, sister, and 2 nephews walk in and want dinner. They seat themselves and I make the kids set the damn table for me because I'm too busy with another table now and dealing with my recook. Julie walks out the recook for me and then proceeds to join her family for dinner instead of going back into the kitchen and helping Julio the cook, who is a surf bum from Hawaii but works really hard. He hasn't been there long enough to know how to make difficult stuff yet, so the manager jumps back on the line to help him, leaving me the entire dining room and the entire bar. Fortunately, it was pretty slow and all the tables (except the owners) were low maintenance.

My first table was offered free dessert because of the mess ups, and still left me a nice tip, but when the boss sat down with her family with wine, they sort of looked at me like, "You've gotta be kidding me, right?"

The owners' kids are 11 and 14. They aren't too young to know better or autistic like the oldest nephew who made quite the mess. But the 11 year old, the little spoiled fucking prince, kept going up to the fruit tray and getting more cherries for his cousin, who was already bouncing off the walls. We had to YELL at him to stop it, and then he made a huge mess of calamari and fries on the floor (this is, again, the 11 year old peewee do-no-wrong football star, not the 5 year old hyper autistic boy). The 11 year old also decided to yell at me from across the restaurant and snap his fingers at me...but his father thinks it's funny. I told him that if he did it again, he would have to vacuum my whole floor. I also made him ask me for another drink using the grammatically correct "May I have another Coke, please?"

The 14 year old is better, she can be whiny, but for the most part she's helpful and I asked her to clear the table when they were through, so her and her aunt (boss's waitress sister, who knew she had to get the owners out of there ASAP before the manager and I killed them) bussed and reset the entire table. So after they successfully left me with a floor of moosh, I finished up with my last 2 tables and bar customers. As soon as everyone left, we locked the doors an hour early, blasted the Pogues, mixed margaritas and starting scrubbing the fuck out of the kitchen and cleaning the carpet. They had left their own restaurant in a disaster. Oh and of course, didn't pay their bill, which had to be voided off and my tip be paid out, which we're not supposed to do because of the receiver.

I just don't even want to go back there today. If it wasn't for the fact that my W-2 will be in, I'd probably call out. (And the manager would probably kill me.)

We're in the process at work of implementing my cunning plan to add moar gourmet sammiches, starting with epic grilled cheeses. I'll elaborate more when I get home but I had to share the one I just had:

Pastrami, swiss, grilled onions, marinated mushrooms and Dijon mustard on sliced Italian...I had to save half for later, it's just too awesome.

Completely online.

http://www.themorgan.org/collections/works/cleves/default.asp

I mean, everything is just too convenient these days, right? We're a society that is built on convenience, and as part of our daily norm, it's often difficult to deal with the podge of inconvenience.

I had a large table today of 13 people, and they all wanted separate checks. This is inconvenient to me, and usually a sign that they want out of the 20% gratuity I would be enforcing on them. I told them no, and the stunned looks across the table made me feel satisfied.

Convenience is a one-sided beast. On one side, I had my convenience of only having to deal with cashing out one check, but on the other end, I forced 13 adults to use basic math skill they haven't touched since high school to determine their shares of the bill, which took them an astonishing amount of time for folks that acted so educated and snobbish toward me. They seemed as if they got me, by shoving in $25 worth of ones, but again, another convenience, since it's useful to me in my cash out. It was win-win. I made them do math, and their inability to do so correctly gave me an additional $10 on top of the mandatory gratuity.

But not without cost.

Our dining room and kitchen close at 11:00pm EST. This is oft-times obvious by the actions that I take when I begin to break down my service area, but they continued to sit, stagnate, and enjoy whatever their preppy 5k running, Barrington lives had to talk about. I let their water run dry. They paid me at 10:20pm, and they sat until 11:42pm. I should have left nearly 45 minutes prior. Therefore, I was now inconvenienced. That $10 wasn't rent for an additional hour and a half of table time, and now it felt like an insult. But I waited, patiently, and sat at the bar to finish my Diet Royal Crown Cola. I grumbled, but I didn't impede. For when they did finally get up and lurk in the foyer of our tiny restaurant, I made sure my coworker and I constantly got in their way while cleaning up their filthy mess, after which they quickly became fed up and left.

We take for granted how convenience we are in our daily lives, don't we? It's only when our convenience is taken away that we remember our precious little lives aren't perfect. Suddenly our emotions flip flop, like a baby dropping its pacifier and bursting into tears at the lost of comfort. I think I'm going to continue to take it away from those as often as possible. Some people just don't deserve it.

NORLY. Since he's the only one who could actually fight.



http://www.lonestarbeatdown.com/

I will KILL A MOTHERFUCKER!

Skirts, shirts, bags, etc...whatever.

I need pictures. The wackier the better.

These are going on a Facebook fan page I'm making for my stuff. LOOK EXCITED.

Round one...Gulden Draak.


Round two...Hennepin.


Round three...Anchor Steam.


GENERAL STUART FINDS YOU AMUSING


Herbert does not.


Richter does NOT fuck around...Yes, that is chainmail under his shirt.


I has a hat.


But it is General Stuart's hat.


Round four. Leffe.


Round five. Strongbow.


TUPAC!


Herbert got to a point where opening his eyes all the way was just not possible. I took a pic of him as he took one of me.


RICHTER GLOWS WITH THE LIGHT OF 1000 BEERS


Round six. Lindeman's Framboise.


Look at this spag!


This needs no explanation.


Or this...


Round seven?! Wittekerke.


This is what it looks like when Spags try to do math.


Richter and Herbert leave...but we're not done yet...Oh no. General Stuart takes one for the team and switches to Gansett...Dimo and his pal in the background.


ORLY?!


YARLY.


o.o


Aww...


The situation grows dire...


Very dire...


ROUND EIGHT. PABST FUCKING BLUE RIBBON.


Yeah...Focus...FOCUSSSSS....


I lose.



Yes. I was crawling this morning.

A friend of mine in the 501st is starting up his own t-shirt press business and has offered to do my shirts in bulk runs.

We're looking at the Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion design in matte gold on black and the Eris is my Homegirl in black on orange. These would be made available to spags from PD only.

Cost: $9 per shirt. Kids sizes too. XXL and up add $2 more.

Packaging and Shipping:

US/Canada
1   $4.00
2  $6.00
3  $8.00
4  $10.00
5  $12.00


International
1  $9
2  $12.50
3  $16
4  $20

PM me for how to pay. No checks. If you're International, I hope you have Paypal. I prefer US Postal Money Orders, because my bank charges me a fee for other bank MOs.

The order needs to be pre-paid before the shirts are made. FYI.

12 posts ago. 

Yeah, it's time. Your Sovereign Princess declares it. Plus we have new spags that need to kill a pineapple.

I say we just do a downtown Providence bar crawl. I haven't been to Murphy's in a while. And then we can invade my job, drink them out of Narragansett and try not to fall into the icy, polluted rivers.

We can't let England out do us, of course.

Oh, and if we start early, of COURSE we can all take the train into Boston and see what happens. 

Here's some testimonials!

i read your other stories, let the truth be told i'm a big ** fetish fan
myslef. and i understand the burden of having extreme fetishes, i am sorry for
you that you have to write these things for people to see, i'm trying not to
sound like i hate you, but i ask only that you remove those stories. some of
our deepest darkest harry potter fetish fantasy's, are better kept to
ourselves. that bloody gory necrophiliac stuff can really scare people. you
can email me at  PLEASE delete those storys! I cannot stress to you enough the
potential emotional and mental harm you could cause someone if the the wrong
person read your stuff. you are sick and you need help. please spare any more
people from your lemons, i have suffered myself from reading them, especially
the ones about ginny, and the one about hermione. i'm almost crying right now
because i just read share and share alike. just... take them off...

I was actually a bit turned on..
But then the bit about the feast popped up.
A little too 2girls1cup for me.

Wow. I am now thoroughly disgusted. This sort of stuff does not deserve to be
written, let alone posted on a site like this. Please, get rid of it.

That was sick, twisted, and just plan wrong.
I LOVED it. (;

http://tiny.cc/wvLeR

No shit, there I was...with money on the card...

No rly! There is none. I'm posting from my phone. GS lives 10mi away and has none. Some massive area outage!

ASK ME ANYTHING!!!

It's really fucking cold. And it doesn't appear my roommates left the heat on overnight again. This is why I am not yet in bed. My bedroom is a fucking ice box. One should not have to sleep with a flannel sheet, a fleece blanket, a comforter, and a great kilt for covers wearing socks, flannel pants, and hoodie to bed, right?

I just had one for lunch today for the first time in years, so I thought I would offer it to the board for consumption purposes.

Contrary to popular believe, the Cuban Sammich is not from Cuba, it originated in Tampa during the cigar rolling days, and has since become a local food staple in the Bay area and unfortunately South Florida. Where it is exceptionally inferior, of course.

Each region may make the Cuban a little differently, but they all seem to have the basic ingredients:

Cuban Bread
Ham
Roasted Pork
Swiss Cheese
Yellow Mustard
Dill Pickles


In the Tampa Bay area, it's common to put genoa salami onto the mix as well. In Miami, they will add bologna. This is wrong and only Miami would fuck it up by throwing such an inferior meat onto an amazing sammich. Those Dade County Heathens also have added olives and heavily peppercorned salami before. Again, making us Tampanians wish death on them even more so than usual.

You start with a footlong piece of Cuban bread (if you can get it. You may have to suffer through the flakiest softest baguette you can find), and slice it in half long ways to accommodate the fillers. Don't use the heel of the bread, and make sure your cuts are diagonal.

You spread yellow mustard on the inside of the bread, then layer in the dill pickles, meat and cheese. Then, wrap the sandwich in foil before putting it on the press. The press for a Cuban sandwich is called a plancha, and is sorta like a panini only with no grill marks. So it's just a plain press. Sometimes you can find them for quesadillas.

You press the sandwich evenly on both sides until it's heated throughout. When you unwrap the sandwich, the bread should be golden and flaky and the cheese should be melted. Don't push down on the press, let the weight of the top do it until it presses the bread about half as high as it was. This can take a good solid 10 minutes at times.

Cut the sandwich in half down the middle with a diagonal cut, and enjoy! Remember to follow up with your favorite Hav-A-Tampa or Tampa Girl smokes.

For those that are adventurous, here's a recipe for making Cuban bread:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/bobby-flay/cuban-style-bread-recipe/index.html

I advise that my Principality do something about the current temperature back North, or there shall be severe (albeit frozen) hell to pay.

That is all.

-Suu
Doesn't think that weather-dragging effect has the same result from South to North in December.

But I thought I'd bring a touch of Rhode Island weather with me.

Are the 50s okay? I didn't want to have to wear my heavy coat.

Surrounded by Quebecois.


ASK ME ANYTHING!

Well, I know my year got off to a bang. I came down from the high of winning master level costuming awards to being asked for a divorce from Herbert, who no longer has the balls to show up on this forum. Everything sort of went out of control from there. I introduced General Stuart to to the board and the power of WOMP, and he's been nigh unstoppable since...well since he went to work in Vermont.

It also appears that our alphabetical members of the board, RWHN and LMNO, have decided to breed.

Someone take it from here.

http://diningoutloud.blogspot.com/


Alright guys, help me fill out a couple of pages and tell your friends. The first quote on the page is absolutely true.