Messages

General Stuart had the balls to make fun of me on Facebook. He has now blocked me.


He has by the end of the weekend to give me all of my belongings, or I will unleash a fury onto him unlike which he has never seen, so I hope he's reading this.

what are you talking about?

I am deleting my facebook page, got a surge of emails wondering where I went because I just don't feel like being on an online social network anymore. So, it's back up for another 24 hours.

If you need to reach me, you have my email address and my phone number.

Nobody made fun of you.

Let's have a flame-war about it.

NEVER FORGET WHO IS THE BOSS OF YOU!

I AM THE BOSS OF YOU!

[AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE PIZZA IS NOT TO BE SERVED COLD AND CHEESELESS. YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!]

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE IN NEW ENGLAND NOT CALL ANYTHING BY WTF IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE?!

I SHOULD NOT GET FUNNY LOOKS WHEN I SAY "DRESSER" GODDAMNIT. NO, IT'S NOT A BUREAU, A BUREAU IS A DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT. A GODDAMN DRESSER IS WHAT YOU PUT FUCKING CLOTHES IN. IDIOTS.

ALSO. THIS IS AMERICA GODDAMNIT, THAT WORD YOU HAVE FOR YOUR DAD'S SISTER IS PRONOUNCED ANT LIKE THE BUG, NOT LIKE YOU'RE PRETENDING TO BE FROM FUCKING ENGLAND.

THIS IS NOT ENGLAND. THIS IS NEW ENGLAND.

YOU PUT YOUR GROCERIES AND DISHES IN A CABINET, IT'S NOT A FUCKING MILKSHAKE.
A WATER FOUNTAIN. FOR FUCK'S SAKE CALL IT A GODDAMN WATER FOUNTAIN!
A GRINDER? WHAT ARE YOU GRINDING? NOTHING! IT'S A SUBMARINE SANDWICH! DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, NEW YORK, KEEP YOUR HEROES TO YOURSELF. IT'S A FUCKING SUB!

MILK GOES IN COFFEE, COFFEE SYRUP DOES NOT GO IN MILK. IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.





AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE PIZZA IS NOT TO BE SERVED COLD AND CHEESELESS. YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!


That is all.

-Suu
Ya'll are mad fuckin crazy, yo.

Alright, fine then.

Here is the new dialectic, more forthcoming as you all send me your colloquialisms to be translated, quantified, typified, number-crunched, compacted, unpacked, and otherwise reworked to be more efficient. These will all be changed over and take effect as of the next fiscal year. Please prepare accordingly as those found still using previous nomenclature will be summarily totemized.

1. CABINET= N speculatively upright utilitarian holding cell, or SUUHC, after translation pronounced SUCK. use: "put the dishes in the suck."
2. MILKSHAKE= N. lactose based sugar beverage, or LB SB, after translation pronounced POUNDESSBEA. Use: "Jerry, there's too many flies in the poundessbea machine, call the manager."
3. WATER FOUNTAIN=  N. water dispensing spigot cover, or WDSC, after translation pronounced WETSK. Use: "The wetsk is broken, how are the beer taps looking? don't cut your gums up too bad on them."
4. GRINDER: N. auto meat rendering slicing and dicing interior contraption, or AMRSDIC, after translation pronounced AMOROUSDICK. Use: "Bring your amorousdick in here, we need to cut up a head cheese."


THAT IS ALL!

REMEMBER: ALL THOSE FOUND USING PREVIOUS TERMS ARE SUBJECTED TO SUMMARY TOTEMIZATION!

See you tonight sweety!

-GS
Definitely peed in Suu's radiator and left his hell spawn in there.
Incubation temperature reached and is now learning Latin.

Face it, if you've ever taken a Vicodin to relieve pain, or oxycodone has been prescribed for you after an operation, or taken codeine for strep throat....

you've used opium.

But.....

giving it to a child to shut them up?

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................not so much a good idea......

but we'll give the kids lots of other designer crap to shut them up so that we can get through our day.

Let's not forget that a lot of higher-end pharmaceuticals marketed today are....what? OH YEAH! OPIATES!

ummmm....

I just looked up Taveras' bio in PROJO....


he's Dominican.

Not Puerto Rican.

Heard the first half last night. Suu, if I were to send you a couple of 10-20 minute mixes, and you liked them, then you could be even moar eclectic and cosmopolitan than you already am, yah?

Indeed.

Also: Richter's little shorts are in there. The FragMonkey one is worth every penny.

He loves wearing those little shorts of his....

AMIRITE!!!!????

Just wait til I hit the bar with him the week after new years....he's gonna end up puking in my lap....and that's when i swipe the crown and run away.

Lessee...

I remember crying to Baron Eloi about fencing shit, and hitting the point of no-coherence. And somehow I wake up today to a box of fudge and pretzels on my desk and half a mushroom pie in my fridge.

....and that's how international incidents begin.

You are the George Bush Senior of the SCA

But, apparently, my support of fourth amendment rights, and my dissaproval of over-blown fear tactics, according to the DHS, makes me a domestic threat 

Fine. You want to play ball? Let's fucking play.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/43983504/Counter-Terrorism

http://www.scribd.com/doc/43983619/Face-of-Terrorism

Yes, I made these hastily, and yes, there's nothing subtle about them. Any suggestions, however, will, as always, be appreciated. And, if you have your own posters or ideas, post them here.

Will you go eat some fucking pumpkin pie and relax?!

Anally Verbose

[It's been requested that I make a quilt.]

So last year was the handbag year. This year is actual wearables.

I was going to make my sister a dress, but after realizing it would be all too obvious when my mom asked her for measurements, I decided on an apron for her to use at work (high-end men's stylist/barber).

I scoured the internets this morning, and after about 3 solid hours of "meh" designs, I stumbled upon this gem:

http://kerrimade.blogspot.com/2008/04/crafty-tool-belt-tutorial.html



Hooks for scissors and EVERYTHING! I'm going to add more hooky-doos for other implements, but I figured that was going to be a great start.

For my mom, she get's cold easily despite living in Florida, and after last year, she doesn't want to deal with walking the dog in 20-30F temps early in the winter mornings. She doesn't need to invest in a heavy coat, but she needs more than what she has. So I'm designing a special wrap/shawl out of polar fleece with dog-walking in mind. Screw gloves, she'll have pockets for her hands, one that will have a finished hole to hold the leash through. There will also be a pocket for the leash and for CLEAN bags for the poop. (She's on her own for the dirty ones.) And because it's 100% synthetic, she'll be able to just throw it in the machine when it gets dirty and not have to worry about shrinking or fading.

Depending on time, I'm thinking of this for General Stuart's sister:http://www.burdastyle.com/patterns/road-cape

She had a really cute new Vera Bradley bag, and I think I'll make it to match.


For his parents...It's been requested that I make a quilt.  *gulp*


So uh...anyone else going handmade again this year?

hey now, that was your idea!

Also, how are your skills at the Sousaphone?

WE HAVE OUR OWN THREAD NOW!

RICHTER: Start swindling wealthy dowagers to fund this production!
SUU: Get me my blue blankie!
DOK HOWL: FIND US A PLACE IN TUSCON TO PUT THIS ON! IT'S BOUND TO FLOP! WE'LL BE RICH AS ASTRONAUTS!