The only reason I'm posting this here is because I don't where else to post it, but I want to write.
The first time I took Acid. You know, the drug the expands your mind or crumples it.
I was 15 or 16 years old.
I got it from this this guy that had just sold his bong and weed (he was a dealer) after the dose he took. Maybe thought all drugs were bad or something, but din't matter, he went back to dealing 6 months later. Did it for a while after that too.
BACKGROUND: I was a teen at the time and "indestructible" when it cam to drugs. I took 'em all without hesitation.
Anyways, he gave me 2 tabs. I couldn't tell what the print was, looked like something Sci-fi, but it may have been a Jesus Christ print from what I saw. Didn't matter. I took both tabs, held them under my tongue, at about 10pm. Didn't feel anything for about 30 mins, as I watched some Chris Rock special, and then things changed.
When CR walked around stage and waved his hands, there was a serious tracer. I think this tracer added to the hilarity of his jokes, which I thought were mindblowingly funny. I can't tell you or write about how much I laughed. But it was an obscene, I remember because my sides hurt the next day.
After CR I think I watched a movie, as of now I don't remember what it was. After that, I don't know what I did. But I do know that I did not sleep, you never sleep on Acid.
I think I was lying in my bed and then at 6:00am or so, my dad "woke" me up. I remember being totally awake at the time, and wondering why my Dad woke me. Well, it was because I had a MASS TO SERVE. I totally forgot about it, probably didn't even know the fuggin' schedule at the time.
I was still an Altar boy back then, came from a Catholic family, served from 5th grade until freshman year highschool.
At the time, I remember just being like, "Well shit, I gotta serve Mass." I was unfazed by the fact that I was still tripping on Acid. I think I may have even thought it would be a fun thing to do, serve Mass on Acid.
I took a shower, then went to Church. I remember when I was fitting my alb I looked at the other servers face. He was some plimply kid a year younger than me and the pimples and red spots on his face we GRoowing and shrinkInG. I thought this was hilarious and laughed. He asked me why I was laughing, and I distinctly remember saying "Don't worry about it." What's bizarre through this experiece is that my twisted sense of Confidence remained intact, I was an altar boy tripping at Mass, and I was going to love it.
Mass began and I proceeded down the isle with a candle (we only had two servers, and at my Parish when this happened we both carried candles and left the Crucifix at the altar, maybe for symmetry's sake). I got to to the altar, bowed, placed my candle, and sat at the opposite side of my fellow server (the crucifix side, which normally would have been occupied by the third server.) While the priest did his morning greetings and whatever, I looked at the arrangement of white flowers that were scattered around the alter, Easter Season. They moved and shook and winked and I thought it what was great fun.
After a while of staring at the flowers I heard "Let Us Pray." I didn't understand the mass at the time but as an Altar boy I knew this was my que to grab the book, bring it to the priest, and then hold it for him while he recited what ever prayer/ reading was assigned for the the mass. As I held the book open, the Priest his arms outstretched as he recited whatever... I remember seeing the words float from the book up onto the priest's alb and imprint themselves. I laughed, and the priest gave me a scornful look, at which I resumed my solemn expression.
After that I went back, and remember looking at the Crucifix, seeing Jesus move and shake and wink every now and then. I had to do the same thing just before the end of the Mass when the Priest said, once again, "Let Us Pray." Afterwhich I brought the book back, saw the priest give the closing ceremonies, then crossed behind the Altar to pick up my candle, beside the growing pimple kid, and then proceeded down the isle to the Mass's end.
When I got home I went in the shower and smoked some weed and each hit I took caused some type of weird sonic vibration in which I heard my Mom calling me, only to listen to it fade out, then realize it was the weed, then do it all over again.
I think I fell asleep shortly after, finally.
What vexes me most about this experience is the sense of "bulletproof" confidence I had throughout the whole thing. Everything was such great FUN, depsite the fact that I was addled on Acid while serving a Mass. There's no way in hell I could find a similar state of mind today. I'm worried and stressed about everything. I think if I took acid today I would literally loose my mind. Even smoking weed occasionally brings on a mild panic attack.
But back then, I was bulletproof. It's not the acid or the story that interests me, but just the state of mind. Like nothing could hurt me, or my mind/ psyche.
Now adays I'm worried and scared much of the time. Not about unnatural things, but mainly debt and self-worth, especially as it pertains to those I care for. This sucks.
The reason I recall this experience is because I truthfully remember this sensation/thought/idea...whatever it was, that I was untouchable, that whatever happened I was going to be fine. But Now? Not so much.
The first time I took Acid. You know, the drug the expands your mind or crumples it.
I was 15 or 16 years old.
I got it from this this guy that had just sold his bong and weed (he was a dealer) after the dose he took. Maybe thought all drugs were bad or something, but din't matter, he went back to dealing 6 months later. Did it for a while after that too.
BACKGROUND: I was a teen at the time and "indestructible" when it cam to drugs. I took 'em all without hesitation.
Anyways, he gave me 2 tabs. I couldn't tell what the print was, looked like something Sci-fi, but it may have been a Jesus Christ print from what I saw. Didn't matter. I took both tabs, held them under my tongue, at about 10pm. Didn't feel anything for about 30 mins, as I watched some Chris Rock special, and then things changed.
When CR walked around stage and waved his hands, there was a serious tracer. I think this tracer added to the hilarity of his jokes, which I thought were mindblowingly funny. I can't tell you or write about how much I laughed. But it was an obscene, I remember because my sides hurt the next day.
After CR I think I watched a movie, as of now I don't remember what it was. After that, I don't know what I did. But I do know that I did not sleep, you never sleep on Acid.
I think I was lying in my bed and then at 6:00am or so, my dad "woke" me up. I remember being totally awake at the time, and wondering why my Dad woke me. Well, it was because I had a MASS TO SERVE. I totally forgot about it, probably didn't even know the fuggin' schedule at the time.
I was still an Altar boy back then, came from a Catholic family, served from 5th grade until freshman year highschool.
At the time, I remember just being like, "Well shit, I gotta serve Mass." I was unfazed by the fact that I was still tripping on Acid. I think I may have even thought it would be a fun thing to do, serve Mass on Acid.
I took a shower, then went to Church. I remember when I was fitting my alb I looked at the other servers face. He was some plimply kid a year younger than me and the pimples and red spots on his face we GRoowing and shrinkInG. I thought this was hilarious and laughed. He asked me why I was laughing, and I distinctly remember saying "Don't worry about it." What's bizarre through this experiece is that my twisted sense of Confidence remained intact, I was an altar boy tripping at Mass, and I was going to love it.
Mass began and I proceeded down the isle with a candle (we only had two servers, and at my Parish when this happened we both carried candles and left the Crucifix at the altar, maybe for symmetry's sake). I got to to the altar, bowed, placed my candle, and sat at the opposite side of my fellow server (the crucifix side, which normally would have been occupied by the third server.) While the priest did his morning greetings and whatever, I looked at the arrangement of white flowers that were scattered around the alter, Easter Season. They moved and shook and winked and I thought it what was great fun.
After a while of staring at the flowers I heard "Let Us Pray." I didn't understand the mass at the time but as an Altar boy I knew this was my que to grab the book, bring it to the priest, and then hold it for him while he recited what ever prayer/ reading was assigned for the the mass. As I held the book open, the Priest his arms outstretched as he recited whatever... I remember seeing the words float from the book up onto the priest's alb and imprint themselves. I laughed, and the priest gave me a scornful look, at which I resumed my solemn expression.
After that I went back, and remember looking at the Crucifix, seeing Jesus move and shake and wink every now and then. I had to do the same thing just before the end of the Mass when the Priest said, once again, "Let Us Pray." Afterwhich I brought the book back, saw the priest give the closing ceremonies, then crossed behind the Altar to pick up my candle, beside the growing pimple kid, and then proceeded down the isle to the Mass's end.
When I got home I went in the shower and smoked some weed and each hit I took caused some type of weird sonic vibration in which I heard my Mom calling me, only to listen to it fade out, then realize it was the weed, then do it all over again.
I think I fell asleep shortly after, finally.
What vexes me most about this experience is the sense of "bulletproof" confidence I had throughout the whole thing. Everything was such great FUN, depsite the fact that I was addled on Acid while serving a Mass. There's no way in hell I could find a similar state of mind today. I'm worried and stressed about everything. I think if I took acid today I would literally loose my mind. Even smoking weed occasionally brings on a mild panic attack.
But back then, I was bulletproof. It's not the acid or the story that interests me, but just the state of mind. Like nothing could hurt me, or my mind/ psyche.
Now adays I'm worried and scared much of the time. Not about unnatural things, but mainly debt and self-worth, especially as it pertains to those I care for. This sucks.
The reason I recall this experience is because I truthfully remember this sensation/thought/idea...whatever it was, that I was untouchable, that whatever happened I was going to be fine. But Now? Not so much.