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It was a Tuesday.  Cloudy and hazy.  I was sitting at my table, eating my Cheerios and reading the morning paper.  Oh look, City Councilor Ass Hatt started ranting about Charter Schools and God again.  How do these idiots get electe----

I heard a sound.  A light whisper of a sound....

I looked up from my bowl, and there in front of me stood, the mighty Zamfir.

That's right, Zamfir was in my kitchen.  He started to play me a tune.  Light whisps on the heavy air.  It was as though he was communicating to me through this song.  Melodies draped with truth.  Haunting in their timbre.  Deep in their meaning.  Drawing me in.  Seemingly giving me instruction for the day.  Showing me the way to.....BLAAAAM!

Ouch!

I raise my head again, dripping in milk, plastered with Cheerios. 

And Zamfir was not there.

I guess it was all just a pipe dream. 

Because of that incident, of which I am unable to discuss due to the gag order, I hereby give up my title as Reverend. 

I do apologize for any inconveniences this may be causing and here's hoping that all of the hair restorative procedures are successful.

Best regards,
What's-His-Name? 

Ask my anything!

Or else there will be repercussions!

No one ever said you need to ignore the Horror.  Lord knows I've had enough in my years to know this truth. 

But staring to long into the vortex of Horror eventually draws you in to the point that you are forever entrenched.  And then you forget to have fun.  You forget the point of life which is to make yourself some joy in this cosmic blink of time.  And if you fancy yourself to be someone to take up the cause of combatting the horror, to turn it back, to PUSH it back, you need that experience of joy to know what it is you are actually fighting for. 

If we don't know laughter, if we don't know the Joys of The Weird, if we don't cherish The Silliness, there is no reason to do anything about The Horror.  There is no motivation.  We'll just scream until we laugh until we projectile vomit blood.....and then nothing happens. 

Indeed, we CANNOT ignore the Horror.  But while we observe, while we acknowledge, while we plan how to fight it back, we must also gird outselves with FUN and LAUGHTER.  We must arm ourselves with SCATTELOGICAL HUMOUR!  We much instill deep within ourselves the importance of Happy Idiotic Anarchy! 

And then brothers and sisters, let us take up our rubber chickens and seltzer, and lets fuck shit up!

http://entertainment.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10372867-george-lucas-greedo-always-shot-first

In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the "Star Wars" director, who's "Phantom Menace" hits theaters in 3-D this weekend, not only defended his controversial additions to the special edition of the original film, but attempted to change movie history.
In the infamous cantina shootout between Han Solo and bounty hunter Greedo, the original shot shows Han Solo blasting Greedo, the edited version shows Greedo aiming and missing from point-blank range, then being shot by Han.
Despite the fact that millions of people saw the scene in theaters and no one ever had any doubt about what happened, Lucas is now saying that Greedo always shot first, and his edits were just making that more obvious.
"It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom," Lucas told THR. "I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down."

Because he did!

Lucas goes on to blame the rest of the world for wanting Han to be a "cold-blooded killer," thus misinterpreting the film for decades.

Someone needs to help George Lucas break out of his cell. 

I really don't know what this guy's deal is.  His original movies have made him tons of bank, won millions of fervent and adoring fans who have a great attachment (in some cases perhaps a bit unhealthy) to this story and universe. 

Yet, it seems like since he started making the prequels, he is hellbent on reforming that universe that was created in the original films.  Why does he care so much about Han NOT being seen as a ruthless kind of guy who was really good at surviving and knowing when to shoot first.  I can't believe it's Lucas' conscience that is bothering him because he had no problem have Anakin slaughter a bunch of little kids.  Does he think that was different because it was implied and not actually shown? 



I just don't get the guy.  I think he's sick or something. 
   

"I decided to not join that members-only club."

"Why?"

"Because it's full of dicks!"

The problem with our society isn't that we don't want to organize.  Fuck, humans are really good at organizing.  We organize parties for the Super Bowl.  We organize our TeeVee schedule.  One thing we are REALLY good at is organizing organizing. 

You know what I'm talking about.  When you spend half of a meeting talking about the next meeting you are going to have.  You spend the other half talking about who else to invite to these scintilating meetings where you are talking about what you are going to talk about. 

What humans fucking suck as is doing.  If we could spend half a minute here or there to actually plan on DOING something, instead of making plans to make plans, maybe we'd see progress pick up a pace where it can actually give that fucking slug on the ground a race. 

But I don't know, more often than not I don't see it.  I see way too much processing, way too much bleeding-hearted strategizing for making a 5 year plan to assess the needs of the community infrastructure.

Fuck that noize, hand me a goddamned hammer and a shovel and let's actually do the fuck something!

NOW PASS ME THE GODDAMNED WATER PITCHER!!!

Seems like there should be a thread about this.  So I started one. 

Was fairly entertaining game.  That last quarter though, if you are a New England fan, was like one of those cliche scenes in an old-timey cartoon.

You know, the one where a character is standing there watching something come at them in slow motion, and they are there waving their arms around saying "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

On the plus side, the game concluded very conveniently right at my bedtime. 

The Everyday can feel kind of tedious sometimes.  Average, even. 

But we can fix that my friends, by making the everyday METAL!

How do we do that?

Throw up some metal horns where people would least expect them. 

You just landed a big account?

THAT'S SO FUCKING METAL!!!!
         /


You're wife just made a bitchin casserole?

CHEEZY POTATOE BAKE FUCK YEAH!!!
                        /



The mail guy gets you your mail.

METAL DELIVERY DUDE!!!
                            /


You're at the mall just hanging around

I MAKE THIS ROCK!!!!
                        /



Enjoying a banana?

POTASSIUM IS FUCKING METAL.  NO REALLY, IT ACTUALLY IS A METAL, JUST LOOK AT THE PERIODIC CHART FUCKER, IT IS A GODDAMNED METAL METAL!!
                          /




Take life by the horns. 

Make the Mundane METAL!!!

....and Mr. Don Cornelius has left the station.

http://entertainment.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/01/10288340-soul-train-creator-don-cornelius-commits-suicide

Don Cornelius, creator of the long-running TV dance show "Soul Train," is dead at 75 of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, Los Angeles police tell the Associated Press.
Cornelius' death was discovered early Wednesday morning at his Sherman Oaks, Calif. home.
Us Weekly reports that when Cornelius was in court in 2009 for divorce proceedings, he complained of "significant health issues."
...

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/27/10251318-school-suspends-cancer-survivor-boy-for-growing-hair-for-locks-of-love

They suspended this kid because he had long hair.  Apparently the rules on the books don't allow male students to have long hair.  And this kid is growing his hair to donate to other kids who've gone through cancer. 

But the thing that really floors me, is they have this ass-hat from the school on record saying they want to find a way for the kid to continue his education and not fall behind.

Yeah, it's called get your fucking school board together, vote on a change of policy, and let the kid back in.  What the fuck is there to deliberate?  Jebus almighty!

I've lived in TRONE all of my life.  Well, except for that one year I lived in New Jersey, but we shall never speak about that again!

Specifically, I live in the part of TRONE we call Maine.  I quite frequently travel to the other parts of TRONE, aka New Hampshire and Vermont.

Now, you outsiders may be asking yourself, what the fuck is TRONE?  The Rest of New England.

Yes, that is what we are called if you are a National News person talking about weather-related news.  Or giving the forecast. 

Whenever a hell-on-earth snow storm breaks loose, the weather guys will tell you about all the shit it is about to rain down on New York, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Massachusetts.....and then...."the rest of New England"

That's right, they dare not speaketh our names.  This ain't new.  It's been going on for as long as I can remember.  Is it laziness?  Is it because they all suck at geography?  Considering my part of TRONE, Maine, is the only state in the union that is one syllable, that seems unlikely.

No, the reality is that it is part of a Conspiracy. 

That's right, there is a vast underground network of TV Weathermen who are part of a larger Shadowy Conspiracy to get us out of the Union.  I'm telling you right now!  And I know Al Roker is in it right up to his fat face!   

Now, you'd think, what kind of sway can some stupid TV WeatherStooge really have?  Right?  Well, you need look no further than poor old Willard Scott.  Willard dared to stray from the cause.  One day he dared utter "New Hampshire" in a weather forecast, and now look at him.  A poor old, bumbling, blabbering, stuttering boob.  Clearly someone slipped something into his Smuckers.  But they let him live as a warning to all other TV Weatherguys.  You stray from the mission, you get chemical induced Dementia and forced to read stupid birthday cards!

But why do they fear TRONE?  Why do they want to distance the rest of America from TRONE?  Maybe it is resentment when they come to our vacationing grounds and we tell them to fuck off when they clog up our roads!  Maybe it's because we rape their wallets for the pleasure of eating a red sea bug.  Maybe it's because Vermont is just plain chock full o' crazy mountain men!  (I can kind of see their point there)  Maybe Stephen King put a curse on them.  (I can understand that one too.  I mean, there was that one guy who hit him with a van, and then ended up dying months later.  Kinda creepy.)

Whatever their ill-conceived reason, it is clear they have it out for us and bad.  They will not rest until the rest of America has forgotten our names and we are given back to Canada. 

But my friends, it is going to take more than a bunch of vanilla, failed news-casters to ostracize the mighty region of TRONE!  We will not go quietly into the Maritimes!  We will stand firm....and charge you TWICE for a boiled lobster dinner!  And you WON'T get any fucking lemons!

I wanted to answer a question posed to me in another thread, in another thread.  That thread would be this thread.  If threads about drugs make your soul itch and give you the urge to vomit, I would suggest slowly turning around and leaving. 

For the rest of you, let's get it on!!!

Drugs are just bad news all around when you get right down to it.

Alcohol when used in moderation? Marijuana when used in moderation?

Okay, so this is my personal take. 

I can get on board with a general theory that moderate use of alcohol can be a fairly benign thing.  Yes, I can recognize that is also true with marijuana. 

The caveat, for me, is that people have varying definitions of "moderation".  And for some, "moderation", clinically, might start straying into dependence.  And then it can just get worse from there.

But yeah, I do enjoy alcohol in moderation.  Of course, for RWHN, that means buying a six pack that I share with my wife, once every other month...maybe.   We are teetotalers, completely.  I, personally, had some bad experiences with alcohol when I was in college which I will not get into.  I also had many experiences with really good friends who completely got lost in drugs.  But yeah, I had a couple other buddies who enjoyed alcohol and marijuana in moderation and were quite functional and also very talented and have been very successful.  But I remember those that got lost.  Guys who were so talented and had so much going for them....but they got lost in the chemicals. 

Because of the frequent power outages, the bartender decided to keep more light beers on hand. 

Because moviegoers are lazy, unimaginative asshats:

http://entertainment.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/18/10181652-moviegoers-demand-money-back-because-artist-is-silent

Moviegoers demand money back because 'Artist' is silent
"The Artist" is earning acclaim, including three Golden Globes. But not everyone appreciates the black-and-white, almost entirely silent film.
British newspapers are reporting that some moviegoers there demanded refunds after starting to watch the film and discovering it's silent (a few lines are spoken near the end).

I dunno, this movie might be a piece of shit.  I haven't seen it.  But are people asking for refunds for the third installment of "Alvin and the Chipmunks" when they realize it is a lifeless movie from a franchise that was creatively bankrupt before it began? 

I, for one, would relish a chance to see a well done silent movie.  One of the things I appreciated in a film like "Wall-E" was how much of a great story they could tell with little dialogue. 

Fucking morons. 

http://www.cracked.com/article_19628_9-ridiculous-cooking-myths-you-probably-believe.html

You may especially enjoy #3. 

This might be why:
http://www.drugfree.org/join-together/drugs/drug-maker-recalls-some-otc-drugs-to-avoid-mix-up-with-opioids-made-at-same-plant

Whoopsie!

An interesting article about Stephen Hawking as he is turning 70.  It's kind of a fluff piece as science reporting goes but it's interesting to get a little glimpse of the human side of Hawking as he has always appeared to be a bit of a character. 

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/05/9981931-what-mystifies-dr-hawking-women

As famed physicist Stephen Hawking turns 70, the subject that most occupies his thoughts is not how the universe arose from nothing, or how he's been able to live with neurodegenerative disease for so long. Here's what he thinks about most: "Women. They are a complete mystery."

That's the bottom line from New Scientist's interview with Hawking, timed to coincide with this weekend's birthday celebration at Cambridge. The theorist is almost completely paralyzed due to his decades-long struggle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's disease, and had to provide his answers by laboriously twitching his cheek to operate a computerized speech-translation system.

Hawking also listed what he saw as his "biggest blunder in science" (his now-repudiated insistence that information was destroyed in black holes), the most exciting development in physics during his career (the discovery of the big bang's imprint in cosmic microwave radiation) and the potential discovery that would do the most to revolutionize our understanding of the cosmos (discovery of supersymmetric particles at the Large Hadron Collider).

But it's his brief comment on women that attracted the most attention: How could it be that a scientist who has plumbed the deepest mysteries of the cosmos finds himself mystified by women?

Based on the view most folks have of geniuses, how could it not be?

The saga of the super-smart professor who is flummoxed by interpersonal relations, particularly with the opposite sex, is at least as old as Sigmund Freud (who famously wondered, "What does a woman want?"), Jerry Lewis' fictional "Nutty Professor" and the stereotype we have of Albert Einstein. It's as up to date as the TV astrophysicist on "The Big Bang Theory" who can't say a word to women unless he's under the influence.

Somehow, folks get a satisfying sense of karma from the idea that geniuses are socially stupid. But the stereotype doesn't really hold true, particularly in Hawking's case.

Like the real-life Einstein, Hawking has had an active romantic life, marked by two marriages. (Einstein's second marriage ended with the death of his wife and cousin Elsa; Hawking's ended in an ugly divorce.) Hawking's disease does not affect his sexual ability or his potency, and the fact that he's fathered three children is evidence of that.

"The disease only affects voluntary muscle," Hawking's been quoted as saying.

He's been called an "incorrigible flirt" and a "party animal who likes to dance in his wheelchair." Having seen Hawking playfully chase his grandson around a backstage room in his wheelchair after a Seattle lecture, I can readily believe the "party animal" part. And having seen the way his expressive eyes light up a room, I know he can turn on the charm despite his disability.

Through the years, Hawking has had a special thing for Marilyn Monroe. A picture of the enigmatic blonde hangs in his Cambridge office, and Hawking once told The Guardian that if he could travel back in time, he'd rather meet Monroe than the great physicist Isaac Newton, who "seems to have been an unpleasant character."

Even as he approaches the age of 70, Hawking seems to have kept his playful, pleasant, mischievous character. That may help explain his latest comment about the mystique surrounding women, as well as his own mystique.

Here's a classic example: Actress Jane Fonda was clearly won over last year when Hawking came backstage after her performance in a play about a woman musicologist in the early stages of neurodegenerative disease. "I took his hand and carefully uncurled the fingers one by one, wanting to see how they felt and looked ... soft, pale, safe," she recalled in a blog posting.

When Fonda asked Hawking what he thought of her performance, Hawking typed out a short response: "You were my heartthrob" — which got a big laugh. Fonda came away starstruck. "This man who cannot move or speak, can, nonetheless, comprehend the incomprehensible," she wrote.

Hmm ... Maybe women aren't such a complete mystery to Hawking after all.

What the thread title says:

Offered without comment:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/02/opinion/drug-policy-needs-centrists.html?_r=1

Overdosing on ExtremismBy KEVIN A. SABET
Published: January 1, 2012


ACCORDING to a recent study by the Centers for Disease Control, drug overdoses have increased almost six-fold in the last 30 years. They now represent the leading cause of accidental death in the United States, having overtaken motor vehicle accidents for the first time on record.

One might expect such news to spur politicians to explore new options for drug abuse treatment, prevention and enforcement. Instead, at precisely the wrong time, extremists on both sides have taken over the conversation. Unless we change the tone of the debate to give drug-policy centrists a voice, America's drug problem will only get worse.

Indeed, moderates have historically been key contributors to both the debate and the practice of effective drug policy. In 1914, Representative Francis B. Harrison, a New York Democrat, worked with Republicans and President Woodrow Wilson to pass the first major piece of federal anti-drug legislation, in response to a surge in heroin and cocaine use.

Other moderates, from Theodore Roosevelt to John F. Kennedy, made drug policy an important part of their domestic agendas. President Bill Clinton worked closely with Bob Dole, the Republican Senate majority leader, on sensible measures like drug courts and community policing. And Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. is the reason there is a drug czar in the first place, having pushed the idea for years before President Ronald Reagan approved it.

So where are the moderates now? Certainly, the current political climate makes it hard to come together on any question. Republicans are too timid to touch any domestic policy issue, like effective drug prevention and treatment, that might appear to cost taxpayers more money. And too many Democrats have yet to recognize that drugs are an issue that they and their constituents should care deeply about: after all, drug abuse and its consequences affect the most vulnerable in society in especially harmful ways.

In their place, a few tough-on-crime conservatives and die-hard libertarians dominate news coverage and make it appear as if legalizing drugs and "enforcement only" strategies were the only options, despite the fact that the public supports neither.

This stalemate comes just as a new range of cost-effective, evidence-based approaches to prevention, treatment and the criminal justice system are within our reach. We know much more about addiction than we did 20 years ago; with enough support, we could pursue promising medications and behavioral therapies, even a possible vaccine against some drug addictions.

Meanwhile, smart, innovative law enforcement strategies that employ carrots and sticks — treatment and drug testing complete with swift but modest consequences for continued drug use, or incentives for abstinence — have produced impressive results, through drug courts or closely supervised probation programs.

And drug prevention has moved from a didactic classroom exercise to a science of teaching life skills and changing environmental norms based on local data and community capacity. We now know that recovery from addiction is possible, and that policies that give former addicts a second chance are in everyone's interest.

Most recently, R. Gil Kerlikowske, President Obama's top drug policy adviser, introduced a sensible four-point plan to curb prescription drug abuse: educate prescribers, parents and young people about the dangers of overdose; shut down illegitimate "clinics" that freely sell these drugs; establish electronic monitoring at pharmacies; and encourage the proper disposal of unused medications. Yet his plan received little attention from the news media or Capitol Hill.

Of course, there is no magic bullet for America's drug problem. The magnitude and complexity of our drug problem require us to constantly refine and improve our policies through thoughtful analysis, innovation and discussion.

Moderates should lead that conversation. To remain silent not only betrays widely shared values of compassion and justice for the most vulnerable. It also leaves policy in the hands of extremists who would relegate a very serious and consequential discussion to frivolous and dangerous quarters.

Kevin A. Sabet, a drug-policy consultant, was a senior adviser in the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy from 2009 to 2011.

The outer-space pollution just might, if we're in the wrong spot at the wrong time.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45770560/ns/technology_and_science-space/

A strange metal ball dropped out of the sky and slammed into the remote grassland of northern Namibia recently, according to press reports.

The 14-inch-wide (35-centimeter) metallic sphere hit the ground about 480 miles (750 kilometers) north of Windhoek, the African country's capital. It left a crater 13 inches (33 cm) deep and 12.5 feet (3.8 meters) across, the Agence-France Presse (AFP) reported Thursday.

The metal "space ball" weighs 13 pounds (6 kilograms). It has a rough surface and appears to consist of two halves that were welded together, according to AFP.

The mystery sphere was discovered in mid-November, but local authorities held off on announcing the find until they could perform a few tests. They determined it poses no danger to the public.

"It is not an explosive device, but rather hollow, but we had to investigate all this first," police deputy inspector general Vilho Hifindaka told AFP.

However, Hifindaka and his colleagues still don't know what the object is or where exactly it came from. They've contacted NASA and the European Space Agency for help, AFP reported.

Locals apparently heard several small explosions a few days before the ball was found. Similar spheres have also been found in Australia and Central America over the last two decades, local authorities said.

Hello everyone,

With this renewed effort to create some new content, I thought I'd remind everyone (or make new folks aware) that we have a wiki page for the Black Iron Prison.  It is located at www.blackironprison.com, take a tour today!

If you would like an account so that you can add content send me a PM and I'll get you set-up. 

The place can always use some sprucing up so even if you don't have any new content to add, you'd definitely be welcome to pop in and help us update any outdated sections and so on.

So yeah, if you want in give me a hollar!  Or, in the spirit of the holidays, you can send your written request on a couple of Hamiltons. 

As my eyes came open, there she was, lying at the edge of my bed.
Welcoming me to the day with a warm smile.
At first, I was a bit shocked and flustered.
Who is this woman?  What will my wife say if she wakes up?  Wait, why isn't she waking up?  She is a light sleeper after all.  I didn't bring this woman here.  I didn't welcome her to our home, but she might think-

"Be at peace.  She will not awake. This is your moment and yours alone." she replied.   

"Are you-?", I questioned in my head.

"Yes, I am" she replied. 

"Why-"

"-am I here? To affirm what has troubled you so.  To bring you some solace.  And to ask you to cast outward upon others that which you hold inside under great pressure."

"How do you-?"

"I just do.  It's part of this gig.  To sense and perceive these thoughts.  And I am here to tell you it is okay.  That your thoughts are with much merit."

I paused and pondered. 

"You are quite right.  The world is mired in misery.  There is much concentration on the doom and gloom on this planet.  This is, of course, quite understandable.  There is indeed much strife for so many.  But, you are also right that it is also a trap to become so absorbed in this.  That it is prone to suck in all of the life and light.  That even those with earnest intentions to right the wrongs, can get lost in the darkness.  The world needs more light.  The world needs more joy.  The world needs more frivolity."

I sat nodding, listening to her words.  Words that seemed to be elicited and registered through mere thought and feeling.  It was as though they were just floating in the air and gently being absorbed by my mind.

"You are given but a cosmic heartbeat to exist in this universe.  It does seem a pity for much of that to dwell in pain and misery.  It is as was told all of those years ago.  Too many have forgotten the art and joy in playing games.  Even those who earnestly wish to create a better world.  They become so lost in the mission, that they forget to enjoy.  You and others must help people remember.  Remember to laugh.  Remember to revel in the packets of pleasure this reality presents.  To afford oneself those moments where they let their troubles and the troubles of the world melt away as they seek refuge in a rejuvenating chortle."

"But there is just so much negativity all around.  The news reports on all of the awful stuff everyday.  People are out of work.  People can't heat their homes.  People struggle to get their three squares."

"Oh, yes, this is all quite true.  And the world DOES need champions fighting for and alongside those who are straddled with these very significant struggles.  But those champions will be useless without hope and joy in their own lives.  They need to live and embrace what they are fighting for.  They need to be ambassadors for joy and inner peace.  To share the possibilities at the end of the dark tunnel, and to stride hand in hand with great resolve towards those possibilities."

"Yes"

"This was a vital part of what I bestowed so long ago.  Nonsense as Salvation.  Take yourselves too seriously, take the world too seriously, and I fear you will be doomed to fail time and again.  It's time to amp up the Nonsense.  Bring the Joy and Laughter.  Spread far and wide the Silliness and Glee.  Wield these and together, you will all make great strides.  Share these with others.  Grow the Army.  For sure, the darkness will still obtain many victories."

"Indeed"

"But, at least when the time comes when you fall as one of its victims, you can die with a big ol fucking grin on your face.  Knowing, that you enjoyed the hell out of life, and then some.  That is victory.  That is a treasure that cannot be taken away.  Bestow it onto your brethren."

And with that last word she was gone.  The room had grown dark again.  My wife still sound asleep next to me.  I felt calm and reassured.  I lied back down and drifted back to sleep.  Waiting for tomorrow. 

2011 has been a pretty miserable year for a lot of people.  Add on top of that the fact that the Holidays tend to bring a lot of stress and misery to people anyway. 

So, I think it is our duty as Discordians to do something about that.

So here is the challenge for the Holidays. Warning, this will sound very Hallmarky and fuzzy.

Make people in your life laugh and smile.  But, be creative and unconventional, be unexpected.  When your Mom is sweating bullets because the ham isn't turning out well, tell her a joke or make a comment or do something to elicit a good guffaw. 

We talk alot about doom and gloom around here.  I think it's time to start pushing back against some of that shit, even if it is a temporary release. 

So have at it and report back.  I will be doing the same. 

ZOMG!  IT'S 2012!!!



The country is broken thanks to a broken political system.  Well, it's working just dandy if you ARE a politician.  A bunch of us have been round these parts for a few years now.  We've only seen things get worse, not better. 

So, what can Discordia add to the mix in 2012 and going forward?  What can we do? 

My take is that we can't really do anything when it comes to the System writ large.  I think the course has been more or less set in stone and only calamity or catastrophe is going to cause a shift in direction. 

I wonder if know the shift needs to be towards "saving" as many people as we can, in our own circles.  That is, shining the light on the failures and illuminating the other paths an individual can take to protect themselves and their loved ones. 

To put it shortly, I wonder if it is time for a strategy of defense as offense. 

What do you think?  Where does Discordia fit in 2012? 

FIRST!

What were you thinking when you did that thing that you did? 

Did you honestly think we weren't going to find out?

I mean, it did leave a mark.  I'm not just talking about the mental mark forever scorched into my brain.  And trust me, I'd sand blast that out of my head if I could fit the hose through my ear cavity. 

By the way, next time you try to buy a guy off, you might want to try a little more than a fiver.  That won't even cover the cost of a good pack of smokes these days. 

http://www.threestooges.com/movie/

I can see wanting to do a bio-pic on the Stooges, but this isn't that. 

It's just a new Three Stooges movie with three D-list actors. 

WTF? 

Search is borked so I can't find the thread where I usually bitch and whine about this, but here it is.

Your inductees for 2012 are:

Guns N Roses (I can go with that)
Beastie Boys  (They have been known to let their songs rock)
The Red Hot Chili Peppers (Swing and a miss.  They shouldn't even be allowed to purchase tickets for admission)
Laura Nyo (I have no idea who she is so I shall reserve judgement)
Donovan (eh, don't have an opinion really)
The Small Faces/The Faces  (Oh great, they are letting Rod Stewart in.)

They passed on:  Heart (should be in, no brainer), Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (incomprehensible), and Rufus with Chaka Khan.

But really, fuck the Chili Peppers.  Anthony Kiedis is a one-dimensional hack.  Induct Flea because he's the only reason that band ever has any listenable moments, but fuck the rest of them. 

And fuck Axl Rose because you just know he's going to fuck this up.  It should be a pretty simple thing, suck it up and play with the original line-up for a couple of songs, get your little trophy or whatever they handout, and then you and your corn-rows can go back to hanging out with Bucket-face.  The Police managed to do it, which is a pretty tall feat because I know it would be hard for me to be within 10 feet of Sting and not want to punch him in the face. 

Okay, that's the end of my rant...for now. 

Why did the Dream Theater cover band re-locate to the Czech Republic?

To be recognized as a true Prague Rock band.  

http://ingame.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/14/8802690-peta-attacks-nintendo-over-fur-wearing-mario

Okay, I can't actually read the article because it's blocked but I'm assuming by the headline (PETA attacks Nintendo over fur wearing Mario) it is full of fail.

Did they miss the whole bit where he's been kicking the shit out of turtles for the past couple of decades? 

I mean, you don't see me going after Mario for condoning eating magic mushrooms. 

Why?

Because it's a fucking video game.  If kids decide they should replicate a video game in real life, there are some very troubling issues lying much deeper. 

Celebrate!

In Flames are my favorite melodic death metal band.  Their latest album is some fantastic shit.

Discuss and post some of your favorite In Flames songs. 

The reliability of this life is its unreliability.  It's one goddamned unexpected knife twist in the back after a-fucking-nother. A person who expects smooth sailing quickly finds themselves at the bottom of the ocean.  But fuck if I wouldn't have it any other way.  The constant reminder of this feeble existence gives me a quickened step in my stride.  It would be horribly boring and uninspiring if there was no challenge.  If there were no tests.  If there were no disappointments.  If there was no constant loss.  If there was no tragic deaths.  If there were no glorious revelations.  If there were no chance encounters.  If there were no.....

So, just fucking bring it!

Stop waiting for the stars to align up to hand over to you a big bowl of plush-wrapped sunshine kitties because it isn't going to happen and you are just wasting time waiting for that bullshit when you could be out taking the man by the goddamned gonads and showing him what is what, you dig? 

I HAVE FRIDAY FEVER ON WENEZDAY!  HIDE YOUR SPOUSES AND CLOISTER YOUR CHILDRENZ!!!

I have no idea what that means but it sounded good in my head.

To quote the wise philosopher Shock G:

"Let's get stoopid!"

Ask me anything!  Do it now! 

Okay. 

It was funny and cute for the first couple of months.  When we played that game where you pretended you were Iran and my beard was a couple of drunk American hikers.

But...it's time for the beard to come home.

Winter is coming.

DO YOU WANT MY FACE TO FREEZE THIS WAY!?!?!?!?

Ask me anything!

Hey TDH!

*whistling*

doo-be-doo-be-doo.

*walks away*

TRUE STORY TIMEZZ!!!!

I was in my easy chair reading one of my favorite classics.  All of a sudden, there was this weird sound coming from the fireplace.  At first it was a faint scraping sound.  Like little bits of wood scraping metal.  Then, I heard a faint cheep-cheep.  Son of a bitch if I didn't have a bird nest fall down my chimney.  I don't know why the fuckers decided to build on top of my chimney anyway.  I mean, there's a goddamn tree right there in the yard with nice, sturdy, and supportive branches.  Nice big lawn for them to shit all of their worms and seeds.  They must be nuts. 

But there they are.  It's quite the sight.  I mean, it's not every day you have one flue over the cuckoo's nest. 

So should I call animal control? 

The Romaines of The Day!

Jim stared at his computer for what seemed like hours.  He was filled with indecision and angst.  With the American economy seemingly crumbling all around, desperation was starting to take hold.  He, like many others, had seen his retirement fund bleed rivers of red.  That safety cushion looked much less safe these days.  Promises that were presented are no longer trustworthy.  It was time for Jim to look out for himself and take control of his financial destiny. 

He had recently heard all of the hoopla around the gold market.  The ads are everywhere.  The price going through the roof.  Though, in the past few days it did exhibit some instability.  He had also looked into the silver market.  Sure, it wasn't as flashy as gold and wasn't making the headlines, but it seemed stable.  The little engine that could.  His money would grow, but at a snail's pace.  A slow building trudge.  But, the gold market seems faddy.  At some point it would just fall to pieces and then he'd really be sunk. 

And so there he was, staring at the computer.  Which way should he go?  Where should the money go? 

It seemed, at the end of the day, it was a flip of the coin.  Your typical either ore decision. 

I know there is another thread somewhere but search is borked and I'm lazy.

So here is the latest crop of nominees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

First timers:
Guns N' Roses,
the Cure,
Heart,
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts,
Eric B. and Rakim,
the Spinners,
the Small Faces/Faces,
Freddy King and Rufus with Chaka Khan

Returning nominees:
Beastie Boys,
Laura Nyro,
War Donovan 
Red Hot Chili Peppers

For me, it's a no-brainer and the first 5 are inducted.  But they are sure to fuck it up, as they usually do.  Too bad they can't open it up to six nominees because the Beastie Boys should be in as well.  I'm completely fine with RHCP not making it.   

It will be interesting to see how Axl handles it when they get inducted.  (I don't see how they don't get inducted).  would be cool to see a performance of the original lineup. 

There once was this duck named Wilbur.  He was a bit smarter than your average duck.  But then again, he was a Mallard, everyone expects Mallards to excel.  But Wilbur was a giant in the Mallard world.  He would spend hours contemplating the universe, from his quaint spot at the edge of Big Pond.  He wondered what the future would be like.  What fortunes would come to duck-kind as the years ahead unraveled?  What new discoveries would advance the fortunes of his feathered friends?  

One day, he decided that he didn't want to sit around and wait for the future.  He wanted to see tomorrow today!  He set to work creating himself a machine that would allow him to travel into the future.  Luckily, Big Pond was within easy flying distance of the local research university.  He knew that there was this one, rather absent minded professor who would always leave the window to his laboratory wide open.  He would occasionally sneak in to check out the latest contraption the professor was fiddling with.  This night, he let himself in and set right to work creating his machine.  

Finally, his machine ready, it was time for the maiden voyage.  "How far ahead should I go?", he pondered to himself.  He decided to just take a short hop for now, and set the machine for a year from that very day.  With the target date set, he through the switch.  There was a great buzzing and whirring.  The machine lit up bright and began rotating vigorously.  There was a great flash before him and.....there he was.  

The laboratory looked slightly different.  A few new gismoz here and there, but not dramatically different.  But the real treat was going to be a visit to his home on Big Pond.  He quickly took to the air and flapped over to his corner of the pond.  He set down upon the ground and started to waddle towards the vegetation that surrounded his home.  Before he could get there, a rustling started from the brush.  Out jumped, him.  But, him a year older.  

They both stood there, silent...staring at each other.  This was quite the pair o' ducks!

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44491069/ns/today-entertainment/

Oh Nooooo! Vader's 'Jedi' yell
Remember at the end of "Revenge of the Sith," when we finally see the completion of Anakin Skywalker's turn to the Dark Side, and he becomes Darth Vader? Then you probably recall how that incredible scene, something "Star Wars" fans had been waiting to see for years, was undercut by Vader's instantly infamous "NOOOOOOOO!"

Guess what Lucas decided to add to the climactic moment in "Jedi" when Vader saves Luke from the Emperor? Uh-huh. The Sith Lord now also says 'NOOOOOO!' before he gives Palpatine the shaft and tosses him over the rail.

The Internet nearly cracked in half when news of this change leaked. Either Lucas likes the continuity of having Vader bellow the same silly thing in the end film of both trilogies, or he just wanted to get under the skin of the segment of the fan base annoyed with all his tweaks. Mission accomplished, George.

Eh, doesn't matter I suppose.  I don't have Blu-Ray, AND this package has the 1997 version of IV-VI, not the original theatrical versions.  So I'm not wasting my money on this shit anyway. 

You can row upstream through the headwaters of insolence, crass plastic consumerism, and rank and file space occupiers for only so long.  This is especially so when 6 out of the 8 people on your crew often seem appropriate to be tossed overboard to drown in the din.  It is at that crystalline moment of realization that one should draw out their bull horn and shout the Horrible Truth down their throats.  They will either finally choke and die or awaken out of their many-decade stupor.  More allies and less dead-weight.  A good enough outcome in an existence of shitty ones. 

At this point it is seemingly impossible to avoid the massive build up to the anniversary of that thing that happened.  That thing that has apparently been permanently burned into the lexicon of American History.  Whether we like it or not, it is going to be rubbing elbows with Paul Revere, the "shot heard around the world", the assassination of JFK, landing on the moon, etc., etc.,

Americans seem to enjoy wallowing in this rather perverse celebration of massive death at the hands of a rag-tag group of malcontents.  A group that specifically intended the outcome that our country chooses to perpetuate.  

They wanted this event to be permanently etched into the American psyche.  And it happened.  
They wanted September 11th, 2001 to be forever associated with terror and death.  And it happened.
They wanted us to go into knee-jerk mode to help fuel their recruitment drives.  And it happened.
They wanted to die for a cause that would allow them to live in infamy.  And it happened.

You will not be able to avoid what has already begun.  You could bury your TV, avoid all of the print publications, turn off your radio....but you'll still have your neighbors.

And your co-workers, and your family, and your mailman, and your meter-reader.  They will suck you into conversation.  They'll ask you where you were.  They'll ask you if you knew anyone.  They'll ask you if you are going to watch that movie about that I-beam that is wandering around from town to town on a flatbed truck making appearances at your local State Fair.  Right next to the stand where they sell deep-fried Milky Way bars.  

It's already begun.  The stories about the kids who were born days after 9/11 where their Dad was killed.  The stories about the old lady who lost her husband.  The stories about some farmer who saw the hole that that plane in Pennsylvania made.  The stories about the stories.  

To be clear, we should not begrudge the families who lost friends and loved ones their time to reflect.  For most it is likely to still be a very raw and tender set of feelings as that day arrives.  But that's just it, this day should be left to them.  To allow them to remember those they lost.  But that is not what has happened.  This country uses that pain as a way to justify wallowing in jingoist, saber-rattling reflection.  To get lost in this weird violent nationalistic and xenophobic pornography.

We want to never forget, we want to remember, but not because we want to remember the tragedy of those who perished.  No, we want to remember to justify the hot, seething hatred many in this country have for those people.  Because this country wants to continue to insist those 19 assholes were speaking for everyone else who kinda looks like them or has a similar accent.  

And anyone who will take 5 seconds to think about it knows its beyond fucked up.  They know that every god-damned thing we do to enshrine this event is exactly what those fuckers wanted us to do.  The smart thing to do, the thing to do that would actually emanate from a true sense of pride would be to brush it the fuck off and just move on.  To stop dwelling.  To no longer allow it to dictate our politics and our policies.  To stand up and decree that this country isn't some pathetic daisy that will just wilt and buckle.  But those of us who realize this are going to be deemed "insensitive".  We have a "lack of empathy".  

Well, fuck no, I have empathy.  That's why I want us to fucking just stop.  JUST FUCKING STOP IT NOW!!!  Let's pull up our god damned big-boy pants and focus on the stuff that is breaking and falling apart NOW!  

Officials say he sent the following message to Obama congratulating him on his handling of Irene:

"Heck of a job brownie!"