Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => Topic started by: BadBeast on March 31, 2011, 11:32:54 pm

Title: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on March 31, 2011, 11:32:54 pm
http://www.noonehastodietomorrow.com/tech/weaponry/2725-2725

Beats me that this has only been criticized for being "Too Bulky, and expensive".
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 01, 2011, 07:27:03 pm
I don't know, personally I would rather this pain ray thing than a stick, taser, gas or rubber bullets which is what is being used now.  If this thing does no actual damage. 

I want a handheld version.  I would sit and just fuck with people.   :lulz:

Yes I am that sick, don't act surprised.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 01, 2011, 07:58:02 pm
I'm really excited about this.  It's completely evidence-free, so if I writhe around in pain and point a finger, there's nothing to say I'm a dirty lying bastard.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 09:59:38 pm
I don't know, personally I would rather this pain ray thing than a stick, taser, gas or rubber bullets which is what is being used now.  If this thing does no actual damage.  

I want a handheld version.  I would sit and just fuck with people.   :lulz:

Yes I am that sick, don't act surprised.
Sick? Nah, I also covet a handheld version of this beauty, primarily to fuck with people. It's not sick it's just wanting to give yourself a bit of an edge. And like the railgun, I bet there's no firearms legislation anywhere yet to restrict the carrying of one. It's not like it's harmful or anything, or they wouldn't let them use it on convicts, would they?
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 01, 2011, 10:03:24 pm
I don't know, personally I would rather this pain ray thing than a stick, taser, gas or rubber bullets which is what is being used now.  If this thing does no actual damage.  

I want a handheld version.  I would sit and just fuck with people.   :lulz:

Yes I am that sick, don't act surprised.
Sick? Nah, I also covet a handheld version of this beauty, primarily to fuck with people. It's not sick it's just wanting to give yourself a bit of an edge. And like the railgun, I bet there's no firearms legislation anywhere yet to restrict the carrying of one. It's not like it's harmful or anything, or they wouldn't let them use it on convicts, would they?

I would sit at the Arch all day under a tree.....  :evil:

Or intentionally walk two blocks down from my house alone.....  BWAHAHAHA That I would enjoy, standing over one of the hood rats asking them what is wrong with them. 

I WANT ONE!!!
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 10:03:58 pm
I'm really excited about this.  It's completely evidence-free, so if I writhe around in pain and point a finger, there's nothing to say I'm a dirty lying bastard.  :lulz:
People would just think you had some kind of chronic gripe in your guts, and make you drink Cod Liver Oil until it cleared.  
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 01, 2011, 10:06:20 pm
Plant handheld pain laser on person with some of the energy discharged, get a witness.  Irrefutable evidence of torture.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 10:11:26 pm
Plant handheld pain laser on person with some of the energy discharged, get a witness.  Irrefutable evidence of torture.
I'm not even sure there is any legislation against lasers either, but I'd have to check at Cracked.com to be sure. They have instructions how to build burning strength lasers, and EM Pulse guns up there somewhere too. "7 Legal Sci-Fi weapons you can build at home"  I think the thread's called.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 10:31:37 pm
Also, is someone fucking with our Avatars?
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 01, 2011, 10:50:00 pm
What?  No. 

I checked out that cracked article.  I'd love to make my own trash tesla coil.


Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 01, 2011, 11:06:24 pm
What?  No. 

I checked out that cracked article.  I'd love to make my own trash tesla coil.



Yeah, that would be cool. Doesn't seem prohibitively complicated, or anything. 
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 01, 2011, 11:07:28 pm
Nah!  Cakewalk, really.  And it's a great way to accidentally a few jiggawatts.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 02, 2011, 12:03:12 am
Am I the only one that has repeatedly skimmed the topic titles and read this one as Priya Rai?
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 02, 2011, 12:06:40 am
Now I do.  Bastard.  :argh!:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Laughin Jude on April 02, 2011, 02:02:41 am
This will revolutionize fetish porn.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 02, 2011, 02:04:30 am
Doubtful.  It's the wrong sort of pain for most kinks.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 02, 2011, 02:07:33 am
It will make that nasty waterboarding obsolete too.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Laughin Jude on April 02, 2011, 03:16:50 am
Doubtful.  It's the wrong sort of pain for most kinks.
Maybe. Then again, I know a girl who's had an orgasm from falling down the stairs...
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Vaud on April 02, 2011, 04:05:57 am
Plant handheld pain laser on person with some of the energy discharged, get a witness.  Irrefutable evidence of torture.
I'm not even sure there is any legislation against lasers either, but I'd have to check at Cracked.com to be sure. They have instructions how to build burning strength lasers, and EM Pulse guns up there somewhere too. "7 Legal Sci-Fi weapons you can build at home"  I think the thread's called.
I really don't think you could build a laser at home, with "burning strength", that would be worth a damn as a weapon.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 02, 2011, 06:36:00 am
Doubtful.  It's the wrong sort of pain for most kinks.
Maybe. Then again, I know a girl who's had an orgasm from falling down the stairs...
I knew a girl who regularly fell off her bicycle, because she had orgasms whenever she was sat in the saddle, and pedaling at the same time. She loved that fucking bike! Rode it to school every day, and we all thought she was just a clumsy cow who kept falling off her bike. (It wasn't until maybe 5 years later, in an intimate moment that she told me why she kept falling off!) I lol'd and lol'd.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 02, 2011, 05:08:56 pm
 :argh!:

Only men would take a perfect torture device and think of sex.

Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 02, 2011, 05:39:37 pm
Plant handheld pain laser on person with some of the energy discharged, get a witness.  Irrefutable evidence of torture.
I'm not even sure there is any legislation against lasers either, but I'd have to check at Cracked.com to be sure. They have instructions how to build burning strength lasers, and EM Pulse guns up there somewhere too. "7 Legal Sci-Fi weapons you can build at home"  I think the thread's called.
I really don't think you could build a laser at home, with "burning strength", that would be worth a damn as a weapon.

Not legally at least :lulz:

(bastards outlawed everything above a watt  :argh!:)
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 02, 2011, 06:17:18 pm
Plant handheld pain laser on person with some of the energy discharged, get a witness.  Irrefutable evidence of torture.
I'm not even sure there is any legislation against lasers either, but I'd have to check at Cracked.com to be sure. They have instructions how to build burning strength lasers, and EM Pulse guns up there somewhere too. "7 Legal Sci-Fi weapons you can build at home"  I think the thread's called.
I really don't think you could build a laser at home, with "burning strength", that would be worth a damn as a weapon.
I think there's just been a bit of a jump forward in Laser technology, something to do with diode construction I think. Even the laser from a DVD burner, or even better, a blu-ray set can burst balloons, or light match heads from across the room. So if you are attacked by balloon wielding matchstick men,  .. . . . . then you are so totally going to zap those fuckers!
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 04, 2011, 03:40:54 pm
:argh!:

Only men would take a perfect torture device and think of sex.



I beg to differ. I'm fairly sure my knowledge of kinky stuff comes mostly from women, now that I think of it.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 04, 2011, 04:40:52 pm
:argh!:

Only men would take a perfect torture device and think of sex.



I beg to differ. I'm fairly sure my knowledge of kinky stuff comes mostly from women, now that I think of it.
Same here. We men just generally go along with whatever's going to get us laid. Up to a point, that is. But we are also easily distracted, and predictable, which is why women come up with most of the new flavours and games, as bait to grab our attentions for the second or two it takes to engage. (There's probably a bit more to it, but in a nutshell, yes, women are all crazy)  :love:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Luna on April 04, 2011, 04:43:49 pm
...in a nutshell, yes, women are all crazy...

Three guesses who made us this way.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 04, 2011, 04:51:14 pm
...in a nutshell, yes, women are all crazy...

Three guesses who made us this way.

No kidding and I mean seriously, we're not the ones getting smacked in the nuts, so who is the crazy one and who is playing crazy to fuck you up bad boyo???  :evil:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 04, 2011, 08:00:41 pm
...in a nutshell, yes, women are all crazy...

Three guesses who made us this way.

No kidding and I mean seriously, we're not the ones getting smacked in the nuts, so who is the crazy one and who is playing crazy to fuck you up bad boyo???  :evil:
I'm glad the satirical angle of what I said hasn't been lost on you Ladies.

No kidding and I mean seriously, Women are the ones with the parenting window to train up boys with a healthy socio-sexual attitude, and misogyny in adulthood usually shows first in the   Mother/Son relationship. (A relationship that's generally fully set, by the age of seven or eight) 
A young boy learns the dynamics of having relationships with Women, from his Mother. It is only after this that the Father has his optimum window of input. But if the parenting relationship between Father and Mother is dysfunctional, then the whole Mother /Son thing gets the wrong idea, and another sociopathic monster misogynist arsehole rides out into the world on a completely  unsuitable motorcycle.

*Frowns* {{{Didn't everyone's Mummy spank them in the nuts??}}}  *Puzzled*
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: LMNO on April 04, 2011, 08:03:58 pm
:argh!:

Only men would take a perfect torture device and think of sex.


When I first heard about this, I assumed it was a reverse-engineered weaponized sex toy...
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 08:04:14 pm
I don't know, personally I would rather this pain ray thing than a stick, taser, gas or rubber bullets which is what is being used now.  If this thing does no actual damage. 

Yes, but we already know from tasers that the less lethal the "non-lethal" agent, the more likely that authority figures will use it unnecessarily.

Also, do you REALLY want the government to have something that can cause physical agony without leaving any mark at all?

No.  Only I can be trusted with this sort of SCIENCE.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 08:06:21 pm
Quote from: From the link
A video shows Los Angeles prison guards having fun as they try it out on each other, despite the hit being ‘excruciatingly painful’.

Oh, yeah, this ain't gonna be abused.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: LMNO on April 04, 2011, 08:07:03 pm
Jackass 5 is gonna be interesting.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 08:31:38 pm
Jackass 5 is gonna be interesting consist entirely of police footage.

Fixed that for ya.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 04, 2011, 10:13:56 pm
I don't know, personally I would rather this pain ray thing than a stick, taser, gas or rubber bullets which is what is being used now.  If this thing does no actual damage. 

Yes, but we already know from tasers that the less lethal the "non-lethal" agent, the more likely that authority figures will use it unnecessarily.

Also, do you REALLY want the government to have something that can cause physical agony without leaving any mark at all?

No.  Only I can be trusted with this sort of SCIENCE.

Not if I get one first!!!   :evil:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 03:30:21 am
I don't know, personally I would rather this pain ray thing than a stick, taser, gas or rubber bullets which is what is being used now.  If this thing does no actual damage. 

Yes, but we already know from tasers that the less lethal the "non-lethal" agent, the more likely that authority figures will use it unnecessarily.

Also, do you REALLY want the government to have something that can cause physical agony without leaving any mark at all?

No.  Only I can be trusted with this sort of SCIENCE.

Not if I get one first!!!   :evil:
If you both got one each, then you could fight to resolve silly disputes like this.  I'm making one out of an old microwave, a tesla coil, and a satellite dish. I'm going to hook my mobile phone up to it, log on to the net via a Filipino proxy, dial certain telephone numbers, then when the answerers pick up at their end, melt their brains with pulsed microwaves. (On the "quick defrost" setting)
 I'm planning a MkII, with an incorporated tight beam E.M Pulse Sniper gun, for low flying aircraft, ground based internal combustion engines, and a directional WIFI Scanner, to pinpoint individual hard drives, at up to 2km away, and wipe them, partition by partition. Then I will be unstoppable. Whatever they send against me, will get blu-screened by my multi-wavelength attack geek array.
I'm going to have a set of lightweight Tailored "Dragonskin" combat fatigues, in case they deploy projectile weaponry, 7 League Boots, a special tin-foil scanning Stealth-Helmet, a Cape, and a catchy Superhero name for myself. I thought maybe Freq-Beast, or the Uninstaller. The US would send the J.L.A to retire me, but they would totally be my Bitches. But can we keep all this between ourselves for now? I don't want to have to go operational until Charlie Sheen delivers my brief. (See, I've really thought about this) David Icke's gonna be my Tech Support, and Public Relations guy, and I thought I'd ask Phoxy to be my Manager and Booking Agent. This time next year, It should be all over, bar the shouting. Then I can unveil my 5 year plan for a Global Utopian  Anarchist Supercollective.

BadBeast. Up in your fatpipes, subverting your paradigm.       
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 05, 2011, 04:42:47 am
Jackass 5 is gonna be interesting consist entirely of police footage.

Fixed that for ya.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One with a gag,
One who can't move...
Where are the kinks?
Send in the kinks...
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 07:07:17 am
Jackass 5 is gonna be interesting consist entirely of police footage.

Fixed that for ya.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One with a gag,
One who can't move...
Where are the kinks?
Send in the kinks...
  :mittens:  Just for that,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9KaI5T0zRw&feature=related
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 03:22:48 pm
Jackass 5 is gonna be interesting consist entirely of police footage.

Fixed that for ya.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One with a gag,
One who can't move...
Where are the kinks?
Send in the kinks...

:lulz:

AH HAET YUO!

:lulz:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 05, 2011, 05:40:57 pm
It's bad, Roger.  Not only will our police have sci-fi flash gordon shit, herds of kinky motherfuckers will start shit with them just for the privilege of being oppressed.  The President will call it a catastrophe.  The news will call it domestic terrorism.  The S&M crowd will call it...Friday night.

Oh, yeah.  It's going to be a good century.  Comedians will have to go back to knock knock jokes and inquisitive comedy just to give the crowd a chance to stop laughing.  Or are those wails of dismay and gnashings of teeth?  You can hardly tell from up here on the balcony.  Up here it just looks like Fun...Fun...Fun...
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: President Television on April 05, 2011, 08:47:18 pm
It's bad, Roger.  Not only will our police have sci-fi flash gordon shit, herds of kinky motherfuckers will start shit with them just for the privilege of being oppressed.  The President will call it a catastrophe.  The news will call it domestic terrorism.  The S&M crowd will call it...Friday night.

Oh, yeah.  It's going to be a good century.  Comedians will have to go back to knock knock jokes and inquisitive comedy just to give the crowd a chance to stop laughing.  Or are those wails of dismay and gnashings of teeth?  You can hardly tell from up here on the balcony.  Up here it just looks like Fun...Fun...Fun...

Till your daddy takes the T-Bird away.
It will always be till your daddy takes the T-Bird away. I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 05, 2011, 10:39:08 pm
It's bad, Roger.  Not only will our police have sci-fi flash gordon shit, herds of kinky motherfuckers will start shit with them just for the privilege of being oppressed.  The President will call it a catastrophe.  The news will call it domestic terrorism.  The S&M crowd will call it...Friday night.

Oh, yeah.  It's going to be a good century.  Comedians will have to go back to knock knock jokes and inquisitive comedy just to give the crowd a chance to stop laughing.  Or are those wails of dismay and gnashings of teeth?  You can hardly tell from up here on the balcony.  Up here it just looks like Fun...Fun...Fun...

KICKING IN THE HOT SEAT, SITTING IN THE RESTRAINT SEAT, WHICH SEAT SHOULD I CHOSE?
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BabylonHoruv on April 05, 2011, 11:26:38 pm
Doubtful.  It's the wrong sort of pain for most kinks.

I dunno, there are quite a few masochists into burning, and the main reason they don't do more of it is becuase it leaves nasty scars.

This doesn't do that.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 12:06:03 am
It's bad, Roger.  Not only will our police have sci-fi flash gordon shit, herds of kinky motherfuckers will start shit with them just for the privilege of being oppressed.  The President will call it a catastrophe.  The news will call it domestic terrorism.  The S&M crowd will call it...Friday night.

Oh, yeah.  It's going to be a good century.  Comedians will have to go back to knock knock jokes and inquisitive comedy just to give the crowd a chance to stop laughing.  Or are those wails of dismay and gnashings of teeth?  You can hardly tell from up here on the balcony.  Up here it just looks like Fun...Fun...Fun...

KICKING IN THE HOT SEAT, SITTING IN THE RESTRAINT SEAT, WHICH SEAT SHOULD I CHOSE?

:mittens:
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 01:55:53 am
It's bad, Roger.  Not only will our police have sci-fi flash gordon shit, herds of kinky motherfuckers will start shit with them just for the privilege of being oppressed.  The President will call it a catastrophe.  The news will call it domestic terrorism.  The S&M crowd will call it...Friday night.

Oh, yeah.  It's going to be a good century.  Comedians will have to go back to knock knock jokes and inquisitive comedy just to give the crowd a chance to stop laughing.  Or are those wails of dismay and gnashings of teeth?  You can hardly tell from up here on the balcony.  Up here it just looks like Fun...Fun...Fun...

KICKING IN THE HOT SEAT, SITTING IN THE RESTRAINT SEAT, WHICH SEAT SHOULD I CHOSE?

:mittens:

American century ended 11 years ago.  This is ROGER'S GODDAMN CENTURY.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Jasper on April 06, 2011, 03:26:42 am
Doubtful.  It's the wrong sort of pain for most kinks.

I dunno, there are quite a few masochists into burning, and the main reason they don't do more of it is becuase it leaves nasty scars.

This doesn't do that.

Yeah I thought of it after I said that.

We need to organize a secret society of S&M kinksters,

-pause to enjoy the sound of that-

...and have them at overtly enjoy the lasers.  The police see that, and they'll think their kit's been sabotaged.  :lulz:

I fantasize about the looks on their faces.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BabylonHoruv on April 07, 2011, 02:13:24 am
Doubtful.  It's the wrong sort of pain for most kinks.

I dunno, there are quite a few masochists into burning, and the main reason they don't do more of it is becuase it leaves nasty scars.

This doesn't do that.

Yeah I thought of it after I said that.

We need to organize a secret society of S&M kinksters,

-pause to enjoy the sound of that-

...and have them at overtly enjoy the lasers.  The police see that, and they'll think their kit's been sabotaged.  :lulz:

I fantasize about the looks on their faces.

Hmm,  my wife's into burning.  She generally frowns on my subversive activities though.
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 16, 2011, 12:20:49 am
Home made 1 megawatt pulse laser gun. (Handheld)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUXXGbNS8oY&feature=player_embedded
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: Adios on April 16, 2011, 07:31:38 pm
So, we are now in the age where those who wear pace-makers and dorsal column stimulation will be required to wear big signs stating the fact that they have them.

What could possibly go wrong?
Title: Re: Pain Ray being tested in US Prison
Post by: BadBeast on April 16, 2011, 08:41:45 pm
So, we are now in the age where those who wear pace-makers and dorsal column stimulation will be required to wear big signs stating the fact that they have them.

What could possibly go wrong?
Same as usual I suspect. Everything that possibly can. That's why I shall endeavor to only use my laser pistol mind ray zapper guns for righting wrongnesses, and subtle, but hilarious practical jokery / jiggery pokery, and defending the defenceless from Wasps, and stuff like that. My little points of light, slicing through the darkness bringing shits and giggles to the oppressed,  the forgotten, the glum, and the constipated. Again, what could possibly go wrong?