Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Jasper on January 26, 2007, 07:32:07 AM

Title: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Jasper on January 26, 2007, 07:32:07 AM
I always want to answer the best I can when people ask retarded, obvious questions they don't care to have answered.

I'm a twenty year old aspiring computer genius participating in a fringe revolution.  I work in a mentally disabled home and sell plasma to earn money to meet the woman of my dreams.  I'm slightly addicted to energy supplements like coffee and adrenal support tonic.  I try to be nice to people on generous principle, but I'm vain, grandiose, and overoptimistic.  I hang out on the internet almost all the time, with people who believe or suspect bizzare, horrifying, and radical things and are raising children to thier standard of intellectual dis-inhibition.  We can be stopped but it's unlikely anyone with the authority and power to do so would notice us.  But that's neither here nor there, and you only asked me an innocent question.  As you were, fleshbag.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: on January 26, 2007, 07:38:27 AM
I'm a nauseated no-nonsense werewolf reporter with a bag of tricks that doesn't take 'No' for an answer...

WE FIGHT CRIME.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on January 26, 2007, 08:05:01 AM
I'm the kind of person someone like you could barely imagine and, if you did, it'd keep you awake at night.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Sepia on January 26, 2007, 09:31:13 AM
I always paraphrase the white flame stuff from Morrison's Invisibles if I want to pick a fight/the persona appear to be of a comprehension level that will make it possible to pick a fight.

http://barbelith.com/topic/9734
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: hunter s.durden on January 26, 2007, 02:16:22 PM
I am a collection of impressions built up in your mind.

Any other answer is a waste of breath.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: LMNO on January 26, 2007, 02:20:33 PM
I am Jack's deluded ego.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: hunter s.durden on January 26, 2007, 02:26:26 PM
srsly.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: DJRubberducky on January 26, 2007, 03:36:47 PM
I'm me.  Now, if you want to actually get to know me, start asking more specific questions.  But if all you want is to come up with a one-word caption for your mental image of me, then just walk away now.  If that's all I'm worth to you effort-wise, I'd rather not bother.  You and I both have better uses of our hearts and minds.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: AFK on January 26, 2007, 03:43:48 PM
That's one of those ice-breaker questions I often encounter in the various seminars I've been to.  It's a pretty silly question honestly.  Someone who is going to spend a lot of time around you is going to find our who you are.  People who aren't shouldn't worry about it too much.  Of course this forum thing is another animal alltogether.  I have to admit I occassionally think about how we would all see each other in person vs. our images and perceptions in the ananonymity of Tubeworld.  I think I present a personality on these forums that is a part of me, but not all of me.  The thoughts and philosophies I share, are indeed my own.  But there are parts of our personalities that cannot, and I would argue should not, be translated over cyberspace. 
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on January 26, 2007, 04:27:44 PM
I love the internets cos you have a greater degree of editorial control over the image you project. None of you guys know 'me' you know the bastardised alterego I call SillyCybin. Silly gets to spend an hour coming up with comments that would take 10 secs in real time. That's why Silly always has a snappy comeback. IRL I'm still quite a mindfuck but online I'm a fucking god, made in my own image. Damn near everything I say about my life is true but, since you don't know that, it really doesn't matter if I'm honest or not, so I can lie about opinions, exaggerate and composite events. My audience of peers may believe or disbelieve anything I say, as long as they laugh Silly is a happy puppy. Trying to make people believe things is bullshit anyway - I'm in it for the lulz.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: hunter s.durden on January 26, 2007, 05:12:47 PM
So you can't shoot flames from your hands?

Fuck this place.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on January 26, 2007, 05:42:30 PM
Actually I can but farting half the national anthem is way beyond me. If anyone ever releases a song that's nothing but a 2 second fart, however, I'm on it.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Mangrove on January 26, 2007, 06:10:31 PM
when i'm not busy typing on the internet.....i'm a black labrador retriever.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: LMNO on January 26, 2007, 06:13:49 PM
Son of Sam, is that YUO?
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: AFK on January 26, 2007, 06:16:38 PM
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xvii on January 26, 2007, 06:10:31 PM
when i'm not busy typing on the internet.....i'm a black labrador retriever.

and you wonder why the cat hates you.   :lol:
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Mangrove on January 26, 2007, 06:17:44 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 26, 2007, 06:16:38 PM
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xvii on January 26, 2007, 06:10:31 PM
when i'm not busy typing on the internet.....i'm a black labrador retriever.

and you wonder why the cat hates you.   :lol:

:-D  yeah...i should've seen that coming actually....
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Jasper on January 26, 2007, 06:55:38 PM
I know it's foolish to try and define myself in that way, but I like to as a practice in perspective.  Also, it makes me lail to think of the reaction that kind of windy and unexpected response would get.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: AFK on January 26, 2007, 07:33:19 PM
That's what makes it perfect really.  Someone asks you a question like that they are probably expecting metaphors and similies.  A factual description like that probably would throw a great many questioners for a loop. 
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: LMNO on January 26, 2007, 07:34:34 PM
I'm a streetwalkin' cheetah with a heart full of napalm.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Cain on January 26, 2007, 07:50:02 PM
My name is Cain.

Pay strict attention to what I say, because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself. I told you my name, thats the who.

The where could most readily be described as a prison cell, but there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell, and being in a prison.

The what is easy. Recently I planned and set into motion events to execute the perfect troll. Thats also the when.

As for the why, beyond that obvious lulz motivation, is exceedingly simple. Because I can.

Which only leaves us with the how. And therein, as the Bard will tell us, lies the rub....
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Jasper on January 26, 2007, 07:59:49 PM
Dammit, the more I read your posts next to the V avatar the more your shakespeare looks obvious and charming.

Argh.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Cain on January 26, 2007, 08:05:08 PM
 :thanks:

Obviously, thats not my real introduction, but its what goes on my Myspace profile.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Jasper on January 26, 2007, 08:09:02 PM
And the interplay of poetic dialogue and PD-babble is perfect.

Just saying.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Cain on January 26, 2007, 08:11:02 PM
I actually stole it from the intro of Inside Man and changed it with the PD psycho babble.  Though the cell bit works strangely well, considering....
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Suu on January 26, 2007, 08:42:10 PM
I am really an aux of TGRR.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on January 26, 2007, 09:12:43 PM
Quote from: kaousuu on January 26, 2007, 08:42:10 PM
I am really an aux of TGRR.

Liek soooo yesterdays news!
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Suu on January 26, 2007, 09:16:31 PM
Was it the 40 year old fat man reference or the general anger that gave it away?
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on January 26, 2007, 09:23:02 PM
Quote from: kaousuu on January 26, 2007, 09:16:31 PM
Was it the 40 year old fat man reference or the general anger that gave it away?

Was the fact that I'm a alt of tgrr too so I know everything you know.
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: Jasper on January 26, 2007, 09:47:18 PM
I wonder if he gets tired of being idolized.

Prolly not, though. Slack, etc
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2007, 06:56:26 AM
Quote from: Felix Mackay on January 26, 2007, 07:32:07 AM
I always want to answer the best I can when people ask retarded, obvious questions they don't care to have answered.

I'm a twenty year old aspiring computer genius participating in a fringe revolution.  I work in a mentally disabled home and sell plasma to earn money to meet the woman of my dreams.  I'm slightly addicted to energy supplements like coffee and adrenal support tonic.  I try to be nice to people on generous principle, but I'm vain, grandiose, and overoptimistic.  I hang out on the internet almost all the time, with people who believe or suspect bizzare, horrifying, and radical things and are raising children to thier standard of intellectual dis-inhibition.  We can be stopped but it's unlikely anyone with the authority and power to do so would notice us.  But that's neither here nor there, and you only asked me an innocent question.  As you were, fleshbag.

TGRR's Answer:  "Your KING, you fucking peasant.  Now, fuck off!"
Title: Re: Someone asks me, "who are you"?
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 27, 2007, 06:56:57 AM
Quote from: kaousuu on January 26, 2007, 08:42:10 PM
I am really an aux of TGRR.

But the bastard will never admit it.