News:

Testimonial: "I cannot see a slither of a viable defense for this godawful circlejerk board."

Main Menu

Someone asks me, "who are you"?

Started by Jasper, January 26, 2007, 07:32:07 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Jasper

I always want to answer the best I can when people ask retarded, obvious questions they don't care to have answered.

I'm a twenty year old aspiring computer genius participating in a fringe revolution.  I work in a mentally disabled home and sell plasma to earn money to meet the woman of my dreams.  I'm slightly addicted to energy supplements like coffee and adrenal support tonic.  I try to be nice to people on generous principle, but I'm vain, grandiose, and overoptimistic.  I hang out on the internet almost all the time, with people who believe or suspect bizzare, horrifying, and radical things and are raising children to thier standard of intellectual dis-inhibition.  We can be stopped but it's unlikely anyone with the authority and power to do so would notice us.  But that's neither here nor there, and you only asked me an innocent question.  As you were, fleshbag.

I'm a nauseated no-nonsense werewolf reporter with a bag of tricks that doesn't take 'No' for an answer...

WE FIGHT CRIME.

P3nT4gR4m

I'm the kind of person someone like you could barely imagine and, if you did, it'd keep you awake at night.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Sepia

I always paraphrase the white flame stuff from Morrison's Invisibles if I want to pick a fight/the persona appear to be of a comprehension level that will make it possible to pick a fight.

http://barbelith.com/topic/9734
Everyone will always be too late

hunter s.durden

I am a collection of impressions built up in your mind.

Any other answer is a waste of breath.
This space for rent.

LMNO


hunter s.durden

This space for rent.

DJRubberducky

I'm me.  Now, if you want to actually get to know me, start asking more specific questions.  But if all you want is to come up with a one-word caption for your mental image of me, then just walk away now.  If that's all I'm worth to you effort-wise, I'd rather not bother.  You and I both have better uses of our hearts and minds.
- DJRubberducky
Quote from: LMNODJ's post is sort of like those pills you drop into a glass of water, and they expand into a dinosaur, or something.

Black sheep are still sheep.

AFK

That's one of those ice-breaker questions I often encounter in the various seminars I've been to.  It's a pretty silly question honestly.  Someone who is going to spend a lot of time around you is going to find our who you are.  People who aren't shouldn't worry about it too much.  Of course this forum thing is another animal alltogether.  I have to admit I occassionally think about how we would all see each other in person vs. our images and perceptions in the ananonymity of Tubeworld.  I think I present a personality on these forums that is a part of me, but not all of me.  The thoughts and philosophies I share, are indeed my own.  But there are parts of our personalities that cannot, and I would argue should not, be translated over cyberspace. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

P3nT4gR4m

I love the internets cos you have a greater degree of editorial control over the image you project. None of you guys know 'me' you know the bastardised alterego I call SillyCybin. Silly gets to spend an hour coming up with comments that would take 10 secs in real time. That's why Silly always has a snappy comeback. IRL I'm still quite a mindfuck but online I'm a fucking god, made in my own image. Damn near everything I say about my life is true but, since you don't know that, it really doesn't matter if I'm honest or not, so I can lie about opinions, exaggerate and composite events. My audience of peers may believe or disbelieve anything I say, as long as they laugh Silly is a happy puppy. Trying to make people believe things is bullshit anyway - I'm in it for the lulz.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

hunter s.durden

So you can't shoot flames from your hands?

Fuck this place.
This space for rent.

P3nT4gR4m

Actually I can but farting half the national anthem is way beyond me. If anyone ever releases a song that's nothing but a 2 second fart, however, I'm on it.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mangrove

when i'm not busy typing on the internet.....i'm a black labrador retriever.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

LMNO


AFK

Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xvii on January 26, 2007, 06:10:31 PM
when i'm not busy typing on the internet.....i'm a black labrador retriever.

and you wonder why the cat hates you.   :lol:
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.