Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:12:04 PM

Title: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:12:04 PM
Ok, because I'm way too lazy, I have an idea for any of you aspiring authors out there.

It came to me in a dream (and yes, i actually dream like this).

Jesus made Peter the first Pope.  And Peter's goal was to bring about the second coming of Christ.

Also, since Peter was not Christ, he was the first false prophet.

Simply put: The Catholic Church is the actual Antichrist of Revelations, actively trying to bring about Armageddon.  The Crusades, the tacit acceptence of Hitler, all these things were an attempt to bring about the destruction of the earth. 

Selective SSOOKN tricks can link Revelations to the history of the Catholic Church.

The plot being, basically, the protagonist finding all of this out while on the run from Evil Antichrist Nuns and eventually trying to kill the pope.  Naturally, "evidence" of this horrible truth will be found along the way.




Waddaya thinK?
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 17, 2007, 07:14:52 PM
Isn't this basically the argument of the American religious right?  I'm pretty sure in the Left Behind series, the Anti-Christ has something to do with the Pope...
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: hunter s.durden on April 17, 2007, 07:14:59 PM
I had a dream that I was a walk-on Fullback for WVU.

You know, Jack T. Chick already has tracts related to this.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:16:52 PM
Quote from: Cain on April 17, 2007, 07:14:52 PM
Isn't this basically the argument of the American religious right?  I'm pretty sure in the Left Behind series, the Anti-Christ has something to do with the Pope...


Dang.  I guess it's not that original, after all.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: hunter s.durden on April 17, 2007, 07:23:22 PM
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0074/0074_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0074/0074_01.asp)

See, Chick enlightened me!
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: PopeTom on April 17, 2007, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:12:04 PM
The plot being, basically, the protagonist finding all of this out while on the run from Evil Antichrist Nuns and eventually trying to kill the pope.  Naturally, "evidence" of this horrible truth will be found along the way.

Will the nuns be lesbian nuns?
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 17, 2007, 07:25:31 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on April 17, 2007, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:12:04 PM
The plot being, basically, the protagonist finding all of this out while on the run from Evil Antichrist Nuns and eventually trying to kill the pope.  Naturally, "evidence" of this horrible truth will be found along the way.

Will the nuns be lesbian nuns?

Hell yeah! Hideous old ugly decrepit ones with no teeth and way too much facial hair.

nuff to put you off 3 in a bed romps for life
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:26:31 PM
No, just one or two teeth.


For teh scraping.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 17, 2007, 07:27:31 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on April 17, 2007, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:12:04 PM
The plot being, basically, the protagonist finding all of this out while on the run from Evil Antichrist Nuns and eventually trying to kill the pope.  Naturally, "evidence" of this horrible truth will be found along the way.

Will the nuns be lesbian nuns?

Didn't Casanova do a pair of lesbian (well, bisexual) nuns once?

There is a reason this man is my hero.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 17, 2007, 07:29:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:26:31 PM
No, just one or two teeth.


For teh scraping.

true story - once lived with a chick like that
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: hunter s.durden on April 17, 2007, 07:33:11 PM
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp)

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Mangrove on April 20, 2007, 06:49:49 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 17, 2007, 07:12:04 PM
Ok, because I'm way too lazy, I have an idea for any of you aspiring authors out there.

It came to me in a dream (and yes, i actually dream like this).

Jesus made Peter the first Pope.  And Peter's goal was to bring about the second coming of Christ.

Also, since Peter was not Christ, he was the first false prophet.

Simply put: The Catholic Church is the actual Antichrist of Revelations, actively trying to bring about Armageddon.  The Crusades, the tacit acceptence of Hitler, all these things were an attempt to bring about the destruction of the earth. 

Selective SSOOKN tricks can link Revelations to the history of the Catholic Church.

The plot being, basically, the protagonist finding all of this out while on the run from Evil Antichrist Nuns and eventually trying to kill the pope.  Naturally, "evidence" of this horrible truth will be found along the way.




Waddaya thinK?

it's a dream of mine to know that dan brown was writing a novel based on bullshit he gleaned from SSOOKN.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: LMNO on April 20, 2007, 07:28:07 PM
We better get to work, then.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Mangrove on April 24, 2007, 12:54:46 AM
maybe the solution is to suggest that the pope's abolition of 'limbo' and other attempts at modernizing church doctrine is merely a smokescreen for something far more sinister?

i mean, the idea that the vatican would revise their idiology because it seemed archaic, mean and pointless just doesn't make any sense!

cue conspiracy ---->
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Mangrove on April 30, 2007, 05:06:42 PM
the rumour on the street is that Brown's new book is about US Masons and the design of Washington DC.

Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 30, 2007, 05:08:14 PM
OFUK

:argh!:

Can we convince Umberto Eco to start writing conspiracy books again?
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Mangrove on April 30, 2007, 05:34:56 PM
Dan Brown's new book:

Scooby Doo adventure + Closertogod.com research + Washington DC = NY Times bestseller list.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: LMNO on April 30, 2007, 05:36:22 PM
"I would have gotten away with the federal banking system too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!"
\
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/kiyone/waynesworld-yousnoopingkids.jpg)
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 30, 2007, 05:37:08 PM
Fact: every single person on this board, ever, even cat~maxwell, could write better than Dan Brown, and with a more interesting plot.  Fuck me, I already had the plot down pat 2 pages into the Da Vinci Code.  And 5 in Angels and Demons.  He must have gone to the Colin Forbes school of Plots By Numbers.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: LMNO on April 30, 2007, 05:38:55 PM
But OMFG, teh Christ had a child, and it's Amelie!

"This is not a spoon!"
\
(http://www.insidefilm.com/images/amelie.jpg)
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 30, 2007, 05:41:11 PM
Its worse than that.  So fucking obvious there was going to be an attractive female language expert (or whatever she was) who was single and tough as nails around the cops, but whose heart would be melted by the hero....I mean jeez, nothing makes up for that kind of writing, except large doses of irony.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 30, 2007, 05:41:39 PM
Did I say irony?  I mean cyanide.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Mangrove on April 30, 2007, 05:41:41 PM
LOL Amelie.

Bad news for Dan Brown:

DNA testing on the remains of the Merovingians in France showed.....wait for it............no traces of middle eastern DNA.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on April 30, 2007, 05:42:33 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on April 30, 2007, 05:41:41 PM
LOL Amelie.

Bad news for Dan Brown:

DNA testing on the remains of the Merovingians in France showed.....wait for it............no traces of middle eastern DNA.

Worse.  Letters by its Grand Master, Pierre Plantard, prove it to be fake.  Documents also prove Plantard's claim to aristocracy are falsified.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 03, 2007, 10:32:47 AM
I agree brown is unreadable but, because of his work and the subsequent filmatisation there are now a bunch more people who know about the council of Nicaea and how much of a pile of - not even vaguely historical - gash and drivel the bible actually is.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Any ammo against cult of the zombie basilisk is good ammo
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Dr. Cow Ass on May 05, 2007, 04:40:07 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on April 17, 2007, 07:33:11 PM
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp)

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112

The Roman Church was also the mother of all forms of Christianity since Martin Luther broke away form the church along w/ that one english king who started the englican church. So if the church was fucked from the beggining then ALL christanity is fucked.

I,of course, do not believe this because if I did, I'd go strait to hell along with Hitler, the jews, and of course, the gays.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Idem on May 05, 2007, 06:12:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. Cow Ass on May 05, 2007, 04:40:07 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on April 17, 2007, 07:33:11 PM
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp)

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112

The Roman Church was also the mother of all forms of Christianity since Martin Luther broke away form the church along w/ that one english king who started the englican church. So if the church was fucked from the beggining then ALL christanity is fucked.

I,of course, do not believe this because if I did, I'd go strait to hell along with Hitler, the jews, and of course, the gays.
...And the black peoples?
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Cain on May 05, 2007, 12:54:38 PM
Quote from: Dr. Cow Ass on May 05, 2007, 04:40:07 AM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on April 17, 2007, 07:33:11 PM
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp)

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112

The Roman Church was also the mother of all forms of Christianity since Martin Luther broke away form the church along w/ that one english king who started the englican church. So if the church was fucked from the beggining then ALL christanity is fucked.

Wrong.  Unless the Orthodox churches, Gnostics, Coptics, and multitude of cults that flourished before the Catholic's secured power over Rome don't count for some reason.
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 07, 2007, 04:54:10 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on April 24, 2007, 12:54:46 AM
maybe the solution is to suggest that the pope's abolition of 'limbo' and other attempts at modernizing church doctrine is merely a smokescreen for something far more sinister?

:eek: ZOMG CELESTIAL PEDOPHILES!!!1
Title: Re: An idea to sell Dan Brown.
Post by: Suu on May 11, 2007, 08:50:15 PM
Wouldn't surprise me. There's all sorts of symbolism scattered about that city (DC). I have to admit, although works of fiction, his books are pretty damn entertaining and I did actually learn from them...Even though my uber-Catholic Aunt considers me a heretic now for owning his books.

...And LMNO's plot almost reminds me of The Order and that unfinished sub-plot with the anti-pope. That movie would have been decent if they closed up the 200 some odd plot holes and didn't reunite the cast of A Knight's Tale.