Codename V's real rant.
Obviously this was not written by me, and all applause etc should be directed at Alan Moore etc That said, its still much better than the washed down, "freedumb!" version in the film, though even a cursory read shows why it was not used. Its precisely for those reasons I prefer it. So here is the transcript taken from the comic, presented in full.
Good evening, London. I thought it time we had a little chat. Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I'll begin.
I suppose you're wondering why I've called you here this evening. Well, you see, I'm not entirely satisfied with your performance lately...I'm afraid your work has been slipping, and...and, well, I'm afraid we've been thinking about letting you go.
Oh, I know, you've been with the company a long time now. Almost...let me see. Almost ten thousand years! My word, doesn't time fly? It only seems like yesterday...I remember the day you commenced your employment, swinging down from the trees, fresh faced and nervous, a bone clasped in your bristling fist.
(http://www.worth1000.com/web/media/18626/Chimp.jpg)
"Where do I start sir?", you asked, plaintively. I recall my exact words: ,"there's a pile of dinosaur eggs over there, youngster,", I said, smiling paternally the while. "Get sucking."
Well, we've certainly come a long way since then, haven't we? And yes, yes, you're right, in all that time, you haven't missed a day.
Well done, thou good and faithful servant.
Also, don't think I have forgotten your outstanding service record, or about all the invaluable contributions you've made to the company. Fire, the wheel, agriculture...it's an impressive list, old-timer. A jolly impressive list, don't get me wrong.
(http://pirlwww.lpl.arizona.edu/~jscotti/NOT_faked/nasa3.gif)
But...well, to be frank, we've had our problems too. There is no getting away from it. Do you know what I think a lot of it stems from? I'll tell you...it's from your basic unwillingness to get along within the company. You don't seem to want to face up to any real responsibility, or be your own boss. Lord knows, you've been given plenty of opportunities...
We've offered you promotion, time and time again, and each time you've turned us down. "I couldn't handle the work, guv'nor," you wheedled. "I know my place." To be frank, you aren't even trying. You see, you've been standing still for far too long, and its starting to show in your work...and, might I add, in your general standard of behaviour.
(http://cache.kotaku.com/gaming/images/serf.jpg)
The constant bickering on the factory floor has not escaped my attention...nor the recent bout of rowdiness in the staff canteen. Then of course, there's...hmm, well, I didn't really want to have to bring this up, but...well, I've been hearing some disturbing rumours about your personal life. No, never mind who told me. No names, no pack drill...
(http://www.prague-life.com/media/pics/prague-spring.jpg)
That I hear you are unable to get on with your spouse. I hear that you argue. I am told that you shout. Violence has been mentioned. I am reliably informed that you hurt the one you love...the one you shouldn't hurt at all.
And what about the children? It's always the children who suffer, as you're well aware. Poor little mites. What are they to make of it? What are they to make of your bullying, your despair, your cowardice and all your fondly nurtured bigotries?
Really it is not good enough, is it?
And its no good blaming the sudden drop in work standards upon bad management, either...though to be sure, the management is very bad. In fact, lets not mince words...the management is terrible! We've had a string of embezzlers, frauds, liars and lunatics making a string of catastrophic decisions. This is plain fact.
(http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/stalin/photo/s1936a.gif) (http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/images/hitler1.jpg) (http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/china/images/mao-zedong-3.jpg)
But who elected them?
It was you! You who appointed these people! You who gave them the power to make decisions for you! While I'll admit that anyone can make a mistake once, to go on making the same lethal errors century after century seems nothing short of deliberate.
You have encouraged these malicious incompetents who have made your working lives a shambles. You have accepted without question their senseless orders. You have allowed them to fill your workplace with dangerous and untested machines.
(http://www.mphpa.org/classic/COLLECTIONS/CG-JPAP/Images-800x1200/CGP-JPAP-034.jpg)
You could have stopped them.
All you had to say was "no". You have no spine. No pride. You are no longer an asset to the company. I will, however, be generous. You will be granted two years to show some improvement in your work. If at the end of that time you are still unwilling to make a go of it...
You're fired.
That is all. You may return to your labours. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
(http://www.masternewmedia.org/news/images/static_snow_2_by_arkine.jpg)
- Edited to unfuck the quotation mark problems caused by the server change a few years back - Roger
not the first time I've read it, but still terribly awsome for all that.
although I sorta lose the metaphor around the "spouse" bit.
I'm glad you threw this up.
I really worry that Alan Moore will be thrown into history's dustbin, because he writes "funny books" instead of novels.
How that movie, even as watered down as it was, wasn't touted as a masterpiece, is beyond me. It said more than "highly acclaimed" movies like Brokeback Mountain or Sleepless in Seattle.
I'll put V and Watchmen up against anything Dostoyevsky or Joyce wrote.
fuck yeah.
also, ITT Hugh is busted for plagiarizing his "America, you're fired!" rant, posted after the 2004 elections.
Loved that movie, love the graphic novels more. Tell me there's gonna be some serious trolling activity on November 5???
Avatar
what's happening on nov 5th?
It's the anniversary of Guy Fawkes trying to blow up parliament, and a pivotal date in V for Vendetta.
When the IRA blew up the brighton hotel I lolled
Srsly - splodeying the government is ftw
that fully convinced me to find and read the comic book...
Im not much of a comic reader though, unless its the peanuts
V is brilliant, as is Watchmen.
Basically, anything Alan Moore does is solid gold. He is amazing.
If I remember, I will upload my MP3 of Warren Ellis talking about having a phone conversation with Alan Moore. It is solid lol.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 15, 2007, 03:49:53 PM
I'm glad you threw this up.
I really worry that Alan Moore will be thrown into history's dustbin, because he writes "funny books" instead of novels.
How that movie, even as watered down as it was, wasn't touted as a masterpiece, is beyond me. It said more than "highly acclaimed" movies like Brokeback Mountain or Sleepless in Seattle.
I'll put V and Watchmen up against anything Dostoyevsky or Joyce wrote.
Hollywood shouldn't mine his works so quickly. Couldnt they at least wait for the bastard to die?
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 15, 2007, 03:49:53 PM
I'll put V and Watchmen up against anything Dostoyevsky or Joyce wrote.
Hold up.
Miller might be the better word-crafter, but he has always been fairly black and white. Even though V was supposed to be an anti-hero, you knew he was working for the forces of Good against the facist Evil.
Sin City is another example. Even Marv, the self-admitted psychotic killer, is no more morally depraved than Russel Crowe's character in Gladiator.
While Miller's stories might be more enjoyable, Dostoyevsky's characters were much more nuanced, and promoted much more internal speculation over motivation and psychology.
LMNO
-Puts up blast shields.
First off, V and Watchmen are Alan Moore, not Frank Miller. :p
V is fairly good-and-evil, yes.
However, I think there's a lot of questionable characters in Watchmen, with a lot of depth and nuance. I don't necessarily think I'd put his stuff up against Dostoevsky, but this might be because Crime & Punishment is one of my favorite books of ever. I DO think that Watchmen is amazing literature that does get somewhat passed over because it's a comic.
However, bottom line, it is harder to convey the same sort of intensity in a comic that you can in something the size of Crime & Punishment. It is possible to REALLY get into Raskolnikov's head throughout the book because of the medium. It is harder to get that in comics, simply because the amount of text you can use is limited and it's harder to focus on simply the psychological state because there's not a lot of imagery to go alongside it.
So I think, in a way, we're getting into apples and oranges here.
Watchmen is great fuckin' literature. But it can't be compared to Dostoevsky or Joyce because they're just not the same thing.
V is unquestionably one of the greatest inventions of fiction - a true anarchist, iconoclast and remorseless bastard. Must also confess that Dostoevsky bored the very arse off me.
I got my copy of V signed by Alan Moore... he lives three streets away from me. *Ahem*
Name-drop :lulz:
I actually liked Dostoevsky too. Early on in the books, to be sure, they can seem boring, but it usually works its way up into something quite extraordinary. Should have written an autobiography though. His real life was incredibly fascinating.
Moore must be doing alright these days as well, I suspect. V, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Watchmen in the works.
I reckon the Watchmen film is one of those apocryphal, intractable projects which everyone likes but which is almost impossible to make - it'd have to be a four-hour marathon to do justice to the story. Mind you, the same criticism was leveled at LOTR, which I rather liked...
But who'd play Rorschach?
Quote from: Cain on August 05, 2007, 11:50:42 AM
I actually liked Dostoevsky too. Early on in the books, to be sure, they can seem boring, but it usually works its way up into something quite extraordinary. Should have written an autobiography though. His real life was incredibly fascinating.
Moore must be doing alright these days as well, I suspect. V, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Watchmen in the works.
At least for "V", I seem to remember that Moore didn't want anything to do with the movie and didn't recieve any royalties. He's not even credited I think. Compared to "League", "V" was actually pretty faithful, so it seems likely the same goes for it.
He's a really productive guy though, so I don't think he's exactly starving.
I actually hope they won't film Watchmen. It's just too good to be messed up.
I heard he didn't like some of the changes to V, but I would have presumed he did well from the film. If not, at least the renewed interests mean his actual works are doing well.
As for Watchmen, Clive Owen could pull it off, I reckon. He plays amoral and cunning quite well.
Quote from: LMNO on July 30, 2007, 05:14:22 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on July 15, 2007, 03:49:53 PM
I'll put V and Watchmen up against anything Dostoyevsky or Joyce wrote.
Hold up.
Miller might be the better word-crafter, but he has always been fairly black and white. Even though V was supposed to be an anti-hero, you knew he was working for the forces of Good against the facist Evil.
Sin City is another example. Even Marv, the self-admitted psychotic killer, is no more morally depraved than Russel Crowe's character in Gladiator.
While Miller's stories might be more enjoyable, Dostoyevsky's characters were much more nuanced, and promoted much more internal speculation over motivation and psychology.
LMNO
-Puts up blast shields.
*sigh*
QuoteTogether, with his wife and their lover, the three of them set up their own comic books company, "Mad Love Publishing", in 1989. Unfortunately things did not go to plan; Mad Love Publishing suffered several unforeseeable setbacks, and Phyllis and Deborah left Moore to live together, with his two children.
:lulz:
I really don't like the initial script I have seen for the watchmen, a lot of the key parts of the ending are changed.
I really wish Darren Aronofsky had gone ahead and started making it David Bowie as Doc Manhattan.
They changed the fucking ending?\
Hollywood must really have it in for Allen Moore.
They didn't just change the ending - they RAPED the ending. I thought the movie (before I read the original) was pretty good other than the horrible ending that seemingly ignored the rest of the movie's message. Then I read the original, and was APPALLED at how badly they fucked the ending that was in the book. Had the Wachowski brothers just used the ending from the book it would have been great - but Nooooooo ... they just HAD to fuck it up.
:tgrr:
Quote from: That One Guy on August 08, 2007, 08:48:53 PM
They didn't just change the ending - they RAPED the ending. I thought the movie (before I read the original) was pretty good other than the horrible ending that seemingly ignored the rest of the movie's message. Then I read the original, and was APPALLED at how badly they fucked the ending that was in the book. Had the Wachowski brothers just used the ending from the book it would have been great - but Nooooooo ... they just HAD to fuck it up.
:tgrr:
They had to make it warm and fuzzy and appropriate for the Amurrican public who wants a happy ending.
Also, Natalie Portman's British accent. Talk about butchering... :lol:
I don't consider that a warm and fuzzy ending
also: I don't consider V a hero. He rules, but he's certainly not a "good guy"
Quote from: That One Guy on August 08, 2007, 08:48:53 PM
They didn't just change the ending - they RAPED the ending. I thought the movie (before I read the original) was pretty good other than the horrible ending that seemingly ignored the rest of the movie's message. Then I read the original, and was APPALLED at how badly they fucked the ending that was in the book. Had the Wachowski brothers just used the ending from the book it would have been great - but Nooooooo ... they just HAD to fuck it up.
:tgrr:
hah, oh my. I did not find the V ending that bad other then all the faces, you REALLY wont like the changes t the watchmen.
The faces did add a certain je ne sais quois to the ending.
I shat myself.
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on August 08, 2007, 08:57:32 PM
I don't consider that a warm and fuzzy ending
also: I don't consider V a hero. He rules, but he's certainly not a "good guy"
It was warmer and fuzzier than the comic, where he dies in an alleyway fighting a man who dislikes the government almost as much as him.
Quote from: Cain on August 09, 2007, 10:55:48 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on August 08, 2007, 08:57:32 PM
I don't consider that a warm and fuzzy ending
also: I don't consider V a hero. He rules, but he's certainly not a "good guy"
It was warmer and fuzzier than the comic, where he dies in an alleyway fighting a man who dislikes the government almost as much as him.
Swarms of British folk are deeply moved by V's message. They all put on their matching outfits (wait, the revolution has a fuckin'
uniform?!) and attack The Bad Guys.
I call that a rather warm fuzzy version compared to the comic, as Cain has already clarified.
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on August 08, 2007, 08:56:26 PM
They had to make it warm and fuzzy and appropriate for the Amurrican public who wants a happy ending.
That reminds me of the american ending for "Brazil"... :D
Quote from: nurbldoff on August 10, 2007, 10:59:45 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on August 08, 2007, 08:56:26 PM
They had to make it warm and fuzzy and appropriate for the Amurrican public who wants a happy ending.
That reminds me of the american ending for "Brazil"... :D
what D:
Quote from: nurbldoff on August 10, 2007, 10:59:45 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on August 08, 2007, 08:56:26 PM
They had to make it warm and fuzzy and appropriate for the Amurrican public who wants a happy ending.
That reminds me of the american ending for "Brazil"... :D
Wait a tic, how the hell was the ending to Brazil warm, fuzzy, or appropriate?
(Or did I get the UK version?)
In all likelihood, yes, but according to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088846/trivia (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088846/trivia), there's a different version too. Probably (hopefully) never shown in cinemas though. Seems it ends a little earlier... :cry:
There is a point in that movie, where it seems like a logical place for an ending, but its not the end.
They probably just cut it there.
Quote from: Cain on August 09, 2007, 10:55:48 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on August 08, 2007, 08:57:32 PM
I don't consider that a warm and fuzzy ending
also: I don't consider V a hero. He rules, but he's certainly not a "good guy"
It was warmer and fuzzier than the comic, where he dies in an alleyway fighting a man who dislikes the government almost as much as him.
Thanks for the spoiler :roll:
:lulz:
COMIX!
Moore said no to any and all money/royalties offered him from the butchering of his scripts from written words to teaspoonmovies. In the case of V for Vendetta, he wanted the money dispersed between the artists and I recall reading an interview with him where he stated that the movie had "plot holes one could throw nukes through". As far as I know, he's doing okay in the way that he doesn't have to write for marvel/dc anymore and currently only selfpublishes or publishes through his wife's press or Avatar Press, rumored for giving him, warren ellis and grant morrison the freedom they want.
Moore writes a lot of crap too but his crap is still better than the run of the mill bestsellers from any genres. From Hell, Promethea, V for Vendetta, Swamp Thing and Watchmen are darned important works in the post-superhero world, like Millers DK&DK2 were. Where Miller is political though, Moore is highly spiritual and religious, worshipping a snakegod named glycon or something similar.
All of the movies based on Moores work are lacking in most senses, those transcribing have little to no clue as to the message in the comics or haven't been able to cram it inside 90 minutes. The League and V are the 'easiest' of the lot while From Hell is perhaps the most retarded adaptation ever produced. They didn't really need to use the book as a basis for that movie.
Phew.
Oddly enough, From Hell is probably my favorite... but the Hughes brothers pretty much said they had to chop up the comic to make it work as a movie. Still, its much better than V for Vendetta or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Anyway they're going to butcher the Watchmen hardcore, because the only way not to would be to make it at least three hours long and dry as fuck. That shit would not sell and thats they've got a bottom line. Of course, it doesn't help that nobody working on the project is worth a shit anyway. Mark my words, this one will be the worst one yet.
The From Hell movie was horrifically ridiculous, from Depp's ponce of a detective to Heather Grahm's accent to Ian Holme's campy melodrama, to one of the main points of the whole fucking book being missed: That the Ripper murders were to give birth to the new century.
ITT: LMNO and I agree on pop-culture for once!!!!!!!!!!111
From Hell blew.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on September 24, 2007, 04:04:40 PM
ITT: LMNO and I agree on pop-culture for once!!!!!!!!!!111
From Hell blew.
[consistency]
Fuck you, Hunter.
[/consistency]
Bump
I didnt like the ending to the V movie.
The whole brigade of masks kind of took away a lot from Eveys character and the fact that she was supposed to be his successor.
All the torture and stuff he did to her made sense in the context of him trying to groom her to take his place, but in the film it seemed kind of pointless.
Also, the whole false flag bullshit really took away from the movie for me.