spontaneously invented this one last night. do not try in the presence of young children. :x
INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 pounds fresh asparagus, trimmed and peeled
1 leek, sliced
6 cups water
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 onion, chopped
Salt to taste
DIRECTIONS
1. Gather the ingredient absentmindedly while doing other things. Start cooking late (you'll need the stress in step 5)
2. In a large stockpot, combine the water or stock, asparagus and separated leek greens. Heat over as quickly as possible (see step 1) then allow to simmer while you hastily prepare the rest of the ingredients.
3. In a medium saute pan, heat the butter and oil. Add the leek 'whites' and onion and cook until the onion begins to color (about 8 minutes). You may be too busy doing other things to notice when the time is right, but it shouldn't matter much. When you notice the onion is almost burning, add 1 cup of the warm stock and cook 10 more minutes.
4. Strain the stock of the asparagus and leek ends. Fill the pot with fresh water, heat as quickly as possible. Add the contents of the saute pan to the boiling water along with the asparagus middles and partially cover the pot. Cook 12 more minutes.
5. Transfer soup to a blender and puree. Take a pot cover and hold it down on the opening as tight as you can. When the pressure inside the blender causes the top to fly off and, turn off the blender and tend to your burns. Depending on their severity you may want to stop cooking and find medical attention as soon as possible.
6. Once your burns are under control, strain any puree remaining in the blender back into the stockpot. Add salt, microwave the soup if you were away so long that it's gotten cold. Serve the soup with bread. Take care to keep the hot soup away from your burns.
When all was said and done it *was* delicious. We originally planned to make this recipe (http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Asparagus-Soup-II/Detail.aspx) but we were too original to do that. And only I needed to go to the emergency room, my girlfriend was only mildly burned on one arm and her 3-year-old babysitee was thankfully unharmed.
-Verb,
sad but true
Asparagus can be peeled?
Anything can be peeled.
Sounds yummy.
I'm with Hoops on this one.
Who ever heard of peeling asparagus?
Next you'll be trying to tell us that your GF burned her coochie with hot butter while trying to do a home bikini wax job.
Well, the Germans told her to peel them, so she peeled them. Germans know their shit when it comes to asparagus!
Quote from: Verbatim on May 22, 2008, 11:14:59 PM
Germans know their shit
fixed for brevity and more basic troof.
I might peel it if I felt like practically pre-chewing for someone as a favor.
The skin does make asparagus hard to chew though, sometimes I look stupid trying.
perhaps you get different asparagus in the USA? but of course you peel them.
the outer layer is nearly like wooden strings sometimes.
depending on what kind though, i think you can eat the green asparagii without peeling.
Quote from: triple zero on May 23, 2008, 01:42:40 PM
perhaps you get different asparagus in the USA? but of course you peel them.
the outer layer is nearly like wooden strings sometimes.
We have this funny thing we do in North America called "cooking" and it tends to fix that problem.
I'm sure it will catch on in Europe when fire is invented there.
Eh, I occassionally peel or cut off the bottom of the asparagus stalks depending on how thick they are, as they stay a lot tougher than the rest of the stalk.
Only a dipshit wouldn't break the ends off... I just don't understand the peeling. It would be like peeling broccoli.
That's just what I assumed when he said peel (the bottoms). Wouldn't peel the whole thing.
Quote from: Hoopla on May 23, 2008, 03:01:30 PM
Only a dipshit wouldn't break the ends off... I just don't understand the peeling. It would be like peeling broccoli.
Which is just retarded, and leads to peeling all kinds of vegetables, like potatoes, carrots, onions... Ghastly thing, really.
Your sarcasm has no power here.
V - I'm glad you and your gf are ok!!
Depending on the size of the asparagus is kind of where the peel determination comes. When I get the large stalks I will cut the ends and sort of scrape along the stalks. This helps them cook a bit faster without ending up with the invariable chewy mush you get when. After they get so big, they have this stringy like outer coating.
I have only had to do this though with ones I have picked 'in the wild' so to speak. You will see them on the side of the road here in the country and those can get really stringy and tuff.
Another thing that will help with the tuff stringy issues is cooking in wine. If they are truly bad, I jus pickle them for salads, then they just fall apart!
Quote from: Hoopla on May 23, 2008, 07:06:25 PM
Your sarcasm has no power here.
It's the lowest form of humor, really.
My main point is that peeling veggies like asparagus is mostly done by really well paid chefs and people who love food.
I don't agree about sarcasm.
A lot of depth and subtlety can be hidden in sarcasm... I place it a lot higher than many other forms of humour.
I think shit or fart humour is the lowest. Or maybe Slapstick. I can't remember which form I placed lowest on the Circuits of Humour.
Quote from: Hoopla on May 23, 2008, 08:09:39 PM
I don't agree about sarcasm.
A lot of depth and subtlety can be hidden in sarcasm... I place it a lot higher than many other forms of humour.
I think shit or fart humour is the lowest. Or maybe Slapstick. I can't remember which form I placed lowest on the Circuits of Humour.
Anything can be layered with subtle meanings, but sarcasm itself takes no effort to employ.
Quote from: Felix on May 23, 2008, 08:30:09 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on May 23, 2008, 08:09:39 PM
I don't agree about sarcasm.
A lot of depth and subtlety can be hidden in sarcasm... I place it a lot higher than many other forms of humour.
I think shit or fart humour is the lowest. Or maybe Slapstick. I can't remember which form I placed lowest on the Circuits of Humour.
Anything can be layered with subtle meanings, but sarcasm itself takes no effort to employ.
I have to disagree Felix. Sarcasm takes a lot of effort to employ successfully. Otherwise it just sounds stupid.
I also agree that fart jokes are just the worst, except for maybe little kid jokes which they don't know how to tell and all it is is a half hour of suffering.
Sarcasm though, that takes talent and intelligence!!
Agreed.
Let's not pretend there is only one kind of sarcasm.
Noone ever heard of a talented sarcast.
Worth mentioning.
And if you say that sarcasm is a sign of genius, I won't even bother.
Meh. Arguing is essentially pointless.
We disagree.
Felix uses counter-argument!
It's super effective!!
Not always.
Get in the pokeball.
Pokeball?
That or half your money. Your choice.
There is a third choice: tiptoe quietly backwards out of this thread, and never check it again.
I'm goanna be
The very best
Like no one ever waaaaaas
To argue them is my real test
To refute them is my caaaaaause!
:hammer:
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (It's you and me)
I know its my destiny
PD COM!
Oh, you're my best friend
In a Black Iron Prisonnn!
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (A heart so true)
Our memes will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all
Gotta troll 'em all
Yeah
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Come with me the time is right
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (It's you and me)
I know its my destiny
PD COM!
Oh, you're my best friend
In a Black Iron Prisonnn!
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (A heart so true)
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all
Gotta troll 'em all
PD COM!
lol, the indiana jones themesong.
What?
I hate you all.
Quote from: Felix on May 23, 2008, 09:50:03 PM
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (It's you and me)
I know its my destiny
PD COM!
Oh, you're my best friend
In a Black Iron Prisonnn!
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (A heart so true)
Our memes will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all
Gotta troll 'em all
Yeah
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Come with me the time is right
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (It's you and me)
I know its my destiny
PD COM!
Oh, you're my best friend
In a Black Iron Prisonnn!
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all (A heart so true)
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
PD COM!
Gotta troll 'em all
Gotta troll 'em all
PD COM!
:mittens:
Your Humor-5 has magically healed my burns.
I AM CURED
Ah, to be understood.
:thanks:
I read the entire last two pages of this thread in a sarcastic tone of voice and it made it a much better read.
Asparagus soup is yum.
And fuck you all, fart jokes are the win.
Much better than sarcasm, at least.
I employ both. Ya gotta have variety in life.
Each has their place, for me.
sarcasm > other forms of humor
also, peeling asparagus is still retarded. If it needs to be peeled before you can eat it, you suck at picking out asparagus. thinner stalks FTW. and ALWAYS snap off the tough bottoms of the stalks. But hoops is 169% correct...peel asparagus and you might as well peel broccoli or celery or something. You have incisors for a reason.
ECH, I think the white asparagus you get here in Germany is different from the green asparagus I was more familiar with originally, which sounds like the same thing you're talking about. I cooked unpeeled white asparagus a while ago here and it was practically impossible to eat, the outer layer was really tough. But the green asparagus I knew and loved back home was always soft and supple and practically melted in my mouth.
that's what i said!!
and i dunno what the comparison with broccoli and celery is about because those vegetables are not nearly as wooden/stringy on the outside as a big white asparagus.
then, a statement like "you suck at picking out asparagus", is maybe relevant when picking ingredients for your restaurant where your customers only expect top-notch ingredients.
but when you start doing that for your day-to-day cooking i consider it similar to cutting off the crusts of white bread. sometimes useful, but often just a waste. i like the fact that i'm able to cook a good meal even with medium quality ingredients from cheaper supermarkets.
it's also one of the reasons i like making stews, because it allows you to use lower quality meat in a still delicious meal.
what do you suggest we do with those asparaguses you wouldn't pick out? feed them to the pigs? do what you like in your restaurant, i won't comment on that,
but saying that people suck because they won't throw a perfectly good asparagus to waste (as long as you're not above peeling them, apparently), really bugs me.
same about just using the flowers of broccoli and not the stems. good for if you wanna make fancy dinner, wasteful if it's your default way of cooking.
or Suu planning to throw away the fat+juices of her pork shoulder for tomorrow--i really hope i convinced her otherwise ...
Here we have this litre fat can that they won't stop filling up, even though we're trying to slim down. It's driving me mad.
Quote from: triple zero on May 25, 2008, 05:03:02 PM
that's what i said!!
and i dunno what the comparison with broccoli and celery is about because those vegetables are not nearly as wooden/stringy on the outside as a big white asparagus.
then, a statement like "you suck at picking out asparagus", is maybe relevant when picking ingredients for your restaurant where your customers only expect top-notch ingredients.
but when you start doing that for your day-to-day cooking i consider it similar to cutting off the crusts of white bread. sometimes useful, but often just a waste. i like the fact that i'm able to cook a good meal even with medium quality ingredients from cheaper supermarkets.
it's also one of the reasons i like making stews, because it allows you to use lower quality meat in a still delicious meal.
what do you suggest we do with those asparaguses you wouldn't pick out? feed them to the pigs? do what you like in your restaurant, i won't comment on that,
but saying that people suck because they won't throw a perfectly good asparagus to waste (as long as you're not above peeling them, apparently), really bugs me.
same about just using the flowers of broccoli and not the stems. good for if you wanna make fancy dinner, wasteful if it's your default way of cooking.
or Suu planning to throw away the fat+juices of her pork shoulder for tomorrow--i really hope i convinced her otherwise ...
:|
The white aspargus thingies is called "winter aspargus" in norway and I'll be damned if I've found any of them which can be made without peeling the outer layer. They are however dirt cheap, taste less than the greenies and can be gotten the year around.
The green aspargus thingies are only called aspargus and are only available from april untill september. I've been eating loads and loads of them lately as I've befriended a hippie grower who made too many and gave me a couple of kilos. These are soft, tender, don't need to be peeled as long as you cut away the lower bit which anyhow looks like an alien finger and I'm not eating something that looks like an alien finger.
Then again, I'm just one of those weirdos that think aspargus should only be eaten with scallops as an appetizer.
(Take 3 green aspargus (aspargi?), 1 scallop and a small but thick slice of bacon. Put the bacon on a silimat in your oven and let it sit there untill it's crispy. Fry the scallop in a hot pan with no oil but with a small fist of fresh cilantro (or coriander), take a different pan with some butter and oil (I have peanut on hand but anything that doesn't taste too much and has a high smoke point is a okay) and fry the aspargus lightly, about 1 minute tops, turning and coating them in the lovely fat all the way. Put the aspargus first on the plate, in the middle, sprinkle with parmesan or manchega, slap the scallop on top of that, and the bacon on top of that again and if you're feeling adventureous, add 3-4 raspberries. Eat.)
That sounds really weird, but I want to try it.
Hmm, plural of asparagus..
Asparagate matter?
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on May 25, 2008, 01:39:59 PM
sarcasm > other forms of humor
also, peeling asparagus is still retarded. If it needs to be peeled before you can eat it, you suck at picking out asparagus. thinner stalks FTW. and ALWAYS snap off the tough bottoms of the stalks. But hoops is 169% correct...peel asparagus and you might as well peel broccoli or celery or something. You have incisors for a reason.
Ok, I understand how to choose the better asparagus. They aren't always available. Also, I did mention the fact that we were picking them on the side of the road. I didn't mean at a vegetable stand. I mean they grow out of the ground on the side of the road. They get tuff. I'd rather eat peeled asparagus than no asparagus.
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on May 25, 2008, 01:39:59 PM
peel asparagus and you might as well peel broccoli or celery or something.
Don't you peel and eat the stems of broccoli? The woody layer is inedible, but if you peel it, the inside is good.
Quote from: Nigel on May 30, 2008, 03:19:45 AMQuote from: East Coast Hustle on May 25, 2008, 01:39:59 PMpeel asparagus and you might as well peel broccoli or celery or something.
Don't you peel and eat the stems of broccoli? The woody layer is inedible, but if you peel it, the inside is good.
no, apparently you need to throw the stems away because you should expect nothing less than just broccoli flowers on your plate.
Fuck that, I'm cooking for a family of five and they will EAT IT.
Quote from: triple zero on May 31, 2008, 12:27:54 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 30, 2008, 03:19:45 AMQuote from: East Coast Hustle on May 25, 2008, 01:39:59 PMpeel asparagus and you might as well peel broccoli or celery or something.
Don't you peel and eat the stems of broccoli? The woody layer is inedible, but if you peel it, the inside is good.
no, apparently you need to throw the stems away because you should expect nothing less than just broccoli flowers on your plate.
damn right. And they had better damn well be organic free-range grass-fed broccoli flowers, or you totally fucking suck at life.
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on May 31, 2008, 03:48:58 AM
damn right. And they had better damn well be organic free-range grass-fed broccoli flowers, or you totally fucking suck at life.
:lulz:
and i like broccoli stalks or stems or legs or feet.
whatever they're called, they're tasty sweet and sturdy