So how was your weekend? Not long enough! heh heh heh
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How was the Sexual Harassement It was great! I learned how to
workshop? molest water coolers.
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So what are you doing for Christmas? Just relaxing at home with the family, you?
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Anal?
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But this water cooler is empty. Just shut up and smile for the camera.
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:spittake:
"TALK" "Oh I get it because he said small talk."
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"PENIS"
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You SURE you won't get Yeah. I used to
pregnant? be a boy, you know.
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It sucks that we're Speak for yourself! These puppies are my job security.
getting downsized. I'm so glad they promoted Mr. Alphapance.
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Just to let you know, sweetie, that you put the crease on your pants the wrong way. Always front to back. Also, black pumps with khaki? Tell you what, we'll hit Jimmy Choo after work today and we'll find you a pair that's faaaaabulous.
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So what was it like
working for Pat Sajak?
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You stole my next idea! :argh!:
Yes, "pegging". Look it up.
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Sometimes, in the 3rd-floor bathroom, I lock the door, take off my pants, and poop in my shoe.
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Quote from: Nigel on December 15, 2008, 05:07:03 PM
Sometimes, in the 3rd-floor bathroom, I lock the door, take off my pants, and poop in my shoe.
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Oh my God! How did you know my fetish?
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Want to see what I
can do with this cup?
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Quote from: LMNO on December 15, 2008, 07:11:40 PM
Wouldn't it be weird if someone was watching us & improvising their own dialogue to our conversation?
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And then the bottle exploded
while up my colon! Man was I shocked when that happened...
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Quote from: Cain on December 15, 2008, 07:15:09 PM
I wonder if she'll notice I'm trying to NLP her into bed by mirroring her body language?
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What did you just say?
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Yeah, that was pretty outlandish.
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Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 15, 2008, 07:22:15 PM
So you legally changed your name to Ambassador Klok Kaos?
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EIGHT CHILDREN!? Wow, your uterus must resemble a raisin!
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YOU ATE CHILDREN!? Wow, your soul must resemble a raisin!
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My penis is raisin
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They call that a priapism, right?
/
I call it SKELETOR. /
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i drank so much water i am about to explode, have you ever heard of a golden shower?
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I'm not wearing any underwear.
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Quote from: Cain on December 15, 2008, 07:15:09 PM
And then the bottle exploded
while up my colon! Man was I shocked when that happened...
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But you did manage to catch
it all on video, right?
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But of course. Just ready
for .gif conversion to forums
everywhere. :argh!:
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this thread is even better if you read it as one continuous conversation punctuated by awkward pauses
You see, it was especially funny because one of the reporters yelled "DUCK!" And you see, George W. Bush is now in that period of time where a new President has been elected, but hasn't yet taken power. They call this the "Lame Duck" period. It can be a rather awkward time for the country where little is done or accomplished. It's like the government is hamfisted. So, when someone yelled "DUCK!" it was ironic! Do you get it?
/
/ *Goddamn, why can't the meeting start now?*
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So I hear HIMEOBS We're all totally
are buying out the company fucked then
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Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2008, 08:00:03 PM
this thread is even better if you read it as one continuous conversation punctuated by awkward pauses
Isn't that the point of it?
That's how I read it first, anyway.
But yeah, :lulz:
Working hard? Or hardly working? heh heh heh
\
\ Which one of those does
\ "I brought a gun to work today"
\ fall under?
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So whaddya think about That's a miniature right?
the new product line? Or is that actual size?
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[/quote]
Gift of the Magi (disgruntled worker edition):
I sold our water to get you these cups!
/
/
Well I sold our cups to put an /
extra $300 in my pocket and /
pad my already exorbitant pay /
rate! /
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Awwwwwwwww!
How's that glass ceiling treating ya?
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Quote from: LMNO on December 15, 2008, 08:49:19 PM
How's that glass ceiling treating ya?
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I'm guessing you're here because
you're between pregnancies?
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Oh, are you on the rag?
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Actually, I have a Bailout plan of my own.
It's called carrying the CFO's lovechild.
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bump
I bought a jet ski and surfed it around the bay. What did you do this weekend?
/
/ Same thing but replace "jet ski" with "hobo"
/ \
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"You. Me. A bottle of washing up liquid. A
motel room, and NEVER MENTIONING IT EVER!"
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\ "Okay! Just between you, me and the water cooler!"
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¦
¦
I won't tell a soul if you give my spiggot a twist or two
A long long time ago, I can still remember,
The way that music used to make me smile
\
\ And I knew that if I had my chance, I could make those people dance
\ And maybe they'd be happy for a while...
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¦
¦
Buddy Holly - Gone but not spiggot-en
"So last night I watched five movies on five different screens at the same time"
\
\
\ "Wow, that must have been hard. Anything interesting happen?"
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"Not really. I did quite like the scene where it turns out that Darth Vader is really Tyler Durden, and he shoots the murderer in a football stadium and forces him to say to the Romans "No! I am Bond, James Bond!"
\
\
\ "...Your taste in movies sucks"
\ /
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Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2008, 03:44:38 PM
So how was your weekend? Not long enough! heh heh heh
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I thought this was gonna be a thread about Payne's height.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 14, 2009, 03:58:08 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2008, 03:44:38 PM
So how was your weekend? Not long enough! heh heh heh
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I thought this was gonna be a thread about Payne's height.
Everything I post is is about my height. I have that Bonaparte thing going on, and EVERYTHING is compensation.
Hey, that Payne is mighty small, isn't he?
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\ Shhhhh, I think he might be hiding in the water cooler!
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¦
¦
I'll come out when they're all gone.....
I wonder if she realizes I wonder if he realizes
that with a quick haircut that with the right wig
and a wardrobe change and a wardrobe change
she'd look just like me. he'd look just like me.
God she's hot. God he's ugly.
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Did you see Jersey Shore this weekend?
/ Yeah! I admit I got all hot and bothered
/ when they put the centipedes in her vagina.
/
... we're not talking about the same show, are we? /
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\ JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?
It's Paula Deen. /
\ I think I just shat myself.
Well Nancy, that smell /
would indicate that you did /
in fact, shit yourself. /
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Also, OH MY FUCKING GOD! THREADS LIKE THIS ARE RUINING PEEDEE! UR ALL FAIL FOR THIS!
</kai>
So did you watch House last night?
/
No. But remember when you took off your shoes in the /
breakroom this morning? There's something I need to /
tell you. /
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HOW ARE YOU DOING? OUTSTANDING!
TWEET ME BACK! TWEET ME BACK!
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So what did you do this weekend?
\ Went to a swinger's club.
Really? Was it fun! /
\ It was alright. Something to do.
You know, I 've heard the /
boss goes to one of those. /
\ /
\ Yeah, this is kind of akward. I was going to tell you
\ this later but I just got promoted to Senior Vice-President.
\ /
Really? Congratulations. /
\ Also, you're fired.
What? You fucking suck! /
\ Well, duh, yeah that's how I got the promotion. Now hurry up and leave.
\ /
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