i step off the bus today happy as a clam, and two mormons come up to me ranting along through their winning their way to heaven routine.
if my CoB t-shirt was not enough of an obvious "fuck off jesus freaks" i don't know what is.
took me off guard,
i need a plan of attack for the next time they pester me on my way home from work.
yes, i was wearing a CoB shirt to work. The perks of telemarketing.
It's easy to freak out Mormons--start talking about your gay lovers and how much sex you have/where/when. That'll turn them right the fuck off.
wouldn't be too hard for me ;)
Tell them Mitt Romney is a tool and that Prince is an awful musician.
I'd deep throat Mitt Romney. FYI.
With your light-saber?
edit: oh wait, you said you'd deep-throat him, nvm.
Prince is a Mormon? I thought he was JW.
Quote from: LMNO on March 23, 2009, 07:48:23 PM
Prince is a Mormon? I thought he was JW.
Pshaw! Details, details.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 23, 2009, 07:47:49 PM
With your light-saber?
edit: oh wait, you said you'd deep-throat him, nvm.
both?
I had my friend answer the door nude and then I called to him saying honey who is it, are you coming back to bed?
But that is to easy you could just take your pants of tell them to hold it then hand them your bag while rummage through it.... Someone else can finish it from here I am brain dead and can only think about business bureaucracy and how to be an empowered manager.
Quote from: Dr Goofy on March 23, 2009, 07:53:18 PM
I had my friend answer the door nude and then I called to him saying honey who is it, are you coming back to bed?
But that is to easy you could just take your pants of tell them to hold it then hand them your bag while rummage through it.... Someone else can finish it from here I am brain dead and can only think about business bureaucracy and how to be an empowered manager.
That has happened to me so many times at the door we became jaded to it. Mostly we would just laugh... more often than not, answering the door naked is not something the 'average' American should do.
Quote from: Jenne on March 23, 2009, 07:40:30 PM
It's easy to freak out Mormons--start talking about your gay lovers and how much sex you have/where/when. That'll turn them right the fuck off.
Tell them your a Scientologist.. then start talking about the joys of Xenu
Quote from: Ratatosk on March 23, 2009, 08:02:13 PM
Quote from: Dr Goofy on March 23, 2009, 07:53:18 PM
I had my friend answer the door nude and then I called to him saying honey who is it, are you coming back to bed?
But that is to easy you could just take your pants of tell them to hold it then hand them your bag while rummage through it.... Someone else can finish it from here I am brain dead and can only think about business bureaucracy and how to be an empowered manager.
That has happened to me so many times at the door we became jaded to it. Mostly we would just laugh... more often than not, answering the door naked is not something the 'average' American should do.
Should I answer the door wearing nothing but a 11" black strap on dildo and say "I'd love to hear about Jesus, come in and take a seat"
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 23, 2009, 08:05:56 PM
Quote from: Jenne on March 23, 2009, 07:40:30 PM
It's easy to freak out Mormons--start talking about your gay lovers and how much sex you have/where/when. That'll turn them right the fuck off.
Tell them your a Scientologist.. then start talking about the joys of Xenu
I'm thinking there's a handbook out there, probably in the bowels of the interbutts, that has some interesting (read: handy, cool, fucked up, whathaveyou) ways of disposing of Mormons/JWs/door to door salespeople creatively.
If not, wonderful GASM project.
Quote from: Lyris_Nymphetamine on March 23, 2009, 08:07:21 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on March 23, 2009, 08:02:13 PM
Quote from: Dr Goofy on March 23, 2009, 07:53:18 PM
I had my friend answer the door nude and then I called to him saying honey who is it, are you coming back to bed?
But that is to easy you could just take your pants of tell them to hold it then hand them your bag while rummage through it.... Someone else can finish it from here I am brain dead and can only think about business bureaucracy and how to be an empowered manager.
That has happened to me so many times at the door we became jaded to it. Mostly we would just laugh... more often than not, answering the door naked is not something the 'average' American should do.
Should I answer the door wearing nothing but a 11" black strap on dildo and say "I'd love to hear about Jesus, come in and take a seat"
Better yet, take off the strap-on and hand it to them, telling them they go first, then you'll listen.
:lulz:
Holy shit Jenne is suggesting some assfuckery
that is fucking awesome
Mormon Buttsecks
Brigham Young would approve.
edit:
am i the only person who thinks his name sounds like a low budget 70's porno?
Quote from: Lyris_Nymphetamine on March 23, 2009, 08:13:31 PM
Mormon Buttsecks
Brigham Young would approve.
edit:
am i the only person who thinks his name sounds like a low budget 70's porno?
Naw, I was thinking the title to Reverend Uncle BadTouch's memoirs.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 23, 2009, 08:33:15 PM
Quote from: Lyris_Nymphetamine on March 23, 2009, 08:13:31 PM
Mormon Buttsecks
Brigham Young would approve.
edit:
am i the only person who thinks his name sounds like a low budget 70's porno?
Naw, I was thinking the title to Reverend Uncle BadTouch's memoirs.
That would be illegal anywhere the age of consent is over 14
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 23, 2009, 08:33:15 PM
Quote from: Lyris_Nymphetamine on March 23, 2009, 08:13:31 PM
Mormon Buttsecks
Brigham Young would approve.
edit:
am i the only person who thinks his name sounds like a low budget 70's porno?
Naw, I was thinking the title to Reverend Uncle BadTouch's memoirs.
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 23, 2009, 08:34:53 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 23, 2009, 08:33:15 PM
Quote from: Lyris_Nymphetamine on March 23, 2009, 08:13:31 PM
Mormon Buttsecks
Brigham Young would approve.
edit:
am i the only person who thinks his name sounds like a low budget 70's porno?
Naw, I was thinking the title to Reverend Uncle BadTouch's memoirs.
That would be illegal anywhere the age of consent is over 14
i am hereby happy i have no idea who reverend Uncle BadTouch is D:
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on March 23, 2009, 08:10:50 PM
:lulz:
Holy shit Jenne is suggesting some assfuckery
that is fucking awesome
Hay, assfuckery's awesome. 8)
Quiz the missionaries about whether they're virgins, how they're not supposed to masturbate, and whether they ever get inappropriate thoughts about each other since that's who they spend the most time with.
Become a J-dub then follow them from house to house debating that your the better choice.
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on March 23, 2009, 09:26:05 PM
Quiz the missionaries about whether they're virgins, how they're not supposed to masturbate, and whether they ever get inappropriate thoughts about each other since that's who they spend the most time with.
then wack off to their replies
Quote from: Jenne on March 23, 2009, 08:09:02 PM
Quote from: Lyris_Nymphetamine on March 23, 2009, 08:07:21 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on March 23, 2009, 08:02:13 PM
Quote from: Dr Goofy on March 23, 2009, 07:53:18 PM
I had my friend answer the door nude and then I called to him saying honey who is it, are you coming back to bed?
But that is to easy you could just take your pants of tell them to hold it then hand them your bag while rummage through it.... Someone else can finish it from here I am brain dead and can only think about business bureaucracy and how to be an empowered manager.
That has happened to me so many times at the door we became jaded to it. Mostly we would just laugh... more often than not, answering the door naked is not something the 'average' American should do.
Should I answer the door wearing nothing but a 11" black strap on dildo and say "I'd love to hear about Jesus, come in and take a seat"
Better yet, take off the strap-on and hand it to them, telling them they go first, then you'll listen.
:potd: gotta luv the buttsex
zen_magick
coming from someone with an avatar from Orgasmo, anything you say about assfuckery is just that little bit more exciting. *schwing*
Tell them your a druid.
or....invite them in and wildly explain to them that you are building a space ship to fly to Kolob, show them the plans
and ask if they want in.
I have a very boring (but very effective method), though it seems to work best on JWs. I tell them no, mow over their objections, tell them good luck with the next person, and shut the door. They don't come back.
When I've been pounced on, I've either pretended to not speak English or to be deaf. Usually works.