So there's this guy named Jack who lives on my street, a few houses down from me. His yard is immaculate, his house is repainted at least once every five years (always stark white with dull blue trim), and there's an enormous yellow truck in his driveway that sits about four feet off the ground on monster-truck tires, each roughly comprising the mass of two average African elephants. There is a wooden fence about seven feet tall and about ten or so feet wide filling the gap between the side of his house and the edge of his lot. On this fence is a sign, white with red and blue lettering, which reads "OBAMA" across the top, and running down from each letter are the words, "One Big Ass Mistake America," with a little American flag clumsily painted on at the bottom.
Jack doesn't trust the Government. He believes that the Government has become more than it was supposed to be, expanded beyond its rightful boundaries, and is, like a greasy salesman, obsessed with creating problems just so it can solve them -- and in the process, getting in the way of too many things Jack would like to do. Jack is convinced that any day now, some Democrat is going to order the Army to invade his house and take his children or something, so Jack stocks up on guns and ammo, complains about restrictions on his ability to stock up on other more dangerous things, and blames every problem he can think of on his political enemies, the "Liberals."
I think Jack is an asshole. I wonder when people like him are going to wake up and get with the times. I mean, the guy is a cultural Neanderthal. Eventually, guys like him are going to die out and leave civilization to the civilized. I think people like Jack are the problem. The Government is full of them, and who knows when they're going to make their move.
I don't trust the Government. I think the Government has become more than it was supposed to be, expanded beyond its rightful boundaries, and is, like a greasy salesman, obsessed with creating problems just so it can solve them -- and in the process, getting in the way of too many things I'd like to do. One of these days, some right-winger is going to get too much power and start enforcing his worldview on us with guns. I'm pretty sure that most of the problems we have in this country nowadays can be directly attributed to the failed policies of Conservatives.
I just wish there were more people nearby who could relate to that.
Just goes to show--
what fucks up every good democracy?
We, the People.
I like how you did that in the first person, with a minimum amount of irony.
Excellent piece! Shit.
:mittens:
Nicely done!
Nice! I like it!
Vex, you're talking about my entire county, right down to the bro trucks.
Agreed as well.
:mittens: Really cool!
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
:|
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
:lulz:
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
You failed to notice that the penultimate paragraph was almost word-for-word identical to the second paragraph? And if you
did notice that, it didn't mean anything to you?
Quote from: Dr Hoopla on April 22, 2009, 09:38:16 PM
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
You failed to notice that the penultimate paragraph was almost word-for-word identical to the second paragraph? And if you did notice that, it didn't mean anything to you?
:lulz:
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
For fuck sake, read it again, only this time
pay attention.
bah humbug, i apologise for MY naivety. i was being brash. i constantly hear the same sort of shit, and took your conclusion to be blaming conservatism, and i thought ...just another scapegoat attitude.
Cramulus reared back as if someone had waved offal under his nose.
"Conservatism?" he pronounced the word as if I had accused him of being a child-molester. "We're anarchists and outlaws, goddam it. Didn't you understand that much? We've got nothing to do with right-wing, left-wing or any other half-assed political category. If you work within the system, you come to one of the either/or choices that were implicit in the system from the beginning. You're talking like a medieval serf, asking the first agnostic whether he worships God or the Devil. We're outside the system's categories. You'll never get the hang of our game if you keep thinking in flat-earth imagery of right and left, good and evil, up and down. If you need a group label for us, we're political non-Euclideans. But even that's not true. Sink me, nobody of this tub agrees with anybody else about anything, except maybe what the fellow with the horns told the old man in the clouds: Non serviam."
:mrgreen:
(tip of the hat to Wilson)
Non serviam!
:wink:
fuck yeah.
Vex, this was an awesome piece.
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 10:00:52 PM
bah humbug, i apologise for MY naivety. i was being brash. i constantly hear the same sort of shit, and took your conclusion to be blaming conservatism, and i thought ...just another scapegoat attitude.
Dear god just shut up.
Vex, :mittens:
PARABOLA, HO! :mittens: Nicely done, vex. Wow!
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 10:00:52 PM
bah humbug, i apologise for MY naivety. i was being brash. i constantly hear the same sort of shit, and took your conclusion to be blaming conservatism, and i thought ...just another scapegoat attitude.
Well, I think a lot of people
would take it that way if they didn't read it closely enough. I think that's the nice subtlety of a piece like this--it gives you THAT vibe until you get to the last bit of it, and then the light flicks on and you smile with delight.
I am Jack's ibligatory fight club reference.
but seriously, folks, all joking aside- the right-wing, left-wing debate got me thinking there should be some sort of meme-bomb about this . . .
incorporating the sentiment that it takes two wings to fly seems wrong and too hokey.
maybe: "politics: the sound of one wing flapping"
Quote from: fomenter on April 22, 2009, 10:47:23 PM
Non serviam!
:wink:
I work as a bartender and I have that tattooed on my hand. I have to explain it almost every day.
Good stuff, Vex.
I managed a wry smile.
Nicely done Vex! :mittens:
Also the award for stupidest fucking comment ever posted on the internets goes to ...
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
This was nice, very nice! :D
(also, that comment was a bit rich.) :sad:
It goes to show that people should stop and think a little before posting. Perhaps the point isn't exactly what you thought it was when you began angrily typing with two fingers...
:nou:
i see my apology didn't go down too well, what is a man supposed when he can't make a few mistakes without people acting like vultures.
[
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on April 23, 2009, 01:40:21 AM
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 10:00:52 PM
bah humbug, i apologise for MY naivety. i was being brash. i constantly hear the same sort of shit, and took your conclusion to be blaming conservatism, and i thought ...just another scapegoat attitude.
Dear god just shut up.
Vex, :mittens:
I hate to break it to you, but that's what it's like here.
You can purchase a helmet in the Open Bar; just ask the scrid for the "50-Post Special".
Quote from: leonard koan on April 23, 2009, 06:10:15 PM
i see my apology didn't go down too well, what is a man supposed when he can't make a few mistakes without people acting like vultures.
Welcome to PD.com
There's something called the 50 post rule, in which all regular members are required to give people with less than 50 posts as much shit as possible whenever they say something foolish.
Wait...
No, the 50 post rule is the idea that people with less than 50 posts are given some leeway and minor respite from being hounded for their mistakes. It doesn't always apply, especially when people don't feel like it.
It's not a rule.
Anyway, I thought your apology was fine, and I think your name is hilarious, so there.
Quote from: leonard koan on April 23, 2009, 06:10:15 PM
i see my apology didn't go down too well, what is a man supposed when he can't make a few mistakes without people acting like vultures.
Nah, this is just the 'Welcome to the Club' treatment. If we didn't actually like you, there would be some embarrassing picture of you as a emote.
Recent Example::
:genius:
Quote from: Jenne on April 23, 2009, 03:24:35 AM
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 10:00:52 PM
bah humbug, i apologise for MY naivety. i was being brash. i constantly hear the same sort of shit, and took your conclusion to be blaming conservatism, and i thought ...just another scapegoat attitude.
Well, I think a lot of people would take it that way if they didn't read it closely enough. I think that's the nice subtlety of a piece like this--it gives you THAT vibe until you get to the last bit of it, and then the light flicks on and you smile with delight.
i agree. unfortunatly my light had been stamped on by my bad attitude at the time. and i wish i had that experience -seen as the article summed up a lot of what i have been thinking about.
Quote from: leonard koan on April 23, 2009, 06:28:05 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 23, 2009, 03:24:35 AM
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 10:00:52 PM
bah humbug, i apologise for MY naivety. i was being brash. i constantly hear the same sort of shit, and took your conclusion to be blaming conservatism, and i thought ...just another scapegoat attitude.
Well, I think a lot of people would take it that way if they didn't read it closely enough. I think that's the nice subtlety of a piece like this--it gives you THAT vibe until you get to the last bit of it, and then the light flicks on and you smile with delight.
i agree. unfortunatly my light had been stamped on by my bad attitude at the time. and i wish i had that experience -seen as the article summed up a lot of what i have been thinking about.
:D Lesson learned, eh? That's good--means the OP did its job in the end, then. Welcome to PD.com, leonard.
This is really good, vex, I've always liked your stuff. Since someone else brought up RAW first I wanted to point out that it reminds me of the description of the Russian, American, and Chinese leaders. I couldn't find it but trust me, it exists.
UPDATE!
Not surprisingly, 2/3 of the comments I received on my MySpace blog after posting this exact thing there, result in people entirely missing the point, and "agreeing" with me that "Conservatives Fail."
This is why I never go to MySpace.
Quote from: leonard koan on April 22, 2009, 09:19:36 PM
i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.
I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?
Someone didn't get it. :lulz:
Quote from: leonard koan on April 23, 2009, 06:10:15 PM
i see my apology didn't go down too well, what is a man supposed when he can't make a few mistakes without people acting like vultures.
This is PD. Nobody can hear you scream.
Quote from: vexati0n on April 25, 2009, 06:36:31 PM
UPDATE!
Not surprisingly, 2/3 of the comments I received on my MySpace blog after posting this exact thing there, result in people entirely missing the point, and "agreeing" with me that "Conservatives Fail."
This is why I never go to MySpace.
:horrormirth:
people in general are morons. Thanks be given that many people on this forum do not fit in to that category!
That was a great piece vex. I really liked it. I was thinking of printing it out to distribute among my family members who could use some enlightening...
Quote from: Akara on April 26, 2009, 01:55:05 PM
people in general are morons.
This.
Quote from: Akara on April 26, 2009, 01:55:05 PM
Thanks be given that many people on this forum do not fit in to that category!
That.
Quote from: Dr Hoopla on April 23, 2009, 01:09:38 PM
It goes to show that people should stop and think a little before posting. Perhaps the point isn't exactly what you thought it was when you began angrily typing with two fingers...
If only there was such a delay in real life before people opened their mouths. Most people just react