Appetizers
Boss puts his oldest daughter in charge of the restaurant as GM
Entrees
Daughter makes it very clear that I am subservient to her, not her partner
Daughter tries to make me want to quit so that I won't be able to collect unemployment
Dessert
I find out that boss never intends to show a profit, preferring to use restaurant as a tax shelter. This makes my deal for 10% of the profits pretty meaningless.
Apertif
I don't like being played for a sucker. I decide to find out exactly how far I can push things before they're forced to fire me.
Bon Appetite!
:mittens:
(Rethinks his trip to Castine to try the clam chowder)
PS - seduce the daughter, perhaps?
I was expecting this to end somewhere along the lines of ".. and I call this menu ... the Aristocrats."
:lulz:
Quote from: Triple Zero on May 29, 2009, 09:21:09 PM
I was expecting this to end somewhere along the lines of ".. and I call this menu ... the Aristocrats."
:lulz: :mittens:
Also, that sucks donkey dongs, ECH. I hope you give it to 'em good, however you figure it out.
That sucks! Give her hell! Or seduce her, yes.
get kitchen nightmares invited to restaurant,
seduce owners daughter,
manipulate everyone make them look stupid on nation TV,
get restaurants problems that you have exasperated and caused to be blamed on others,
have problems fixed by end of show look like hero,
after restaurant is fixed and cameras leave use new fame to get better job,
engineer collapse of restaurants new success with your departure...
ECH, that sucks and is lame. You will rise above.
Figure out what he's up to with the taxes
Use that as a weapon.
no, I won't do that, or anything like that. He was my dad's best friend for years and did enough for both of us that I would never do anything that would fuck him over like that. And my beef is mostly not with him. He's too busy with his other projects to pay much attention to what's going on at the restaurant other than eating there once in a while to make sure the food is good. I'm going for the subtle "fuck you" here.
So it's the daughter that needs "dealing with"?
yeah. I wouldn't mind if it were something that got his attention too but nothing that will do him lasting harm.
sounds like you need to make her quit before you do.
getting ramsey would be a longshot, but possible with lots of "fan letters"
p. oak on the toilet seat be a great opening volley
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on June 01, 2009, 06:18:09 PM
no, I won't do that, or anything like that. He was my dad's best friend for years and did enough for both of us that I would never do anything that would fuck him over like that. And my beef is mostly not with him. He's too busy with his other projects to pay much attention to what's going on at the restaurant other than eating there once in a while to make sure the food is good. I'm going for the subtle "fuck you" here.
oh. oops.
i got nuthin then :?
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on June 01, 2009, 06:18:09 PM
no, I won't do that, or anything like that. He was my dad's best friend for years and did enough for both of us that I would never do anything that would fuck him over like that. And my beef is mostly not with him. He's too busy with his other projects to pay much attention to what's going on at the restaurant other than eating there once in a while to make sure the food is good. I'm going for the subtle "fuck you" here.
please disregard this. the gloves are totally off and all options up to and including a limited tactical nuclear strike will be considered.
ECH,
quitting soon anyway. fuck it.
Sodomize daughter. Post pics on /b/.
Sodomize /b/. Post pics on daughter.
Much better idea.
Does she have an office or something? A place where she keeps personal things? Take all her shit and hide it where she either won't think to look or can't get at. And then when you leave, leave it on her desk.
poop on her desk.
if she has no desk, poop on her chest.
If she has no chest, SPACEDOCKING.
They said "Space dock" in the new Star Trek. I refuse to believe they were unaware.
:lulz:
Upon reading this, the gears in my head began to turn. I will remind the ladies and gentlemen of the jury that when this occurs, my only recourse is to enter a plea of insanity.
I came up with several ideas for the imminent hijinks that would no doubt be happening during the next few episodes of this man's sitcom, 80% of which would most likely end with my arraignment due to violations of frottage law, armistice treaties, and the FCC.
Nonetheless, I believe I have found the least acrimonious yet most socially viable revenge tactic:
1. Start collecting junk mail that has pre-paid envelopes inside of it.
2. Start collecting bricks.
3. Bring both to post office (The united states postal service has to send anything up to the weight and size of a brick in these postage paid envelopes, just tape it to the outside.)
4.Address to boss, boss' daughter, anybody else who has it coming but whom you just don't care enough about to actually show up at their house and lob said bricks through the window. It implies a rakish air of laziness that I find appealing and your hapless victims will find incredibly annoying.
ENJOY!
-General Stuart
Quote from: General Stuart on June 12, 2009, 09:46:32 PM
Upon reading this, the gears in my head began to turn. I will remind the ladies and gentlemen of the jury that when this occurs, my only recourse is to enter a plea of insanity.
I came up with several ideas for the imminent hijinks that would no doubt be happening during the next few episodes of this man's sitcom, 80% of which would most likely end with my arraignment due to violations of frottage law, armistice treaties, and the FCC.
Nonetheless, I believe I have found the least acrimonious yet most socially viable revenge tactic:
1. Start collecting junk mail that has pre-paid envelopes inside of it.
2. Start collecting bricks.
3. Bring both to post office (The united states postal service has to send anything up to the weight and size of a brick in these postage paid envelopes, just tape it to the outside.)
4.Address to boss, boss' daughter, anybody else who has it coming but whom you just don't care enough about to actually show up at their house and lob said bricks through the window. It implies a rakish air of laziness that I find appealing and your hapless victims will find incredibly annoying.
ENJOY!
-General Stuart
You can't change the address on postage-paid envelopes, it's illegal.
True...
But this is the least illegal thing I could think to post here.
So, just send the bricks back to the bill collectors and Franklin Mint Reps, it's still fun.
How much would mailing someone a brick really annoy them? Seems like the progression would be first a little confusion, then just getting rid of the thing.
Secondarily, annoying people is fun sometimes, but what does it accomplish? Keep in mind - mindfuck does not just mean headache.
Mailing someone a brick would be hilarious, IMO.
Mail them a brick with instructions attached to it. Like-
"I've sent you this brick along with these instructions for you to follow out of sheer laziness and you not being worth the effort for me to do this myself:
A) remove brick from packaging
B) step outside your home and walk 30 paces
C) turn around and hurl brick at your own window.
D) get angry at your broken window and shake fist at it"
Or just attach a sticky note that says, "I thought of you, and then I shat this!"
edit: wow I was tired when I wrote this. fix't
Quote from: Nigel on June 12, 2009, 09:50:13 PM
Quote from: General Stuart on June 12, 2009, 09:46:32 PM
Upon reading this, the gears in my head began to turn. I will remind the ladies and gentlemen of the jury that when this occurs, my only recourse is to enter a plea of insanity.
I came up with several ideas for the imminent hijinks that would no doubt be happening during the next few episodes of this man's sitcom, 80% of which would most likely end with my arraignment due to violations of frottage law, armistice treaties, and the FCC.
Nonetheless, I believe I have found the least acrimonious yet most socially viable revenge tactic:
1. Start collecting junk mail that has pre-paid envelopes inside of it.
2. Start collecting bricks.
3. Bring both to post office (The united states postal service has to send anything up to the weight and size of a brick in these postage paid envelopes, just tape it to the outside.)
4.Address to boss, boss' daughter, anybody else who has it coming but whom you just don't care enough about to actually show up at their house and lob said bricks through the window. It implies a rakish air of laziness that I find appealing and your hapless victims will find incredibly annoying.
ENJOY!
-General Stuart
You can't change the address on postage-paid envelopes, it's illegal.
also, I wonder ... you can't really insert a brick in a post box. so you'd have to bring it to the post office to get it delivered. i can already imagine, at the desk, with a brick and a prepaid return envelope taped to it, and the address crossed out and replaced by another... ... "suuuuure mister, we will deliver that for you ..." :|
reminds me - when I was a kid, my dad had a customer who refused to pay him for thousands of bucks worth of work. The guy was a real prick about it too. And also quite anal retentive about his yard. So my dad drove to his house one evening, where the guy had a brick walkway leading up to his front door. My dad removed one single brick. It's a pain in the ass to go buy one single brick. And it's kind of hard to get the right color - odds are you'll have one brick that looks a lot brigher than the rest. This would drive the guy mad - he'd HAVE to go get one.
My dad did this every few weeks for the whole summer.
:lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on June 15, 2009, 04:13:45 PM
reminds me - when I was a kid, my dad had a customer who refused to pay him for thousands of bucks worth of work. The guy was a real prick about it too. And also quite anal retentive about his yard. So my dad drove to his house one evening, where the guy had a brick walkway leading up to his front door. My dad removed one single brick. It's a pain in the ass to go buy one single brick. And it's kind of hard to get the right color - odds are you'll have one brick that looks a lot brigher than the rest. This would drive the guy mad - he'd HAVE to go get one.
My dad did this every few weeks for the whole summer.
Fucking. Brilliant.
Quote from: Cramulus on June 15, 2009, 04:13:45 PM
reminds me - when I was a kid, my dad had a customer who refused to pay him for thousands of bucks worth of work. The guy was a real prick about it too. And also quite anal retentive about his yard. So my dad drove to his house one evening, where the guy had a brick walkway leading up to his front door. My dad removed one single brick. It's a pain in the ass to go buy one single brick. And it's kind of hard to get the right color - odds are you'll have one brick that looks a lot brigher than the rest. This would drive the guy mad - he'd HAVE to go get one.
My dad did this every few weeks for the whole summer.
That is just WONDERFUL.