I get a barrage of PMs that seem to make no sense. People jabbering questions at me that should never be asked of anyone NOT on a rabid caffiene jag at a filthy all-night diner.
Now, considering it is considered very bad form to publicly post PMs, I will leave the name of the person PMing out, and - just to be safe - I will only post my responses. The guilty persons will know to whom I am speaking, and what I am speaking about. I do this to keep from spending all day on PM. Should one of the original questioners ask a follow up question here, thus identifying themselves as the dangerous perverts they are, that's their own look out.
So, here we go, in order:
1. No, Poutine is not used as a sexual lubricant in Canada. Where the fuck did THAT come from?
2. Yes, Maria and I have shacked up again. For another 24 hours or so. Yes, there was mayhem, and no, I will not describe it, because I've been to jail and I don't like it.
3. 12 times. Only one was illegal, technically. Or so my lawyer says. They can't bust you for just HAVING one, you have to commit an overt act with it. And no, batteries are not included. Remember, you're after long life, not high power, so I'd use regular old duracells.
4. I'd comply with your request/demand, but I am no longer that flexible. Or desperate. Also, I think it's illegal in Arizona, and I'd be violating the Mann Act if I went to New Mexico to do it.
5. It's a photoshop, and you can't prove any different, so stop saying that.
6. Sarah Palin, a filthy mop, and a quart of bourbon. Other than that, I can't think of any solution to your problem.
There. That deals with the filth currently in my inbox. If any of you degenerates feel the need to pester me with any more fucked up PMs, look here for your answers.
:potd:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:13:52 PM
1. No, Poutine is not used as a sexual lubricant in Canada. Where the fuck did THAT come from?
speak for yourself there
:argh!:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:13:52 PM
1. No, Poutine is not used as a sexual lubricant in Canada. Where the fuck did THAT come from?
It isn't??
...fuck
Canadians are goddamn SEXY, ITT.
Quote from: Hoopla on October 06, 2009, 06:16:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:13:52 PM
1. No, Poutine is not used as a sexual lubricant in Canada. Where the fuck did THAT come from?
It isn't??
...fuck
No. Canadians use seal oil and whale blubber. This is common knowledge.
This thread has made it all plain to me. Whatever it is you're selling, we need a price quote for 20. AND the catalog. I MUST do this to my state (both of them)
Quote from: Richter on October 06, 2009, 06:30:58 PM
This thread has made it all plain to me. Whatever it is you're selling, we need a price quote for 20. AND the catalog. I MUST do this to my state (both of them)
Like I said, it's a photoshop, and you can't prove any different.
Of course. Not that it means anything, but I've seen the surplus from East Block USSR's veterinary program.
It's more possible than Reagan was goign to let on, and stranger than most care to know.
Quote from: Richter on October 06, 2009, 06:37:22 PM
Of course. Not that it means anything, but I've seen the surplus from East Block USSR's veterinary program.
It's more possible than Reagan was goign to let on, and stranger than most care to know.
Yes, but I'd retain a good lawyer before I contacted the veterinarian. Animal cruelty laws vary from state to state...As far as I know this sort of thing is perfectly legal in Montana, but in Georgia, you'd be looking at 10-20 years just for talking about it. They are a prudish bunch there, and very sticklish about their threatened species list.
Hence, it's only for the animals over the age of 21 with consent forms and state - issued ID.
The problem is they'll likely shut you down just for having them.
If they don't realize what they are though, "I'm making an independent film" gets rid of most attention. Better they think I'm a pretentious art dick than the sort of derranged pervert who runs that sort of aparatus.
God. It never ends.
To the most recent question, no, I have never heard of anyone stalking the lead singer of Dexies' Midnight Runners. You seem to have accomplished a first. Good luck in your amorous pursuits.
Quote from: Richter on October 06, 2009, 06:47:09 PM
Hence, it's only for the animals over the age of 21 with consent forms and state - issued ID.
The problem is they'll likely shut you down just for having them.
If they don't realize what they are though, "I'm making an independent film" gets rid of most attention. Better they think I'm a pretentious art dick than the sort of derranged pervert who runs that sort of aparatus.
I don't think they'd buy it. I would think they'd imagine you were making some horrible porn normally found only in Belgium, and stick you
under the jail. I know East coast cops...they are a surly bunch, and Calvinists to a man. You'd be doomed. You could consider yourself fortunate to survive long enough to be booked.
:lulz:
In order: Lousy, hanging out with Arabs, telling the stiffy joke, he retires, and blue.
Why must people barf in my inbox?
This has to stop, people. Your Rain God commands it.
TGRR,
Thinks that ought to just about put a stop to this nonsense.
I was gonna do a dance number, too. :cry:
...AAAAAAND brain officially ruined for the day.
Quote from: Richter on October 06, 2009, 09:17:32 PM
...AAAAAAND brain officially ruined for the day.
By the thought of me dancing?
Come
ON! I'm not THAT white!
I say all silly thoughts you have throughout the day should be sent straight to Roger.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 08:08:42 PM
In order: Lousy, hanging out with Arabs, telling the stiffy joke, he retires, and blue.
Heh, this reminds me of Cram's Jeopardy thread.
So (in order),
- What quality can I expect from the new Healthcare system?
- How do you get on the terrorist watch list?
- same as above
- How'd you get the rain god position off the previous rain god?
- How are your testicles at the moment?
Quote from: Rumckle on October 07, 2009, 01:36:01 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 08:08:42 PM
In order: Lousy, hanging out with Arabs, telling the stiffy joke, he retires, and blue.
Heh, this reminds me of Cram's Jeopardy thread.
So (in order),
- What quality can I expect from the new Healthcare system?
- How do you get on the terrorist watch list?
- same as above
- How'd you get the rain god position off the previous rain god?
- How are your testicles at the moment?
You, sir, win the interbutt.
Quote from: Rumckle on October 07, 2009, 01:36:01 AM
- How'd you get the rain god position off the previous rain god?
I've actually heard about this.
Long ago, a terrible drought swept through Tucson, and the people were desperate. They prayed, and they fasted, hoping that a divine downpour would be granted to them. After a few days they slaughtered a white lamb (almost as an afterthought), but that didn't work either. All other options exhausted, they came to the house of the Good Reverend, knowing of his reputation as a Holy Man.
"Please, Good Reverend," they cried out to him, "help us!"
And TGRR did turn to face the multitude, and his voice boomed out loud and clear in anger and annoyance: "Get the fuck off my lawn, monkeys." And the townspeople were disappoint.
Early the next morn, there came an insistent rapping on the door of the Reverend. Roused from his bear-like slumber, Roger stumbled to the door, only to find upon opening it two young Mormon missionaries.
"Good Morning, Sir," they did say, "Wouldst thou have time to talk about the Lord and Saviour Baby Jesus?"
And so it came to pass that Roger was deprived of his beauty sleep. Upon realizing this, he raised a mighty howl and chased the Mormons down the street clad only in his boxers. And lo, while they ran he didst beat them about the shoulders with a cross, all the while screaming Hail Marys in Arabic. Late that evening, it rained.
He has been known as a Rain God ever since.
Quote from: Sir Remington III on October 07, 2009, 04:05:23 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on October 07, 2009, 01:36:01 AM
- How'd you get the rain god position off the previous rain god?
I've actually heard about this.
Long ago, a terrible drought swept through Tucson, and the people were desperate. They prayed, and they fasted, hoping that a divine downpour would be granted to them. After a few days they slaughtered a white lamb (almost as an afterthought), but that didn't work either. All other options exhausted, they came to the house of the Good Reverend, knowing of his reputation as a Holy Man.
"Please, Good Reverend," they cried out to him, "help us!"
And TGRR did turn to face the multitude, and his voice boomed out loud and clear in anger and annoyance: "Get the fuck off my lawn, monkeys." And the townspeople were disappoint.
Early the next morn, there came an insistent rapping on the door of the Reverend. Roused from his bear-like slumber, Roger stumbled to the door, only to find upon opening it two young Mormon missionaries.
"Good Morning, Sir," they did say, "Wouldst thou have time to talk about the Lord and Saviour Baby Jesus?"
And so it came to pass that Roger was deprived of his beauty sleep. Upon realizing this, he raised a mighty howl and chased the Mormons down the street clad only in his boxers. And lo, while they ran he didst beat them about the shoulders with a cross, all the while screaming Hail Marys in Arabic. Late that evening, it rained.
He has been known as a Rain God ever since.
Actually, I pissed onto an entire town from 300 feet up every morning at precisely 10AM, but that's close enough.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 07, 2009, 04:29:59 AM
Quote from: Sir Remington III on October 07, 2009, 04:05:23 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on October 07, 2009, 01:36:01 AM
- How'd you get the rain god position off the previous rain god?
I've actually heard about this.
Long ago, a terrible drought swept through Tucson, and the people were desperate. They prayed, and they fasted, hoping that a divine downpour would be granted to them. After a few days they slaughtered a white lamb (almost as an afterthought), but that didn't work either. All other options exhausted, they came to the house of the Good Reverend, knowing of his reputation as a Holy Man.
"Please, Good Reverend," they cried out to him, "help us!"
And TGRR did turn to face the multitude, and his voice boomed out loud and clear in anger and annoyance: "Get the fuck off my lawn, monkeys." And the townspeople were disappoint.
Early the next morn, there came an insistent rapping on the door of the Reverend. Roused from his bear-like slumber, Roger stumbled to the door, only to find upon opening it two young Mormon missionaries.
"Good Morning, Sir," they did say, "Wouldst thou have time to talk about the Lord and Saviour Baby Jesus?"
And so it came to pass that Roger was deprived of his beauty sleep. Upon realizing this, he raised a mighty howl and chased the Mormons down the street clad only in his boxers. And lo, while they ran he didst beat them about the shoulders with a cross, all the while screaming Hail Marys in Arabic. Late that evening, it rained.
He has been known as a Rain God ever since.
Actually, I pissed onto an entire town from 300 feet up every morning at precisely 10AM, but that's close enough.
Wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a Stetson, IIRC?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:22:20 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 06, 2009, 06:16:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:13:52 PM
1. No, Poutine is not used as a sexual lubricant in Canada. Where the fuck did THAT come from?
It isn't??
...fuck
No. Canadians use seal oil and whale blubber. This is common knowledge.
TGRR,
I think in your answer you are not accounting for the different kinds of Canadians.
The native Canadians (Eskimos) who use seal oil and whale blubber as a sexual lubricant.
The Regular Canadians who use beer and hockey as a sexual lubricant.
And French Canadians who are the ones who use Poutine as a sexual lubricant.
Sincearly,
Someone who can find Canada on a map (7 times out of 10).
Quote from: PopeTom on October 07, 2009, 02:34:47 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:22:20 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 06, 2009, 06:16:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 06, 2009, 06:13:52 PM
1. No, Poutine is not used as a sexual lubricant in Canada. Where the fuck did THAT come from?
It isn't??
...fuck
No. Canadians use seal oil and whale blubber. This is common knowledge.
TGRR,
I think in your answer you are not accounting for the different kinds of Canadians.
The native Canadians (Eskimos) who use seal oil and whale blubber as a sexual lubricant.
The Regular Canadians who use beer and hockey as a sexual lubricant.
And French Canadians who are the ones who use Poutine as a sexual lubricant.
Sincearly,
Someone who can find Canada on a map (7 times out of 10).
"Sincerely".
TGRR,
Grew up in Canada.
I like to think of Canada as a dapper top hat for the continent.
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on October 07, 2009, 03:20:55 PM
I like to think of Canada as a dapper top hat for the continent.
I like to think of Canada as what America should have been.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 07, 2009, 03:21:48 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on October 07, 2009, 03:20:55 PM
I like to think of Canada as a dapper top hat for the continent.
I like to think of Canada as what America should have been.
Dapper. Black. Cylindrical. Worn at a jaunty angle.
Yep.
Quote from: Richter on October 06, 2009, 06:30:58 PM
This thread has made it all plain to me. Whatever it is you're selling, we need a price quote for 20. AND the catalog. I MUST do this to my state (both of them)
Oh no you won't.
You all say that. You won't want me to stop once you see the results.
It's instructions, those were cancelled for budgetary reasons, and she's never been known to sleep.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 07, 2009, 05:01:21 PM
It's instructions, those were cancelled for budgetary reasons, and she's never been known to sleep.
Goddamnit, who is asking about me??? :argh!:
Quote from: Nigel on October 08, 2009, 03:33:05 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 07, 2009, 05:01:21 PM
It's instructions, those were cancelled for budgetary reasons, and she's never been known to sleep.
Goddamnit, who is asking about me??? :argh!:
I cannot reveal my sores. Sources.
Quote from: Richter on October 07, 2009, 03:50:51 PM
You all say that. You won't want me to stop once you see the results.
Fine.
But I'm not paying up front.
(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/loldog-funny-pictures-innocent-dog.jpg)