It appears that there is a greater than average chance that I will become a father.
Ask me anything.
usually the pee sticks are Boolean in nature....
:?
Did you try to outsmart the calendar too?
Congrats?
Quote from: Iptuous on December 07, 2009, 01:47:09 PM
usually the pee sticks are Boolean in nature....
:?
Haven't been to the Doctor's yet... I'm not above Eris trying to fuck with me and providing a false positive.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 07, 2009, 01:49:54 PM
Did you try to outsmart the calendar too?
No, we decided that instead of "trying to have" kids, we'd "stop trying not to" have them. It came as some surprise that one of us wasn't sterile, considering our histories.
Quote from: Jenne on December 07, 2009, 01:53:25 PM
Congrats?
That seems to be the big question. One of the odder things about this is the puzzled looks we gave each other when we found out; neither "Oh, shit!", nor "Yippee!" We've been trying to figure out if we really want to go through with it... But I think we are gonna do it.
...sounds like you figured out in your heads that eventually it might happen so you're not terribly shocked, but the mental preparation of the thing is still missing. Enormous step, but inevitable.
I think I'll change my answer to: congrats, AlphaDad. ;)
Of course, now we have to:
-Stop drinking
-Remodel the attic
-Start a college fund
-Change the focus of our entire lives for 18+years.
Welcome to the land of never being able to stop worrying again.
:)
Congrats, and all!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 02:07:20 PM
Of course, now we have to:
-Stop drinking
-Remodel the attic
-Start a college fund
-Change the focus of our entire lives for 18+years.
You're going to have to learn to share too.
Unless of course, you go right to formula. :wink:
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 02:07:20 PM
Of course, now we have to:
-Stop drinking
-Remodel the attic
-Start a college fund
-Change the focus of our entire lives for 18+years.
Why do you have to stop drinking? I mean, sure, best not to be a raging drunk around your kids, but you don't have to teetotal either. I don't know about the remodeling--I'm assuming to make room? The rest, yeah, that's pretty spot on.
Quote from: Jenne on December 07, 2009, 02:15:35 PM
Why do you have to stop drinking? I mean, sure, best not to be a raging drunk around your kids, but you don't have to teetotal either. I don't know about the remodeling--I'm assuming to make room? The rest, yeah, that's pretty spot on.
I should have qualified "for the next nine months". It would be totally unfair of me to keep boozing it up while Mrs LMNO is on the wagon. And by "unfair", I mean "she would punch me in the junk."
And yeah, we have just enough room in the house right now for the two of us. It would be cheaper to remodel the attic than to find a new place to live.
Also, I should point out that we're not even through the first month yet. Right now, it's no more than a handful of cells-- I might be posting something a bit more meloncholy in the future.
:eek: PQRS!?
Can train it to do your evil bidding in no time. My sister's kid is about 14 months old: she been teaching him sign language and he knows about 20 or 30 words, including "Uncle Bonesy" (He signs it to me every time I see him on skype). Also he's tiny. Babies are hilariously tiny! Pretty much a win/win. Have fun!
Discordia: If we could out-breed Islam + Christianity the world would become intolerably awesome. GIT MEKKIN BEHBEHS!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 02:23:30 PM
Also, I should point out that we're not even through the first month yet. Right now, it's no more than a handful of cells-- I might be posting something a bit more meloncholy in the future.
Standard procedure: don't tell people (except your family, and like, discordians and whatnot) til 3 months. I'm sure everything will be fine. Wishing you all the best!
oh, and:
:mittens: he shoots, he scores!
It's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
"Sorry guys, we have to postpone de-liver-y for a Special Delivery."
Or not.
Congratulations LMNO and Mrs. LMNO!!!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 03:06:57 PM
It's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
You can always say you dropped acid before you left the house and don't want to mix your chemicals.......
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 07, 2009, 03:12:15 PM
"Sorry guys, we have to postpone de-liver-y for a Special Delivery."
Or not.
:crankey:
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:22:27 PM
Congratulations LMNO and Mrs. LMNO!!!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 03:06:57 PM
It's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
You can always say you dropped acid before you left the house and don't want to mix your chemicals.......
Or they can just say "We're not drinking right now", drink ginger ale, and hang out with their friends.
...and then hand them your registry from Babies R Us.
How exciting :)
Congrats dude.
fawkwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad?!!!!!!!!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 03:26:28 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:22:27 PM
Congratulations LMNO and Mrs. LMNO!!!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 03:06:57 PM
It's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
You can always say you dropped acid before you left the house and don't want to mix your chemicals.......
Or they can just say "We're not drinking right now", drink ginger ale, and hang out with their friends.
It was a joke.
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:43:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 03:26:28 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:22:27 PM
Congratulations LMNO and Mrs. LMNO!!!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 03:06:57 PM
It's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
You can always say you dropped acid before you left the house and don't want to mix your chemicals.......
Or they can just say "We're not drinking right now", drink ginger ale, and hang out with their friends.
It was a joke.
Yeah, I figured. I should have used an emote. Sorry about that.
Like, Whoa
\
(http://www.pajiba.com/assets_c/2009/05/const_172KeanuReeves-thumb-220x135-1581.jpg)
Have fun with all that dude.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 03:44:55 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:43:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 03:26:28 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:22:27 PM
Congratulations LMNO and Mrs. LMNO!!!
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 03:06:57 PM
It's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
You can always say you dropped acid before you left the house and don't want to mix your chemicals.......
Or they can just say "We're not drinking right now", drink ginger ale, and hang out with their friends.
It was a joke.
Yeah, I figured. I should have used an emote. Sorry about that.
We're good. :wink:
As for the cover story LMNO......
The one thought I have had, is are your friends tolerable when you are sober LMNO? I have some friends who require large amounts of alcohol to be able to sit at the same table with them for any length of time. Well I use the word friend very loosely.... :lulz:
Seriously though, once everything starts cooking in there, Mrs LMNO will probably want to sleep more than go out. Plus, when you have to pee every 5 minutes, a restaurant or bar is not the place to be.
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 01:58:54 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on December 07, 2009, 01:47:09 PM
usually the pee sticks are Boolean in nature....
:?
Haven't been to the Doctor's yet... I'm not above Eris trying to fuck with me and providing a false positive.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 07, 2009, 01:49:54 PM
Did you try to outsmart the calendar too?
No, we decided that instead of "trying to have" kids, we'd "stop trying not to" have them. It came as some surprise that one of us wasn't sterile, considering our histories.
Quote from: Jenne on December 07, 2009, 01:53:25 PM
Congrats?
That seems to be the big question. One of the odder things about this is the puzzled looks we gave each other when we found out; neither "Oh, shit!", nor "Yippee!" We've been trying to figure out if we really want to go through with it... But I think we are gonna do it.
Ahhhhhahahaha!
After having decided to 'stop trying not to have a kiddo' twice, and impregnating the wife twice, I have concluded that this is the most sure-fire way of getting the job done!
The people in my life that have actively tried to get pregnant without a 'whatever' mindset have had to make deals with mad scientists...
So, congrats!
One more spagparent on the board coming up (if all goes well)
Also, what TGRR said about the worrying thing... :eek:
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:51:24 PM
The one thought I have had, is are your friends tolerable when you are sober LMNO? I have some friends who require large amounts of alcohol to be able to sit at the same table with them for any length of time. Well I use the word friend very loosely.... :lulz:
Seriously though, once everything starts cooking in there, Mrs LMNO will probably want to sleep more than go out. Plus, when you have to pee every 5 minutes, a restaurant or bar is not the place to be.
That was more in line with the "don't tell anyone until the second trimester" thing.
It's not that our friends are intolerable while sober, it's that we have a well-established pattern of social drinking, and any change to that pattern will be immediately noticeable.
Doesn't really matter, though. If something bad happens, that would show in our attitudes just as much as if we were expecting, so the news would get out somehow.
Once it's properly underway, there's no reason to keep it secret, so no worries after that point.
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 03:57:30 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 07, 2009, 03:51:24 PM
The one thought I have had, is are your friends tolerable when you are sober LMNO? I have some friends who require large amounts of alcohol to be able to sit at the same table with them for any length of time. Well I use the word friend very loosely.... :lulz:
Seriously though, once everything starts cooking in there, Mrs LMNO will probably want to sleep more than go out. Plus, when you have to pee every 5 minutes, a restaurant or bar is not the place to be.
That was more in line with the "don't tell anyone until the second trimester" thing.
It's not that our friends are intolerable while sober, it's that we have a well-established pattern of social drinking, and any change to that pattern will be immediately noticeable.
Doesn't really matter, though. If something bad happens, that would show in our attitudes just as much as if we were expecting, so the news would get out somehow.
Once it's properly underway, there's no reason to keep it secret, so no worries after that point.
I understand completely. We never told anyone when I was pregnant other than the parents who were sworn to complete silence. Then we took bets on who would guess first and what gave it away. I would drink coke with a lime and no one knew it wasn't rum and coke. :wink:
If it's not even the first month, what do you have to suspect pregnancy? Did the pee stick spit out a plus sign? Or is she running later than normal? As someone who's period even after 15 years of cycles and hormone therapy via BC pills STILL isn't a perfect 28 days (I often run more like 40 :x ) I wouldn't fret too much about that, especially if there had been changes recently in stress levels, travel, diet, etc.
Also, stressing over being pregnant will delay the cycle as well. Sometimes I have to go and spend money on a test just to get the negative, stop worrying, and then within hours or even minutes I'll start bleeding.
...But I have endometriosis and am starting to exhibit signs of early menopause so uh...I may or may not be the best advice.
Either way, don't stress (lol, right?), know that whatever goes down you got a board of very weird strangers on your side, and that I can probably design some really adorable Discordian baby clothes for you in 9 months. Especially since I'm crocheting again!
Good luck, LMNO Family!
@ Suu: Signs that Mrs LMNO might be pregnant:
1) We stopped having her wear the kryptonite panties a few months ago, but did not cease certain nocturnal activities.
2) She is at least a week late, and has been tracking her cycle.
3) She peed upon the magical stick, which offered up a plus sign.
4) She "feels different."
On Friday, we see a doctor to do more tests to confirm.
Because items 1-4 do not absolutely confirm preganacy, that is why I mentioned the possibility of an "above average chance" in the OP.
Also, any fears I might have about the future mostly revolve around choosing exactly which horrific traumas to expose my child to.
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 04:18:15 PM
Also, any fears I might have about the future mostly revolve around choosing exactly which horrific traumas to expose my child to.
:lulz:
Fantastic
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 04:18:15 PM
Also, any fears I might have about the future mostly revolve around choosing exactly which horrific traumas to expose my child to.
Kids do that on their own.
Eh, I had the early signs and knew within 2 weeks of being late. And was right both times.
All females is different.
Weird and disturbing as the concept is, I think LMNO will make a hell of rad father, and I think the Mrs. will keep him from being too big of an idiot. I'm kind of looking forward to a wee little punk rocker rampaging through Boston.
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:23:57 PM
Weird and disturbing as the concept is, I think LMNO will make a hell of rad father, and I think the Mrs. will keep him from being too big of an idiot. I'm kind of looking forward to a wee little punk rocker rampaging through Boston.
Normal people cannot be trusted with raising children.
an addition, if we're going - wise: Great Cthulhu rolled over and went back to sleep in his corpse city of R'lyeh.
This usually means 4 more generations of LMNO's.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 04:24:50 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:23:57 PM
Weird and disturbing as the concept is, I think LMNO will make a hell of rad father, and I think the Mrs. will keep him from being too big of an idiot. I'm kind of looking forward to a wee little punk rocker rampaging through Boston.
Normal people cannot be trusted with raising children.
THIS.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 04:24:50 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:23:57 PM
Weird and disturbing as the concept is, I think LMNO will make a hell of rad father, and I think the Mrs. will keep him from being too big of an idiot. I'm kind of looking forward to a wee little punk rocker rampaging through Boston.
Normal people cannot be trusted with raising children.
EXACTLY.
LMNO-prime will be kicking ass and taking names while he's still in nappies.
On the other hand, if LMNO has a daughter... That poor bastard will never sleep again. :lol:
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:27:24 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 04:24:50 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:23:57 PM
Weird and disturbing as the concept is, I think LMNO will make a hell of rad father, and I think the Mrs. will keep him from being too big of an idiot. I'm kind of looking forward to a wee little punk rocker rampaging through Boston.
Normal people cannot be trusted with raising children.
EXACTLY.
LMNO-prime will be kicking ass and taking names while he's still in nappies.
On the other hand, if LMNO has a daughter... That poor bastard will never sleep again. :lol:
Normal people raising kids has put us where we are today.
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:27:24 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 04:24:50 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on December 07, 2009, 04:23:57 PM
Weird and disturbing as the concept is, I think LMNO will make a hell of rad father, and I think the Mrs. will keep him from being too big of an idiot. I'm kind of looking forward to a wee little punk rocker rampaging through Boston.
Normal people cannot be trusted with raising children.
EXACTLY.
LMNO-prime will be kicking ass and taking names while he's still in nappies.
On the other hand, if LMNO has a daughter... That poor bastard will never sleep again. :lol:
If I have a daughter,
she's going to end up traumatizing
me.
Also, Mrs LMNO and I have decided that if it's a son, we're raising him to be gay.
Quote from: Jenne on December 07, 2009, 04:23:02 PM
Eh, I had the early signs and knew within 2 weeks of being late. And was right both times.
All females is different.
Oh absolutely. It's never a good idea to gauge what you're feeling based on what other's say you should or should not be experiencing.
I had no warning. No sickness, nothing...Then I realized I hadn't had my period for 2 months (see 40 days bit), magic stick came up NEGATIVE and I figured I should get checked out anyway. Then my uterus spat the thing out. :x
There's a gajillion variables. Not everyone will get sick or tender, and some people are sick within days of conception. Apparently I did nothing to my mom, but my brother made her heave every day through the 2nd trimester, they also say you carry boys differently, old wives tale but a lot of women I've talked to believe it.
Oh wow. Congratulations, dude.
This made me think of the time when my former girlfriend merely brought up the possibilty of her becoming pregnant in conversation. the question was a perfectly reasonable "What if I get pregnant?" and my response was to run screaming from the room. Well, not quite, but you get the idea.
Hmm, I always forget you are married.
Anyway, congratulations, or something like that.
:)
wait 16 years and the boys and girls of Boston won't know what hit em, with a little lmno running around.
Congratulations, LMNO! Good luck & all that.
Way to go Alphasperms!
Get ready for 20 year lesson in discord :evil:
If she has that "feels different" feeling, I'd say it's pretty solid.
After my son I was pregnant 3 more times and knew within a week. You literally do sometimes (depending on the person) just "know" or "feel different".
I never even had to miss a period.
Lost em all, but whatever.
I got my boy. (was probably for the best)
But it's a weird thing. Sometimes you just know.
I wish you guys luck. It's pretty awesome!
I just want you to know that if you start a "suggest names for my offspring" thread, we expect you to stick with the results.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 07, 2009, 07:10:25 PM
I just want you to know that if you start a "suggest names for my offspring" thread, we expect you to stick with the results.
I vote "BEARFORCE1".
Subsequent children should be numbered sequentially.
:lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2009, 07:11:17 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 07, 2009, 07:10:25 PM
I just want you to know that if you start a "suggest names for my offspring" thread, we expect you to stick with the results.
I vote "BEARFORCE1".
Subsequent children should be numbered sequentially.
Fread over, even before it was begun.
PQRS would be a good one too :)
ANYWAY CONGRATS
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 01:58:54 PM
That seems to be the big question. One of the odder things about this is the puzzled looks we gave each other when we found out; neither "Oh, shit!", nor "Yippee!" We've been trying to figure out if we really want to go through with it... But I think we are gonna do it.
QuoteAlso, I should point out that we're not even through the first month yet. Right now, it's no more than a handful of cells-- I might be posting something a bit more meloncholy in the future.
... would a joke about stemcell research be inappropriate here?
QuoteIt's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
get creative with excuses. slowly turn up the ridiculosity, until in about 3 months or so, you cannot keep a straight face anymore.
Congrats!!! :D
This morning, I came very close to convincing her that, if it was a boy, to call him Joshua Norton.
My boy's initials are going to be MSG. No troll. And my wife is okay with that.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 07, 2009, 10:04:07 PM
QuoteIt's gonna be pretty damn obvious to all our friends when we see them and say, "oh, we're not drinking right now."
There's no good cover story for that when you consider the fact that our current social habits revolve around bars, nightclubs, and restaraunts.
get creative with excuses. slowly turn up the ridiculosity, until in about 3 months or so, you cannot keep a straight face anymore.
I like that idea. Might as well have fun with it!
Congradulations, Alphapants! Heres to a Betashirt? PQRS? Something like that.
congrats, LMNO.
i, too, am expecting my first born. found out about a month ago. baby is due in july.
maybe we can form some sort of support group.
we used the same method: let's quit trying NOT to have one and see what happens.
Congratulations, Rong!
Good god, from this thread we should all start trying to have a child to avoid having one.....
Seriously, y'all do know they make pills to stop all this reproduction stuff right?
I mean these little humans sound all cute and sweet and cuddly in theory, and they aren't half bad until they learn to talk...
Talking is fine. It's the screaming that befuddles me.
LMNO
-Third Circuit for life!
i'm so getting him/her one of these:
(http://images9.cafepress.com/product/26695599v2_225x225_Front.jpg)
Quote from: LMNO on December 08, 2009, 08:29:12 PM
Talking is fine. It's the screaming that befuddles me.
LMNO
-Third Circuit for life!
Which is liable to occur often and without discernable rhyme or reason.....
I say anyone else who wants kids should rent a kid from an existing member first....... :lulz:
Quote from: Khara on December 08, 2009, 08:27:48 PM
Good god, from this thread we should all start trying to have a child to avoid having one.....
Seriously, y'all do know they make pills to stop all this reproduction stuff right?
I mean these little humans sound all cute and sweet and cuddly in theory, and they aren't half bad until they learn to talk...
"Stopping trying not to conceive" is actually a time-honored and effective way of conceiving.
My second child was conceived that way. I tried for two years to conceive the first one, complete with taking a horrid medication to suppress the effects of my brain tumor which, theoretically, renders me sterile. I didn't get pregnant until we'd utterly given up, so for the second one, we decided not to try, but rather to simply forgo birth control and forget about it.
The third one, though, made it through against unbelievable odds, including fibroids, the brain tumor, AND an IUD. :lulz:
There was no way I couldn't have her after all that! That's a tough one. And indeed, she is.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 08, 2009, 09:09:56 PM
The third one, though, made it through against unbelievable odds, including fibroids, the brain tumor, AND an IUD. :lulz:
Good lord!
Yer lucky she didn't
chew her way out of you!
Also, congrats to you Rong!
Congratulations LMNO.
I suggest you start learning the art of power napping now.
Quote from: Khara on December 08, 2009, 09:04:10 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 08, 2009, 08:29:12 PM
Talking is fine. It's the screaming that befuddles me.
LMNO
-Third Circuit for life!
Which is liable to occur often and without discernable rhyme or reason.....
I say anyone else who wants kids should rent a kid from an existing member first....... :lulz:
I would agree and laugh with you, except it really is different when it's your own. I can't stand other people's children, I learned first hand over a period of 9 months, but I'm gaga for my monkey...
Congratulations, LMNO.
There's a tradition here....a LEGACY to continue.
Case in point:
1. http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=20949.0
2. http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=601;sa=showPosts
3. ___TBA____
Thank you for offsetting the cabbage breeding.
:cheers:
oh and what Net said....the power naps saved my ass.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 08, 2009, 08:04:12 PM
My boy's initials are going to be MSG. No troll. And my wife is okay with that.
:lulz: my kid's spell BAT
yes, it was on purpose. no, the father had no clue what i was doing
Quote from: LMNO on December 08, 2009, 08:01:16 PM
This morning, I came very close to convincing her that, if it was a boy, to call him Joshua Norton.
YES. THIS.
You should hear some of the dorky shit I came up with.
Parenthood is ridiculously fun, and it comes with extra bonuses when you teach your kid critical thinking at an early age.
Needless to say, mine constantly fuck with me... hence the fun.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 09, 2009, 05:54:07 AM
Parenthood is ridiculously fun, and it comes with extra bonuses when you teach your kid critical thinking at an early age.
Needless to say, mine constantly fuck with me... hence the fun.
How'd you do that? I learned way too late for me to be any good at it, but I wanted to teach my monkey how.
My kids' initials don't spell anything fun. I have JCA (her grandma, who she is the spitting image of, is so into this kid that she promptly changed her email to jcagma.something.com) SHA and OCS.
The last one's middle name is "Clementine", because I was totally obsessed with clementines throughout my pregnancy and ate thousands of them. Luckily, I did not give the other two the middle names "Hard-Boiled Egg" and "Pepperoncini".
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on December 09, 2009, 05:55:18 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 09, 2009, 05:54:07 AM
Parenthood is ridiculously fun, and it comes with extra bonuses when you teach your kid critical thinking at an early age.
Needless to say, mine constantly fuck with me... hence the fun.
How'd you do that? I learned way too late for me to be any good at it, but I wanted to teach my monkey how.
The easiest (and funnest) way is to tell them lots of bullshit, really obvious silly bullshit to begin with, and watch them realize you're fucking with them, then laugh. They will learn that misinformation is funny, and to not just accept things they are told as truth. Eventually, they start to become suspicious of everything you say, and will think about it hard before they believe you. It's easy to find it funny when they start doing it back to you, which they totally start at a young age, so they get reinforcement for this behavior through your delight and laughter, and the BEST is pretending you believe them, so they can get a kick out of feeding you misinformation.
Children absolutely thrive with the sense of power and control they get from realizing they can make adults believe bullshit. It also teaches them a sense of responsibility with their words, because they usually learn quickly with that power that you can hurt people by telling them things that are untrue.
You must always make sure your bullshit is compassionate bullshit that won't hurt their feelings, i.e. never pranking them or misleading them in a way that leaves them feeling duped, foolish, or disappointed, or putting them down by laughing at them for believing something silly. You also have to still punish them for lying for personal gain, and this teaches them that harmless, silly pranking is funny, but misleading people in order to get their way is not funny and hurts people they care about. Ideally, you will end up with an ethical kid with a sense of humor, ethics, and critical thinking skills.
We should work on a Discordian addendum to baby care manuals!
Also, congrats to LMNO! I wish you guys all the best :)
Interesting, Nigel. That's pretty much what my dad did to me and my brother.
Also, Mrs LMNO is now MAMA T.
I have become L PAPA.
And, with no prompting from the board, she is calling the lump of cells "Squidly".
I know. Weird.
Cthulu?
I'd probably have better luck calling it "Hastur".
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 09, 2009, 06:09:45 AM
The easiest (and funnest) way is to tell them lots of bullshit, really obvious silly bullshit to begin with, and watch them realize you're fucking with them, then laugh. They will learn that misinformation is funny, and to not just accept things they are told as truth. Eventually, they start to become suspicious of everything you say, and will think about it hard before they believe you.
theory: Enrico's Sacred Bull (Freeky, search the forum for it if you haven't read, it's short and awesome. It's also at the BIP wiki I think.)
practice: some Calvin & Hobbes cartoons, where Calvin asks his dad some difficult question ("where does the sun go at night?", etc) and his father coming up with unbelievably far-fetched answers (though sometimes it seems dad just makes something up cause he doesnt want to admit he doesn't know).
QuoteChildren absolutely thrive with the sense of power and control they get from realizing they can make adults believe bullshit. It also teaches them a sense of responsibility with their words, because they usually learn quickly with that power that you can hurt people by telling them things that are untrue.
You must always make sure your bullshit is compassionate bullshit that won't hurt their feelings, i.e. never pranking them or misleading them in a way that leaves them feeling duped, foolish, or disappointed, or putting them down by laughing at them for believing something silly. You also have to still punish them for lying for personal gain, and this teaches them that harmless, silly pranking is funny, but misleading people in order to get their way is not funny and hurts people they care about. Ideally, you will end up with an ethical kid with a sense of humor, ethics, and critical thinking skills.
hey Nigel, weren't you, Khara and Jenne doing some kind of Discordian parenting production thing? What you wrote here should totally go into that collection!
Hah, I thought the Sacred Bull story was hilarious.
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 01:01:34 PM
Interesting, Nigel. That's pretty much what my dad did to me and my brother.
Also, Mrs LMNO is now MAMA T.
I have become L PAPA.
And, with no prompting from the board, she is calling the lump of cells "Squidly".
I know. Weird.
:lulz: they look like little squid things
So it's for sure now?
Nope. Still not for sure. Doctor's visit Friday.
The title of this thread may change to "move along, nothing to see here" any time over the next few months.
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 05:39:30 PM
Nope. Still not for sure. Doctor's visit Friday.
The title of this thread may change to "move along, nothing to see here" any time over the next few months.
Then disregard my comment about your sperms in the other thread. For now.
Hey LMNO,
I read the first 3 pages of this thread and then skipped ahead :D
Firstly - congratulations!
Secondly - Normal name....give him/her a NORMAL FUCKING NAME.
Thirdly - teach him/her the ways of SSOOKN.
Fourthly - I know nothing about raising small kids but, like this thread, jumped ahead to teenagers. So I won't be of much use to you for the next 12 years.
Fifthly - Prophet.
Quote from: Mangrove on December 09, 2009, 06:46:07 PM
Secondly - Normal name....give him/her a NORMAL FUCKING NAME.
So, "Ramond Luxury Yacht" is out of the question?
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 06:55:12 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 09, 2009, 06:46:07 PM
Secondly - Normal name....give him/her a NORMAL FUCKING NAME.
So, "Ramond Luxury Yacht" is out of the question?
"Normal" is relative. Remember that. ;)
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 06:55:12 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 09, 2009, 06:46:07 PM
Secondly - Normal name....give him/her a NORMAL FUCKING NAME.
So, "Ramond Luxury Yacht" is out of the question?
Ahh yes...there's an exception to every rule. I think Raymond Luxury Yacht is an excellent name.
Quote from: Mangrove on December 09, 2009, 07:03:11 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 06:55:12 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 09, 2009, 06:46:07 PM
Secondly - Normal name....give him/her a NORMAL FUCKING NAME.
So, "Ramond Luxury Yacht" is out of the question?
Ahh yes...there's an exception to every rule. I think Raymond Luxury Yacht is an excellent name.
Pronounced "Throatwobbler Mangrove", I am assuming.
Indeed.
Now, cue the Dead Parrot Sketch.
You might as well give it a weirdo name, since they'll probably be able to connect their name to something they don't like no matter what.
Example: My little brother now loathes Star Wars because he was named "Luke," even though my parents didn't have Star Wars in mind. :lulz: Completely normal name roont by approximately 1,782,953 spags who think it's hilarious to spout a certain Darth Vader quote when they meet someone named "Luke".
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2009, 07:01:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 09, 2009, 06:55:12 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 09, 2009, 06:46:07 PM
Secondly - Normal name....give him/her a NORMAL FUCKING NAME.
So, "Ramond Luxury Yacht" is out of the question?
"Normal" is relative. Remember that. ;)
None of my relatives are normal.
Quote from: Sir Remington III on December 09, 2009, 07:53:46 AM
We should work on a Discordian addendum to baby care manuals!
Also, congrats to LMNO! I wish you guys all the best :)
I had a plan to write a Discordian parenting book, but then my life blew up and I got distracted.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 09, 2009, 03:39:34 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 09, 2009, 06:09:45 AM
The easiest (and funnest) way is to tell them lots of bullshit, really obvious silly bullshit to begin with, and watch them realize you're fucking with them, then laugh. They will learn that misinformation is funny, and to not just accept things they are told as truth. Eventually, they start to become suspicious of everything you say, and will think about it hard before they believe you.
theory: Enrico's Sacred Bull (Freeky, search the forum for it if you haven't read, it's short and awesome. It's also at the BIP wiki I think.)
practice: some Calvin & Hobbes cartoons, where Calvin asks his dad some difficult question ("where does the sun go at night?", etc) and his father coming up with unbelievably far-fetched answers (though sometimes it seems dad just makes something up cause he doesnt want to admit he doesn't know).
QuoteChildren absolutely thrive with the sense of power and control they get from realizing they can make adults believe bullshit. It also teaches them a sense of responsibility with their words, because they usually learn quickly with that power that you can hurt people by telling them things that are untrue.
You must always make sure your bullshit is compassionate bullshit that won't hurt their feelings, i.e. never pranking them or misleading them in a way that leaves them feeling duped, foolish, or disappointed, or putting them down by laughing at them for believing something silly. You also have to still punish them for lying for personal gain, and this teaches them that harmless, silly pranking is funny, but misleading people in order to get their way is not funny and hurts people they care about. Ideally, you will end up with an ethical kid with a sense of humor, ethics, and critical thinking skills.
hey Nigel, weren't you, Khara and Jenne doing some kind of Discordian parenting production thing? What you wrote here should totally go into that collection!
Thanks!
I should save it, for if that ever actually happens...
Probably the best pregnancy reaction ever.
"Well, it certainly is, hmm, occurring? I suppose?"
Congrats.
You can do a "normal" name but still be "different". Both my daughter and soon-to-be son have names that are the kind of names you'll never find on those key-chains they make with kids' names already on them. But, we didn't name them Apple or Blanket either. They're names that are used, but just not by very many people, and they're not the trendy names that show up in the top 50 names lists.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 10, 2009, 10:52:50 AM
You can do a "normal" name but still be "different". Both my daughter and soon-to-be son have names that are the kind of names you'll never find on those key-chains they make with kids' names already on them. But, we didn't name them Apple or Blanket either. They're names that are used, but just not by very many people, and they're not the trendy names that show up in the top 50 names lists.
yeppa....
my first son's name is Henry. that's about as 'normal' as you can get, and yet it's not on the keychain racks anymore... people comment on it not being common.
My second son's name is Theron. Nobody hardly knows that name but it gets a good response from people.
They are both family names.... look back in your tree and i'm sure you can find some gems that are not common, but not artificial (?) sounding.
My grandfather (well, one of them) was named "Marcus". I keep threatening to insist on it.
Yep, There's an Archibald Willard. Don't hear too many Archibalds anymore. Oh yeah, he's the guy who painted the Spirit of 76 painting, with the drummer and the fife player. My big claim to fame, or something.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 10, 2009, 02:30:11 PM
Yep, There's an Archibald Willard. Don't hear too many Archibalds anymore. Oh yeah, he's the guy who painted the Spirit of 76 painting, with the drummer and the fife player. My big claim to fame, or something.
Did he go by Archie?
you gotta consider the fact that other people will shorten his/her name for them to some extent....
can be controlled somewhat, but if it's too tempting like Archibald->Archie, then insisting on the formal name is probably blowing against the wind....
of course, you still have some sway.
My mother in law, when informed that my first son would be named Henry (which she didn't like), said that she would refer to him as 'Hank'.....
I told her that we were the ones that would ultimately determine what he called her, though, and that unless she wanted to be poo-mama, she had better call him Henry...
Quote from: Iptuous on December 10, 2009, 02:49:17 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 10, 2009, 02:30:11 PM
Yep, There's an Archibald Willard. Don't hear too many Archibalds anymore. Oh yeah, he's the guy who painted the Spirit of 76 painting, with the drummer and the fife player. My big claim to fame, or something.
Did he go by Archie?
you gotta consider the fact that other people will shorten his/her name for them to some extent....
can be controlled somewhat, but if it's too tempting like Archibald->Archie, then insisting on the formal name is probably blowing against the wind....
of course, you still have some sway.
My mother in law, when informed that my first son would be named Henry (which she didn't like), said that she would refer to him as 'Hank'.....
I told her that we were the ones that would ultimately determine what he called her, though, and that unless she wanted to be poo-mama, she had better call him Henry...
My father in law didn't like "Ian" much, and was busy trying to think of nicknames. I thought of one for him. He desisted.
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 01:45:50 PM
It appears that there is a greater than average chance that I will become a father.
Ask me anything.
HOW IS BABBY FORMED?
Quote from: GIGGLES on December 10, 2009, 03:41:26 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 01:45:50 PM
It appears that there is a greater than average chance that I will become a father.
Ask me anything.
HOW IS BABBY FORMED?
LMNO'S WIFE PENISED HIM/
Quote from: LMNO on December 10, 2009, 02:29:34 PM
My grandfather (well, one of them) was named "Marcus". I keep threatening to insist on it.
A boy's name I was going to go with was Marcus Aurelius Constantius. No, really. There ain't a kid who would dare make fun of the great Roman emperors. I was even thinking of keeping the gens Marcus and then changing the nomen and cognomen for subsequent sons, then I realized I'm not George Foreman and no one outside of a classics education would get it anyway.
-Suu
Roman for Boys, Byzantine for Girls. She'll never have kids anyway so wtf? I have no life.
People used to make jokes about what people would shorten Little Orange's name to, but I've never worried much about it because if anyone calls her something she doesn't like she'll just accidentally bump into them at the top of staircase. Oops!
I have a friend whose sons are named Galileo and Archimedes. Such cute boys!
Quote from: Suu on December 10, 2009, 04:30:00 PM
then I realized I'm not George Foreman
A hard lesson. I'm proud of you.
What you really need to do is get really trashed and try to make fun of every name you have on your list. If you can turn it into an annoying chant..... then don't name the poor kid that because damn, that's just fucking cruel.
It's all well and fine to come up with "original" names and they sound really cool until your kid is on the playground surrounded by a group of name calling poop flinging monkeys. And trust, that is what is going to happen no matter where you send them to school.
Quote from: Khara on December 10, 2009, 08:00:49 PM
What you really need to do is get really trashed and try to make fun of every name you have on your list. If you can turn it into an annoying chant..... then don't name the poor kid that because damn, that's just fucking cruel.
It's all well and fine to come up with "original" names and they sound really cool until your kid is on the playground surrounded by a group of name calling poop flinging monkeys. And trust, that is what is going to happen no matter where you send them to school.
There's always the option of making gloves for the kid with broken glass embedded in the knuckles.
Quote from: Khara on December 10, 2009, 08:00:49 PM
What you really need to do is get really trashed and try to make fun of every name you have on your list. If you can turn it into an annoying chant..... then don't name the poor kid that because damn, that's just fucking cruel.
It's all well and fine to come up with "original" names and they sound really cool until your kid is on the playground surrounded by a group of name calling poop flinging monkeys. And trust, that is what is going to happen no matter where you send them to school.
Fuck that noise. Name him Sue!!!
my grandpa's name was Edgar, and i'm pushing for Edgar Malcolm (if it's a boy). my wife has an Agnes and an Adilaide in her family that she's pushing for (if it's a girl), but i don't like either of those names. Agnes is tolerable, i guess, but Adilaide rhymes too much with Gatorade.
also, Iptuous: the band Kepone has a song called Henry - it's got one of the prettiest bridges i've ever heard. just passing it on.
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on December 10, 2009, 08:16:33 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 10, 2009, 08:00:49 PM
What you really need to do is get really trashed and try to make fun of every name you have on your list. If you can turn it into an annoying chant..... then don't name the poor kid that because damn, that's just fucking cruel.
It's all well and fine to come up with "original" names and they sound really cool until your kid is on the playground surrounded by a group of name calling poop flinging monkeys. And trust, that is what is going to happen no matter where you send them to school.
Fuck that noise. Name him Sue!!!
Or Enrico, if it turns out to be a girl.
Quote from: rong on December 10, 2009, 08:21:00 PM
my grandpa's name was Edgar, and i'm pushing for Edgar Malcolm (if it's a boy). my wife has an Agnes and an Adilaide in her family that she's pushing for (if it's a girl), but i don't like either of those names. Agnes is tolerable, i guess, but Adilaide rhymes too much with Gatorade.
also, Iptuous: the band Kepone has a song called Henry - it's got one of the prettiest bridges i've ever heard. just passing it on.
I'll have to check it out.
also, ever since i heard the Dr. Dog song, "Adeline", i've really been fond of the name. maybe that is more tolerable to you and close enough for the lady...
Quote from: rong on December 10, 2009, 08:21:00 PM
my grandpa's name was Edgar, and i'm pushing for Edgar Malcolm (if it's a boy). my wife has an Agnes and an Adilaide in her family that she's pushing for (if it's a girl), but i don't like either of those names. Agnes is tolerable, i guess, but Adilaide rhymes too much with Gatorade.
My grandpa's name was also Edgar. I don't like it enough to use it. Also don't like the name of his grandma: Jersey. My wife was seriously pushing for the name Eleanor before I talked her into Eris.
Quote from: LMNO on December 10, 2009, 02:29:34 PM
My grandfather (well, one of them) was named "Marcus". I keep threatening to insist on it.
So you could call him "Mark II" !!
Quote from: Suu on December 10, 2009, 04:30:00 PMA boy's name I was going to go with was Marcus Aurelius Constantius. No, really. There ain't a kid who would dare make fun of the great Roman emperors.
too easy:
- "LOL your name is M.A.C. did your dad fuck an Apple or something LOL"
- "No! I'm named after a GREAT Roman emperor!"
- "LOL so you're a BIG M.A.C. :lol:"
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2009, 08:07:43 PM
Quote from: Khara on December 10, 2009, 08:00:49 PM
What you really need to do is get really trashed and try to make fun of every name you have on your list. If you can turn it into an annoying chant..... then don't name the poor kid that because damn, that's just fucking cruel.
It's all well and fine to come up with "original" names and they sound really cool until your kid is on the playground surrounded by a group of name calling poop flinging monkeys. And trust, that is what is going to happen no matter where you send them to school.
There's always the option of making gloves for the kid with broken glass embedded in the knuckles.
This is true, and if you melt the milk jugs just right, they have a bit of flexibility in them....
it's too bac chlamydia has such negative connotations, cuz i think it's actually a nice sounding word.
"Giraffe" doesn't have too much negative connotations, does it? But would it be a boy or a girl's name?
i'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat. -M. Hedberg
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/natural_parenting.png)
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 10, 2009, 08:52:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 10, 2009, 02:29:34 PM
My grandfather (well, one of them) was named "Marcus". I keep threatening to insist on it.
So you could call him "Mark II" !!
Quote from: Suu on December 10, 2009, 04:30:00 PMA boy's name I was going to go with was Marcus Aurelius Constantius. No, really. There ain't a kid who would dare make fun of the great Roman emperors.
too easy:
- "LOL your name is M.A.C. did your dad fuck an Apple or something LOL"
- "No! I'm named after a GREAT Roman emperor!"
- "LOL so you're a BIG M.A.C. :lol:"
And going with currently naming trends, that bully kid would probably be called Elvis or Anakin anyway.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 10, 2009, 09:53:05 PM
"Giraffe" doesn't have too much negative connotations, does it? But would it be a boy or a girl's name?
that was my son's imaginary friend's name :scared:
no shit. "giraffe".
Quote from: rong on December 10, 2009, 09:19:11 PM
it's too bac chlamydia has such negative connotations, cuz i think it's actually a nice sounding word.
i just noticed an unintentional pun/freudian slip (i'm not sure if the clap is a bacteria or virus, but either way . . .)
Quote from: Squid on December 11, 2009, 07:09:02 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 10, 2009, 09:53:05 PM
"Giraffe" doesn't have too much negative connotations, does it? But would it be a boy or a girl's name?
that was my son's imaginary friend's name :scared:
no shit. "giraffe".
Was it a boy or a girl?
(or a giraffe?)
My daughter's imaginary friend is named "Chickadee". But she's a chicken, not a chickadee. Go figure.
Mine was He-Man for a while after my brother was born. I had an imaginary friend I called Antnoots apparently, and then the day my brother, Anthony, was born, he ceased to exist. That still creeps my mom out to this day.
Quote from: LMNO on December 07, 2009, 02:23:30 PM
It would be totally unfair of me to keep boozing it up while Mrs LMNO is on the wagon. And by "unfair", I mean "she would punch me in the junk."
Let her punch you in the junk it's already done its job, you don't need it anymore.
IS THERE BABBY?!
COUGH IT UP, LMNO. WHATSA VERDICT?
BABBY NO BABBY?
BEARD NO BEARD?
MUSTACHE?
:gheyforum: Not gettin any younger here.
In the meantime, video of LMNOs junk getting punched.
:love:
I CAN HAZ MAK BABBY.
Quote from: LMNO on December 12, 2009, 05:57:29 PM
I CAN HAZ MAK BABBY.
:mittens:
Or
:x
Or
:horrormirth:
Or all of the above!
THE DISCORDIANS CONTINUE TO BREED.
YEAY BABBY!!!
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/density.png)
:lulz:
Congrats, man!
helluvan adventure... :)
whatever you do, don't start looking up the statistics for what can go wrong.... makes for a long 9 months.
Quote from: Iptuous on December 13, 2009, 03:05:35 AM
Congrats, man!
helluvan adventure... :)
whatever you do, don't start looking up the statistics for what can go wrong.... makes for a long 9 months.
Definitely. And don't do it after the kid is born too, cuz you'll start thinking that something is wrong when they're just fine.
"mommy groups"= BAD IDEA
I can't see Mrs. LMNO in a mommy group.
I could see her laughing as she got up, said "you people are what's wrong with kids" and walked out.
Whatever you do, dont look it in the eyes as soon as its born. They have some sort of mind control power that turns your brain into jelly and then you fall prey to their every whim. Babies are the REAL masters! Really, I did it once. The baby wasnt even mine but it still had the same effect. Even though I dont think they can see yet (I could have sworn I saw her cute little nose wiggle and she SMELLED me).. Still pretty fucking amazing though.
Quote from: Suu on December 13, 2009, 08:17:34 AM
I can't see Mrs. LMNO in a mommy group.
Unless it's to troll them. :lulz:
Gratz again, Dude. You'll make a fine dada.
Everything you need to know about having a baby you can learn from watching the 4th series of Coupling (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Coupling_episodes#Series_Four).
Incidentally, and as it should be apparent, anybody who has my facebook account: Do not say anything about this yet, as we "haven't told" anyone yet.
This is due to the fact that if it turns out to be a retard, we're flushing it.
Well, that's ONE way to put it. :lol:
This is one of the positives about having neither religious nor moral judgements regarding abortion.
Troof. But there are special needs, and then there are special needs. Sometimes a much tougher decision to make, regardless of race, religion or creed (or lack thereof), so to speak.
The truth is that Mrs LMNO is in her 30s, and has a "greater risk" for the kind of chromosomically fucked up shit to happen. She makes no apologies for wanting to terminate if that happens.
Yeah, I don't blame her. Luckily, there's allllll sorts of tests for that shit these days.
Quote from: LMNO on December 14, 2009, 01:36:02 PM
The truth is that Mrs LMNO is in her 30s, and has a "greater risk" for the kind of chromosomically fucked up shit to happen. She makes no apologies for wanting to terminate if that happens.
Good thinking, though the risk doesn't seriously jump until she's in her 40s, IIRC.
Besides, you've just been elevated to "Fertility God", so if need be, you can just walk down the street with an old IG 8 gauge coach gun loaded with your sperm, firing at random groups of women.
Hey, it beats letting most of those retards breed on their own, right? Get busy.
In this post, I demonstrate my fertilization technique:
:spluff:
Quote from: LMNO on December 14, 2009, 02:08:22 PM
In this post, I demonstrate my fertilization technique:
:spluff:
Far be it from me to get in another God's business, but your aim is a little off.
That's only step one. I like to be thourough.
Perhaps Alpapance is trying for Facebabies cos watching them being born is much moar lulzier :evil:
A little late on the subject but Congrats!
Quote from: LMNO on December 14, 2009, 02:28:49 PM
That's only step one. I like to be thourough.
:lulz: