Wow. Oh, I... Wow. Um...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

We should work on a Discordian addendum to baby care manuals!

Also, congrats to LMNO! I wish you guys all the best 

I had a plan to write a Discordian parenting book, but then my life blew up and I got distracted.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The easiest (and funnest) way is to tell them lots of bullshit, really obvious silly bullshit to begin with, and watch them realize you're fucking with them, then laugh. They will learn that misinformation is funny, and to not just accept things they are told as truth. Eventually, they start to become suspicious of everything you say, and will think about it hard before they believe you.

theory: Enrico's Sacred Bull (Freeky, search the forum for it if you haven't read, it's short and awesome. It's also at the BIP wiki I think.)

practice: some Calvin & Hobbes cartoons, where Calvin asks his dad some difficult question ("where does the sun go at night?", etc) and his father coming up with unbelievably far-fetched answers (though sometimes it seems dad just makes something up cause he doesnt want to admit he doesn't know).

Children absolutely thrive with the sense of power and control they get from realizing they can make adults believe bullshit. It also teaches them a sense of responsibility with their words, because they usually learn quickly with that power that you can hurt people by telling them things that are untrue.

You must always make sure your bullshit is compassionate bullshit that won't hurt their feelings, i.e. never pranking them or misleading them in a way that leaves them feeling duped, foolish, or disappointed, or putting them down by laughing at them for believing something silly. You also have to still punish them for lying for personal gain, and this teaches them that harmless, silly pranking is funny, but misleading people in order to get their way is not funny and hurts people they care about. Ideally, you will end up with an ethical kid with a sense of humor, ethics, and critical thinking skills.

hey Nigel, weren't you, Khara and Jenne doing some kind of Discordian parenting production thing? What you wrote here should totally go into that collection!

Thanks!

I should save it, for if that ever actually happens...

[Eater of Clowns]

Probably the best pregnancy reaction ever.

"Well, it certainly is, hmm, occurring?  I suppose?"

Congrats.

[AFK]

You can do a "normal" name but still be "different".  Both my daughter and soon-to-be son have names that are the kind of names you'll never find on those key-chains they make with kids' names already on them.  But, we didn't name them Apple or Blanket either.  They're names that are used, but just not by very many people, and they're not the trendy names that show up in the top 50 names lists. 

[Elder Iptuous]

You can do a "normal" name but still be "different".  Both my daughter and soon-to-be son have names that are the kind of names you'll never find on those key-chains they make with kids' names already on them.  But, we didn't name them Apple or Blanket either.  They're names that are used, but just not by very many people, and they're not the trendy names that show up in the top 50 names lists. 

yeppa....
my first son's name is Henry.  that's about as 'normal' as you can get, and yet it's not on the keychain racks anymore... people comment on it not being common.
My second son's name is Theron.  Nobody hardly knows that name but it gets a good response from people.
They are both family names....  look back in your tree and i'm sure you can find some gems that are not common, but not artificial (?) sounding.

[LMNO]

My grandfather (well, one of them) was named "Marcus".  I keep threatening to insist on it.

[AFK]

Yep,  There's an Archibald Willard.  Don't hear too many Archibalds anymore.  Oh yeah, he's the guy who painted the Spirit of 76 painting, with the drummer and the fife player.  My big claim to fame, or something.  

[Elder Iptuous]

Yep,  There's an Archibald Willard.  Don't hear too many Archibalds anymore.  Oh yeah, he's the guy who painted the Spirit of 76 painting, with the drummer and the fife player.  My big claim to fame, or something.  

Did he go by Archie?
you gotta consider the fact that other people will shorten his/her name for them to some extent....
can be controlled somewhat, but if it's too tempting like Archibald->Archie, then insisting on the formal name is probably blowing against the wind....

of course, you still have some sway.
My mother in law, when informed that my first son would be named Henry (which she didn't like), said that she would refer to him as 'Hank'.....
I told her that we were the ones that would ultimately determine what he called her, though, and that unless she wanted to be poo-mama, she had better call him Henry...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yep,  There's an Archibald Willard.  Don't hear too many Archibalds anymore.  Oh yeah, he's the guy who painted the Spirit of 76 painting, with the drummer and the fife player.  My big claim to fame, or something.  

Did he go by Archie?
you gotta consider the fact that other people will shorten his/her name for them to some extent....
can be controlled somewhat, but if it's too tempting like Archibald->Archie, then insisting on the formal name is probably blowing against the wind....

of course, you still have some sway.
My mother in law, when informed that my first son would be named Henry (which she didn't like), said that she would refer to him as 'Hank'.....
I told her that we were the ones that would ultimately determine what he called her, though, and that unless she wanted to be poo-mama, she had better call him Henry...

My father in law didn't like "Ian" much, and was busy trying to think of nicknames.  I thought of one for him.  He desisted.

[GIGGLES]

It appears that there is a greater than average chance that I will become a father.





Ask me anything.

HOW IS BABBY FORMED?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It appears that there is a greater than average chance that I will become a father.





Ask me anything.

HOW IS BABBY FORMED?

LMNO'S WIFE PENISED HIM/

[Suu]

My grandfather (well, one of them) was named "Marcus".  I keep threatening to insist on it.

A boy's name I was going to go with was Marcus Aurelius Constantius. No, really. There ain't a kid who would dare make fun of the great Roman emperors. I was even thinking of keeping the gens Marcus and then changing the nomen and cognomen for subsequent sons, then I realized I'm not George Foreman and no one outside of a classics education would get it anyway.


-Suu
Roman for Boys, Byzantine for Girls. She'll never have kids anyway so wtf? I have no life.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

People used to make jokes about what people would shorten Little Orange's name to, but I've never worried much about it because if anyone calls her something she doesn't like she'll just accidentally bump into them at the top of staircase. Oops!

I have a friend whose sons are named Galileo and Archimedes. Such cute boys!

[Brotep]

then I realized I'm not George Foreman

A hard lesson.  I'm proud of you.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

What you really need to do is get really trashed and try to make fun of every name you have on your list.  If you can turn it into an annoying chant.....  then don't name the poor kid that because damn, that's just fucking cruel.

It's all well and fine to come up with "original" names and they sound really cool until your kid is on the playground surrounded by a group of name calling poop flinging monkeys.  And trust, that is what is going to happen no matter where you send them to school.