Guys, from my foreing POV it seems Oregon-Portland has a lot of things going on, and i dont mean just the references to it that you all make, seems to me i see it mentioned in the news, that some really old aquaintances from 10 years ago and news i run into seem to emanate/go to portland. I know im not making a detailed or huge case for it, but its because i dont seem to know how to express it and i dont think i could pinpoint specific examples because i havent been keeping track of them.
What is it about that city? Or is it just my personal coincidences? Or is it just that its one of the bigger cities of the USA? (done no research about it yet)
This video tells you everything you need to know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuC_l3ymXhM
Portland is the land of too much booze and wildly inappropriate relationships.
And dead women who keep singing, long after they mummify.
I was born there, but I've never lived there beyond my first year.
Don't know much about it really. It's got a hipster scene, and captain planet lives there.
Also, there are old tunnels there from the mining days, and feral homeless people and worse live in them. Nobody is sure how many of these savages are down there, but let's just say that mothers keep their children far from the storm drains. Sometimes sinkholes open up, and normal folks like you and I are buried alive or, worse, dragged screaming off to their dooms by the filthy clutches of above-mentioned killer hobos.
The sole exception is The Pipe, which the homeless shun, as the Old Man lives down there, just sitting in his lawn chair. Nobody is sure why he scares the shit out of the savage folks, only that he does.
Little pipes run through the whole system, sometimes terminating for unexplained reasons in peoples' homes. The reason for this is unknown, but can't be wholesome.
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/portland_oct_08/DSCF0072.jpg)
I don't know. I was asking myself that two years ago, when nigel first showed up on the board and told us what a fucking zany place it is.
Since then, I really wanted to visit it. I'm out here on the grayfaced east coast, status quo, business as usual. Portland's unofficial motto is "Keep Portland Weird".
I took a vacation there last year. I met over 20 Discordians that weekend. (most were up for EsoZone, though Nigel, Netatungrot and Telarus are portland natives). When I got off the plane, and nigel came to pick me up in her traffic cone orange car, a guy in a wizard outfit biked by. It gave me goosebumps.
It's a crazy city. There's a lot of stuff to do, and the energy seemed very accepting. They like stuff weird out there, and they're nice, and that's two things it's got on new fucking you in the ass york.
It's also designed really well. You can get anywhere on bike. Public transit is pretty good. Stuff is priced well (relative to new york / ct).
Every single day I feel like I have less stuff anchoring me to the east coast. One day I'm gonna say FUCKET and drive all the way out there and get an apartment and a shitty job.
I think we should all do it. It's fucking gorgeous out there for strange people.
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/portland_oct_08/DSCF0083.jpg)(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/portland_oct_08/DSCF0105.jpg)(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/portland_oct_08/DSCF0036.jpg)
Every one of my friends who have been to Portland say it's awesome. Now I kind of want to check it out.
Like a mix between Canadians and South Eastern hicks?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbLQpc_I2gY&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbLQpc_I2gY&feature=related)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2009, 10:44:22 PM
Also, there are old tunnels there from the mining days, and feral homeless people and worse live in them. Nobody is sure how many of these savages are down there, but let's just say that mothers keep their children far from the storm drains. Sometimes sinkholes open up, and normal folks like you and I are buried alive or, worse, dragged screaming off to their dooms by the filthy clutches of above-mentioned killer hobos.
The sole exception is The Pipe, which the homeless shun, as the Old Man lives down there, just sitting in his lawn chair. Nobody is sure why he scares the shit out of the savage folks, only that he does.
Little pipes run through the whole system, sometimes terminating for unexplained reasons in peoples' homes. The reason for this is unknown, but can't be wholesome.
This pleases me exceedingly much.
Portland has been deemed both the "most livable" and the "most depressing" city in the US.
I agree.
Also, I adore it here.
Quote from: Felix on December 15, 2009, 10:42:49 PM
I was born there, but I've never lived there beyond my first year.
Don't know much about it really. It's got a hipster scene, and captain planet lives there.
Disclaimer: Felix has not been exposed to hipsters overmuch, but has seen LATFH.com and knows it is not good.
Quote from: WikipediaBecause of strong free speech protections of the Oregon Constitution upheld by the Oregon Supreme Court Henry v. Oregon Constitution 1987 which specifically found that full nudity and lap dances in strip clubs are protected speech,[87] Portland is widely considered to have more strip clubs per capita than Las Vegas or San Francisco.[88][89][90]
A judge dismissed charges against a nude bicyclist November 2008 on the grounds that the city's annual World Naked Bike Ride "was a well-established tradition in Portland."[91] The 2009 Naked Bike Ride occurred[92] without significant incident. City police managed traffic intersections.[93] There were an estimated 3000 to 5000 participants.[94][95]
A state law prohibiting publicly insulting a person likely to provoke a violent response was tested in Portland and struck down unanimously by the State Supreme Court as violating protected free speech and being overly broad.[96]
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 15, 2009, 10:59:30 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2009, 10:44:22 PM
Also, there are old tunnels there from the mining days, and feral homeless people and worse live in them. Nobody is sure how many of these savages are down there, but let's just say that mothers keep their children far from the storm drains. Sometimes sinkholes open up, and normal folks like you and I are buried alive or, worse, dragged screaming off to their dooms by the filthy clutches of above-mentioned killer hobos.
The sole exception is The Pipe, which the homeless shun, as the Old Man lives down there, just sitting in his lawn chair. Nobody is sure why he scares the shit out of the savage folks, only that he does.
Little pipes run through the whole system, sometimes terminating for unexplained reasons in peoples' homes. The reason for this is unknown, but can't be wholesome.
This pleases me exceedingly much.
I should continue telling the horrible truth about that burg.
Yeah you should, now I really want to check it out.
By the way, what are the concealed carry laws over there?
Also, is bear mace legal?
Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on December 15, 2009, 11:08:43 PM
Yeah you should, now I really want to check it out.
By the way, what are the concealed carry laws over there?
Also, is bear mace legal?
Fuck me, there's a whole internet forum on that.
hxxp://oregonconcealedcarry.com/
Quote from: Felix on December 15, 2009, 11:12:04 PM
Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on December 15, 2009, 11:08:43 PM
Yeah you should, now I really want to check it out.
By the way, what are the concealed carry laws over there?
Also, is bear mace legal?
Fuck me, there's a whole internet forum on that.
hxxp://oregonconcealedcarry.com/
muhaha
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2009, 11:06:46 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 15, 2009, 10:59:30 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2009, 10:44:22 PM
Also, there are old tunnels there from the mining days, and feral homeless people and worse live in them. Nobody is sure how many of these savages are down there, but let's just say that mothers keep their children far from the storm drains. Sometimes sinkholes open up, and normal folks like you and I are buried alive or, worse, dragged screaming off to their dooms by the filthy clutches of above-mentioned killer hobos.
The sole exception is The Pipe, which the homeless shun, as the Old Man lives down there, just sitting in his lawn chair. Nobody is sure why he scares the shit out of the savage folks, only that he does.
Little pipes run through the whole system, sometimes terminating for unexplained reasons in peoples' homes. The reason for this is unknown, but can't be wholesome.
This pleases me exceedingly much.
I should continue telling the horrible truth about that burg.
Yes, please!
Quote from: Felix on December 15, 2009, 11:12:04 PM
Quote from: Slanket the Destroyer on December 15, 2009, 11:08:43 PM
Yeah you should, now I really want to check it out.
By the way, what are the concealed carry laws over there?
Also, is bear mace legal?
Fuck me, there's a whole internet forum on that.
hxxp://oregonconcealedcarry.com/
My friend Z has showed me some seriously lulzy threads from that forum.
There's a gray industrial building at 10th Avenue and SE Washington. They use the white vans to move the big bugs around, so nobody knows what the hell they're up to. The funny thing is that they think of themselves as THE conspiracy in Portland, instead of just one among many...and a very minor one at that. Anyway, between the 4th and 5th white rolling door is a little plastic shack, the kind you get at Home Depot for your garden. One day, the police will get a look inside that and the papers will never shut the fuck up. They will think of it as THE conspiracy in Portland, instead of just the one they've found, and not realize that it is pretty small potatoes, no matter how grotesque it might be.
Just another day in Portland.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 15, 2009, 11:58:23 PM
There's a gray industrial building at 10th Avenue and SE Washington. They use the white vans to move the big bugs around, so nobody knows what the hell they're up to. The funny thing is that they think of themselves as THE conspiracy in Portland, instead of just one among many...and a very minor one at that. Anyway, between the 4th and 5th white rolling door is a little plastic shack, the kind you get at Home Depot for your garden. One day, the police will get a look inside that and the papers will never shut the fuck up. They will think of it as THE conspiracy in Portland, instead of just the one they've found, and not realize that it is pretty small potatoes, no matter how grotesque it might be.
Just another day in Portland.
:mittens:
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 10:49:12 PM
Portland's unofficial motto is "Keep Portland Weird".
Way to rip off Louisville, Western asscunts.
All I know about Portland is that some moron I knew in highschool once tried to convince me to go to some wacky college there, with the justification that Portland had "Like, the best new grunge scene in the world!" Not being any sort of grunge fan, I forgot about it and stayed in Louisville.
However, if this means Portland is the western version of Louisville, I may have to go thee on my next road trip.
Quote from: Haeresis Zarathustra on December 16, 2009, 12:57:08 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 10:49:12 PM
Portland's unofficial motto is "Keep Portland Weird".
Way to rip off Louisville, Western asscunts.
All I know about Portland is that some moron I knew in highschool once tried to convince me to go to some wacky college there, with the justification that Portland had "Like, the best new grunge scene in the world!" Not being any sort of grunge fan, I forgot about it and stayed in Louisville.
However, if this means Portland is the western version of Louisville, I may have to go thee on my next road trip.
Um.
Loisville adopted that slogan DECADES after Portland. When they adopted it, there were tons of people calling Louisville "the next Portland". :lulz: Now there are several "Keep (your city) weird movements... it's basically a buy local campaign. And they all copied Portland.
FWIW, I've been to Louisville and really liked it. It's more of a shithole than Portland is, and I mean that in the most loving way possible.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 16, 2009, 01:14:06 AM
Quote from: Haeresis Zarathustra on December 16, 2009, 12:57:08 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 15, 2009, 10:49:12 PM
Portland's unofficial motto is "Keep Portland Weird".
Way to rip off Louisville, Western asscunts.
All I know about Portland is that some moron I knew in highschool once tried to convince me to go to some wacky college there, with the justification that Portland had "Like, the best new grunge scene in the world!" Not being any sort of grunge fan, I forgot about it and stayed in Louisville.
However, if this means Portland is the western version of Louisville, I may have to go thee on my next road trip.
Um.
Loisville adopted that slogan DECADES after Portland. When they adopted it, there were tons of people calling Louisville "the next Portland". :lulz: Now there are several "Keep (your city) weird movements... it's basically a buy local campaign. And they all copied Portland.
FWIW, I've been to Louisville and really liked it. It's more of a shithole than Portland is, and I mean that in the most loving way possible.
It's Portland, if Portland was:
1. Always under construction.
2. Completely devoid of highway markings (find Rt 44 yourselves, outsiders).
3. Responsible for the rapper Nelly.
4. Full of horrible ghettos of every description.
5. Spent a shitpile of money on an arch. WTF is that shit? Who goes anywhere to look at an arch?
Oh, wait. That's St Louis. Close enough.
TGRR,
Knows they're both full of ticks.
The only thing that sucked was how hard it was to find a strip club, and the one we eventually did find was TERRIBLE, and not in a good way.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 16, 2009, 01:14:06 AM
Um.
Loisville adopted that slogan DECADES after Portland. When they adopted it, there were tons of people calling Louisville "the next Portland". :lulz: Now there are several "Keep (your city) weird movements... it's basically a buy local campaign. And they all copied Portland.
FWIW, I've been to Louisville and really liked it. It's more of a shithole than Portland is, and I mean that in the most loving way possible.
:horrormirth:
Yeah, well, everyone says Kentucky is stuck in the past, so by our moonshine-fueled reckoning, we still did it first afterwards. :lulz:
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 16, 2009, 01:19:10 AM
The only thing that sucked was how hard it was to find a strip club, and the one we eventually did find was TERRIBLE, and not in a good way.
I challenge anyone to show me a real difference between Louisville and Memphis.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 01:18:00 AM
1. Always under construction.
2. Completely devoid of highway markings (find Rt 44 yourselves, outsiders).
3. Responsible for the rapper Nelly.
4. Full of horrible ghettos of every description.
5. Spent a shitpile of money on an arch. WTF is that shit? Who goes anywhere to look at an arch?
Oh, wait. That's St Louis. Close enough.
TGRR,
Knows they're both full of ticks.
1, 2, and 4 are right enough.
WAIT.
Memphis has Graceland.
allow me to be the dissenting opinion ITT:
Fuck Portland.
fucking hipster ecofascist asstards who don't know how to drive but insist on doing it at 10mph below the speed limit everywhere.
this is not a big city. It's barely a medium-sized city. And everyone here is not only very nice, they're so fucking nice that it's creepy and disconcerting. They're also, for the most part, completely not genuine about anything.
Of course, they're also, for the most part, not actually FROM Portland. The handful of actual natives, if you can find them, are good people, though they're a bit suspect for allowing their city to be overrun like it has been without any sort of violent retribution whatsoever.
positives:
climate is less horrible than most of the PNW due to being in the Willamette Valley
cost of living is very reasonable, housing is cheap. Of course, there are no jobs AT ALL, but if you're independently wealthy you can make your loot go a long way
There is an awesome real city less than 3 hours away.
the hipsters don't fight back when you kick them in the shins.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 16, 2009, 06:36:01 AM
allow me to be the dissenting opinion ITT:
Fuck Portland.
fucking hipster ecofascist asstards who don't know how to drive but insist on doing it at 10mph below the speed limit everywhere.
this is not a big city. It's barely a medium-sized city. And everyone here is not only very nice, they're so fucking nice that it's creepy and disconcerting. They're also, for the most part, completely not genuine about anything.
Of course, they're also, for the most part, not actually FROM Portland. The handful of actual natives, if you can find them, are good people, though they're a bit suspect for allowing their city to be overrun like it has been without any sort of violent retribution whatsoever.
positives:
climate is less horrible than most of the PNW due to being in the Willamette Valley
cost of living is very reasonable, housing is cheap. Of course, there are no jobs AT ALL, but if you're independently wealthy you can make your loot go a long way
There is an awesome real city less than 3 hours away.
the hipsters don't fight back when you kick them in the shins.
I'd love to hear what you have to say about Providence. Really. :lulz:
Good chance I might go there,
At the very least, it sounds better than Lincon, NE.
Good place for the Crom hat.
I'd need a R.A.M.B.O. hoodie.
Sadly, I have not been...though I went through the whole of Oregon from bottom to top via train twice. One day I shall visit.
Portland is a great city. It has a great arts district. Lot's of cute little shops. It's right on the ocean so you get to experience the mariner culture without being in the sticks. You are just a boat-ride away from Canada. If you're into the night-life, there are plenty of bars and clubs to choose from whether you're into punk, rock, goth, jazz, standards, the gay scene, etc. Portland has a great public transportation system and has some great progressive policies.
Oh wait, you're talking about Left Coast Portland. East Coast Portland is where it's at. Though, I am a little biased.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 01:18:00 AM
It's Portland, if Portland was:
1. Always under construction.
2. Completely devoid of highway markings (find Rt 44 yourselves, outsiders).
3. Responsible for the rapper Nelly.
4. Full of horrible ghettos of every description.
5. Spent a shitpile of money on an arch. WTF is that shit? Who goes anywhere to look at an arch?
Oh, wait. That's St Louis. Close enough.
TGRR,
Knows they're both full of ticks.
1 - they have to keep re-building the fucking monkeys keep tearing it down....
2 - yeah well, I still get lost after 4 years.... in fact, they just opened a highway that has been closed since I moved here. WTF is that?
3 - there is no apology that will suffice, they won't let us shoot him and he doesn't spend enough time here to get caught in a drive by...
4 - SIGH, yes, this is true. I live in the heart of one of them and it sucks ass.....
5 - it's not an arch, it hold my ginormous bungee cord car launcher to fight the swamp yankee invasion.....
Now if only 3/4 of the population would die it might improve dramatically......
:lulz:
Quote from: Suu on December 16, 2009, 06:49:42 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 16, 2009, 06:36:01 AM
allow me to be the dissenting opinion ITT:
Fuck Portland.
fucking hipster ecofascist asstards who don't know how to drive but insist on doing it at 10mph below the speed limit everywhere.
this is not a big city. It's barely a medium-sized city. And everyone here is not only very nice, they're so fucking nice that it's creepy and disconcerting. They're also, for the most part, completely not genuine about anything.
Of course, they're also, for the most part, not actually FROM Portland. The handful of actual natives, if you can find them, are good people, though they're a bit suspect for allowing their city to be overrun like it has been without any sort of violent retribution whatsoever.
positives:
climate is less horrible than most of the PNW due to being in the Willamette Valley
cost of living is very reasonable, housing is cheap. Of course, there are no jobs AT ALL, but if you're independently wealthy you can make your loot go a long way
There is an awesome real city less than 3 hours away.
the hipsters don't fight back when you kick them in the shins.
I'd love to hear what you have to say about Providence. Really. :lulz:
I've been there a few times, and though I don't have enough time spent there to have an informed opinion, it has long held a place as one of my favorite towns to drink in.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 16, 2009, 02:17:18 PM
Portland is a great city. It has a great arts district. Lot's of cute little shops. It's right on the ocean so you get to experience the mariner culture without being in the sticks. You are just a boat-ride away from Canada. If you're into the night-life, there are plenty of bars and clubs to choose from whether you're into punk, rock, goth, jazz, standards, the gay scene, etc. Portland has a great public transportation system and has some great progressive policies.
Oh wait, you're talking about Left Coast Portland. East Coast Portland is where it's at. Though, I am a little biased.
truth. I would have moved to that Portland if it weren't for the utterly miserable climate.
though, I'm not sure which public transportation system you're talking about, unless it's the cheap cabs or the fact that you can walk from one side of town to the other in a half-hour.
I love my town. :cry: Even the transplants and the hipsters.
And people ARE genuine, they're just not genuine in the way you're used to. My friend Nick (formerly Sir Talksalot... yes, we're now friends) used to get really grumpy about how people aren't "real" here, and it turns out that what he means is that they're conflict-avoidant and not hostile like people where he's from. He perceives that as being "real".
So, yeah, it's a sort of gentle, stoney place in a way. And the driving thing gets annoying. But it's not that people are being fake... they really mean it. They seriously don't want to hurt any feelings or inconvenience anyone, and they feel bad if they do. And I can walk into most of the bars in my quadrant and get hugs from five or six different people, and you can make friends just by talking to someone a couple of times.
The economy's shit and there are no jobs. That part sucks, but unless you have an in somewhere, I don't see how that makes it worse than just about everywhere else.
Seattle is pretty nice, for a city which somehow manages to be fractionally larger than Portland and smells significantly worse, yet still remains 3x hickier, probably due to having about a 35% larger suburban area. It's sort of like if Portland had an extra Gresham.
Nigel and others, you almost make Portland, Oregon sound like a place I might like to visit. Problem is I might like it, and it is too far north and a coastal region. I have only had limited exposure to the weather of the left coast, but I prefer dry regions that are fairly warm and where I won't be so out of place that the freaks tell me I am weird. This has happened up and down the east side of our country, as well as the midwest. I know that NC (where I currently have a house) is full of superchristians trying to push their beliefs off on me, and that the rest of America may not be so bad. What I liked in TX, AZ, and to some degree NM was that I was quite easily able to find crazy fuckers. Usually they found me. As long as they are my type of crazy, I like this.
With what Nigel was saying about the people not being total assholes, this is what I have liked about the southern states I have spent time in, with the exception of perhaps California. When I moved up to New England I was not expecting the attitude that seems prevalent in that region. I am already a bitter mother fucker, and I usually avoid aggression toward children, however if the fucking parents would do a little better at teaching them how to interact with adults in public I wouldn't feel like like beating the shit out of everyone I encountered. And it wasn't in the "bad neighborhoods" so much as the suburbs and and wealthier parts of the cities.
I have never ventured to the north west, so maybe I will find a place I like in the mountains up there.
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:27:30 PM
Nigel and others, you almost make Portland, Oregon sound like a place I might like to visit. Problem is I might like it, and it is too far north and a coastal region. I have only had limited exposure to the weather of the left coast, but I prefer dry regions that are fairly warm and where I won't be so out of place that the freaks tell me I am weird. This has happened up and down the east side of our country, as well as the midwest. I know that NC (where I currently have a house) is full of superchristians trying to push their beliefs off on me, and that the rest of America may not be so bad. What I liked in TX, AZ, and to some degree NM was that I was quite easily able to find crazy fuckers. Usually they found me. As long as they are my type of crazy, I like this.
With what Nigel was saying about the people not being total assholes, this is what I have liked about the southern states I have spent time in, with the exception of perhaps California. When I moved up to New England I was not expecting the attitude that seems prevalent in that region. I am already a bitter mother fucker, and I usually avoid aggression toward children, however if the fucking parents would do a little better at teaching them how to interact with adults in public I wouldn't feel like like beating the shit out of everyone I encountered. And it wasn't in the "bad neighborhoods" so much as the suburbs and and wealthier parts of the cities.
I have never ventured to the north west, so maybe I will find a place I like in the mountains up there.
New England mentality - working as intended.
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
Thank you for that interesting bit of information, Roger. I will make sure to add that to my list of considerations, it may be useful.
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:54:56 PM
Thank you for that interesting bit of information, Roger. I will make sure to add that to my list of considerations, it may be useful.
Bloated corpses aside, the food in Portland is quite good.
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:54:56 PM
Thank you for that interesting bit of information, Roger. I will make sure to add that to my list of considerations, it may be useful.
You're welcome. Had you read the entire thread, you would have noticed that it is full of little nuggets of useful lore.
Quote from: The Omnipotent Grinner on December 16, 2009, 11:32:49 PM
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:27:30 PM
Nigel and others, you almost make Portland, Oregon sound like a place I might like to visit. Problem is I might like it, and it is too far north and a coastal region. I have only had limited exposure to the weather of the left coast, but I prefer dry regions that are fairly warm and where I won't be so out of place that the freaks tell me I am weird. This has happened up and down the east side of our country, as well as the midwest. I know that NC (where I currently have a house) is full of superchristians trying to push their beliefs off on me, and that the rest of America may not be so bad. What I liked in TX, AZ, and to some degree NM was that I was quite easily able to find crazy fuckers. Usually they found me. As long as they are my type of crazy, I like this.
With what Nigel was saying about the people not being total assholes, this is what I have liked about the southern states I have spent time in, with the exception of perhaps California. When I moved up to New England I was not expecting the attitude that seems prevalent in that region. I am already a bitter mother fucker, and I usually avoid aggression toward children, however if the fucking parents would do a little better at teaching them how to interact with adults in public I wouldn't feel like like beating the shit out of everyone I encountered. And it wasn't in the "bad neighborhoods" so much as the suburbs and and wealthier parts of the cities.
I have never ventured to the north west, so maybe I will find a place I like in the mountains up there.
New England mentality - working as intended.
The thing is I know it probably isn't all people there. Perhaps that is just how you are supposed to be in public up there and I was just not familiar with it, as that is how it seems based on some of my wife's behaviour. I don't really feel like bothering with it much more anyway, due to the winters I experienced there. Maybe everyone is pissed because it is so fucking cold most of the year.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:58:05 PM
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:54:56 PM
Thank you for that interesting bit of information, Roger. I will make sure to add that to my list of considerations, it may be useful.
You're welcome. Had you read the entire thread, you would have noticed that it is full of little nuggets of useful lore.
I read through a majority of it. I will take a look at the rest.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: because it's true.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 17, 2009, 12:05:02 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: because it's true.
Hey, you said you wanted more stories about Portland. I know lots of shit about The City. Even if I've never been to your version of it...they're really all the same.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2009, 12:08:49 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 17, 2009, 12:05:02 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: because it's true.
Hey, you said you wanted more stories about Portland. I know lots of shit about The City. Even if I've never been to your version of it...they're really all the same.
Yeah. They are.
We were talking about people getting hit by trains yesterday. It almost never makes the paper, but it happens ALL THE TIME.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 17, 2009, 12:11:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2009, 12:08:49 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 17, 2009, 12:05:02 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: because it's true.
Hey, you said you wanted more stories about Portland. I know lots of shit about The City. Even if I've never been to your version of it...they're really all the same.
Yeah. They are.
We were talking about people getting hit by trains yesterday. It almost never makes the paper, but it happens ALL THE TIME.
Like really awful car accidents in Tucson.
Quote from: rygD on December 17, 2009, 12:00:27 AM
Quote from: The Omnipotent Grinner on December 16, 2009, 11:32:49 PM
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:27:30 PM
Nigel and others, you almost make Portland, Oregon sound like a place I might like to visit. Problem is I might like it, and it is too far north and a coastal region. I have only had limited exposure to the weather of the left coast, but I prefer dry regions that are fairly warm and where I won't be so out of place that the freaks tell me I am weird. This has happened up and down the east side of our country, as well as the midwest. I know that NC (where I currently have a house) is full of superchristians trying to push their beliefs off on me, and that the rest of America may not be so bad. What I liked in TX, AZ, and to some degree NM was that I was quite easily able to find crazy fuckers. Usually they found me. As long as they are my type of crazy, I like this.
With what Nigel was saying about the people not being total assholes, this is what I have liked about the southern states I have spent time in, with the exception of perhaps California. When I moved up to New England I was not expecting the attitude that seems prevalent in that region. I am already a bitter mother fucker, and I usually avoid aggression toward children, however if the fucking parents would do a little better at teaching them how to interact with adults in public I wouldn't feel like like beating the shit out of everyone I encountered. And it wasn't in the "bad neighborhoods" so much as the suburbs and and wealthier parts of the cities.
I have never ventured to the north west, so maybe I will find a place I like in the mountains up there.
New England mentality - working as intended.
The thing is I know it probably isn't all people there. Perhaps that is just how you are supposed to be in public up there and I was just not familiar with it, as that is how it seems based on some of my wife's behaviour. I don't really feel like bothering with it much more anyway, due to the winters I experienced there. Maybe everyone is pissed because it is so fucking cold most of the year.
No, it is. Everyone is pissed at each other for everyone else acting like an asshole, so they preemptively act like assholes so that nobody acts like an asshole to them.
Quote from: The Omnipotent Grinner on December 16, 2009, 11:32:49 PM
Quote from: rygD on December 16, 2009, 11:27:30 PM
Nigel and others, you almost make Portland, Oregon sound like a place I might like to visit. Problem is I might like it, and it is too far north and a coastal region. I have only had limited exposure to the weather of the left coast, but I prefer dry regions that are fairly warm and where I won't be so out of place that the freaks tell me I am weird. This has happened up and down the east side of our country, as well as the midwest. I know that NC (where I currently have a house) is full of superchristians trying to push their beliefs off on me, and that the rest of America may not be so bad. What I liked in TX, AZ, and to some degree NM was that I was quite easily able to find crazy fuckers. Usually they found me. As long as they are my type of crazy, I like this.
With what Nigel was saying about the people not being total assholes, this is what I have liked about the southern states I have spent time in, with the exception of perhaps California. When I moved up to New England I was not expecting the attitude that seems prevalent in that region. I am already a bitter mother fucker, and I usually avoid aggression toward children, however if the fucking parents would do a little better at teaching them how to interact with adults in public I wouldn't feel like like beating the shit out of everyone I encountered. And it wasn't in the "bad neighborhoods" so much as the suburbs and and wealthier parts of the cities.
I have never ventured to the north west, so maybe I will find a place I like in the mountains up there.
New England mentality - working as intended.
YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF NEW BEDFORD TRASH. GO EAT YOUR FUCKING PORTUGUESE SAUSAGE AND STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE FUCKING BAY. AIGHT?!
I swear...these fuckin' South Shore motherfuckers...WHAT THE FUCK IS IT SNOWING?! OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!
THAT'S IT! TAKE ME TO FUCKING GREEN, CECILIA, I'M FLYIN' TO FLAHRIDA.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 16, 2009, 10:51:07 PM
I love my town. :cry: Even the transplants and the hipsters.
And people ARE genuine, they're just not genuine in the way you're used to. My friend Nick (formerly Sir Talksalot... yes, we're now friends) used to get really grumpy about how people aren't "real" here, and it turns out that what he means is that they're conflict-avoidant and not hostile like people where he's from. He perceives that as being "real".
So, yeah, it's a sort of gentle, stoney place in a way. And the driving thing gets annoying. But it's not that people are being fake... they really mean it. They seriously don't want to hurt any feelings or inconvenience anyone, and they feel bad if they do. And I can walk into most of the bars in my quadrant and get hugs from five or six different people, and you can make friends just by talking to someone a couple of times.
The economy's shit and there are no jobs. That part sucks, but unless you have an in somewhere, I don't see how that makes it worse than just about everywhere else.
Seattle is pretty nice, for a city which somehow manages to be fractionally larger than Portland and smells significantly worse, yet still remains 3x hickier, probably due to having about a 35% larger suburban area. It's sort of like if Portland had an extra Gresham.
TBH, I have never noticed an unpleasant smell in Seattle. Tacoma, Everett, Olympia, sure...but not Seattle.
seriously, though, I gotta protest at your characterization of Seattle as being more hickish than Portland. That may be true of the huge expanse of suburban sprawl (though really only the southend, the northend and eastside are almost civilized) but if we're speaking strictly of the cities themselves, well, there's no comparison. Seattle stopped wearing flannel and started shaving sometime around 1996.
that said, I think the hickishness is one of the positive things about Portland. I just didn't think it was fair to characterize Seattle itself based on its suburbs, since none of my complaints about Portland are based on Gresham or Lake NoNegro.
I think this might be an OK city, but it also might be totally wrong for me.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 17, 2009, 06:35:50 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 16, 2009, 10:51:07 PM
I love my town. :cry: Even the transplants and the hipsters.
And people ARE genuine, they're just not genuine in the way you're used to. My friend Nick (formerly Sir Talksalot... yes, we're now friends) used to get really grumpy about how people aren't "real" here, and it turns out that what he means is that they're conflict-avoidant and not hostile like people where he's from. He perceives that as being "real".
So, yeah, it's a sort of gentle, stoney place in a way. And the driving thing gets annoying. But it's not that people are being fake... they really mean it. They seriously don't want to hurt any feelings or inconvenience anyone, and they feel bad if they do. And I can walk into most of the bars in my quadrant and get hugs from five or six different people, and you can make friends just by talking to someone a couple of times.
The economy's shit and there are no jobs. That part sucks, but unless you have an in somewhere, I don't see how that makes it worse than just about everywhere else.
Seattle is pretty nice, for a city which somehow manages to be fractionally larger than Portland and smells significantly worse, yet still remains 3x hickier, probably due to having about a 35% larger suburban area. It's sort of like if Portland had an extra Gresham.
TBH, I have never noticed an unpleasant smell in Seattle. Tacoma, Everett, Olympia, sure...but not Seattle.
seriously, though, I gotta protest at your characterization of Seattle as being more hickish than Portland. That may be true of the huge expanse of suburban sprawl (though really only the southend, the northend and eastside are almost civilized) but if we're speaking strictly of the cities themselves, well, there's no comparison. Seattle stopped wearing flannel and started shaving sometime around 1996.
that said, I think the hickishness is one of the positive things about Portland. I just didn't think it was fair to characterize Seattle itself based on its suburbs, since none of my complaints about Portland are based on Gresham or Lake NoNegro.
I think this might be an OK city, but it also might be totally wrong for me.
I've never spent any time in Seattle suburbs, I was just pointing out that the influx of rednecks in Seattle proper might have to do with the larger suburban population, sort of like if Portland had 35% more Gresham, there would be that many more cruisers downtown hooting out of white trucks on Saturday night. Seattle has about 3% more city, but about 30% more redneck. IMO. And in the right spots at the right time, it smells like dead clams and pee.
I walked around Seattle a lot this summer, and while I like it there, it just has a combination of pretension, unfriendliness, tourist attraction, and ick that makes it not my favorite place on earth.
It's barely larger than Portland, and the larger parts have a less friendly feel with fewer amenities and more firearms permits. IMO.
As for flannel... in 1991 my friends and I were in a news clip in Portland where they were talking about grunge and we were like, what? Grunge died already. They sell it at Nordstroms. It's dead, get over it. Most holdouts in flannel shirts after that were longshoremen, lesbians, and ironic hipsters... or just plain cold. And anyone who would stop wearing flannel just because it's "out" is a phony, anyway.
you would hope they'd stop wearing it because it's ugly.
Also, I'm confused. You appear to think that firearm permits are undesirable and that pee and dead clams smell unpleasant.
Also, that unfriendliness and ick are things not to be desired in one's immediate living environment.
It appears we may just have to agree to disagree.
RCH,
If I wanted a nice place to live, I'd have moved to canada :argh!:
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 17, 2009, 07:19:14 AM
you would hope they'd stop wearing it because it's ugly.
Also, I'm confused. You appear to think that firearm permits are undesirable and that pee and dead clams smell unpleasant.
Also, that unfriendliness and ick are things not to be desired in one's immediate living environment.
It appears we may just have to agree to disagree.
RCH,
If I wanted a nice place to live, I'd have moved to canada :argh!:
:lulz: OK, maybe you and Portland are just incompatible. I can dig it.
And flannel is warm! I did the babydyke flannel-shirt-over-tiny-tee and baggy jeans thing for years.
Although I hate flannel sheets.
Seattle does have earthquake damage and a bigger underground, by which I mean "buried city", both of which are very desirable IMO.
the Seattle Underground is one of the coolest secret spots in america.
And I don't mean the accessible part that the guided tour takes you on. If you can sneak down there on your own and go outside the ropes, there is some seriously strange shit down there. At the very least, there are CHUDs. I am not being the least bit facetious when I say that you never want to explore the old city without a firearm.
San Francisco is not only inferior to Portland and Seattle in every possible way, it is also inferior to Oakland and, for that matter, Sacramento.
Quote from: Hangshai on December 17, 2009, 08:31:13 AM
like I said. Its pretty much sucked for about the last 15 years straight. It WAS fun long ago though. (Im actually about an hour south of Sac). Im pretty much over big cities now anyway. I would much rather live in Sonora or Santa Cruz or something. The place Im at now is pretty shitty, though.
Big cities are the way to go.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2009, 04:34:24 PM
Quote from: Hangshai on December 17, 2009, 08:31:13 AM
like I said. Its pretty much sucked for about the last 15 years straight. It WAS fun long ago though. (Im actually about an hour south of Sac). Im pretty much over big cities now anyway. I would much rather live in Sonora or Santa Cruz or something. The place Im at now is pretty shitty, though.
Big cities are the way to go.
They are much easier to disappear in.
Just sayin....... :evil:
Near the corner of _____ and _____, there is an old brown house with an old grey car in front of it. This is the house of an artist, and not just any artist, this artist is really like Mary Shelley in that she feels she has to be miserable. Why she feels this way is unknown; perhaps she feels that she must be punished for being herself, or perhaps she just feels she isn't worthy of happiness.
So she does her art, and it's really good, and she does her thing, and she feels really bad.
As time goes on, the house will develop a miasma of sadness and regret, and eventually - after the children have grown up and learned to fly - it will become "that house" with the old lady with the crazy eyes that scares the scabs off the local yuppies. She will appreciate that on a level that even she doesn't understand.
Eventually, she will pass, as do we all, and the house will remain. And it will remember. People will rent it or buy it, but they won't stay, because there's just something not right about the place. People will feel sad when they're there, for no reason whatsoever, and maybe they'll hear and smell the kilns operating in the studio that is now a rec room.
And the house will fall into disuse and neglect, but it will remember.
Years after The Incident (for eventually there is always an Incident), when archaelogists are sifting through the remains of The City, they will find the remains of this house, and the remains of the kilns and racks stuffed away in a corner of the yard. And in one of these kilns, they will find a small stone shaped like a human heart. They will assume that it is a sculpture of some kind.
They'll be wrong.
Or kill me.
wow.
That's one hell of a punchline, Rog.
Quote from: LMNO on December 17, 2009, 05:54:13 PM
wow.
That's one hell of a punchline, Rog.
Thanks. I'm having an Oscar Wilde morning.
People are proud of The City, and they're proud of their country. They don't know WHY, but they sure as hell are, if for no other reason than that it is expected of them. Even the lowest cur loves his country, right? This is what they are told, and this is what they believe, no matter how bad things get. And they see themselves as Americans.
But there are other people, those people walking, those people under the bridge, and the meth scars are upon them, and they are the cast-offs, the dust of the Earth, the forgotten. And what the happy people don't think about, won't think about, can't think about is that these, too, are America.
So when you're driving through The City, and you see those people walking, remember that they are your own, they are your kith and kin, and they are your indictment, like some horrible leper at your party, there to remind you that there is a price for our complacency, and the misery of their lives are that price.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2009, 05:48:58 PM
Near the corner of _____ and _____, there is an old brown house with an old grey car in front of it. This is the house of an artist, and not just any artist, this artist is really like Mary Shelley in that she feels she has to be miserable. Why she feels this way is unknown; perhaps she feels that she must be punished for being herself, or perhaps she just feels she isn't worthy of happiness.
So she does her art, and it's really good, and she does her thing, and she feels really bad.
As time goes on, the house will develop a miasma of sadness and regret, and eventually - after the children have grown up and learned to fly - it will become "that house" with the old lady with the crazy eyes that scares the scabs off the local yuppies. She will appreciate that on a level that even she doesn't understand.
Eventually, she will pass, as do we all, and the house will remain. And it will remember. People will rent it or buy it, but they won't stay, because there's just something not right about the place. People will feel sad when they're there, for no reason whatsoever, and maybe they'll hear and smell the kilns operating in the studio that is now a rec room.
And the house will fall into disuse and neglect, but it will remember.
Years after The Incident (for eventually there is always an Incident), when archaelogists are sifting through the remains of The City, they will find the remains of this house, and the remains of the kilns and racks stuffed away in a corner of the yard. And in one of these kilns, they will find a small stone shaped like a human heart. They will assume that it is a sculpture of some kind.
They'll be wrong.
Or kill me.
Chills. and :mittens:
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 17, 2009, 08:15:06 AM
San Francisco is not only inferior to Portland and Seattle in every possible way, it is also inferior to Oakland and, for that matter, Sacramento.
Wow... was going to argue about the Sacramento part, but then...
I couldn't. :x
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on December 17, 2009, 08:15:06 AM
San Francisco is not only inferior to Portland and Seattle in every possible way, it is also inferior to Oakland and, for that matter, Sacramento.
I don't know, RCH. The City seems the same to me, everywhere I go. The background changes, but the problems and the good parts seem to vary only in their visibility. If it's possible to have a good time in Tucson, it's possible to have one anywhere.
Likewise, even Naperville and Beverly Hills have homeless people.
It's The City, RCH, and you carry it everywhere you go.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2009, 05:48:58 PM
Near the corner of _____ and _____, there is an old brown house with an old grey car in front of it. This is the house of an artist, and not just any artist, this artist is really like Mary Shelley in that she feels she has to be miserable. Why she feels this way is unknown; perhaps she feels that she must be punished for being herself, or perhaps she just feels she isn't worthy of happiness.
So she does her art, and it's really good, and she does her thing, and she feels really bad.
As time goes on, the house will develop a miasma of sadness and regret, and eventually - after the children have grown up and learned to fly - it will become "that house" with the old lady with the crazy eyes that scares the scabs off the local yuppies. She will appreciate that on a level that even she doesn't understand.
Eventually, she will pass, as do we all, and the house will remain. And it will remember. People will rent it or buy it, but they won't stay, because there's just something not right about the place. People will feel sad when they're there, for no reason whatsoever, and maybe they'll hear and smell the kilns operating in the studio that is now a rec room.
And the house will fall into disuse and neglect, but it will remember.
Years after The Incident (for eventually there is always an Incident), when archaelogists are sifting through the remains of The City, they will find the remains of this house, and the remains of the kilns and racks stuffed away in a corner of the yard. And in one of these kilns, they will find a small stone shaped like a human heart. They will assume that it is a sculpture of some kind.
They'll be wrong.
Or kill me.
I wrote that?
ooooo...I should get poisoned more often.
Yeah, it's fucking good. Made the hair on my arms stand up.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 18, 2009, 01:02:12 AM
Yeah, it's fucking good. Made the hair on my arms stand up.
Good. :)
I remember writing it, just not what I wrote.
I mean, I wasn't totally out of it, just messed up.
They loom over the yard, the new townhouses, and Old Lady Mabel's yard too. Beige pressboard, they popped up in two weeks, built by workers who don't speak the native tongue and are willing to work on holidays and weekends for less pay than the few manual laborers left who were born here. They do a better job, too, with fewer expectations, because they're grateful, and they don't qualify for unemployment.
The parts of the yard they shadow are not so large, nor so significant. They leave in sun the persimmon and the apricot, the raspberries, the grape and the fig. What they shadow is so much larger. They are selling for half a million dollars, these new townhouses that are built where the old Head Start was, and after that the revival church. Old Lady Mabel's house never sold for that much. Maybe ten thousand, back in the day. They don't cast a shadow on her yard, to the south of them, and the neighborhood is grateful because she has been gardening in that yard for long enough that the soil is rich and crumbly and black, and anything she plants springs up in a few weeks time as lush and nourishing as Eden. She tends her rows hunched over in a flowered housedress, white-haired and slow, dark brown skin and sweet grandma voice telling you what crops she likes to plant in which seasons. "I do love the sound of chickens", she says, smiling, passing bundles of collards and mustard over the fence to her neighbors, "Always have, since I was a girl".
The townhouses don't care whose yards they oppress with their height and their sameness. They don't care about Old Lady Mabel and her stories. The people who build them don't care, because they are working and it's a paycheck to help feed their families. The investors don't care, because real estate is a surefire way to maximize their investments. Real estate never loses. Right? Right?
In the neighborhood, neighbors who bought at market peak couldn't sell their houses for what they paid, but maybe the new townhouses will change all that. Half a million! That could bring housing values up for everyone! Make our homes worth more than we paid for them, so much more. So we can leave. So we can get the hell out of the shithole neighborhood with the old lady who grows her own food and the crazy people with the chickens. A grand or so extra taxes per year is so worth it, if we can refinance and buy that Prius we've been wanting to go with our green lifestyle. And maybe the new neighbors will be the kind of people we've been wanting to live near, people with nice things, clean things, and no dirt in their yards. Maybe, just maybe.
Maybe all those good things will happen, and the new neighbors will pay their half-a-million dollars to move into those new green-construction townhouses, and everything will be so clean and so nice, and the new neighbors will complain to the city about the chickens, and the new neighbors will drive the property values and the property taxes up until Old Lady Mabel and the crazy people with the chickens can't afford to live here anymore, and the neighborhood will be so nice then, won't it? We can have such lovely dinner parties.
Or maybe, just maybe, the people with nice things, clean things, lovely earth-friendly things won't be able to look twice at those half-million-dollar townhomes with green construction and no yards, and they'll sit vacant for years, until the investors pull out and the contractor goes bankrupt and property values continue to slide and maybe the city will step in and force them to lease it to the Headstart program, or maybe they won't, but either way Old Lady Mabel will keep on growing her garden, and the crazy people with the chickens will go on trading eggs for greens. And no one will buy a Prius, or get out from under their mortgage, and the neighborhood will never, ever, get any better.
:mittens: all around. Great shit, Guys.
the best times i ever had in any city was in detroit. there's a certain amount of respect you seem to get in detroit. sort of a "you're not afraid to go out after dark, you must be alright. but, also, i'm not gonna fuck with you just in case you're one of the crazy fuckers that's not afraid to go out after dark." vibe. i'm pretty sure, roger, if you keep following the rabbit hole all the way down to the bottom, you will eventually find yourself in detroit.
i used to live in saint paul, too - there's a really awesome bar on the corner of 7th and Wacouta, but other than that, it pretty much sucks. then i moved to a 1st tier 'burb north of minneapolis, that sucked even more. i kinda miss flameburger, and being able to walk to the auto parts store in the time it took to smoke one cigarette was convenient. but it's hard to sleep when someone sets your neighbor's truck on fire. and $5.35 for a 12 ounce mug of tap beer (MGD) is fucking retarded.
i did some partying in chicago, but they seemed to proud of themselves there. they're all, "ooooh - look at us, we live in chicago. we're so urban!"
i'll take living in the Woods over the City any day. sometimes i go weeks without seeing a stop light.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
TGGR, you ever been to the DF, Mexico? Either way, how would you appraise it in terms of high weirdness?
My personal survival method is to not go outside beyond 11pm (perhaps to go to nearby 24 hour stores, but NEVAR one hour before or after 2pm, which is when the true darkness reigns)
Quote from: rong on December 18, 2009, 04:50:22 AMi'm pretty sure, roger, if you keep following the rabbit hole all the way down to the bottom, you will eventually find yourself in detroit.
I'll second this. But Detroit doesn't have the good kind of sickness. Most of the fun you can have in Detroit isn't BADWRONG, it's just bad.
I have a few pretty fucked-up Detroit/Pontiac stories. Maybe in the next day or two I'll post the story of One-Eyed Dave.
Quote from: JohNyx on December 18, 2009, 05:31:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
got this via the "unusual wiki articles" list, relevant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Globster
and Nigel, sorry if this is a dumb question, but in your story, the "neighbours" want the house prices to go up, so they are worth more than they paid for, and they can leave. I assume by selling the houses at a profit? but on the other hand, if house prices go up, it will also cause Old Lady Mabel to leave because property taxes will go up. Why are higher house prices advantageous for the "neighbours" but not for Old Lady Mabel? Does she have a different deal than the "neighbours"?
Quote from: JohNyx on December 18, 2009, 05:41:44 AM
TGGR, you ever been to the DF, Mexico? Either way, how would you appraise it in terms of high weirdness?
My personal survival method is to not go outside beyond 11pm (perhaps to go to nearby 24 hour stores, but NEVAR one hour before or after 2pm, which is when the true darkness reigns)
I have been many places in Mexico, back when I worked for a cargo airline.
But I know not this "DF". What does that stand for?
Nigel, I really liked the understated irony in your piece, how you never explicitly called out the hypocrisy in the so-called "green" yuppies, but showed it clearly anyway.
Quote from: LMNO on December 18, 2009, 01:40:03 PM
Nigel, I really liked the understated irony in your piece, how you never explicitly called out the hypocrisy in the so-called "green" yuppies, but showed it clearly anyway.
Yeah, I dug the hell out of that.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2009, 02:21:26 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 18, 2009, 01:40:03 PM
Nigel, I really liked the understated irony in your piece, how you never explicitly called out the hypocrisy in the so-called "green" yuppies, but showed it clearly anyway.
Yeah, I dug the hell out of that.
Thanks, guys!
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 18, 2009, 12:42:59 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on December 18, 2009, 05:31:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 16, 2009, 11:42:00 PM
Sometimes people go missing in Portland, and sometimes they find TOO MANY bodies. Or, to be specific, bodies that they can't match to a missing person report. These bodies are called "floaters", and they happen when someone decides they have a need to step off of one of the many convenient bridges that are there for that purpose.
If the currents don't drag them away past Astoria, they wind up in eddy pools after being dragged along the bottom on their faces. When you get them back, they have no face, no teeth, no fingerprints, and usually no remaining tattoos and/or scars. Given that the city no longer has the cash to run DNA tests, the bodies remain unidentified, and are sent up the stack of the morgue's incinerator a year later.
So you have some missing people, and some found people...and either way, their families never learn what happened to them.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
got this via the "unusual wiki articles" list, relevant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Globster
and Nigel, sorry if this is a dumb question, but in your story, the "neighbours" want the house prices to go up, so they are worth more than they paid for, and they can leave. I assume by selling the houses at a profit? but on the other hand, if house prices go up, it will also cause Old Lady Mabel to leave because property taxes will go up. Why are higher house prices advantageous for the "neighbours" but not for Old Lady Mabel? Does she have a different deal than the "neighbours"?
Because the neighbors bought their houses at market peak, before the recession, so they now owe more than they could sell them for. Mabel bought her house 40 years ago for less than ten grand, and it's paid off. Her only expenses are property taxes and utilities. She is on a very small fixed income, and if her property taxes get too high, she won't be able to pay them, and will be forced to sell.
The comparatively affluent neighbors, on the other hand, who paid upwards of 300k for their houses, could either use the value increase to get out from under their mortgages, or might even accrue enough equity to refinance and cash out to buy a new car. A couple thousand a year in increased property taxes is nothing to them. They'd spend that much on shoes.
Remember all the feet fount in BC last year?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Severed_feet_discovery
It's not about Portland, but it makes me think about all the people here who walk into the ocean and never come back.
Nigel, just got around to that one, it's excellent.
Quote from: The Omnipotent Grinner on December 18, 2009, 07:10:55 PM
Nigel, just got around to that one, it's excellent.
Thank you. What the hell is that thing in your avatar, it's adorable/creepy!
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 19, 2009, 08:20:33 AM
Quote from: The Omnipotent Grinner on December 18, 2009, 07:10:55 PM
Nigel, just got around to that one, it's excellent.
Thank you. What the hell is that thing in your avatar, it's adorable/creepy!
:lulz:
I have no idea. I googled Cheshire Cat because I figured I could get a good result for a grinning avatar. That thing popped up. I had no choice.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 18, 2009, 05:16:37 PM
Remember all the feet fount in BC last year?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Severed_feet_discovery
It's not about Portland, but it makes me think about all the people here who walk into the ocean and never come back.
Ever think they might not have had a choice?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 19, 2009, 08:35:52 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on December 18, 2009, 05:16:37 PM
Remember all the feet fount in BC last year?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Severed_feet_discovery
It's not about Portland, but it makes me think about all the people here who walk into the ocean and never come back.
Ever think they might not have had a choice?
Of course they don't have a choice. They see the mud flats and the rocks and they think they can make it to the rocks and they don't understand about the mud flats or the tides or the waves.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2009, 01:15:49 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on December 18, 2009, 05:41:44 AM
TGGR, you ever been to the DF, Mexico? Either way, how would you appraise it in terms of high weirdness?
My personal survival method is to not go outside beyond 11pm (perhaps to go to nearby 24 hour stores, but NEVAR one hour before or after 2pm, which is when the true darkness reigns)
I have been many places in Mexico, back when I worked for a cargo airline.
But I know not this "DF". What does that stand for?
Its Distrito Federal, the thread sunk and i just saw your reply
BUT AFF you wont see this till like in 2 weeks
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2009, 05:48:58 PM
Near the corner of _____ and _____, there is an old brown house with an old grey car in front of it. This is the house of an artist, and not just any artist, this artist is really like Mary Shelley in that she feels she has to be miserable. Why she feels this way is unknown; perhaps she feels that she must be punished for being herself, or perhaps she just feels she isn't worthy of happiness.
So she does her art, and it's really good, and she does her thing, and she feels really bad.
As time goes on, the house will develop a miasma of sadness and regret, and eventually - after the children have grown up and learned to fly - it will become "that house" with the old lady with the crazy eyes that scares the scabs off the local yuppies. She will appreciate that on a level that even she doesn't understand.
Eventually, she will pass, as do we all, and the house will remain. And it will remember. People will rent it or buy it, but they won't stay, because there's just something not right about the place. People will feel sad when they're there, for no reason whatsoever, and maybe they'll hear and smell the kilns operating in the studio that is now a rec room.
And the house will fall into disuse and neglect, but it will remember.
Years after The Incident (for eventually there is always an Incident), when archaelogists are sifting through the remains of The City, they will find the remains of this house, and the remains of the kilns and racks stuffed away in a corner of the yard. And in one of these kilns, they will find a small stone shaped like a human heart. They will assume that it is a sculpture of some kind.
They'll be wrong.
Or kill me.
Bump, cuz he doesn't remember writing this.
I don't, actually.
Aw man. I LOVE this. It was such a meaningful piece to me, at a really difficult time in my life!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 28, 2010, 12:20:10 AM
I don't, actually.
That's the day you got poisoned by your meds. It was the klonipin, if I'm remembering right.
that stuff is heady. never mix it with xanax.
Quote from: Nigel on June 28, 2010, 01:26:21 AM
Aw man. I LOVE this. It was such a meaningful piece to me, at a really difficult time in my life!
Glad to hear it helped. :)