Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:35:13 PM

Title: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:35:13 PM
But I have too much rage.  Stupid fucking assistant, trying to make my goddamned heart explode.

Roger:  "Don't run that pump yet"

FA:  *runs pump*

Pump:  *smoking ruin* ----> $7000 + 12 man hours of labor's worth of "FA knows better than Roger."

Roger:  "UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG", spazzes out, goes to office, falls down, lays on office floor for 30 minutes.

I fucking hate him.  Oh, goddammit.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Dysnomia on January 04, 2010, 11:42:44 PM
You know what you have to do Roger.  Make that bastard pay for his insolence. 
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:43:16 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on January 04, 2010, 11:42:44 PM
You know what you have to do Roger.  Make that bastard pay for his insolence. 

As soon as I can stand up steadily, I am going to shit in his desk drawer.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 11:45:52 PM
WHY DON'T THE MORTALS JUST LISTEN TO YOU?
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:47:26 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 11:45:52 PM
WHY DON'T THE MORTALS JUST LISTEN TO YOU?

Because they know better, Nigel.  I mean, we have a bad valve, and the pump isn't getting fed, the obvious think to do is turn the pump on and run it while it's starved, right?

Silly old Roger wanted to fix the valve first.  What a dumbass.

I am going to do something rotten as soon as I stop hurting.  Yes, yes I am.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 11:51:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:43:16 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on January 04, 2010, 11:42:44 PM
You know what you have to do Roger.  Make that bastard pay for his insolence. 

As soon as I can stand up steadily, I am going to shit in his desk drawer.

:lulz:

I don't suppose he brings his own lunch to work, does he? Because taking one bite out of his lunch every day, or replacing parts of it, would make him insane.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:53:10 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 11:51:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:43:16 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on January 04, 2010, 11:42:44 PM
You know what you have to do Roger.  Make that bastard pay for his insolence. 

As soon as I can stand up steadily, I am going to shit in his desk drawer.

:lulz:

I don't suppose he brings his own lunch to work, does he? Because taking one bite out of his lunch every day, or replacing parts of it, would make him insane.


Too late.  I poomped.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Dysnomia on January 04, 2010, 11:54:05 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 11:51:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 04, 2010, 11:43:16 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on January 04, 2010, 11:42:44 PM
You know what you have to do Roger.  Make that bastard pay for his insolence. 

As soon as I can stand up steadily, I am going to shit in his desk drawer.

:lulz:

I don't suppose he brings his own lunch to work, does he? Because taking one bite out of his lunch every day, or replacing parts of it, would make him insane.


:lulz:

yes this too!

Or you could poomp in the lunch sack on top of his lunch
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 11:55:23 PM
It's never too late for BOTH!
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Richter on January 04, 2010, 11:57:28 PM
Plastic - wrapped turd UNDEr everything else in the lunchbag.  Just for a dramatic reveal
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Dysnomia on January 04, 2010, 11:59:14 PM
rosebud IN the sammich


I'm sure he'll appreciate the addition.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: President Television on January 04, 2010, 11:59:26 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 04, 2010, 11:57:28 PM
Plastic - wrapped turd UNDEr everything else in the lunchbag.  Just for a dramatic reveal

It's all in the presentation.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 12:50:11 AM
Quote from: Shrunkenheadspace on January 04, 2010, 11:59:26 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 04, 2010, 11:57:28 PM
Plastic - wrapped turd UNDEr everything else in the lunchbag.  Just for a dramatic reveal

It's all in the presentation.

I am the Iron Chef of POOMP!
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 01:29:17 PM
This might explain the text I got from you last night.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 01:33:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 01:29:17 PM
This might explain the text I got from you last night.

Might.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 01:42:37 PM
Apologies for not getting back to you, but the Mrs and I were playing "Captain Carl Goes on Shore Leave."
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Cramulus on January 05, 2010, 02:22:44 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

did you really for real shit in his desk drawer?


:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:



Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 05, 2010, 03:30:51 PM
And here I watched the news waiting to hear of some idiot in AZ having to have a plumbing tool removed from his brain via his rectum as that was the point of entry and I got NOTHING!!!!    :argh!:

I guess desk drawer poomp is acceptable!!   :lulz:

I suggest making some ex-lax brownies just for him......  Then HE can poomp in his pants!!  You would think he would have learned by now....  :roll: 

Sorry I missed the call, we were doing the OMG we can't find our asses and we have to go back to school tomorrow routine!  With all the yelling I didn't hear the phone.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 04:02:06 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 05, 2010, 02:22:44 PM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

did you really for real shit in his desk drawer?


:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:





My boss had a conniption this morning, but I denied everything and pointed out that the door had been left unlocked, and it's not like there's a shortage of people that would do that to him.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 04:03:57 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 05, 2010, 03:30:51 PM
And here I watched the news waiting to hear of some idiot in AZ having to have a plumbing tool removed from his brain via his rectum as that was the point of entry and I got NOTHING!!!!    :argh!:

I guess desk drawer poomp is acceptable!!   :lulz:

I suggest making some ex-lax brownies just for him......  Then HE can poomp in his pants!!  You would think he would have learned by now....  :roll: 

Sorry I missed the call, we were doing the OMG we can't find our asses and we have to go back to school tomorrow routine!  With all the yelling I didn't hear the phone.

It's all good.  Today is shaping up to be a much nicer day.  Filthy assistant is steaming mad, my boss has locked himself in his office and won't answer the phone, the engineer took the day off, and me and my crew are positively jovial as the world burns down around us.

Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 04:05:14 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 01:42:37 PM
Apologies for not getting back to you, but the Mrs and I were playing "Captain Carl Goes on Shore Leave."

Certainly.  There ARE priorities, and we are nothing if not professional.

I am so full of hate today that I glow in the dark and can't be allowed near gasoline.   :)
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 04:12:40 PM
I should invite you to sleep in our fireplace.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 04:15:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 04:12:40 PM
I should invite you to sleep in our fireplace.

BAD IDEA.

Sure, I'll keep the house warm, but my epic outgassing will result in random 9' jets of flame roaring out of the fireplace and incinerating your pets.

Heating bills are easier to deal with that roasted cat all over the wall.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Suu on January 05, 2010, 04:18:32 PM
You didn't use the Pink Slipper? General Stuart is going to be disappointed, after he gave you all those great ideas last night while we were freezing our asses off in a car waiting for our fencing instructor to show up.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 04:20:00 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 05, 2010, 04:18:32 PM
You didn't use the Pink Slipper? General Stuart is going to be disappointed, after he gave you all those great ideas last night while we were freezing our asses off in a car waiting for our fencing instructor to show up.

I don't have an apple-corer.  Yet.

Lunchtime is coming.  Oh, yes.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 05:05:30 PM
Boss just stopped in while I was in a heated argument with Filthy Assistant.  Filthy Assistant has been sent home to contemplate his crimes against the natural order, and I have been given a free hand in restoring order.  And to "stop the mad shitter".

And the icon of "Bob" on the wall next to my desk beams down on me in all his glory.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Richter on January 05, 2010, 05:55:16 PM
This is a fine example of how malicious abandonment of reason can convince others to take it up.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 06:12:49 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 05, 2010, 05:55:16 PM
This is a fine example of how malicious abandonment of reason can convince others to take it up.

Yes.  Plus, I have been assigned to investigate my own wrongdoings.

Ho ho...many old scores will be settled.  There will be bonfires in the hills and the hooting of my minions.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Cramulus on January 05, 2010, 07:04:26 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: I am laughing so hard right now
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: 0 on January 05, 2010, 07:57:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 04:20:00 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 05, 2010, 04:18:32 PM
You didn't use the Pink Slipper? General Stuart is going to be disappointed, after he gave you all those great ideas last night while we were freezing our asses off in a car waiting for our fencing instructor to show up.

I don't have an apple-corer.  Yet.

Lunchtime is coming.  Oh, yes.

I swear Roger, say the word, i will construct the infernal thing and mail it to you. PROJECT: SLIPPERFIST WILL NOT BE CONTAINED!
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 07:59:04 PM
I should tell you that the less I know what you're talking about, the better my mental images get.


:fap:
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 09:48:27 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 07:59:04 PM
I should tell you that the less I know what you're talking about, the better my mental images get.


:fap:

Horrorsex Powertoys.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: 0 on January 05, 2010, 11:28:22 PM
wonderfukk guttrippers
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:03:11 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 09:48:27 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 05, 2010, 07:59:04 PM
I should tell you that the less I know what you're talking about, the better my mental images get.


:fap:

Horrorsex Powertoys.

HOLY CRAP

I really hope you make that someone's holy name. Because... yes. Because.
Title: Re: I need to spend less time on my office floor.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:04:27 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 06:12:49 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 05, 2010, 05:55:16 PM
This is a fine example of how malicious abandonment of reason can convince others to take it up.

Yes.  Plus, I have been assigned to investigate my own wrongdoings.

Ho ho...many old scores will be settled.  There will be bonfires in the hills and the hooting of my minions.

THIS

made me giddy with glee!