If you were sent naked into a performing ring, what is the largest animal you think you could kill, bare handed?
PROTIP: you might want to try avoiding predators.
Wait. I'm only allowed to use my hands? No other body parts?
A goldfish. No troll.
hahahhaha this is a good question!
probably a manatee
Provided we begin stationary in our own corners of the performing ring, and that said ring resembles a boxing ring; a blue whale.
Quote from: Richter on January 08, 2010, 05:25:27 PM
Provided we begin stationary in our own corners of the performing ring, and that said ring resembles a boxing ring; a blue whale.
:lulz:
To be honest, I am such a mush about animals that I probably would get too worked up and start crying when attempting to kill something and thus would not succeed.
Unless it was a spider or something like that, but even then, I get squicky about touching them.
Yeah, I'm kind of a stereotype in that way.
:argh!:
I don't think water animals on dry land should count.....
For me, probably a sheep or a goat, though I might be able to take out an old cow!
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Do we get extra points if we enjoy it? Because if that is the case, the kid's dad is 6' + and usually around 280 lbs.
I could kill him without a weapon.
I think a giraffe; but i think it would take a while.
Quote from: Cramulus on January 08, 2010, 05:17:06 PM
hahahhaha this is a good question!
probably a manatee
Those things are bigger than you think. Though my brother accidentally hooked one last year and did whatever he could to get the hook out but ended up having to cut the line. Then a few days later they found a dead manatee wrapped in fishing line in the same inlet. The man cried for days...even though he was pretty sure it wasn't the one he snagged, he just felt terrible. :sad:
A DINOSAUR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microraptor)
Ryan Seacrest
Quote from: Khara on January 08, 2010, 05:37:17 PM
:argh!:
I don't think water animals on dry land should count.....
Stipulation not made with challenge.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
I planned on this. My coup de grace will be defecating down the blowhole.
Quote from: Richter on January 08, 2010, 05:57:58 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 08, 2010, 05:37:17 PM
:argh!:
I don't think water animals on dry land should count.....
Stipulation not made with challenge.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
I planned on this. My coup de grace will be defecating down the blowhole.
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I'd love to say Lion but, in all honesty I reckon one of them would fuck me over big-time. Two or three rottweilers would be a good fight, tho. I'd give myself 50-50 on the outcome of that one.
a human
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 08, 2010, 06:05:28 PM
I'd love to say Lion but, in all honesty I reckon one of them would fuck me over big-time. Two or three rottweilers would be a good fight, tho. I'd give myself 50-50 on the outcome of that one.
What happened to you killing a golden eagle?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 08, 2010, 06:00:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I would pay a lot of money to see you wrestle Roseanne.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 06:24:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 08, 2010, 06:00:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I would pay a lot of money to see you wrestle Roseanne.
Good. This isn't communism, after all. If I'm taking my life in my clenched fists, I expect to be paid for it.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 06:24:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 08, 2010, 06:00:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I would pay a lot of money to see you wrestle Roseanne.
Yes, I would too!!
I wonder if she would bounce of kind of flop like goo?
Quote from: -Kel- on January 08, 2010, 06:18:24 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 08, 2010, 06:05:28 PM
I'd love to say Lion but, in all honesty I reckon one of them would fuck me over big-time. Two or three rottweilers would be a good fight, tho. I'd give myself 50-50 on the outcome of that one.
What happened to you killing a golden eagle?
A golden eagle is much smaller than 3 rottweilers. Thread says "largest"
Besides, I thought you just wanted to punch the eagle.
The terms of the fight are fairly unclear.
That said, I've been doing a hell of a job destroying the entire global ecosystem, just by being a part of western society.
Do I win?
Quote from: Richter on January 08, 2010, 06:37:42 PM
Besides, I thought you just wanted to punch the eagle.
oh yeah, my mistake.
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 06:38:28 PM
The terms of the fight are fairly unclear.
That said, I've been doing a hell of a job destroying the entire global ecosystem, just by being a part of western society.
Do I win?
No, it has to be in the ring. What other terms do you need?
It's you, in a ring, with some other animal. Both naked. One of you kills the other. The end.
Quote from: Khara on January 08, 2010, 06:27:05 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 06:24:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 08, 2010, 06:00:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I would pay a lot of money to see you wrestle Roseanne.
Yes, I would too!!
I wonder if she would bounce of kind of flop like goo?
Have you seen her lately? She's actually lost a lot of weight.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 07:26:47 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 08, 2010, 06:27:05 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 06:24:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 08, 2010, 06:00:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I would pay a lot of money to see you wrestle Roseanne.
Yes, I would too!!
I wonder if she would bounce of kind of flop like goo?
Have you seen her lately? She's actually lost a lot of weight.
I actually thought she was dead until Roger mentioned her.
That would have to be a hell of a lot of weight though....
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 07:26:03 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 06:38:28 PM
The terms of the fight are fairly unclear.
That said, I've been doing a hell of a job destroying the entire global ecosystem, just by being a part of western society.
Do I win?
No, it has to be in the ring. What other terms do you need?
It's you, in a ring, with some other animal. Both naked. One of you kills the other. The end.
How big is the ring?
Also, "could kill" or "would kill"?
Good point. Lets talk about the purse first. I mean rotties are nice dogs. Gotta be at least a 6-pack at stake or there's no way I'd kill them.
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 07:29:24 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 07:26:03 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 06:38:28 PM
The terms of the fight are fairly unclear.
That said, I've been doing a hell of a job destroying the entire global ecosystem, just by being a part of western society.
Do I win?
No, it has to be in the ring. What other terms do you need?
It's you, in a ring, with some other animal. Both naked. One of you kills the other. The end.
How big is the ring?
Also, "could kill" or "would kill"?
Could.
Let's say diameter of the ring is 50 feet. Yes, I'm Canadian and I work in feet. What of it?
Do we have a consideration for aquatic animals? Is a platform of moderate size (2 meters. Yes I'm from the US and I can work in meters, what of it?) allowed?
I'm pretty sure that given enough time, I could kill any herbivore... even an elephant or a rhino.
Quote from: Richter on January 08, 2010, 07:48:04 PM
Do we have a consideration for aquatic animals? Is a platform of moderate size (2 meters. Yes I'm from the US and I can work in meters, what of it?) allowed?
Sure, I'll go with that.
How the fuck are you going to kill an elephant with your bare hands? "Given enough time" that they starve to death is cheating :argh!:
A human. specifically one of the ones with a reinforced scooter.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 08, 2010, 07:54:33 PM
How the fuck are you going to kill an elephant with your bare hands? "Given enough time" that they starve to death is cheating :argh!:
Herbivores are prey, and therefore have different innate reactions than predators. Being non-threatening to prey is different than being non-threatening to predators.
Also, the eyesocket goes straight to the brain, my arm is long, and my nails are sharp.
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 07:57:51 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on January 08, 2010, 07:54:33 PM
How the fuck are you going to kill an elephant with your bare hands? "Given enough time" that they starve to death is cheating :argh!:
Herbivores are prey, and therefore have different innate reactions than predators. Being non-threatening to prey is different than being non-threatening to predators.
Also, the eyebuttsocket goes straight to the brain liver and kidneys, my arm is long, and my nails are sharp.
-JohNyx,
not squeamish of a slow, gory, messy kill.
Five bucks you couldn't tear through the colon with your bare hands.
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 08:10:12 PM
Five bucks you couldn't tear through the colon with your bare hands.
This is precisely why I had hobnails put into my engineer boots.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 07:54:00 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 08, 2010, 07:48:04 PM
Do we have a consideration for aquatic animals? Is a platform of moderate size (2 meters. Yes I'm from the US and I can work in meters, what of it?) allowed?
Sure, I'll go with that.
Then I am confident I can take on a 250 lb. shark, toothy variety, exact species irrelevant, with a reasonable chance of sucess.
I'd second the shark thing but I still maintain the rotties would be more of a crowd pleaser (win or lose)
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 07:26:03 PM
Quote from: LMNO on January 08, 2010, 06:38:28 PM
The terms of the fight are fairly unclear.
That said, I've been doing a hell of a job destroying the entire global ecosystem, just by being a part of western society.
Do I win?
No, it has to be in the ring. What other terms do you need?
It's you, in a ring, with some other animal. Both naked. One of you kills the other. The end.
if we're both naked, it's not even fair. I'll take anything and win.
ECH,
legendary for fighting naked.
ECH,
not joking about that either.
I think I could best a penguin at a match of fisticuffs.
Quote from: JohNyx on January 08, 2010, 05:41:18 PM
I think a giraffe; but i think it would take a while.
Those WoW giraffes are tough!
Note that I never answered.
I'm a pacifist, and wouldn't kill anything you bloodthirsty bastards.
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 08:55:18 PM
Note that I never answered.
I'm a pacifist, and wouldn't kill anything you bloodthirsty bastards.
Its either you or them, you existential hippie :argh!:
I think fish should be fought in a pool or it doesn't count. They would just flop around and die within 15 minutes or so. Aquatic mammals would have to be up for discussion. That is only fair.
Also, is any footwear allowed? Because I have these 6 inch heels that are metal and.......
Let me clarify; A pool of sufficent size for said animal to move freely and attack from all angles, with a 2 meter platform for the person fightign it.
Quote from: Richter on January 08, 2010, 09:14:27 PM
Let me clarify; A pool of sufficent size for said animal to move freely and attack from all angles, with a 2 meter platform for the person fightign it.
See, now that would be fair. Scary as shit, but fair.
I would prefer the damned rhino to a shark.....
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 08:55:18 PM
Note that I never answered.
I'm a pacifist, and wouldn't kill anything you bloodthirsty bastards.
What if you're hungry?
this is what sarah palin would do....but with a gun
(http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/political-pictures-sarah-palin-bear-shot.jpg)
A blue whale.
Because one, they're not very manouverable on land and two, their throat size is smaller than an orange, making it easy to suffocate. God, I'm such a zoology geek.
Giant ground sloth
Quote from: Cain on January 08, 2010, 10:34:46 PM
A blue whale.
Because one, they're not very manouverable on land and two, their throat size is smaller than an orange, making it easy to suffocate. God, I'm such a zoology geek.
But they breathe through a blowhole. :?
Not when I'm done with it, it wont.
:lulz:
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 08:55:18 PM
Note that I never answered.
I'm a pacifist, and wouldn't kill anything you bloodthirsty bastards.
I though it was clarified to "could kill" not would.
Damn, I only just read the thread and saw Richter beat me to it on the blue whale :sad:
I could definitely kill a dog. All you gotta do is grab a hold of their forearms and yank. I could probably not kill a cow without a hand weapon because cows are huge and stompy. Big cats are right out. Manatee sounds easy, given time. I could probably kill a dolphin too, but that would be, you know, wrong. It would have to be a criminal dolphin.
As for the earlier claim about killing a giraffe, I call bullshit. If you think being kicked by a mule is bad, imagine being kicked by something many times its size. Your head would fly off.
Would a rapist dolphin (http://scienceray.com/biology/marine-biology/not-so-cute-dolphin-gang-rape-2/) be OK?
Quote from: Cain on January 08, 2010, 11:57:09 PM
Would a rapist dolphin (http://scienceray.com/biology/marine-biology/not-so-cute-dolphin-gang-rape-2/) be OK?
I would murder the living shit out of a rapist dolphin.
Quote from: Cain on January 08, 2010, 11:57:09 PM
Would a rapist dolphin (http://scienceray.com/biology/marine-biology/not-so-cute-dolphin-gang-rape-2/) be OK?
:aaa:
Someday this thread will get necromanced, as an example.
I can also kill boogers with my bare hands. Straight from my nostrils to the grave. There are millions of organisms in those. MASS PHLEGMOCIDE!
Quote from: Felix on January 08, 2010, 11:41:07 PM
I could definitely kill a dog. All you gotta do is grab a hold of their forearms and yank. I could probably not kill a cow without a hand weapon because cows are huge and stompy. Big cats are right out. Manatee sounds easy, given time. I could probably kill a dolphin too, but that would be, you know, wrong. It would have to be a criminal dolphin.
There's the tale of an old Japanese teacher and unemployed warrior who would kill cows barehanded. He was from one of the old Okinawan schools that basically train your hands into clubs from age 3. He'd hammerfist off each horn, then crack the thing right between the eyes, and the combined concussion would kill the cow.
Quote from: rygD on January 08, 2010, 11:14:50 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 08:55:18 PM
Note that I never answered.
I'm a pacifist, and wouldn't kill anything you bloodthirsty bastards.
I though it was clarified to "could kill" not would.
Damn. You're right. :|
Foiled again.
An ostrich or a big dog I guess.
IMA WRASSLE ME A PANDA!
Quote from: Felix on January 08, 2010, 11:41:07 PM
I could definitely kill a dog. All you gotta do is grab a hold of their forearms and yank. I could probably not kill a cow without a hand weapon because cows are huge and stompy. Big cats are right out. Manatee sounds easy, given time. I could probably kill a dolphin too, but that would be, you know, wrong. It would have to be a criminal dolphin.
As for the earlier claim about killing a giraffe, I call bullshit. If you think being kicked by a mule is bad, imagine being kicked by something many times its size. Your head would fly off.
If you tackled the giraffe right in the knee cap, im sure it would bust.
-JohNyx,
knows the higher the ride, the harder the fall.
(of course if it falls on top of you, it would be a tie,
wouldnt it.)
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on January 09, 2010, 03:28:09 AM
IMA WRASSLE ME A PANDA!
They look cute, but, they're still bears. No way I'm messing with a panda.
I wanna fuck up a koala.
I don't know if I'd actually win, but I bet it'd be a lot of fun to try.
This fread is just begging for some epic WOMP!
Quote from: Captain Kerv (Epimetheus) on January 09, 2010, 04:58:21 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on January 09, 2010, 03:28:09 AM
IMA WRASSLE ME A PANDA!
They look cute, but, they're still bears. No way I'm messing with a panda.
Yes, but they're
vegetarian pandas. They chose to eat bamboo, no shit, they still have carniverous animal stomachs.
I could kill a coral.
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on January 09, 2010, 03:28:09 AM
IMA WRASSLE ME A PANDA!
Pardon my sources, but they were the first results I found:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7743748.stm
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28127056/
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,304249,00.html
Owned by pandas.
Silly monkeys! :lulz:
Maybe Fred wants to wrestle Red Pandas and not Giant Pandas:
(http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Support/MakeDonation/GivingTree/Images/RedPanda.jpg)
(http://www.codecarnival.com/images/pandastanding.jpg)
For scale purposes, remember it's standing on the Great Wall of China.
Fred is going to attack Firefox?
"Could"? A dog, midsize, if I had to. But I'd probably get bitten all to hell.
"Would"? Depends on it if it's him/her vs. me, life vs. death of me or mine. The "have to be nekkid" part is hard b/c animals can really do some bloody work on you if you have no clothes on to catch their claws on or snag on their teefs.
Claw-based animals I reckon are the worst cos they can wail at you with 4 paws full of that shit, usually with reactions and speed faster than yours.
Teeth generally aren't too much of a worry cos it's one attack vector and you can generally grab one of the other bits and hold the teeth away from you, like with dogs.
I think I could probably take a baboon.
Quote from: Zenpeanut on January 09, 2010, 08:32:45 PM
I think I could probably take a baboon.
Now that has the potential to be a fucking good fight. You'd have to be a pretty shit-hot fighter, tho, I reckon.
I know for certain I can take out a chihuahua. And if flora count, I will fuck UP a fern or a walnut.
On speculation...I'd say...a wild pig.
I would totally fuck up a llama.
Quote from: Alty on January 09, 2010, 08:49:33 PM
I know for certain I can take out a chihuahua. And if flora count, I will fuck UP a fern or a walnut.
On speculation...I'd say...a wild pig.
Are you fucking shitting me? :lulz:
(http://i580.photobucket.com/albums/ss242/explanoite/image001.jpg)
While I was looking up wild board stories, this article made me sad: http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/hogzilla-not/
:cry: Poor Fred.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 09, 2010, 08:54:15 PM
Quote from: Alty on January 09, 2010, 08:49:33 PM
I know for certain I can take out a chihuahua. And if flora count, I will fuck UP a fern or a walnut.
On speculation...I'd say...a wild pig.
Are you fucking shitting me? :lulz:
(http://i580.photobucket.com/albums/ss242/explanoite/image001.jpg)
Bring it.
I can crack a walnut with my bare hands.
Fuck that pig. IN THE ASS.
Yeah, in retrospect I believe I mean one of these:
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/piglet.jpg)
that hypothetically got out into the wild.
D'awww, it's like a living little pork cutlet. :cry:
Quote from: Zenpeanut on January 09, 2010, 08:32:45 PM
I think I could probably take a baboon.
Do not EVER fuck with a non human primate. They are crazy strong. Humans are at the really weak end of the spectrum. We got tools and thumbs, sure, and we NEED them.
I googled "wild pig" by the way, and found this
http://www.rascalssanantonio.com/PIG%20SEX%201.JPG (surprisingly not unsafe for work)
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 09, 2010, 08:56:33 PM
While I was looking up wild board stories, this article made me sad: http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/hogzilla-not/
:cry: Poor Fred.
MY TRUE FORM REVEALED!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :x AND THEY SHOT ME TOO!!!!!
Quote from: Richter on January 09, 2010, 09:07:32 PM
Quote from: Zenpeanut on January 09, 2010, 08:32:45 PM
I think I could probably take a baboon.
Do not EVER fuck with a non human primate. They are crazy strong. Humans are at the really weak end of the spectrum. We got tools and thumbs, sure, and we NEED them.
Yeah. I had a friend who worked at the zoo; a big burly guy. One day a little chimp ran up to him, reached up, and -snap- broke his arm just like that.
Do not meddle in the affairs of primates, for they are blatant and quick to anger.
The wild pigs that nearly ran in front of our car last week in Germany (WOOT I SAW WILD PIGS ZOMG) didn't seem that incredibly huge as the pic you linked, Nigel.
Still, I have no idea how I''d kill them with my bare hands, they seem so round and solid! Where to break them??
You must grab them by the tusks! From there they will be like so much pig-shaped clay.
A stripper. I hope this hasn't been posted already.
I could maybe kill an ant, on a good day. (I'm pretty weak.) Not that I would, I like insects.
Oh jeebus. Even if you weren't fucking with apes or larger monkeys, the little bastards could still fuck you up.
With all their horrible diseases.
You . . . human you
Not me, I'm a sheeple!
Baaaa.
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on January 09, 2010, 07:18:24 AM
I wanna fuck up a koala.
I don't know if I'd actually win, but I bet it'd be a lot of fun to try.
Koalas are slow, lazy, and have almost no natural defenses when on the ground. It'd be easy to take one on.
The largest animal I could kill with my bare hands: three-toed sloth.
http://kentbeatty.com/2009/02/19/chimps-gone-berserk-woman-mauled-baby-killed/
crazy things
I could take down the Hoff.
(http://i.imgur.com/dw3bZ.jpg)
Ok that was seriously the fucking cutest thing I have ever seen
(http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/2980/dailymailgoat.jpg)
I could kill this wretched creature. And the goat, if need be.
I guess this kind of thing is inevitable after the content rush of the last couple months.
I could probably kill this:
(http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/372/92/Sally_Struthers.0.0.0x0.327x512.jpeg)
Quote from: General Stuart on January 10, 2010, 08:02:22 PM
I could probably kill this:
(http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/372/92/Sally_Struthers.0.0.0x0.327x512.jpeg)
I don't know if I'd want to touch that.
:mittens: :mittens: :mittens:
best thread on PD
I'd be comfortably confident of my chances against a human. But thinking about a big critter, and we are proportionally so much weaker than them. Apes would be out of the question. Chimps are like little hairy uBersKinz, strong enough to pull off your arm. Big teeth too. Out of the question. Gorillas are twice the size, but I'd rather take on a Gorilla than a Adult Chimp. Oran utangs are as strong as JCB Earthmovers, and the Males are aggressive, and are well known for putting the raep on anything they can catch. So nuh uh! Monkeys, I reckon I could kill a Baboon. They're not so tough. They can kill Dogs though. Anything up to a large Pits are quickly despatched. The Dogs run in to get a bite, and the Baboon wraps its at arms and legs around, and then gets those huge teeth stuck in! And the thing to remember about Baboons is they have four hands. (2 hand/feet).
But it's funny, I've seen film footage of Baboons, and one Adult Baboon will think nothing of fronting out a pair of grown Cheetahs, without any fear at all. But one Leopard, will have a whole Troop of thirty Adults racing for the nearest tree / high up escape. They are terrified of Leopards. And so am I. So big cats are off the Billing. But I would take on three Cheetahs. And win. Cheetahs have much weaker smaller mouths than say, a Tiger or Lion. I'd stand a better chance against three Cheetahs than Pent would against three Rottys. For sure.
Rottys are full size Mastiffs, 12 Stone each when they're grown. They have awesomely powerful jaws too. They can run along at fult tilt, jump 7 feet up in the air, catch the branch of a tree, and hang there just by their jaw power. That's awesome when you consider 12 stone moving at up to 15 mile per hour. They were bred by the Romans specially for tearing into a charging line of Cavaly and taking out the horses. And Pent reckons three of them? Two of them would be the Famous Scottish over optomism. Three? Nah, If Scotsmen were capable of killing three Rottweillers each, then It wouldn't have been The English ruled the Empire for so long.
Gorillas, yeah,
I also would take on an 5 -6ft Alligator or Croc, Especially in this weather where I'd have the advantage of them being torpid and slow. Just have to get their jaws shut, (one hand) then poke an eye out, with fingers, and gouge at socket until movement ceases. How hard can it be?
I wouldn't take an Ostrich on, they are fucking insane, mad as a tripping chicken, and if you just imagine them with no feathers,they are Velociraptors! nope, they're more deadly than the proper Reptiles, steer clear.
I forgot Bonobos. That might be tricky, because they wont fight. But If I put the sex on them, for long enough, I'm sure it would die before I did. And if attacked by a Chimp, you should get your dick out (assuming you have one) and they run the fuck away. Chimps have tiny little dicks, littler than Chinamen apparently and they really don't wan't to have to groom and bitch for no Human, so they run. Just in case.
That's what my friend, Lie Bot said, anyway.
So my choice is the 6FT Gator. (Then the Bonobo) :fap:
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
I thought about a Snake, but it's not as easy as you'd think to kill a big one. Or even find one that's big enough to fight. Even when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes. And some of them are venomous, and can give you a nasty bite. That's why I opted for a Alligator. At least their bite isn't poisonous.
I could kill a fully grown human. I wouldn't even think of fucking with a squirrel, or anything larger than a large beetle.
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 04:16:09 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
I thought about a Snake, but it's not as easy as you'd think to kill a big one. Or even find one that's big enough to fight. Even when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes. And some of them are venomous, and can give you a nasty bite. That's why I opted for a Alligator. At least their bite isn't poisonous.
All the really big ones are constrictors, innit? Couldn't you just stomp on the head?
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 06:14:52 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 04:16:09 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
I thought about a Snake, but it's not as easy as you'd think to kill a big one. Or even find one that's big enough to fight. Even when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes. And some of them are venomous, and can give you a nasty bite. That's why I opted for a Alligator. At least their bite isn't poisonous.
All the really big ones are constrictors, innit? Couldn't you just stomp on the head?
You could, but they are very tough, their jaws unhinge too, and they have teeth nearly as big as a dogs. Thy don't get big enough to swallow humams because we are too wide at the shoulders,and our arms won't go down.
WTF is wrong with you people?
I HAVE OPPOSING THUMBS AND WILL USE ANY FUCKING WEAPON I CAN WRAP MY HANDS AROUND.
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 30, 2011, 08:05:51 PM
WTF is wrong with you people?
I HAVE OPPOSING THUMBS AND WILL USE ANY FUCKING WEAPON I CAN WRAP MY HANDS AROUND.
sooooo, they're always at war with each other?? or do they just disagree politely? :wink:
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 30, 2011, 08:05:51 PM
WTF is wrong with you people?
I HAVE OPPOSING THUMBS AND WILL USE ANY FUCKING WEAPON I CAN WRAP MY HANDS AROUND.
Not the point of the thread. BARE HANDS or GTFO.
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 30, 2011, 08:05:51 PM
WTF is wrong with you people?
I HAVE OPPOSING THUMBS AND WILL USE ANY FUCKING WEAPON I CAN WRAP MY HANDS AROUND.
You're not manly enough. Go fuck yourself.
/
:cheney:
(I'[m with you Charley) :wink:
Lets have a PD Cross species Deathmatch Cage fight. We'll get as many big fierce animals as we can, trying to stick to the preferences stated ITT, (Blue Whale might be tricky, and Manatees are protected, Sshhh,) Then take it in turns to go 2 rounds at a time, with whatever Animal is left in Cage. Proper Animals though, not just some bits of livestock. OK?
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 06:20:47 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 06:14:52 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 04:16:09 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
I thought about a Snake, but it's not as easy as you'd think to kill a big one. Or even find one that's big enough to fight. Even when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes. And some of them are venomous, and can give you a nasty bite. That's why I opted for a Alligator. At least their bite isn't poisonous.
All the really big ones are constrictors, innit? Couldn't you just stomp on the head?
You could, but they are very tough, their jaws unhinge too, and they have teeth nearly as big as a dogs. Thy don't get big enough to swallow humams because we are too wide at the shoulders,and our arms won't go down.
Yeah but I'm upright and they're permanently supine. Couldn't I just keep kicking the cunt until something breaks?
I made myself sad now because I like snakes :(
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 08:45:15 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 06:20:47 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 06:14:52 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 04:16:09 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
I thought about a Snake, but it's not as easy as you'd think to kill a big one. Or even find one that's big enough to fight. Even when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes. And some of them are venomous, and can give you a nasty bite. That's why I opted for a Alligator. At least their bite isn't poisonous.
All the really big ones are constrictors, innit? Couldn't you just stomp on the head?
You could, but they are very tough, their jaws unhinge too, and they have teeth nearly as big as a dogs. Thy don't get big enough to swallow humams because we are too wide at the shoulders,and our arms won't go down.
Yeah but I'm upright and they're permanently supine. Couldn't I just keep kicking the cunt until something breaks?
I made myself sad now because I like snakes :(
You ever watched constrictors move in for the kill? You would be all HYA KICKKCIKCIKOMFUFKFUKFUKFUKGETITOFFMENAOITHASTEETHANDITISCRUSHINGMYRIBS!!!!!!!!!!
They are Apex Predators.
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 08:45:15 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 06:20:47 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 06:14:52 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 04:16:09 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Are we going by length or body mass? Because a big snake would probably be an easy kill.
I thought about a Snake, but it's not as easy as you'd think to kill a big one. Or even find one that's big enough to fight. Even when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes. And some of them are venomous, and can give you a nasty bite. That's why I opted for a Alligator. At least their bite isn't poisonous.
All the really big ones are constrictors, innit? Couldn't you just stomp on the head?
You could, but they are very tough, their jaws unhinge too, and they have teeth nearly as big as a dogs. Thy don't get big enough to swallow humams because we are too wide at the shoulders,and our arms won't go down.
Yeah but I'm upright and they're permanently supine. Couldn't I just keep kicking the cunt until something breaks?
I made myself sad now because I like snakes :(
Hey guys, was here that I saw that thing about the U.S. special forces training manual saying that to avoid getting eaten by an anaconda you let it start to swallow you.
Yeah I saw something about that. But you have to make sure it starts at your legs, and not your head.
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 09:30:44 PM
Yeah I saw something about that. But you have to make sure it starts at your legs, and not your head.
Yeah, and then when you're knee deep, your pull your knife and hold it so that the fucker slits it own throat when it continues or something to that effect. Hardcore shit. :lulz:
And then you eat the snake, right?
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 10:21:55 PM
And then you eat the snake, right?
Of course. It would have done the same for you.
Quote from: Vartox on January 30, 2011, 10:32:45 PM
Quote from: Slyph on January 30, 2011, 10:21:55 PM
And then you eat the snake, right?
Of course. It would have done the same for you.
It would be churlish not to.
I would take on any reptile of any size, provided the fight takes place in a ring outside my house.
An ostrich. Provided it wasn't already pissed off when it got to the ring.
As for killing a giraffe, imagine a man with an arm as thick as that neck, beating you with a skull.
It can take a group of people to hold down even a sedated giraffe, and one person can struggle to keep control of a single leg.
Fuck that.
Quote from: BadBeast on January 30, 2011, 04:16:09 PMEven when you chop one in half with a spade, the two ends go crawling off and become two separate snakes.
Dude that only works if you manage to chop it length-wise.
Hmm. I think I could probably take a sparrow-sized bird, and maybe some of the mid-sized rodents. Maybe.
A small dog- But my luck, fucker would be rabid >.>
(http://www.professionalplanner.com.au/images/stories/blogs/rabid%20dog.jpg)
Fuck fighting an ostrich. They can kick you to death quite easily.
Well yeah, I would never test if it knew an attack was coming or wanted to start the fight itself.
Can we pick a specific animal?
because i think i could take Manuel Uribe, no problem...
and he's huge.
A Galapagos tortoise, those things seem kinda slow. Just need to make sure it keeps poking its head out.
Added bonuses: they evolved in an environment free of natural predators, and are incredibly delicious.
I can kill a GOLDFISH with MY BARE FUCKING HANDS! RAH!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 08, 2010, 06:00:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 08, 2010, 05:39:08 PM
You can use any part of your body, I meant "bare hands" figuratively, not literally.
And, keep in mind that a human is an animal too.
Roseanne Barr.
I was doing this shit before it was cool. :cigaw:
Quote from: Cain on January 08, 2010, 11:57:09 PM
Would a rapist dolphin (http://scienceray.com/biology/marine-biology/not-so-cute-dolphin-gang-rape-2/) be OK?
i first read this as a racist dolphin...
but yeah... i would probably require a weapon. Like a rocket laucher or something. :zombie: :backpedal: :omg:
Although we would not presently be in the same situation, I can understand how dignity is God given.