Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: AFK on February 09, 2010, 11:30:24 AM

Title: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 09, 2010, 11:30:24 AM
I've finally figured out a way to resolve my firewall problems at work, that prevent me from conversing with you spags during business hours.

Here is my plan. 

You guys buy bus tickets, or plane tickets if it suits you.

You come to Maine.

You all apply to work at my agency (okay, well Ratatosk probably shouldn't apply ;) ). 

We become a team of awesome and win and I get to laugh more.

The End.

It's gotta work, right?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Cramulus on February 09, 2010, 01:38:01 PM
I'm down if I can telecommute to Maine?


I've missed ye around here, bud! The decreased volume of lulz is tangible.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 09, 2010, 05:14:39 PM
If you can convince all these other spags to come to Maine, I will return.

Otherwise, I'll have to find a different rationalization for whoring myself out to someplace I'm totally sick of for nothing more interesting than money.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Iason Ouabache on February 10, 2010, 01:44:38 AM
I would do it but I'm allergic to snow.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Freeky on February 10, 2010, 01:48:15 AM
I would do it but... I'ma scared of new things and places.  :sad:
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Cain on February 10, 2010, 10:08:16 AM
The only medical advice I am qualified to give:

Kids, don't get hit by nuclear missiles.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 10, 2010, 10:52:06 AM
Well, living in Maine is probably a good step in that direction, well, I suppose Southern Maine would be in for it if a missle hit Boston. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Cain on February 10, 2010, 11:03:50 AM
Nuclear missiles - just say no.

Oh man, I just realized using anti-drug slogans to protest nuclear missiles could be hilarious.  Given how certain nations are addicted to them, always looking to score more....they'd make great posters, and the incongruity of the message might make people actually take notice.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on February 10, 2010, 11:05:39 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

You prevent people being healthy?

Fuck Yeah! I'm down with that. WE WILL MARCH ON A ROAD OF CHOLESTEROL!
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Triple Zero on February 10, 2010, 11:40:56 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 10, 2010, 10:08:16 AM
The only medical advice I am qualified to give:

Kids, don't get hit by nuclear missiles.

Is there actually any real evidence that kids will get more access to nuclear missiles if we legalize them, though?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on February 10, 2010, 11:45:27 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 10, 2010, 11:40:56 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 10, 2010, 10:08:16 AM
The only medical advice I am qualified to give:

Kids, don't get hit by nuclear missiles.

Is there actually any real evidence that kids will get more access to nuclear missiles if we legalize them, though?

For a given definition of "access" being - going splodey several hundred feet above their heads
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on February 10, 2010, 03:00:58 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 09, 2010, 11:30:24 AM
I've finally figured out a way to resolve my firewall problems at work, that prevent me from conversing with you spags during business hours.

Here is my plan. 

You guys buy bus tickets, or plane tickets if it suits you.

You come to Maine.

You all apply to work at my agency (okay, well Ratatosk probably shouldn't apply ;) ). 

We become a team of awesome and win and I get to laugh more.

The End.

It's gotta work, right?


They're not into loyal opposition employees, eh?  :lulz:
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Pariah on February 10, 2010, 03:05:41 PM
Quote from: Cain on February 10, 2010, 11:03:50 AM
Nuclear missiles - just say no.

Oh man, I just realized using anti-drug slogans to protest nuclear missiles could be hilarious.  Given how certain nations are addicted to them, always looking to score more....they'd make great posters, and the incongruity of the message might make people actually take notice.


(http://barnsdale.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/egg.jpg)
This is your country 
(http://cooking.freelabs.info/Eggs/Pictures/EggPan.jpg)
This is your country with nukes


Any questions?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 10, 2010, 04:51:20 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 10, 2010, 01:48:15 AM
I would do it but... I'ma scared of new things and places.  :sad:

:lulz:

that's a shit condition to have for someone who lives in Tucson.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Freeky on February 10, 2010, 04:54:40 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 10, 2010, 04:51:20 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on February 10, 2010, 01:48:15 AM
I would do it but... I'ma scared of new things and places.  :sad:

:lulz:

that's a shit condition to have for someone who lives in Tucson.
:lulz: Tell me about it.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 11, 2010, 01:02:34 AM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 10, 2010, 11:05:39 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

You prevent people being healthy?

Fuck Yeah! I'm down with that. WE WILL MARCH ON A ROAD OF CHOLESTEROL!

:lulz:  I need to pay better attention when I type. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 11, 2010, 01:36:05 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 11, 2010, 01:02:34 AM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 10, 2010, 11:05:39 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

You prevent people being healthy?

Fuck Yeah! I'm down with that. WE WILL MARCH ON A ROAD OF CHOLESTEROL!

:lulz:  I need to pay better attention when I type. 

:lulz: That just made me laugh. I didn't see it the first time around.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Jasper on February 11, 2010, 03:41:40 AM
Quote from: Pariarrhea on February 10, 2010, 03:05:41 PM
Quote from: Cain on February 10, 2010, 11:03:50 AM
Nuclear missiles - just say no.

Oh man, I just realized using anti-drug slogans to protest nuclear missiles could be hilarious.  Given how certain nations are addicted to them, always looking to score more....they'd make great posters, and the incongruity of the message might make people actually take notice.


(http://barnsdale.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/egg.jpg)
This is your country 
(http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/lifehacker/2009/09/scorched_pot.jpg)
This is your country with nukes


Any questions?

Fixed.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on February 11, 2010, 03:56:16 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

An immediate fail.  Why bother?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Fuquad on February 11, 2010, 06:50:22 AM
Quote from: EarthBound SpIRiT on February 11, 2010, 03:56:16 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it.  

An immediate fail.  Why bother?
Because some people actually cares about the lives of others. Because he sees it as making a positive difference in someones life? Because it beats doing nothing?

 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 11, 2010, 10:47:21 AM
Quote from: EarthBound SpIRiT on February 11, 2010, 03:56:16 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

An immediate fail.  Why bother?
Actually, no.  I already have produced results in some of my past work.  My work has produced measurable results that proves I've prevented kids from using drugs or reduced the use of drugs.  My target is to reduce use by 15% and I'm aiming to reach it. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 01:13:37 PM
Quote from: EarthBound SpIRiT on February 11, 2010, 03:56:16 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

An immediate fail.  Why bother?

You know, 50-post suggestion and all, but still.... That was a real asshole thing to say.



Unless, of course, you enjoy seeing strung-out tweaker teenagers.  Which, come to think of it, makes you more of an asshole.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Triple Zero on February 11, 2010, 01:25:36 PM
Isn't EBS one of those peoples from TCC?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 01:29:28 PM
Oh.



Well, that makes complete sense, then.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Richter on February 11, 2010, 01:37:00 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

Pretty cool. 
Not sure I'd be a fit, I have no problem with people using substance.  I do have a problem with people usuing them to that they cease to behave like a person, and my own personal pitch / reason for avoiding them is "Smoking that crap will fuck you lungs, and you won't be able to run / spar / fence as long or well.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on February 11, 2010, 05:59:07 PM
Heh, what does your team do RWHN?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on February 12, 2010, 02:05:40 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on February 11, 2010, 01:25:36 PM
Isn't EBS one of those peoples from TCC?

Yes I am. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on February 12, 2010, 02:14:44 AM
Quote from: LMNO on February 11, 2010, 01:13:37 PM
Quote from: EarthBound SpIRiT on February 11, 2010, 03:56:16 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it.  

An immediate fail.  Why bother?

You know, 50-post suggestion and all, but still.... That was a real asshole thing to say.

It wasn't my intent to be an asshole, just realistic about most adults.  I didn't realize that teens were the target audience.  They need all the help they can get. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on February 12, 2010, 02:16:18 AM
Quote from: Horrendous Foreign Love Stoat on February 12, 2010, 02:07:16 AM
are you also GEBS from MW's?



Nope.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on February 12, 2010, 02:21:29 AM
What's TCC?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on February 12, 2010, 03:20:26 AM
The Celtic Connection.  I think there is a thread about us in Operation Mindfuck. 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 12, 2010, 03:26:01 AM
Quote from: EarthBound SpIRiT on February 11, 2010, 03:56:16 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 10, 2010, 01:05:07 AM
Quote from: Richter on February 09, 2010, 12:45:40 PM
Hey, I'll humor anything once.  What's the work doing?

This agency deals more with overall health prevention, so tobacco, nutrition, physical activity, and my bread and butter, substance abuse prevention.  My job is to implement programs and develop systems to reduce the prevalance of substance abuse here.  I've got 3 years to do it. 

An immediate fail.  Why bother?

Right.  Chuck the damn kids off a cliff, they whine less that way, right?
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on February 12, 2010, 03:54:56 AM
I already mentioned that I didn't realize teens were the target audience so no I wouldn't chunk them off a cliff.  Teens can be helped.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Dysnomia on February 12, 2010, 04:32:01 AM
This thread made me snicker uncontrollably...up until the last page anyways. 

RWHN, if you build a teleporter in your office, and one at my house I'll come visit you every day.   :D

Quote from: Annabel the Destroyer on February 12, 2010, 02:21:29 AM
What's TCC?

The Clown's Cunt
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 12, 2010, 10:59:20 AM
Quote from: Annabel the Destroyer on February 11, 2010, 05:59:07 PM
Heh, what does your team do RWHN?

We have one person who promotes worksite wellness.  So she goes to businesses and does presentations and talks to them about how to promote wellness amongst their employees.  We have another person who focuses on tobacco use.  There is yet another woman who does social marketing and programming around substance abuse prevention.  My particular role is tied to a federal grant the agency wrote and is specific to the twin-cities I live in and specific to the youth of these two cities.  

It is a weird set up really.  Because 100% of my time is supposed to be devoted to this grant.  And the project director of the grant isn't housed here at this agency, she is actually a part of the school district office.  So really, she is my boss in the grand scheme of things, yet, I'm housed with these other weirdos.  And then, on top of all that, I'm actually employed and paid by the hospital in this city.  It's a bunch of weird, twisted layers.  
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Dysnomia on February 12, 2010, 03:58:39 PM
Give hugs!  Not Drugs!


See, I'm a natural.   :D


We could even put out a commercial where some guys in a car, have a stick of dynamite in the back while ordering fast food.  Then the same guys drive up to the same window later with a block of C4 in the back.  They almost hit a little girl on a bike as they freak out and drive away.  In the final scene the same guys have a nuke in the back of their car.  As they peel-out of the drive-thru, they run over the poor little girl on the bike.

This is what happens when you do explosives.  Just say no.
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 12, 2010, 04:03:09 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 12, 2010, 03:58:39 PM


This is what happens when you do explosives.  Just say no.

:sad:
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Dysnomia on February 12, 2010, 09:13:04 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 12, 2010, 04:03:09 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on February 12, 2010, 03:58:39 PM


This is what happens when you do explosives.  Just say no.

:sad:

Sorry Dr.  That was fucked up.


SPS,
couldn't resist
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 13, 2010, 01:17:47 AM
Heh, so they ran a press release in the newspaper today announcing my arrival cpmplete with my ugly mug.  In the actual newspaper, everything was fine and dandy.  But, when you went to the online version, they had inadvertently posted a picture of this old Catholic Priest with the article instead of my picture.  So now everyone at the office is calling me Father WHN.  (well, they're using my real name of course). 

I talked to the newspaper and got them to fix it, and they confided to me that I should count myself lucky.  Because not too long ago they had inadvertently printed a picture of Snoop Dogg in some poor old lady's obituary. 

:lulz:
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: AFK on February 13, 2010, 11:57:28 AM
I printed a copy out. 

What is really funny, is what the url for the page ended up being.  The story was in the "noteworthy" section of the Sun Journal, so the end of the url for the article was  "notrwhn"  (substituting rwhn for my first initial, last name). 
Title: Re: Attention Everyone
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 13, 2010, 10:18:42 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 13, 2010, 01:17:47 AM
Heh, so they ran a press release in the newspaper today announcing my arrival cpmplete with my ugly mug.  In the actual newspaper, everything was fine and dandy.  But, when you went to the online version, they had inadvertently posted a picture of this old Catholic Priest with the article instead of my picture.  So now everyone at the office is calling me Father WHN.  (well, they're using my real name of course). 

I talked to the newspaper and got them to fix it, and they confided to me that I should count myself lucky.  Because not too long ago they had inadvertently printed a picture of Snoop Dogg in some poor old lady's obituary. 

:lulz:

Oh holy shit!  :lulz: