So I was sitting at a bar last night with EOT and, kind of out of the blue, the image of Cram on a streetcorner earnestly handing out Discordian pamphlets popped into my head. And it was funny. I laughed.
And then I was enlightened.
So what I would like to do here is follow through with Cram's (I think it was Cram's) idea of streetcorner Discordian evangelism... put together some little pamphlets, ones that can be printed on a single sheet of paper, then cut up, folded, and stapled... and start handing them out. I'll post them on SCRIBD as I get them done. Contributions to this project, whether in the form of ideas or pamphlets, are welcome.
awesome! I haven't actually done any street corner evangelism since I lived with the OBNOXIOUS JERK CABAL. Which is about three or four years ago at this point! It was prior to me being known as Cramulus...
here's some material:
http://23ae.com/2010/01/23-things-to-amuse-yourself-while-you-wait/
http://23ae.com/2009/12/mu-chaos-dada-sheets/
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=21920.0 - I'd really love to see some of these ideas made into pamphlets
Yay!
Liv and I had some buttons made with "We occur at random among your children" with the 23cent apple stamp, and "A conclusion is simply where you've stopped thinking." with the pentagon mandala, and one with a 'word cloud' from the PD. "POEE" is the largest term in the word cloud so we've memorized how to say "Para-Theo-Ana-Meta-Mystickhood of Eris Esoteric" with a straight face and have taken to handing out buttons.
Quote from: Telarus on February 16, 2010, 09:10:39 PM
Liv and I had some buttons made with "We occur at random among your children" with the 23cent apple stamp, and "A conclusion is simply where you've stopped thinking." with the pentagon mandala, and one with a 'word cloud' from the PD. "POEE" is the largest term in the word cloud so we've memorized how to say "Para-Theo-Ana-Meta-Mystickhood of Eris Esoteric" with a straight face and have taken to handing out buttons.
Oooh, that's lovely!
This is cool. I've been looking for some more Meat-Space activities.
Hey! Stop stealing my unannounced ideas! :argh!:
We've got a lot of street preachers around here and some friends and I are planning on launching a counter-evangelism campaign soon. I've got a little one page tract that I could send you. Do you want me to PM it to you or would you prefer to get the word doc in an email? The other half of the plan is creating a Discordian tele-evangelist character. I borrowed a webcam from a friend and I'm gonna debut the character on youtube soon (probably on the YouGASM profile). I've already got some ideas but if anyone has any suggestions I'd like to hear 'em.
Here's this again:
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/youjustgotcramd3.jpg)
Was about tp make a series of these with various spagfaces before I lost my damned mind and made a foolish asshole decision.
I thought it'd be great to have that sort of cryptic, ominous message leaving people to wonder:
"I just got...cram'd? What the hell does that mean?"
Even better if they were all business card sized, and I handed them out wearing a suit and a somber and/or professional expression.
Quote from: Alty on February 22, 2010, 02:43:27 AM
Here's this again:
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/youjustgotcramd3.jpg)
Was about tp make a series of these with various spagfaces before I lost my damned mind and made a foolish asshole decision.
I thought it'd be great to have that sort of cryptic, ominous message leaving people to wonder:
"I just got...cram'd? What the hell does that mean?"
Even better if they were all business card sized, and I handed them out wearing a suit and a somber and/or professional expression.
YES
VISTAPRINT, HERE I COME
Quote from: Alty on February 22, 2010, 02:43:27 AM
Here's this again:
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/youjustgotcramd3.jpg)
Was about tp make a series of these with various spagfaces before I lost my damned mind and made a foolish asshole decision.
I thought it'd be great to have that sort of cryptic, ominous message leaving people to wonder:
"I just got...cram'd? What the hell does that mean?"
Even better if they were all business card sized, and I handed them out wearing a suit and a somber and/or professional expression.
This would make a good image to turn ASCII and randomly print on people's computers too, I don't remember the link, but I remember someone posting a link that could randomly print stuff on people's computers.
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/youjustgotcramd4.jpg)
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/knowcramnopeace1.jpg)
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/wedontknoweither1.jpg)
Quote from: Alty on February 22, 2010, 09:00:59 PM
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/wedontknoweither1.jpg)
:lulz:
Should we put principiadiscordia.com on the backs of these?
Maybe something like "Read the Principia Discordia online FREE at principiadiscordia.com". Or maybe something that forces them to google it.
Like "Looking for questions? Try Discordianism."
"Discordia; we don't pretend to have answers."
"Hail Eris; All Hail Discordia."
My experience has been that when people are presented with a strange and mysterious card, they tend to carry it around and show it to their friends. Putting the URL on it might strip it of mystery and reduce that effect.
Anything that says "you just got Cram'd" will lead Googlers here. "We don't get it either" is my favorite one, though, and there's nothing on it that would lead a Googler here.
I like that, it'd bring in more curious types.
"Looking for questions? Try Discordianism."
This one, I think, would go best with that card.
ETA: I added the apple because I realized that nothing about the card directly led to discordianism without it.
I STILL have cards in my wallet that don't make any sense. "Husky or Maltese Whatever" is my favorite (turns out to be a restaurant on Powell. Really. (http://static1.px.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/0GGuv7wL1Mn5haiJAIF-oA/l)
http://www.yelp.com/biz/husky-or-maltese-whatever-portland check out those reviews!)
with my second favorite being just a white card with the name "Maurice." on it in red. It is the calling card of a friend of a friend.
"Maurice." Tiny red print, dead center. Brilliant.
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 12:31:34 AM
I like that, it'd bring in more curious types.
"Looking for questions? Try Discordianism."
This one, I think, would go best with that card.
ETA: I added the apple because I realized that nothing about the card directly led to discordianism without it.
Do you have that image in a larger size? I think I actually want to order some cards.
The image of EoC alone?
ETA: Eh, no that's the only one. I can whip another bigger one if you'd like. How big? With text?
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 12:50:29 AM
The image of EoC alone?
ETA: Eh, no that's the only one. I can whip another bigger one if you'd like. How big? With text?
Exactly like the one you made, Applek and everything, but about 1600 pixels tall? I can make it smaller, but making it bigger leads to fuzziness and pixellation. I can put my own text on the back of the card.
Okay 1600 tall. Width the same?
Hey these are cool!! I think anything that adds to the mystery. Even something that is common and has more reference to the Principia, like golden apple, or Hail Eris, Hail Discordia.
I don't think it'd be a good idea to link them directly to the Principia, only those who search get to find it through Ye Olde Google
Quote from: Alty on February 22, 2010, 08:47:57 PM
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/knowcramnopeace1.jpg)
I like :D
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on February 23, 2010, 01:34:41 AM
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 12:50:29 AM
The image of EoC alone?
ETA: Eh, no that's the only one. I can whip another bigger one if you'd like. How big? With text?
Exactly like the one you made, Applek and everything, but about 1600 pixels tall? I can make it smaller, but making it bigger leads to fuzziness and pixellation. I can put my own text on the back of the card.
Eh..I'm winging it with teh photoshop. Inches would be preferable. Or very specific pixel parameters.
Never mind I think I can get it.
Quote from: NotPublished on February 23, 2010, 01:44:19 AM
Hey these are cool!! I think anything that adds to the mystery. Even something that is common and has more reference to the Principia, like golden apple, or Hail Eris, Hail Discordia.
I don't think it'd be a good idea to link them directly to the Principia, only those who search get to find it through Ye Olde Google
Quote from: Alty on February 22, 2010, 08:47:57 PM
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/knowcramnopeace1.jpg)
I like :D
:)
Okay, here's a larger version, double standard business card size.
I'll just do these at this size from now on.
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/wedontgetiteither2.jpg)
I wanna add, I laughed my ASS OFF making this one.
The proportions are off from the original, but I'm terrible at details like that.
CAN'T BE BOTHERED.
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 01:38:10 AM
Okay 1600 tall. Width the same?
OK, Vistaprint is a real bugger about hiding this info! They specify 3.54" x 2.05", or 1062 x 615 pixels. It can be larger as long as the proportions remain the same.
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 01:54:52 AM
Okay, here's a larger version, double standard business card size.
I'll just do these at this size from now on.
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/wedontgetiteither2.jpg)
I wanna add, I laughed my ASS OFF making this one.
The proportions are off from the original, but I'm terrible at details like that.
CAN'T BE BOTHERED.
LOVE!
Small problem. The image is still too small for printing; it needs to be at least 300 dpi to print clearly at business-card size. I hate to be a bother, but I really love this image and I'll totally send you some cards when they get here, if you can make it even bigger. :) Oh, and with a little more space above the text so it doesn't get cropped off?
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Wtf IS that image??
:argh!:
:lol:
Not a problem. I learn more shooping this way.
Eh, this'll take me a bit. Might not get done until tomorrow.
Oh yeah. That's beyond me. dots per inch is the same as pixels per inch, then the original unmodified image is not large enough to fit.
If anyone knows how to work around this, please do let me know.
ETA: Maybe if I create the image at that size and then crop the excess. Will try that later.
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 02:13:12 AM
Oh yeah. That's beyond me. dots per inch is the same as pixels per inch, then the original unmodified image is not large enough to fit.
If anyone knows how to work around this, please do let me know.
ETA: Maybe if I create the image at that size and then crop the excess. Will try that later.
I know how to work around this.
All you have to do is drop it into Illustrator, live trace it, and fiddle with the settings until it looks how you want it to look. Then open a new Illustrator document with the correct porportions, drag your live traced image into it, resize it and reset your text. Then convert your text to outlines, save it as a PDF and your printer and everyone enjoying your cards will be happy as a clam.
If you don't have Illustrator, either I could do it for you real quick, or I could offer some suggestions about how to do it in Photoshop (It could take quite a few words so I won't do it here). The best way to do it for crisp edges is in Illustrator, because the file can default to the highest resolution the printer is capable of very easily, and also because it's quicker. In Photoshop, you're stuck with the resolution it originated at, unless you're scaling down, so you have to manually redraw the image with the pen tool for clean lines. Other shortcuts might work, depending on what your dealing with.
Also, in a printing context, dots per inch refers to printing resolution and is not equivalent to pixels per inch, which is a measure of screen resolution. To make things even more confusing, lines per inch (in a printing context) refers to a halftone screen which is different than both dpi and ppi.
Feel free to PM so this thread doesn't get bogged down in boring, technical bullshit.
(edited for clarity)
just passing along - i was always kinda, "business cards are a cool idea, but fuck a bunch of spending money" - but, for some reason, today, this very thread prompted me to look up how much it would cost and found they are cheap.
THIS WEBSITE WILL PRINT 500 CARDS FOR $9.99 - HOLY FUCK THAT'S WAY CHEAPER THAN I THOUGHT BUSINESS CARDS WOULD BE!!! (http://www.businesscardsfast.com/)
anyhow, just passing that on in case there are others out there that just assumed printing cards was prohibitively expensive.
You can also get these:
http://www.amazon.com/Avery-Linen-Textured-Two-Side-Business-08873/dp/B00009KIYH/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=office-products&qid=1266948238&sr=8-2
and print them at home.
I also saw a 250 pack for $10 on Sam's Club's website.
They might not look professional grade, but...
Meanwhile, I'll try that workaround, thanks net!
Quote from: Alty on February 23, 2010, 01:54:52 AM
Okay, here's a larger version, double standard business card size.
I'll just do these at this size from now on.
(http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab46/Altyvision/wedontgetiteither2.jpg)
I wanna add, I laughed my ASS OFF making this one.
The proportions are off from the original, but I'm terrible at details like that.
CAN'T BE BOTHERED.
You horrible bastards!
Quote from: NotPublished on February 23, 2010, 02:02:31 AM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Wtf IS that image??
That's a WOMP that FP did of me over some bizarre costume pic he found from the 4chan google wave.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Its fking good and looks real, one of those pics that gives you a chance to use your imagination
I 2nd the Illustrator suggestion for massive scale-up. Screen rez is 72dpi (basically), and most printers range above 1,000dpi now-a-days.
I've got Illustrator and will take a whack at it as soon as I am able.
ITT yatto remembers he said he would make a 'hello stranger, im a pope" card
I know that this is about 2 and a half months later than the original post, but I've made fake tracts with Jesus on the front to make it look like a Christian tract, but with weird stuff inside. The gist of it was a take on WWJD, but saying that Jesus would have you think for yourself and not let a piece of paper do it for you, including this piece of paper. I included random quotes that had nothing to do with anything as well as a fun facts section, and in the end where they usually ask you to check off whether or not you've accepted Jesus, I put several options, some of which said something like, "Yes I will think for myself and not listen to a stupid tract" "This tract is stupid, therefore I will not think for myself" "Wait, what? Which one of the two above do I pick" and the last one was, "Ah, yes, yes, fnord, hail Eris and all that rot" I would leave them on the MBTA, and I gave some to my drummer, who, while not a Discordian, likes the idea of handing out fake tracts. Based on a recent facebook thread, he's encouraged me to do a new one that remixes Bible verses so that they include references to the MBTA, which I intend to do. Sadly, the original WWJD one is on my old computer which has decided to go into eternal slumber.
That said, I'm onboard. THis sort of thing is my style. I've been wanting to jump onto (and eventually pitch my own) GASMs, part of the reason I signed up here.
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on February 16, 2010, 07:31:30 PM
So I was sitting at a bar last night with EOT and, kind of out of the blue, the image of Cram on a streetcorner earnestly handing out Discordian pamphlets popped into my head. And it was funny. I laughed.
And then I was enlightened.
So what I would like to do here is follow through with Cram's (I think it was Cram's) idea of streetcorner Discordian evangelism... put together some little pamphlets, ones that can be printed on a single sheet of paper, then cut up, folded, and stapled... and start handing them out. I'll post them on SCRIBD as I get them done. Contributions to this project, whether in the form of ideas or pamphlets, are welcome.
YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!
EvanJELLOism:
You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.
Quote from: Nast on April 28, 2010, 07:10:32 AM
YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!
EvanJELLOism:
You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.
I like it, but, I would be reluctant to eat Jello that had paper in it, even if it looked interesting. Plus, you would have to serve it to someone.
Quote from: Nast on April 28, 2010, 07:10:32 AM
YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!
EvanJELLOism:
You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.
Maybe what you could do is sneak it onto a help yourself table at a large party descretely. I did that sort of thing with EggGASM. Pretty good results.
Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 28, 2010, 08:40:14 AM
Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?
Like I said, it's on my old computer. I can try and access it (the main problem is that the keyboard doesn't work, but I can try the mouse, transfer to a thumb drive and put it on my new computer). Other than that, I think that I have one left, so I'll probably need some time to track it down one way or the other, and see if I can scan it. If you want the MBTA pseudo Bible quote thread that I'm gonna run off of, wait a minute, I'll post it here.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 28, 2010, 08:40:14 AM
Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?
Ok, here's the thread (obviously, my name is Kevin but has been otherwise sanitized), feel free to edit to reflect your own city's public transport, and when I find my older stuff, I will post it in this thread, hopefully in the next week or two.
Thread:
Caitlin God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and god hath chosen the weak of things of the world to confound the things which are mighty
April 19 at 10:57am via Text Message • Comment •LikeUnlike • View Feedback (16)Hide Feedback (16)
Kevin
Must have been some service last night. Have you found Jesus then? And if so where was he? My guess was waiting for the T. ooh, bad bad bad
April 19 at 11:01am •
Caitlin
Lol. Oh god here we go
April 19 at 11:04am
Kevin
At least he was waiting for an upper-case T this time around, yuk yuk yuk
April 19 at 11:04am •
Kevin
INRI on the MBTA, lol
"Blessed are those who wait for the bus in patience, for they shall inherit the free express bus." -Sermon at the bus stop
"Woe to you oh earth and sea, for the devil sends the bus with wrath, because he knows the wait is long. Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the bus, for it is a human number. It's number is 666." -St. John's Busocalypse
April 19 at 11:13am •
Kevin
"And the route was without form and void, and delays were on the face of the stop... and the LORD said, 'let there be bus!' and there was public transportation, and he saw that it was slow"-Book of Busenesis
"There was grumbling at the bus stop. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon fought, and his angels... and prevailed not. Neither anymore was their place found on the bus. And the great dragon was kicked off the bus. That old serpent called the Devil and Satan which delayeth the whole transit authority, he was kicked off of the bus and his angels were kicked off with him." –St. John's Busocalypse
April 19 at 11:19am •
Kevin
"I am the bus driver, your god, who brought you out of Roxbury. Thou shalt have no transportation before me." -Book of Exobus
April 19 at 11:20am •
Kevin
"Jesus waited" -shortest verse in the Busible
April 19 at 11:23am
Caitlin
Kevin your a tweak
April 19 at 11:23am
Kevin
"My bus, my bus, why have you abandoned me?" -Jesus at the T
April 19 at 11:24am •
Peter
LMFAO!!!!!!Kevin you are amazing!!
April 19 at 11:36am
Kevin
"Let him who hath not ridden cast the first Charlie Ticket!"
April 19 at 11:47am •
Peter
i think you need to start a new religion, and make up another panphlet to leave on busses around town
April 19 at 11:49am
Kevin
YESSSSSSS!!!!
April 19 at 11:49am •
Peter
when you do give me a bunch and i'll leave them around to be found
April 19 at 11:50am
Caitlin
We can hand them out like the jesus guys
April 19 at 11:50am
Peter
we can trade with them lol
April 19 at 11:52a