Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 01:43:46 PM

Title: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 01:43:46 PM
What the fuck?

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/03/02/chile.quake/?hpt=Sbin

"Chile quake may have tipped Earth's axis"

What the fuck?

"MAY HAVE TIPPED EARTH'S AXIS."

WHAT THE FUCK?

Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Richter on March 02, 2010, 01:48:12 PM
Relevance or impact to everyday life = NONE
Relevance beyond the "Science / Tech" section = NONE

Critical line bound to be ignored by most readers:

Quote
The change is negligible, but permanent: Each day should be 1.26 microseconds shorter, according to preliminary calculations. A microsecond is one-millionth of a second.

Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 01:50:20 PM
That's not very "mad-sciencey" of you.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on March 02, 2010, 01:59:26 PM
the one that caused the giant tsunami did that too
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Richter on March 02, 2010, 01:59:58 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 01:50:20 PM
That's not very "mad-sciencey" of you.

Sure it is.  I'm quite mad about scaremongering uses of science to sell more "news"
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 02:04:28 PM
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not satisfied until we reach Space 1999 (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Space1999) capabilities.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Doktor Howl on March 02, 2010, 02:10:33 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 02, 2010, 01:48:12 PM
Relevance or impact to everyday life = NONE
Relevance beyond the "Science / Tech" section = NONE

Critical line bound to be ignored by most readers:

Quote
The change is negligible, but permanent: Each day should be 1.26 microseconds shorter, according to preliminary calculations. A microsecond is one-millionth of a second.



Give me time.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Doktor Howl on March 02, 2010, 02:10:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 02:04:28 PM
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not satisfied until we reach Space 1999 (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Space1999) capabilities.

Bad acting?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Elder Iptuous on March 02, 2010, 02:12:42 PM
They use the analogy of the ice skater spinning to illustrate how distribution of mass will affect the rotation speed.  By this analogy, the quake must have caused the mass distribution of the planet to move slightly in towards the axis of rotation?
Hmm...
I would think there would also be an uneven redistribution of mass causing a change in the rotational wobble.  I would have guessed that a change in wobble would have as much or more effects than change in speed...
Also, I plan on working 1.2 microseconds less, because I sure as hell ain't going to give it up on the sleep end of the schedule! :argh!:
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 02:16:55 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 02, 2010, 02:10:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 02:04:28 PM
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not satisfied until we reach Space 1999 (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Space1999) capabilities.

Bad acting?

'Twas Martin Landau's finest work.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 02, 2010, 06:01:12 PM
From a science geek perspective, it's pretty neat to think about though.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Dimocritus on March 02, 2010, 07:55:06 PM
I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!!  :argh!:

(It adds up, y'know...)
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Doktor Howl on March 02, 2010, 08:14:54 PM
Quote from: dimo on March 02, 2010, 07:55:06 PM
I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!!  :argh!:

(It adds up, y'know...)

THIS.

IT NEEDS TO BE POSTED AT SCIENCE MAGAZINE'S SITE.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Dr. Paes on March 02, 2010, 08:40:58 PM
I DIDN'T READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE BECAUSE I'M NO GOOD AT SCIENCE. OR READING.
ARE WE GOING TO CRASH INTO THE SUN?
           /
:mullet:
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 02, 2010, 08:41:38 PM
YES.



WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on March 02, 2010, 08:42:29 PM
my oceanography teacher informed us that the earths axis shifted THREE WHOLE INCHES. OMG ETC
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Elder Iptuous on March 02, 2010, 08:43:56 PM
GPS ROONT!
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Bu🤠ns on March 02, 2010, 09:58:37 PM
:lulz:
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Triple Zero on March 02, 2010, 10:03:07 PM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on March 02, 2010, 08:42:29 PM
my oceanography teacher informed us that the earths axis shifted THREE WHOLE INCHES. OMG ETC

so if the earth got a new axis, is the place where the old axis was then called the ex-axis?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on March 02, 2010, 10:05:22 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on March 02, 2010, 10:03:07 PM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on March 02, 2010, 08:42:29 PM
my oceanography teacher informed us that the earths axis shifted THREE WHOLE INCHES. OMG ETC

so if the earth got a new axis, is the place where the old axis was then called the ex-axis?
:asplode:
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:30:17 PM
Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Elder Iptuous on March 02, 2010, 10:42:48 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:30:17 PM
Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

y'know, i was thinking the exact same thing!

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

that would make them froth...
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Dr. Paes on March 02, 2010, 10:43:51 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on March 02, 2010, 10:42:48 PM
i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.
This.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:45:53 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on March 02, 2010, 10:42:48 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:30:17 PM
Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

y'know, i was thinking the exact same thing!

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

that would make them froth...

This sounds fun. Something along the lines of "The HRC can make mini blackholes and that doing so might be necessary to re-stabilize the planet"?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 02, 2010, 11:12:10 PM
Quote from: DIMOVOLCANO on March 02, 2010, 07:55:06 PM
I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!!  :argh!:

(It adds up, y'know...)

It's 1.26 microseconds per DAY, which is almost one second every other year. That might not sound like much, but that's nearly a minute every 120 years. That means in 7200 years, our clocks will be off by almost an HOUR, and in 172,800 years our calendars will be off by a whole day!

HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Dr. Paes on March 02, 2010, 11:27:38 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:45:53 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on March 02, 2010, 10:42:48 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:30:17 PM
Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

y'know, i was thinking the exact same thing!

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

that would make them froth...

This sounds fun. Something along the lines of "The HRC can make mini blackholes and that doing so might be necessary to re-stabilize the planet"?
The recent seismic activity in Chile may have had catastrophic effects beyond the lost lives and property damage, scientists at NASA are reporting today.

A large quake shifts massive amounts of rock and alters the distribution of mass of the planet.
When that distribution changes, it changes the rate at which the planet rotates and the axis it rotates on.

Changes such as this are common with any seismic activity and usually, though permanent, they are not in any way dangerous. The earthquake in Chile, however, has caused the earth to enter a dangerous state known as "geotectonic instability." During phases such as this, the earth's sensitivity to seismic events increases and it is possible for the orbit of the planet to be compromised. A number of solutions exist, but NASA said today that it may already be to late to use such measures as 'induced seismic wave therapy' or crashing large rock masses into the planet to correct this issue.

One possibility remains. The Large Hadron collider.
It has been suggested that the LHC has the potential to wield the vast amounts of quantum energy required to restabilise the planet.

HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSEUDO QUANTUM PHYSICS. If you are not hot for science, best just to skip it.

By reversing the polarity of the LHC and redirecting the matter-propulsion-engines, scientists theorise that they can create a 'quantum-density zone' on the surface of the planet. Scientists use the analogy of a skater. When he pulls in his arms, he spins faster.
That's because pulling in his arms changes the distribution of the skater's mass and therefore the speed of his rotation.
Creating a QDZ in the right location would be the equivalent of tying a rock to the skater's arms to alter his spin... and it may be just the thing we need to correct our figure axis (the one around which Earth's mass is balanced).

While this works on paper, skeptics say that the proposed solution could in fact throw us entirely out of orbit and send the earth drifting off into space.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Xooxe on March 02, 2010, 11:41:04 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 02, 2010, 01:48:12 PM
Relevance or impact to everyday life = NONE
Relevance beyond the "Science / Tech" section = NONE

Critical line bound to be ignored by most readers:

Quote
The change is negligible, but permanent: Each day should be 1.26 microseconds shorter, according to preliminary calculations. A microsecond is one-millionth of a second.

I think it has some relevance to everyday life, if only to remind you that the really big things that you regard as static realities aren't necessarily permanent.

Quote from: Fredamir Putin on March 02, 2010, 08:42:29 PM
my oceanography teacher

Awesome. I didn't know you studied that. Just last night I was reading about hydrophones, and also listening to the "Slow Down" audio from the Pacific. I then spent like 3 hours looking at ocean maps before I realised that it was very late.

Am I right in remembering that you hate the ocean? Does this freak you out as much as me? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68mWBVOJ8yA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68mWBVOJ8yA)  I could feel my nerves tearing away from my flesh like a startled snail.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Jasper on March 03, 2010, 12:54:31 AM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 02, 2010, 11:12:10 PM
Quote from: DIMOVOLCANO on March 02, 2010, 07:55:06 PM
I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!!  :argh!:

(It adds up, y'know...)

It's 1.26 microseconds per DAY, which is almost one second every other year. That might not sound like much, but that's nearly a minute every 120 years. That means in 7200 years, our clocks will be off by almost an HOUR, and in 172,800 years our calendars will be off by a whole day!

HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW?

We'll have to pause recorded time for a second or so at the end of this year.  Nobody will even notice it missing.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 03, 2010, 12:57:08 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 03, 2010, 12:54:31 AM
We'll have to pause recorded time for a second or so at the end of this year.  Nobody will even notice it missing.

Can we use this second to commit some kind of crime that, due to there being no record of it, we technically can't be charged for?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Jasper on March 03, 2010, 01:01:32 AM
I'm sure of it. 
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Jenne on March 03, 2010, 01:05:51 AM
This is mindcandy for the science geeks.  The two that live here with me were in total awe over it.  And then a minor discussion over the citations of the Chilean quake being 385 times the size or 500 times the size of the Haiti quake ensued.

But seeing as how my son wants to go to MIT...I guess this is a good thing to geek out about.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Rumckle on March 03, 2010, 02:01:03 AM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 02, 2010, 11:12:10 PM
Quote from: DIMOVOLCANO on March 02, 2010, 07:55:06 PM
I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!!  :argh!:

(It adds up, y'know...)

It's 1.26 microseconds per DAY, which is almost one second every other year. That might not sound like much, but that's nearly a minute every 120 years. That means in 7200 years, our clocks will be off by almost an HOUR, and in 172,800 years our calendars will be off by a whole day!

HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW?

I think your math might be a bit off there.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Requia ☣ on March 03, 2010, 02:31:50 AM
Quote from: Jenne on March 03, 2010, 01:05:51 AM
This is mindcandy for the science geeks.  The two that live here with me were in total awe over it.  And then a minor discussion over the citations of the Chilean quake being 385 times the size or 500 times the size of the Haiti quake ensued.

But seeing as how my son wants to go to MIT...I guess this is a good thing to geek out about.

I wish i could remember my rotational physics enough to figure out just how much energy was taken out of the rotation.

It's 500 times the energy of the Haiti quake though.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: -Kel- on March 03, 2010, 06:14:35 AM
STRAP ON THE HELMETS!!!
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Triple Zero on March 03, 2010, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: EoC on March 03, 2010, 12:57:08 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 03, 2010, 12:54:31 AM
We'll have to pause recorded time for a second or so at the end of this year.  Nobody will even notice it missing.

Can we use this second to commit some kind of crime that, due to there being no record of it, we technically can't be charged for?

you could also use that time to propose to your girlfriend and claim "time stood still" and then it'd be all romantic and stuff
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Dr. Paes on March 03, 2010, 10:05:11 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on March 03, 2010, 09:53:48 AM
Quote from: EoC on March 03, 2010, 12:57:08 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 03, 2010, 12:54:31 AM
We'll have to pause recorded time for a second or so at the end of this year.  Nobody will even notice it missing.

Can we use this second to commit some kind of crime that, due to there being no record of it, we technically can't be charged for?

you could also use that time to propose to your girlfriend and claim "time stood still" and then it'd be all romantic and stuff
I Awwwwwww'd.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Triple Zero on March 03, 2010, 11:13:58 AM
QUICK, TIME HAS STOPPED--MARRY ME! :D
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: AFK on March 03, 2010, 12:08:39 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on March 02, 2010, 10:30:17 PM
Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

Well, they were in the process of firing that bad boy back up for new experiments when the quake happened. 
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 03, 2010, 02:21:08 PM
Also, Cf: Venezuela claiming the US has a Weapon of Earthquakes ("W.O.E").


AWS, assemble!
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: St. Everblaze the Badikal on March 03, 2010, 03:50:20 PM
I'm taking personal credit for this one.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 03, 2010, 03:54:15 PM
I BLAME THE BEARD.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Doktor Howl on March 03, 2010, 03:55:05 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 03, 2010, 03:54:15 PM
I BLAME THE BEARD.

Fidel Castro?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: LMNO on March 03, 2010, 03:56:07 PM
BEARDO.

WOULD MR. MONOPOLY THROW OFF THE EARTH'S AXIS?


OF COURSE NOT.


NEVER TRUST A BEARDO.


I'M LOOKING AT YOU, RICHTER.
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Doktor Howl on March 03, 2010, 03:57:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO on March 03, 2010, 03:56:07 PM
BEARDO.

WOULD MR. MONOPOLY THROW OFF THE EARTH'S AXIS?


OF COURSE NOT.


NEVER TRUST A BEARDO.


I'M LOOKING AT YOU, RICHTER.

Yeah, wait a minute.

Where WAS Richter during the earthquake?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: East Coast Hustle on March 03, 2010, 06:51:50 PM
Duh. Why do you think they named it the "Richter Scale"?
Title: Re: WHAT THE FUCK?
Post by: Doktor Howl on March 03, 2010, 06:57:06 PM
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on March 03, 2010, 06:51:50 PM
Duh. Why do you think they named it the "Richter Scale"?

HAH!  The clever bastard was flaunting it all along!

WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN SAN FRANCISCO IN 1906, RICHTER, YOU SWINE!