WHAT THE FUCK?

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

my oceanography teacher informed us that the earths axis shifted THREE WHOLE INCHES. OMG ETC

[Elder Iptuous]

GPS ROONT!

[Bu🤠ns]

[Triple Zero]

my oceanography teacher informed us that the earths axis shifted THREE WHOLE INCHES. OMG ETC

so if the earth got a new axis, is the place where the old axis was then called the ex-axis?

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

my oceanography teacher informed us that the earths axis shifted THREE WHOLE INCHES. OMG ETC

so if the earth got a new axis, is the place where the old axis was then called the ex-axis?

[Mangrove]

Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

[Elder Iptuous]

Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

y'know, i was thinking the exact same thing!

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

that would make them froth...

[Dr. Paes]

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

This.

[Mangrove]

Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

y'know, i was thinking the exact same thing!

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

that would make them froth...

This sounds fun. Something along the lines of "The HRC can make mini blackholes and that doing so might be necessary to re-stabilize the planet"?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!! 

(It adds up, y'know...)

It's 1.26 microseconds per DAY, which is almost one second every other year. That might not sound like much, but that's nearly a minute every 120 years. That means in 7200 years, our clocks will be off by almost an HOUR, and in 172,800 years our calendars will be off by a whole day!

HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW?

[Dr. Paes]

Any chance we can link these events to the Large Hadron collider?

I'm sure this is the sort of thing that fundies like to worry about.

y'know, i was thinking the exact same thing!

i say we start a rumor that The Scientists are concerned about the effect this will have on the planet, and that the only chance we have is to use a little known capability of the LHC to alter the mass distribution of the planet to offset the quakes effect.

that would make them froth...

This sounds fun. Something along the lines of "The HRC can make mini blackholes and that doing so might be necessary to re-stabilize the planet"?

The recent seismic activity in Chile may have had catastrophic effects beyond the lost lives and property damage, scientists at NASA are reporting today.

A large quake shifts massive amounts of rock and alters the distribution of mass of the planet.
When that distribution changes, it changes the rate at which the planet rotates and the axis it rotates on.

Changes such as this are common with any seismic activity and usually, though permanent, they are not in any way dangerous. The earthquake in Chile, however, has caused the earth to enter a dangerous state known as "geotectonic instability." During phases such as this, the earth's sensitivity to seismic events increases and it is possible for the orbit of the planet to be compromised. A number of solutions exist, but NASA said today that it may already be to late to use such measures as 'induced seismic wave therapy' or crashing large rock masses into the planet to correct this issue.

One possibility remains. The Large Hadron collider.
It has been suggested that the LHC has the potential to wield the vast amounts of quantum energy required to restabilise the planet.

HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSEUDO QUANTUM PHYSICS. If you are not hot for science, best just to skip it.

By reversing the polarity of the LHC and redirecting the matter-propulsion-engines, scientists theorise that they can create a 'quantum-density zone' on the surface of the planet. Scientists use the analogy of a skater. When he pulls in his arms, he spins faster.
That's because pulling in his arms changes the distribution of the skater's mass and therefore the speed of his rotation.
Creating a QDZ in the right location would be the equivalent of tying a rock to the skater's arms to alter his spin... and it may be just the thing we need to correct our figure axis (the one around which Earth's mass is balanced).

While this works on paper, skeptics say that the proposed solution could in fact throw us entirely out of orbit and send the earth drifting off into space.

[Xooxe]

Relevance or impact to everyday life = NONE
Relevance beyond the "Science / Tech" section = NONE

Critical line bound to be ignored by most readers:

The change is negligible, but permanent: Each day should be 1.26 microseconds shorter, according to preliminary calculations. A microsecond is one-millionth of a second.

I think it has some relevance to everyday life, if only to remind you that the really big things that you regard as static realities aren't necessarily permanent.

my oceanography teacher

Awesome. I didn't know you studied that. Just last night I was reading about hydrophones, and also listening to the "Slow Down" audio from the Pacific. I then spent like 3 hours looking at ocean maps before I realised that it was very late.

Am I right in remembering that you hate the ocean? Does this freak you out as much as me? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68mWBVOJ8yA  I could feel my nerves tearing away from my flesh like a startled snail.

[Jasper]

I've had enough taken from me!

GIVE ME BACK MY 1.26 MICROSECONDS PER YEAR!!!!! 

(It adds up, y'know...)

It's 1.26 microseconds per DAY, which is almost one second every other year. That might not sound like much, but that's nearly a minute every 120 years. That means in 7200 years, our clocks will be off by almost an HOUR, and in 172,800 years our calendars will be off by a whole day!

HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW?

We'll have to pause recorded time for a second or so at the end of this year.  Nobody will even notice it missing.

[Eater of Clowns]

We'll have to pause recorded time for a second or so at the end of this year.  Nobody will even notice it missing.

Can we use this second to commit some kind of crime that, due to there being no record of it, we technically can't be charged for?

[Jasper]

I'm sure of it.