Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 12:52:56 AM

Title: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 12:52:56 AM
I have recently discovered a means to cheaply mass produce very convincing fake cum. 

Any ideas on what to do with it as far as jakes/etc?
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Reginald Ret on March 19, 2010, 01:02:01 AM
i don't believe it.
how's the smell?
nvm, just gimme the recipe and i'll SCIENCE for myself.

oooo new acronym:  SFY,S

if it works:
go out in public with a drop on your upper lip.
pretend to cough and spit a mouthful into a glass.
public restroom walls. EVERYTHING!
copcars, or just cars in general, a trail going down from the fuel intake thingy would be awesome.
lick some off your fingers everytime you leave the toilet.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 01:04:51 AM
It doesn't really have a smell, but the look is perfect.  Any ideas how I could get the scent?

PMing you the recipe.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Reginald Ret on March 19, 2010, 01:09:14 AM
not me :(
but i'll ask around, i  think some of my friends might know such things.

and thanks for the recipe :)
Is there a reason you are not telling it to the entire forum?
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on March 19, 2010, 01:10:32 AM
THROW IT AT THE THAI GOVT!@
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:14:05 AM
Leave a TIME magazine in a public restroom stall, the one with Obama on the cover, covered in it.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 01:14:18 AM
Quote from: Regret on March 19, 2010, 01:09:14 AM
not me :(
but i'll ask around, i  think some of my friends might know such things.

and thanks for the recipe :)
Is there a reason you are not telling it to the entire forum?

Yeah.  It's also useful for something else, but I'm going to try to use that to actually make money.  The recipe is still in progress though, very early stages.  Probably will change a lot, but a bit of secrecy never hurt anyone.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 01:14:44 AM
Quote from: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:14:05 AM
Leave a TIME magazine in a public restroom stall, the one with Obama on the cover, covered in it.

:lulz:  Oh SHIT.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:16:18 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 19, 2010, 01:14:44 AM
Quote from: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:14:05 AM
Leave a TIME magazine in a public restroom stall, the one with Obama on the cover, covered in it.

:lulz:  Oh SHIT.

Not that anyone would have to fake it.  :oops:
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 01:19:18 AM
The beauty of this is that I could make several gallons of it, put it in squeeze bottles, and go to town. 
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:43:25 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 19, 2010, 01:14:18 AM
Quote from: Regret on March 19, 2010, 01:09:14 AM
not me :(
but i'll ask around, i  think some of my friends might know such things.

and thanks for the recipe :)
Is there a reason you are not telling it to the entire forum?

Yeah.  It's also useful for something else, but I'm going to try to use that to actually make money.  The recipe is still in progress though, very early stages.  Probably will change a lot, but a bit of secrecy never hurt anyone.

Is it also a delicious condiment?

Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to caulk one's bathroom with it?
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 01:44:35 AM
I haven't tried eating it yet, but it's pretty non-toxic.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:45:11 AM
It may also be of note to mention that the flower in my avatar, the Bradford pear, is reputed to reek of semen.
If only there was a way to capture its essence...
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 01:48:38 AM
A decoction, perhaps.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:50:38 AM
But that would involve so much vigorous maceration!
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 19, 2010, 02:00:35 AM
I can always find someone to do that for me.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on March 20, 2010, 12:34:57 PM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on March 19, 2010, 01:10:32 AM
THROW IT AT THE THAI GOVT!@

:lulz:
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on March 20, 2010, 12:55:17 PM
^this^
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Lies on March 20, 2010, 01:02:57 PM
Quote from: Nast on March 19, 2010, 01:14:05 AM
Leave a TIME magazine in a public restroom stall, the one with Obama on the cover, covered in it.

It's been done on TV.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCBhuEiEYsY

If you don't wanna watch it all, though you should, just skip to 6:30 for what you speak of.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: East Coast Hustle on March 20, 2010, 04:29:45 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 19, 2010, 12:52:56 AM
I have recently discovered a means to cheaply mass produce very convincing fake cum. 

Any ideas on what to do with it as far as jakes/etc?

Yes, and it involves bicycle seats and the hot wing bar at the Hawthorne Fred Meyer's. Perhaps we should join forces again soon.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Triple Zero on March 20, 2010, 05:19:00 PM
Also, from rooftops.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: NWC on March 21, 2010, 12:47:57 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 19, 2010, 01:04:51 AM
It doesn't really have a smell, but the look is perfect.  Any ideas how I could get the scent?

PMing you the recipe.

I worked in a heath food store once, and one of the things we sold smelled exactly like semen. It was some sort of bran or something. Either was it was really cheap. Only problem is that it has a tan-ish color.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: East Coast Hustle on March 21, 2010, 05:16:51 PM
2 day old fish batter smells alot like semen.

Or at least I hope it does. I work in a bear bar so there's always the chance that things smell like semen because they are, in fact, covered in semen.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 23, 2010, 04:07:15 AM
A bit of old fish batter.  That might actually help the look, too.

:lulz::hi5::vom:


Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Faust on March 28, 2010, 07:24:26 PM
great thread, lots of thrills, would read again.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 28, 2010, 08:33:27 PM
Quote from: Faust on March 28, 2010, 07:24:26 PM
great thread, lots of thrills, would read again.

?
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Faust on March 29, 2010, 12:47:32 AM
Quote from: Nast on March 28, 2010, 08:33:27 PM
Quote from: Faust on March 28, 2010, 07:24:26 PM
great thread, lots of thrills, would read again.

?

Nothing.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: AFK on March 29, 2010, 03:02:46 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 19, 2010, 12:52:56 AM
I have recently discovered a means to cheaply mass produce very convincing fake cum. 

Any ideas on what to do with it as far as jakes/etc?

You gave Ron Jeremy a Vasectomy?
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 29, 2010, 05:59:15 AM
Yes, I went after a fat porn star with a scalpel in hopes of obtaining an endless supply of jizz.

I do this sort of thing all the time.

OK, I might as well post the recipe.  Maybe someone will try it and improve on it in the interest of better fake jizz.

Cook a 1:20 ratio of guar gum powder and water.  Store in a jar.  That simple.

Now try it.  It's fun!
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Richter on March 29, 2010, 03:43:11 PM
Bone dust maybe?  As long as it's ground slow, so it doesn't burn, it has enough of a biological smell to make you wonder.  It'd also add a bit of grainy cloudiness.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Nast on March 29, 2010, 07:24:14 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 29, 2010, 03:43:11 PM
Bone dust maybe?  As long as it's ground slow, so it doesn't burn, it has enough of a biological smell to make you wonder.  It'd also add a bit of grainy cloudiness.

So...rob a grave, grind the remains, and make fake semen out of it?

:awesome:






(I know, I know, they sell prepackaged bone meal, but the thought tickled me.)
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Richter on March 29, 2010, 08:18:30 PM
Dude, working with bone is as perverse as you want to get with it. 
Buying a dog bone from a pet store works, boiling and drying a bone from a ham works, harvesting the skulls os your enemies or robbing graves works too  :lulz:
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Hoser McRhizzy on March 29, 2010, 10:08:13 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 29, 2010, 05:59:15 AM

Cook a 1:20 ratio of guar gum powder and water.  Store in a jar.


Label: Penis butter.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 29, 2010, 10:41:13 PM
After some more 'authenticity research', I think it definitely needs the grainy white clouds.   Will try bone powder.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: AFK on March 30, 2010, 02:52:27 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 29, 2010, 05:59:15 AM
Yes, I went after a fat porn star with a scalpel in hopes of obtaining an endless supply of jizz.

I do this sort of thing all the time.

OK, I might as well post the recipe.  Maybe someone will try it and improve on it in the interest of better fake jizz.

Cook a 1:20 ratio of guar gum powder and water.  Store in a jar.  That simple.

Now try it.  It's fun!

Well, it was funny when it was in MY head.
Title: Re: Requesting Ideas
Post by: Jasper on March 30, 2010, 03:35:09 AM
Hmm, sarcasm fell flat. 

Yeah, it was funny.  I lol'd.