Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
:lulz:
Funny, they instantly developed an unshakable faith in not messing with you, or defying your commandments.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Priceless! Now only if you could have gotten a picture of the look on his face...
:lulz:
Yeah, the first time I say no thank you in a very polite way. If they persist i say fuck god.
Ah the good old days :lulz:
The last time one of them showed up at the door, I brought out the Book of the Sub-Genius and some printed TGRR pamphlets to swap. They never came back. :?
I don't understand why, I even offered them tea!
Quote from: Suu on June 04, 2010, 08:19:59 PM
The last time one of them showed up at the door, I brought out the Book of the Sub-Genius and some printed TGRR pamphlets to swap. They never came back. :?
I don't understand why, I even offered them tea!
Well, if it was JW's then they marked you as "NI" (Not Interested) on their little House to House Record. That means they won't come back. However, at some point, once they've gone through all the houses in their assigned territory, they will turn that territory in and someone else will get it... they will start the process all over again.
Little known fact, if you don't want JW's to come to your house, ask them to place a note in the territory that you are not to be called on again. Those notes stay with the territory and elders may show up ever 5 years or so to see if you moved or changed your mind.
If you DO want JW"s to come back for more abuse... accept the literature. They will suffer through anything if they believe that you 'might' actually be interested in joining them. For extra kicks you can accept their offer of a home bible study... then they'll show up once a week at a proscribed time and take as much abuse as you can hand out... IF they think they're getting somewhere.
I once spent six months 'studying' with someone that was just getting their kicks. :lulz:
Quote from: Ratatosk on June 04, 2010, 08:45:55 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 04, 2010, 08:19:59 PM
The last time one of them showed up at the door, I brought out the Book of the Sub-Genius and some printed TGRR pamphlets to swap. They never came back. :?
I don't understand why, I even offered them tea!
Well, if it was JW's then they marked you as "NI" (Not Interested) on their little House to House Record. That means they won't come back. However, at some point, once they've gone through all the houses in their assigned territory, they will turn that territory in and someone else will get it... they will start the process all over again.
Little known fact, if you don't want JW's to come to your house, ask them to place a note in the territory that you are not to be called on again. Those notes stay with the territory and elders may show up ever 5 years or so to see if you moved or changed your mind.
If you DO want JW"s to come back for more abuse... accept the literature. They will suffer through anything if they believe that you 'might' actually be interested in joining them. For extra kicks you can accept their offer of a home bible study... then they'll show up once a week at a proscribed time and take as much abuse as you can hand out... IF they think they're getting somewhere.
I once spent six months 'studying' with someone that was just getting their kicks. :lulz:
Actually sounds fun if you have the patience for it.
A friend of mine from high school got a Mormon missionary to promise that he would watch Orgazmo
I have decided that if they ignore my sign and knock I am going to the door naked and will invite them in.
I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 05, 2010, 02:02:35 AM
I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.
Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 02:03:54 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 05, 2010, 02:02:35 AM
I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.
Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?
Saturday is the seventh day. That's a required day of rest and worship by the ten commandments.
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
Holy shit, Beast. :lulz:
That is fucking hilarious.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 05, 2010, 02:06:08 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 02:03:54 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 05, 2010, 02:02:35 AM
I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.
Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?
Saturday is the seventh day. That's a required day of rest and worship by the ten commandments.
Right, still not sure I follow? Don't JW's recognize the sabbath as Saturday?
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
Shit dude, your screen name is well deserved.
THat's fucking awesome
Thank you very much. (Not sure if I would do it today though)
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 05:18:23 AM
Thank you very much. (Not sure if I would do it today though)
Yeah, might be harder to pull off
I think it would be just as easy. Once they are through the door, they wouldn't want to risk offending their host by refusing a harmless little cup of tea or coffee, with a couple of Ginger Nuts if they are really lucky!
2 sugars?
What's the worst that can happen?
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 07:43:06 PM
I think it would be just as easy. Once they are through the door, they wouldn't want to risk offending their host by refusing a harmless little cup of tea or coffee, with a couple of Ginger Nuts if they are really lucky!
2 sugars?
What's the worst that can happen?
:aaa:
I'll have to be extra cautious if ever a time comes when you offer me tea.
Bad Beast I love you
<3 <3 <3
Acid is hard to find these days, it'd be a waste.
Hawk and BadBeast! :mittens: :lulz:
Shucks, people! :oops: It was a moment of impulsive madness, nearly 20 years ago. (Wonder if they've come down yet?) :eek:
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:01:21 PM
Shucks, people! :oops: It was a moment of impulsive madness, nearly 20 years ago. (Wonder if they've come down yet?) :eek:
Yeah but those make some of the best anecdotes. Anecdote where it's like, "I was smart and did this very responsible thing" are not nearly as entertaining as "I slipped acid in the missionary's tea" :lulz:
Mrs. Hawk has agreed to go to door nekkid wiff me. :evil:
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 08:03:31 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:01:21 PM
Shucks, people! :oops: It was a moment of impulsive madness, nearly 20 years ago. (Wonder if they've come down yet?) :eek:
Yeah but those make some of the best anecdotes. Anecdote where it's like, "I was smart and did this very responsible thing" are not nearly as entertaining as "I slipped acid in the missionary's tea" :lulz:
Well, it will be something to tell my Grandchildren when I'm old and feeble.. (I don't actually have any Grandchildren)
My mate did the same thing, with big doses of LSD, in malice, to two Policemen who had come to his house to give him a Court Date. They were all, like pretending to be his "Buddy" with, "Can we come in and talk to you about your Court Date?" I saw him put two 400 mike Dots in each cup. I shook my head, and mouthed "No"! silently at him, but he had a grin like a Chesire cat on, and there was no stopping him.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:19:16 PM
My mate did the same thing, with big doses of LSD, in malice, to two Policemen who had come to his house to give him a Court Date. They were all, like pretending to be his "Buddy" with, "Can we come in and talk to you about your Court Date?" I saw him put two 400 mike Dots in each cup. I shook my head, and mouthed "No"! silently at him, but he had a grin like a Chesire cat on, and there was no stopping him.
Oh, that is dangerous, what happened?
Quote from: Hawk on June 05, 2010, 08:04:18 PM
Mrs. Hawk has agreed to go to door nekkid wiff me. :evil:
There has to be someone "frothy" there, with a Bibbel.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:19:16 PM
My mate did the same thing, with big doses of LSD, in malice, to two Policemen who had come to his house to give him a Court Date. They were all, like pretending to be his "Buddy" with, "Can we come in and talk to you about your Court Date?" I saw him put two 400 mike Dots in each cup. I shook my head, and mouthed "No"! silently at him, but he had a grin like a Chesire cat on, and there was no stopping him.
I've been on the giving and receiving end of that same grin.
Horrorlulz.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 08:24:45 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:19:16 PM
My mate did the same thing, with big doses of LSD, in malice, to two Policemen who had come to his house to give him a Court Date. They were all, like pretending to be his "Buddy" with, "Can we come in and talk to you about your Court Date?" I saw him put two 400 mike Dots in each cup. I shook my head, and mouthed "No"! silently at him, but he had a grin like a Chesire cat on, and there was no stopping him.
Oh, that is dangerous, what happened?
He sat there politely listening to them, with that huge grin across his face, sipping tea, and nodding, while these two plods, started trying to "groom" him as a possible source of information. After about half an hour, I came back into the room, and these two Uniforms were looking decidedly nervous. They kept glancing around, at the slightest noise. Quite jumpy, they were. My mate Daffy was thoroughly enjoying himself by now, and kept talking at them really fast, with his pikiest voice, and they couldn't understand a word he was saying. Then he would suddenly ask them what they thought. And of course, having the type of personality that is dependent on a need to have an illusion of control, they would nod, and agree with him. Just say yes. Then he got up, and got a little pair of speakers from behind the sofa. Handed them to one of the Coppers, and said, "I'll let you have cheap then, them for £20" and this poor bastard just took the speakers, (which were stolen, and didn't work anyway) pulled out his wallet, and gave him £20. Daffy fixed him in the eye, and said "£20, mate! you just gave me a tenner!" so he gave him another £20! (That was £40!) The speakers would have only cost £8 if he'd bought them new! By then, they were seriously tripping. And they couldn't get to the door fast enough! After they left, they sat outside the house in their squad car for at least 3 hours, we were ringing our other mates up, and telling them there were 2 Coppers, sat in a Car outside our house, tripping their nuts off! And they would walk past the car, and bang on the roof, as they went by, for the crack. That was the only time I ever felt a little bit sorry for a Copper. (Only a little bit though) That was
very strong Acid too. and they both double dropped.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:57:58 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 08:24:45 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:19:16 PM
My mate did the same thing, with big doses of LSD, in malice, to two Policemen who had come to his house to give him a Court Date. They were all, like pretending to be his "Buddy" with, "Can we come in and talk to you about your Court Date?" I saw him put two 400 mike Dots in each cup. I shook my head, and mouthed "No"! silently at him, but he had a grin like a Chesire cat on, and there was no stopping him.
Oh, that is dangerous, what happened?
He sat there politely listening to them, with that huge grin across his face, sipping tea, and nodding, while these two plods, started trying to "groom" him as a possible source of information. After about half an hour, I came back into the room, and these two Uniforms were looking decidedly nervous. They kept glancing around, at the slightest noise. Quite jumpy, they were. My mate Daffy was thoroughly enjoying himself by now, and kept talking at them really fast, with his pikiest voice, and they couldn't understand a word he was saying. Then he would suddenly ask them what they thought. And of course, having the type of personality that is dependent on a need to have an illusion of control, they would nod, and agree with him. Just say yes. Then he got up, and got a little pair of speakers from behind the sofa. Handed them to one of the Coppers, and said, "I'll let you have cheap then, them for £20" and this poor bastard just took the speakers, (which were stolen, and didn't work anyway) pulled out his wallet, and gave him £20. Daffy fixed him in the eye, and said "£20, mate! you just gave me a tenner!" so he gave him another £20! (That was £40!) The speakers would have only cost £8 if he'd bought them new! By then, they were seriously tripping. And they couldn't get to the door fast enough! After they left, they sat outside the house in their squad car for at least 3 hours, we were ringing our other mates up, and telling them there were 2 Coppers, sat in a Car outside our house, tripping their nuts off! And they would walk past the car, and bang on the roof, as they went by, for the crack. That was the only time I ever felt a little bit sorry for a Copper. (Only a little bit though) That was very strong Acid too. and they both double dropped.
Ok, that is a bit funny, since nothing untoward happened or that they reported it. I imagine drugging a cop is not something a judge would be too happy about. The forty quid thing is awesome though.
Edit: What I mean like, is that this sounds like a scene out of a movie
It felt like a scene out of a Freak brothers comic at the time. They couldn't have got him for anything though, as Acid is virtually untraceable in the system. I think the Coppers must have just gone somewhere quiet, until it all stopped. They left the car outside fro 2 days though. By the time his his Court Date came, he'd gone on the run, and they didn't catch up with him for four years. (Which is exactly what they eventually gave him) :lulz:
Hahahaa! :lulz:
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 05, 2010, 08:56:55 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 08:19:16 PM
My mate did the same thing, with big doses of LSD, in malice, to two Policemen who had come to his house to give him a Court Date. They were all, like pretending to be his "Buddy" with, "Can we come in and talk to you about your Court Date?" I saw him put two 400 mike Dots in each cup. I shook my head, and mouthed "No"! silently at him, but he had a grin like a Chesire cat on, and there was no stopping him.
I've been on the giving and receiving end of that same grin.
Horrorlulz.
Yeah, Helps to justify doing it to others, if you've been done yourself at some point.
I was always a glutton for it though. (And that is the lulziest grin I've ever seen/done)
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 05:08:41 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 05, 2010, 02:06:08 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 05, 2010, 02:03:54 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 05, 2010, 02:02:35 AM
I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.
Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?
Saturday is the seventh day. That's a required day of rest and worship by the ten commandments.
Right, still not sure I follow? Don't JW's recognize the sabbath as Saturday?
Apparently not, unless trying to convert people falls under the worship part of that.
Hrmmm... well here's the view on the 10 Commandments from a JW perspective.
The Mosaic Law Covenant (of which the 10 Commandments are just the most popular bit) was a covenant between YHVH and the Israelite Nation with Moses as the mediator of that covenant.
When Jesus came, he fulfilled the Mosaic Law Covenant and began a New Covenant, this was between all of Mankind and YHVH with Jesus as the antitypical Moses... the mediator. This New Covenant replace the Mosaic Law.
The Old Covenant required that the Jewish people adhere to ALL of the laws God gave them. As it was impossible to be 100% perfectly in line with these laws, the Jews performed series of yearly sacrifices to pay for their sins. Particularly during the Atonement Day ritual when they would bring out the 'Goat for Azazel' and the High Priest would basically places all the sins of Israel on the goat. The goat was then taken into the wilderness and killed in a rather creative fashion, symbolizing blood payment for sins. When Jesus came, he was the first Jew to 100% follow the Law... thus he was Perfect.
According to the Bible "The wages Sin pays is Death"... aka If you Sin, you are condemned to death. Since Jesus didn't sin, he didn't need to die. However, he became a Perfect Sacrifice and his perfect blood under the New Covenant covers all sins of all humankind.
The New Covenant, as laid out in the Greek Scriptures is much more simple, covers Gentiles as well as Jews and doesn't say anything about the Sabbath.
Christians that think they need to follow the 10 Commandments forget that they must also take sacrificial animals to the Temple of YHVH and have a Levitical Priest sacrifice it for them. Not to mention not eating Pork, Shellfish etc.
Holy Crap, it scares me how easily I remember that crap! :horrormirth:
I'll just keep mine simple. If they do agree to come in after I answer the door naked then I will ask if it's alright if I masturbate while we talk about it because I am gay for god.
Quote from: Hawk on June 07, 2010, 03:39:31 PM
I'll just keep mine simple. If they do agree to come in after I answer the door naked then I will ask if it's alright if I masturbate while we talk about it because I am gay for god.
They will think you are demonized and leave...
I used to think lots of people were demonized. Objects could be demonized, people, houses... looking back, it was like some kind of bad sci-fi movie. I recall us running from some crazy guy in Manhattan because it was obvious he was demonized... (I think now he was just crazy).
Quote from: Ratatosk on June 07, 2010, 03:35:16 PM
Hrmmm... well here's the view on the 10 Commandments from a JW perspective.
The Mosaic Law Covenant (of which the 10 Commandments are just the most popular bit) was a covenant between YHVH and the Israelite Nation with Moses as the mediator of that covenant.
When Jesus came, he fulfilled the Mosaic Law Covenant and began a New Covenant, this was between all of Mankind and YHVH with Jesus as the antitypical Moses... the mediator. This New Covenant replace the Mosaic Law.
The Old Covenant required that the Jewish people adhere to ALL of the laws God gave them. As it was impossible to be 100% perfectly in line with these laws, the Jews performed series of yearly sacrifices to pay for their sins. Particularly during the Atonement Day ritual when they would bring out the 'Goat for Azazel' and the High Priest would basically places all the sins of Israel on the goat. The goat was then taken into the wilderness and killed in a rather creative fashion, symbolizing blood payment for sins. When Jesus came, he was the first Jew to 100% follow the Law... thus he was Perfect.
According to the Bible "The wages Sin pays is Death"... aka If you Sin, you are condemned to death. Since Jesus didn't sin, he didn't need to die. However, he became a Perfect Sacrifice and his perfect blood under the New Covenant covers all sins of all humankind.
The New Covenant, as laid out in the Greek Scriptures is much more simple, covers Gentiles as well as Jews and doesn't say anything about the Sabbath.
Christians that think they need to follow the 10 Commandments forget that they must also take sacrificial animals to the Temple of YHVH and have a Levitical Priest sacrifice it for them. Not to mention not eating Pork, Shellfish etc.
Holy Crap, it scares me how easily I remember that crap! :horrormirth:
Yeah I kinda figured that was the line. I was pretty clear with em leading up to that point though that I considered the golden rule and the ten commandments as the important bits, and that if something contradicted that it was probably a mistranslation.
Throw out the mosaic law and you can't hate gays anymore, and as far as I can tell they definitely hate gays.
Inre: The OP.
If anyone comes to your house for any reason other than an express invitation from yourself, or armed with a warrant, they are fair game. Even if one or both of the above conditions are met, they might still be fair game.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2010, 09:02:56 PM
Inre: The OP.
If anyone comes to your house for any reason other than an express invitation from yourself, or armed with a warrant, they are fair game. Even if one or both of the above conditions are met, they might still be fair game.
"Warning. Casual callers may be subjected to Psychosis inducing Drugs, traumatised by indiscriminate sexual overtures, or any combination of these factors"
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 09:13:32 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2010, 09:02:56 PM
Inre: The OP.
If anyone comes to your house for any reason other than an express invitation from yourself, or armed with a warrant, they are fair game. Even if one or both of the above conditions are met, they might still be fair game.
"Warning. Casual callers may be subjected to Psychosis inducing Drugs, traumatised by indiscriminate sexual overtures, or any combination of these factors"
Those words might too big for them to heed
But surely counted as a legitimate disclaimer? (In Court)
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 09:23:54 PM
But surely counted as a legitimate disclaimer? (In Court)
I don't see that they deserve any sort of warning at all. They are taking precious minutes away from me, that I can't get back.
Quote from: Hawk on June 07, 2010, 03:39:31 PM
I'll just keep mine simple. If they do agree to come in after I answer the door naked then I will ask if it's alright if I masturbate while we talk about it because I am gay for god.
"Hawk and God, sitting in a tree, w,a,n,k,i,n,g" :fap: :lulz:
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 09:26:17 PM
Quote from: Hawk on June 07, 2010, 03:39:31 PM
I'll just keep mine simple. If they do agree to come in after I answer the door naked then I will ask if it's alright if I masturbate while we talk about it because I am gay for god.
"Hawk and God, sitting in a tree, w,a,n,k,i,n,g" :fap: :lulz:
:lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2010, 09:24:56 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 09:23:54 PM
But surely counted as a legitimate disclaimer? (In Court)
I don't see that they deserve any sort of warning at all. They are taking precious minutes away from me, that I can't get back.
Of course they don't
deserve it, but neither do you deserve to face any legal repercussions for trauma suffered. And if the Animal shelter have stopped dropping excess critters off to you, what else are you supposed to
experiment on?
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
Jehovahs are a rare bunch here. I live in Utah.
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 01:23:22 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
Jehovahs are a rare bunch here. I live in Utah.
I will give Mormons one thing- they're usually very helpful to strangers, even if you tell them you don't give a crap about their religion.
And no-one knows their Bible, like the JW's.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2010, 09:02:56 PM
Inre: The OP.
If anyone comes to your house for any reason other than an express invitation from yourself, or armed with a warrant, they are fair game. Even if one or both of the above conditions are met, they might still be fair game.
Fact.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 07, 2010, 09:26:17 PM
Quote from: Hawk on June 07, 2010, 03:39:31 PM
I'll just keep mine simple. If they do agree to come in after I answer the door naked then I will ask if it's alright if I masturbate while we talk about it because I am gay for god.
"Hawk and God, sitting in a tree, w,a,n,k,i,n,g" :fap: :lulz:
:lulz:
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 04:29:22 AM
And no-one knows their Bible, like the JW's.
Sadly true... When I left at age 25 I'd read the whole damn thing three times on my own and gone through it 3 times as part of the Assigned Weekly reading.
I often thought I must've done that with Lord of the Rings. But without the Evangelising/Witnessing thing.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 05:07:09 PM
I often thought I must've done that with Lord of the Rings. But without the Evangelising/Witnessing thing.
You could try to evangelize on behalf of the great Sauron if you really wanted.
Yeah, that's a possibility, but everyone's seen LOTR Now, so Sauron would be better, renamed, and repackaged, and sprayed down with febreeze. Like they did with Mithras when they Christed everthing. Plenty to work with, he's just a big ol' eye, after all. Soaring Man sees everyting, You sorry spinners, Make prays to him! He sees from his eye, all teh way to teh ends of teh Shires, and into our lifes like it was a rodesign, an he tells us to keep the precious, precious, my precious, or teh nasty elfys will make us all bow under teh yoke of teh Hippy Lord, Grunduff teh Geyh.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 07:02:31 PM
Yeah, that's a possibility, but everyone's seen LOTR Now, so Sauron would be better, renamed, and repackaged, and sprayed down with febreeze. Like they did with Mithras when they Christed everthing. Plenty to work with, he's just a big ol' eye, after all. Soaring cat sees everyting, You sorry spinners, Make prays to him!
You could always go to third world countries like the Christians do.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
LDS won't drink coffee. I'm not sure if they'll even drink soda. Just as a warning so that you spike the right thing.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 08, 2010, 09:55:19 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
LDS won't drink coffee. I'm not sure if they'll even drink soda. Just as a warning so that you spike the right thing.
Take it from an ex mormon, they drink soda.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
They probably just assumed it was some demonic presence trying to fuck with them. :lulz:
Quote from: BadBeast on Today at 19:02:31
Yeah, that's a possibility, but everyone's seen LOTR Now, so Sauron would be better, renamed, and repackaged, and sprayed down with febreeze. Like they did with Mithras when they Christed everthing. Plenty to work with, he's just a big ol' eye, after all. Soaring cat sees everyting, You sorry spinners, Make prays to him!
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on Today at 66.66
You could always go to third world countries like the Christians do.
And end up getting kidnapped by armed gangs of Rebels, or insurgents in some half baked arid Hell hole, trying to preach Numenorean Mysticism, to people who eat stuff like Jellyfish, or crunchy fried bugs?
I'd only consider it, if the beds were soft, and I didn't have to eat anything that has more limbs than me, or more eyes than me. And I don't want to see a single bloody Hobbit, Wizard, or any of those Bastard Nazgul. Creepy fucks. A couple of Elf "Chambermaids"
(NOT Wood Elves, ((Unbearable Hippys)) I want HIGH Elves!) A Troll Bodyguard, and a good Cook. Then I'd be up for it. Perhaps.
@Ratatosk. I think there may well have actually been a Demonic presence trying to fuck with them.
I did nothing to discourage any traffic from the Darkside, not my fault the batteries in their Watchtowers didn't work,
or when they pulled out their Bibles for spiritual reassurance, they'd unfortunately forgotten how to read!
(If they had had illuminated manuscripts, instead, they might have felt a little less, . . . Possessed!) :lulz:
Quote from: Hawk on June 08, 2010, 09:55:58 PM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 08, 2010, 09:55:19 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
LDS won't drink coffee. I'm not sure if they'll even drink soda. Just as a warning so that you spike the right thing.
Take it from an ex mormon, they drink soda.
Yeah I remember Romney saying something to that effect. The rule is not to drink "hot drinks". That can be interpreted as coffee or tea. But soda isn't hot. So depending on your interp you can drink caffeine.
In England, everybody drinks Tea. It's the Law!
It is an offence, punishable by up to £2000 fine, and / or 3 weeks in Prison, to refuse, when offered, a Cup of Tea. Unless , of course you are carrying a form T.E.694/b "Tea Exemption Certificate", signed by your Doktor, and your MP.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 08, 2010, 10:54:34 PM
Quote from: Hawk on June 08, 2010, 09:55:58 PM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 08, 2010, 09:55:19 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
LDS won't drink coffee. I'm not sure if they'll even drink soda. Just as a warning so that you spike the right thing.
Take it from an ex mormon, they drink soda.
Yeah I remember Romney saying something to that effect. The rule is not to drink "hot drinks". That can be interpreted as coffee or tea. But soda isn't hot. So depending on your interp you can drink caffeine.
The Word Of Wisdom specifically states no coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco or harmful drugs.
Quote from: Hawk on June 08, 2010, 11:08:22 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 08, 2010, 10:54:34 PM
Quote from: Hawk on June 08, 2010, 09:55:58 PM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 08, 2010, 09:55:19 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on June 08, 2010, 01:12:36 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on June 08, 2010, 12:56:46 AM
Quote from: Hawk on June 04, 2010, 06:03:38 PM
Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.
Sometimes timing is everything.
Awsome!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2010, 04:06:24 AM
I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.
You have accomplished a small part of my dream of one day spiking a LDS sacrament with LSD.
They were Jehovahs Witlesses, but I would have still done it if they were LDS. (They're not so endemic over here.) JW's are almost as funny, and just as Zealous.
LDS won't drink coffee. I'm not sure if they'll even drink soda. Just as a warning so that you spike the right thing.
Take it from an ex mormon, they drink soda.
Yeah I remember Romney saying something to that effect. The rule is not to drink "hot drinks". That can be interpreted as coffee or tea. But soda isn't hot. So depending on your interp you can drink caffeine.
The Word Of Wisdom specifically states no coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco or harmful drugs.
Thanks Hawk, I knew that I would probably mess it up.
Why not give them a nice healthy granola bar, or some home made flapjacks, liberally sprayed down, with a plant mister, and a 5% solution? All that Oaty goodness is so hard to resist!