Door knocking Bible Thumpers

[Adios]

Last evening I saw several people going door to door in my neighborhood with pamphlets in their hands. I went to my office and with a magic marker wrote "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR GOD. DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR." As I was putting the last piece of tape on my poster they came to my porch. I just stared at them as they read my sign. One guy started to say something and I cocked my eyebrow at him. His mouth slammed shut and they left.

Sometimes timing is everything.

[Richter]

 

Funny, they instantly developed an unshakable faith in not messing with you, or defying your commandments. 

[Dimocritus]

 

Priceless! Now only if you could have gotten a picture of the look on his face...

[Adios]

 

Yeah, the first time I say no thank you in a very polite way. If they persist i say fuck god.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Ah the good old days 

[Suu]

The last time one of them showed up at the door, I brought out the Book of the Sub-Genius and some printed TGRR pamphlets to swap. They never came back. 

I don't understand why, I even offered them tea!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

The last time one of them showed up at the door, I brought out the Book of the Sub-Genius and some printed TGRR pamphlets to swap. They never came back. 

I don't understand why, I even offered them tea!

Well, if it was JW's then they marked you as "NI" (Not Interested) on their little House to House Record. That means they won't come back. However, at some point, once they've gone through all the houses in their assigned territory, they will turn that territory in and someone else will get it... they will start the process all over again.

Little known fact, if you don't want JW's to come to your house, ask them to place a note in the territory that you are not to be called on again. Those notes stay with the territory and elders may show up ever 5 years or so to see if you moved or changed your mind.

If you DO want JW"s to come back for more abuse... accept the literature. They will suffer through anything if they believe that you 'might' actually be interested in joining them. For extra kicks you can accept their offer of a home bible study... then they'll show up once a week at a proscribed time and take as much abuse as you can hand out... IF they think they're getting somewhere.

I once spent six months 'studying' with someone that was just getting their kicks. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The last time one of them showed up at the door, I brought out the Book of the Sub-Genius and some printed TGRR pamphlets to swap. They never came back. 

I don't understand why, I even offered them tea!

Well, if it was JW's then they marked you as "NI" (Not Interested) on their little House to House Record. That means they won't come back. However, at some point, once they've gone through all the houses in their assigned territory, they will turn that territory in and someone else will get it... they will start the process all over again.

Little known fact, if you don't want JW's to come to your house, ask them to place a note in the territory that you are not to be called on again. Those notes stay with the territory and elders may show up ever 5 years or so to see if you moved or changed your mind.

If you DO want JW"s to come back for more abuse... accept the literature. They will suffer through anything if they believe that you 'might' actually be interested in joining them. For extra kicks you can accept their offer of a home bible study... then they'll show up once a week at a proscribed time and take as much abuse as you can hand out... IF they think they're getting somewhere.

I once spent six months 'studying' with someone that was just getting their kicks. 

Actually sounds fun if you have the patience for it.
A friend of mine from high school got a Mormon missionary to promise that he would watch Orgazmo

[Adios]

I have decided that if they ignore my sign and knock I am going to the door naked and will invite them in.

[BabylonHoruv]

I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.

Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?

[BabylonHoruv]

I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.

Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?

Saturday is the seventh day.  That's a required day of rest and worship by the ten commandments.

[BadBeast]

I have in the past invited them in, I have given them LSD, I have opened the door naked, told them I was up to my hilt in pussy, but if they'd like to come in and wait, I shouldn't be too long. They actually came in! I couldn't believe it. That's the only reason I gave them Acid, because if they have such a brass fucking neck, as to do that, then they are fucking mine! And I will get my licks in. Would you like a cup of coffee? *smiles lulzy smile* There is a much longer tale to tell regarding one of these particular Jehovah's Witnesses, but that is for annother day.

[Jasper]

Holy shit, Beast.   

That is fucking hilarious.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I strung a couple of JW's along for a few weeks, then one asked if they could come back on Saturday and i said i had non interest in continuing a conversation with people who didn't recognize the ten commandments.

Didn't recognize the ten commandments? What?

Saturday is the seventh day.  That's a required day of rest and worship by the ten commandments.

Right, still not sure I follow? Don't JW's recognize the sabbath as Saturday?