Have you ever wondered where PD posters of yesteryear are now? Do you wonder if they've become great men and women of virtue and stature? Do you have a secret crush on that guy that posted that thing a couple of years ago and want his AIM Handle? Do you have 5 minutes to kill and want to read a stupid thread?
By crikey you're in luck! A crack team of time-wasters, er journalists, or something combed the interwebs, back-alleys, and Craigslist entries to piece together the last known whereabouts, activities, and random made-up bullshit about your favorite former pd.com poster.
Our first entry:
Laz: Laz is like the Roger Ebert of the internet, if Roger Ebert were a paranoid conspiracy theorist who sat in his basement and critiqued made shit up about philosophical metaphors all day. Oh, and also I think Roger Ebert actually watched the movies he reviewed.
Anyhoo, sources recently uncovered that Laz has since gone-on to become a thorn in the side of Ghostbuster Convention organizers. All three of them. Apparently, Laz will frequently sneak into the Conventions dressed as Slimer. He then rushes the stage to launch into a long winded diatribe about how the StayPuft Marshmallow Man is an obvious Masonic plant to make the good children of the world turn into Christian Zombie Slaves and eat their parents.
The final straw was when Laz was caught in a convention stall yiffing with one of those demon dog things and he was promptly banned for life.
Lamanite PD.COM users will remember Lamanite as the guy who got all worked up about some Latin word who then went on to mumble on and on about wandering bison and why you should eat your cat, or something like that. We honestly stopped paying attention after that first thing.
Through some digging, we've discovered that Lamanite has opened up a new catering business called Taboo Stoup. No longer do you have to waste your time going to the grocery store or turning on an oven, or doing anything really when you want to eat. Just stand out on your porch and Taboo Stoup will come to you. Their menu is varied and uses the freshest stray animals available in your market.
We highly recommend having your meal vaccinated before consuming.
:lulz:
these are awesome
LHX LHX is one of our favorite former posters
A man of deep thought and some serious rhyming skills
We've been wondering
-lately
What it is,
-if you can dig-
It is that he's been doing.
Anonymous sources tell us that LHX has been
Hired, commandeered, or otherwise
goaded into
becoming
A speech writer for
um
President Obama.
Irreverend Hugh tl;dr
:lulz: Oh man, X, wish you would come back.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 24, 2010, 07:53:03 PM
LHX LHX is one of our favorite former posters
A man of deep thought and some serious rhyming skills
We've been wondering
-lately
What it is,
-if you can dig-
It is that he's been doing.
Anonymous sources tell us that LHX has been
Hired, commandeered, or otherwise
goaded into
becoming
A speech writer for
um
President Obama.
:lulz: So much win.
:mittens: to RWHN!
Thread of the year. Srsly.
Eldora We won't bore you with Eldora's backstory. :| Let us just say, it covers a lot of ground. :rimshot:
:lulz:
Anyhoo, :mrgreen: the latest on Eldora is that she has been tapped to replace the retiring Dr. Laura Schlessinger. :x :? :eek:
Yeah, I know this one isn't very funny. :kingmeh:
wade Wade. He was a mix of Dudley Do Right, Beetle Bailey, and Rick Moranis. I think that might be redundant. Oh and he was Canadian too, but not the good kind of Canadian.
It was recently uncovered that wade was assigned to join a squad of elite Canadian Commandos assigned to a guard an outpost in Nunavut, Canada. Further investigation has uncovered they are guarding exactly that. A post.
:lulz:
:mittens:
This thread is awesome!!!
Merlin of Chaos PD.COMites who joined in 2006 on are probably mostly unaware of one Mr. Merlin of Chaos. We like to refer to you folks as "lucky". Merlin of Chaos had a black belt in Angst and a PhD in Phail. And he was pretty fucking annoying too.
Since about 2007, Merlin of Chaos was touring the globe as a roadie for The Wiggles. Mostly, he had served as Murray Wiggle's guitar-tech. He also performed back-up vocals during "Fruit Salad, Yummy, Yummy"
Unfortunately, his time with the Wiggles was caught short when it was discovered he was sneaking out at night with the Wags the Dog costume. We don't know exactly what he was doing with the costume, but an anonymous source informed us that it required thorough cleaning and delousing.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 24, 2010, 08:20:16 PM
wade Wade. He was a mix of Dudley Do Right, Beetle Bailey, and Rick Moranis.
oh jesus that is the
perfect description.
Buddha's Ghost Penis What can we say about ole BGP. He was a warm soul who's chesticles were bountiful with warm platitudes, zen-like generosity, and probably a healthy portion of alcohol. Anything less, of course, would be very unhello.
To this day, the internet is abuzz with a furious debate about just who exactly BGP was. Was he real? Was he one person, or a series of ghost penii? Was he even a he? This heated discussion has made him something of a Modern-Day Shakespeare among the seven people who discuss this.
Recently, a new theory emerged that cites the identity of BGP as Drew Carey. Skeptics of this theory, however, will rightfully point out that Drew Carey has never been funny ever and that BGP was probably like a spam bot or something.
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more....
(and no, I haven't forgotten about him...)
Of whom do you speak, Dear RWHN? Could it be...
AKK? :D
:mittens:
That would be the one.
His probably just still trying to pimp out his music
Velvet Jesus: VJ was one of the first members of the board, and was a really, really nice person who was eventually driven away by a shit named Admiral Lexington who - upon seeing a pic of her hotness - harassed her incessantly with crude posts. Out of everyone from the very early days, I miss her, Poib, and Verthaine the most.
Poib: Really nice guy from 2002/2003. Was the first one to post pics of exploits, left in mid-2003, for reasons unknown, and hasn't been seen since. Presumed eaten by the Scrid.
Admiral Lexington: The very first PDer to say "You aren't REAL Discordians" when criticized for sexually harassing every female on the board. Eventually shat himself to death.
Lord Caramon (sp?): See Admiral Lexington, only without the temper tantrums. Left when he realized that he couldn't actually get laid through a plasma screen.
The Yogi Bear Cabal: EvT, Prince Tao Jones, The Commander, etc. Left when they realized that chaos wasn't all about stabbity stabbity pie stabbity. Of all 8-9 of them, only The Commander wasn't a complete shitneck. Most live in Europe, but Tao returned to Hamilton, Ontario in disgrace when EvT found out that he was basically useless in person.
Tyler: PD's very first troll. Widely suspected to be Hugh or one of his alleged IRL buddies. Tyler was successful only because, being the first, PD had no antibodies.
Ah, classics.
Verthaine: Probably one of the best human beings to post on PD, Verthaine added a whole lot to how the board thinks (on the positive side) without ever being really recognized for it. Verthaine left during the great civil war of 2004/2005, due to the drama. Was one of the original Four Ancient Wiseguys. Survived Katrina (and had a hell of an adventure doing so) and the death of his first wife, he has since remarried and is now taking care of his daughter, who had her feet blown off in Iraq.
Of all the people that have left PD, I miss Vince the most.
Quote from: Kai on August 24, 2010, 09:39:49 PM
Ah, classics.
I figured I'd hit the really early days.
Tomorrow, I'll hit the "inner circle", if RWHN doesn't beat me to it.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 24, 2010, 09:41:41 PM
Verthaine: Probably one of the best human beings to post on PD, Verthaine added a whole lot to how the board thinks (on the positive side) without ever being really recognized for it. Verthaine left during the great civil war of 2004/2005, due to the drama. Was one of the original Four Ancient Wiseguys. Survived Katrina (and had a hell of an adventure doing so) and the death of his first wife, he has since remarried and is now taking care of his daughter, who had her feet blown off in Iraq.
Of all the people that have left PD, I miss Vince the most.
Vince and the Slap-a-Ho tribe. I miss him!! :cry:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 24, 2010, 09:37:02 PM
The Yogi Bear Cabal: EvT, Prince Tao Jones, The Commander, etc. Left when they realized that chaos wasn't all about stabbity stabbity pie stabbity. Of all 8-9 of them, only The Commander wasn't a complete shitneck. Most live in Europe, but Tao returned to Hamilton, Ontario in disgrace when EvT found out that he was basically useless in person.
Those the folks that stole my "fuck you I want pie" bit thus making me look even more like a tool than I already do?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 24, 2010, 09:42:42 PM
Quote from: Kai on August 24, 2010, 09:39:49 PM
Ah, classics.
I figured I'd hit the really early days.
Tomorrow, I'll hit the "inner circle", if RWHN doesn't beat me to it.
I probably won't hit any figure who was primarily active 2005 and prior since I didn't arrive until May 05 and it took me awhile to get a feel for the place.
Starship, Take Me Starship, Take Me was with us for most of 06 and part of 07. He helped flesh out some ideas during the BIP discussions and sources say he may have been a HIMEOBS operative, if it ever existed, ever. He mysteriously vanished in mid 07.
Where is he now? Well, the Starship, it took him. That is, he's been doing the County Fair circuit with a Starship tribute band.
:lulz: I forgot about him.
I liked him. He was very cool.
Xenu He was most likely an alt of some sort. Xenu was most active in the post-apocalyptic period of PD.COM after the big civil war and server crashes. Activity almost came to a standstill, but Xenu tried to make up for that by starting 10 threads a day about how awesome Sweden is. Eventually he went away, and then pd.com came under new management and happy funtimes came back.
Xenu relocated to New Sweden, Maine. When he discovered that New Sweden was an awful place and nothing like the real Sweden, he got pissed off, put some crap in some coffee in a Lutheran church and people got sick and junk. He was sentenced to do community service in Norway, Maine.
DJ Rubberducky The author will most remember DJ Rubberducky for the "Black Sheep are Still Sheep" memebomb. But DJ Rubberducky was overall a very cool poster.
We don't know where she is but it probably would be better if she were still here.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 06:50:17 PM
DJ Rubberducky The author will most remember DJ Rubberducky for the "Black Sheep are Still Sheep" memebomb. But DJ Rubberducky was overall a very cool poster.
We don't know where she is but it probably would be better if she were still here.
I fucking hated her.
What ever happened to Fizzwitz Glorypoop?
I liked DJR...Fizz is another kettle of fish altogether.
I don't remember much, TBQH. Just the name and some hazy details.
I have this great ability (read: disability) to forget huge chunks of my past until someone reminds me. :lol:
Fizz was rather...hornery. I remember her as surly and insulting.
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 07:57:19 PM
Fizz was rather...hornery. I remember her as surly and insulting.
And DJR was a piece of shit, IMO. She was QUICK to jump on the pile, back in 2004/2005.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Xenu He was most likely an alt of some sort. Xenu was most active in the post-apocalyptic period of PD.COM after the big civil war and server crashes. Activity almost came to a standstill, but Xenu tried to make up for that by starting 10 threads a day about how awesome Sweden is. Eventually he went away, and then pd.com came under new management and happy funtimes came back.
Xenu relocated to New Sweden, Maine. When he discovered that New Sweden was an awful place and nothing like the real Sweden, he got pissed off, put some crap in some coffee in a Lutheran church and people got sick and junk. He was sentenced to do community service in Norway, Maine.
Xenu is also remembered for the greatest troll of all time on POEE, where he worked loopholes in the posting editing rules to make it look like Synaptyx had posted that the forum had to close down. It was glorious. :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 07:58:26 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 07:57:19 PM
Fizz was rather...hornery. I remember her as surly and insulting.
And DJR was a piece of shit, IMO. She was QUICK to jump on the pile, back in 2004/2005.
I came in on the scene shortly thereafter, I think. So I don't remember that so well.
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:02:40 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 07:58:26 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 07:57:19 PM
Fizz was rather...hornery. I remember her as surly and insulting.
And DJR was a piece of shit, IMO. She was QUICK to jump on the pile, back in 2004/2005.
I came in on the scene shortly thereafter, I think. So I don't remember that so well.
Yeah, she jumped right in with Malaul and Agent Compassion, all the while sniveling about "the drama" in the very same posts in which she made things worse.
I don't miss her. Not one fucking bit.
Quote from: Kai on August 25, 2010, 07:59:19 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Xenu He was most likely an alt of some sort. Xenu was most active in the post-apocalyptic period of PD.COM after the big civil war and server crashes. Activity almost came to a standstill, but Xenu tried to make up for that by starting 10 threads a day about how awesome Sweden is. Eventually he went away, and then pd.com came under new management and happy funtimes came back.
Xenu relocated to New Sweden, Maine. When he discovered that New Sweden was an awful place and nothing like the real Sweden, he got pissed off, put some crap in some coffee in a Lutheran church and people got sick and junk. He was sentenced to do community service in Norway, Maine.
Xenu is also remembered for the greatest troll of all time on POEE, where he worked loopholes in the posting editing rules to make it look like Synaptyx had posted that the forum had to close down. It was glorious. :lulz:
No, that was Xooxe.
And I liked Fizz. She has posted more recently under the username Tempest Virago.
I think when she came back (and I do remember her coming back after ECH/Faust took over with 000, Cain and TGRR's help--and others whom I've probably forgotten to name), she was happier. I just remember her being very angry when I first came aboard. Fred mellowed out too, now that I think about it, and so did Badge.
Well no doubt part of that attitude was a result of being seen as being in the ECH/Roger/WSotTC camp and having to take constant shit and snide remarks from...well, the people Dok named, since anyone associated with us was EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.
Quote from: Cain on August 25, 2010, 08:11:27 PM
Quote from: Kai on August 25, 2010, 07:59:19 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Xenu He was most likely an alt of some sort. Xenu was most active in the post-apocalyptic period of PD.COM after the big civil war and server crashes. Activity almost came to a standstill, but Xenu tried to make up for that by starting 10 threads a day about how awesome Sweden is. Eventually he went away, and then pd.com came under new management and happy funtimes came back.
Xenu relocated to New Sweden, Maine. When he discovered that New Sweden was an awful place and nothing like the real Sweden, he got pissed off, put some crap in some coffee in a Lutheran church and people got sick and junk. He was sentenced to do community service in Norway, Maine.
Xenu is also remembered for the greatest troll of all time on POEE, where he worked loopholes in the posting editing rules to make it look like Synaptyx had posted that the forum had to close down. It was glorious. :lulz:
No, that was Xooxe.
And I liked Fizz. She has posted more recently under the username Tempest Virago.
Jesus, I can't remember names worth crap. :|
This place was rather like an Afghan war when I first came, so alliances and misalliances weren't that easy to figure out. Didn't help I was getting PM'd info from the sidelines that was meant to fuck me up, too. :(
Luckily, that shit didn't last here.
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:22:56 PM
Didn't help I was getting PM'd info from the sidelines that was meant to fuck me up, too. :(
From whom?
Quote from: Cain on August 25, 2010, 08:26:57 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:22:56 PM
Didn't help I was getting PM'd info from the sidelines that was meant to fuck me up, too. :(
From whom?
I'll PM you.
I heard some people from MW became rabbis, and had sex in the forest, or something.