Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Lies on November 18, 2010, 05:18:13 AM

Title: America is so awesome
Post by: Lies on November 18, 2010, 05:18:13 AM
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e6vi0/a_relative_of_a_close_friend_helped_a_school/

Question asked by a reddit user to the community:
Quote
background: Relative of a close friend (we'll call him Todd) carried mountain dew in his backpack to school every day. For a few weeks, this bully ("Brian") would go in his bag, say fuck you, and drink the mountain dew.

Fed up with this and being a cunning lad, last Tuesday Todd drinks the mountain dew before class, and pisses in the bottle. Brian drank the piss, shat brix, and Todd emerged the victor that day.

Now, Brian's family is threating to sue, claiming Todd endangered Brian's health. Todd's family is apparently shitting and scrambling to collect character references for Todd from teachers, letters from doctors saying urine isn't harmful, and generally thinking their son is a psycho.

I applaud Todd and think that he should walk into court holding a bottle of piss, it's freedom of expression, some people like piss filled bottles, but IANAL.

Edit The school became aware of the incident when it happened. I believe Todd was suspended for a short period of time. The principal is actually instructing Brian's parents to press charges because the school doesn't want to get further involved

:horrormirth:
Land of the free, indeed.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Don Coyote on November 18, 2010, 05:20:35 AM
oh ffs.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: E.O.T. on November 18, 2010, 05:22:05 AM


UNLESS

          one is in extremely bad health, piss is better for consumption than mountain dew
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on November 18, 2010, 05:34:28 AM
i'm pretty sure we all need to donate $10 to Todd's legal defense fund, in the name of the POEE.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on November 18, 2010, 08:42:19 AM
Quote from: E.O.T. on November 18, 2010, 05:22:05 AM


UNLESS

          one is in extremely bad health, piss is better for consumption than mountain dew

Seriously.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: geekdad on November 18, 2010, 08:46:01 AM
Hail fellow redditors... this is awkward. I come here to get away from reddit.. lol.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 18, 2010, 12:26:20 PM
I call bullshit. There's no way that would stand up in court, presuming that Brian had stolen the bottle from Todd's bag.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 18, 2010, 12:35:53 PM
Also, Lys, WTF is with your constant America-bashing when the only meaningful difference between our country and yours is that yours has better weather and nicer beaches? I'm amused that you act as if this couldn't happen in Australia. :lulz:
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Lies on November 18, 2010, 12:38:55 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 18, 2010, 12:35:53 PM
Also, Lys, WTF is with your constant America-bashing when the only meaningful difference between our country and yours is that yours has better weather and nicer beaches? I'm amused that you act as if this couldn't happen in Australia. :lulz:

You forget Australia IS a part of the America, we're the USA, United states of Australia, the little brother of big brother, everywhere you go, we follow.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 18, 2010, 12:48:34 PM
I wish that were true in the de jure sense, not just de facto.

Then I wouldn't need a visa to move there.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Thurnez Isa on November 18, 2010, 12:56:43 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on November 18, 2010, 05:22:05 AM


UNLESS

         one is in extremely bad health, piss is better for consumption than mountain dew

Piss is sterile... mountain dew is corn syrup






my question would.
Would Brian even notice the difference?
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Suu on November 18, 2010, 01:13:46 PM
"Stop the bullying!"

"Stand up for yourself!"


This irks me. That little fucker deserves it. Of course, I would have castrated him after the FIRST time he drank my soda.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Richter on November 18, 2010, 01:25:29 PM
School staff can't prevent bullying.  Not fucking headline news.  Sucks, but better than having the adults bail out every interpersonal scuffle.  The school should deal with it though.  They've pretty much proven themselves both unable to care for their charges AND unwilling to apply dsicipline.  If any other child care organization admited this, they be shut down.

How are they proving this all went down anyways?  Beyond statement vs. statement, establishing the presence and the source of the urine is only going to be done by retaining the original pissbottle.  (OH PLEASE let them not have the foresight to refridgerate it!)
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: hooplala on November 18, 2010, 02:30:04 PM
Well, whether or not he is busted by the courts for it (and my unqualified opinion is that he should not), Todd can live with the sweet satisfaction of knowing he got Brian to drink piss.  Forever. 

Revenge is a dish best served salty, sterile, wet and warm.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Cramulus on November 18, 2010, 02:52:14 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 18, 2010, 02:30:04 PM
Revenge is a dish best served salty, sterile, wet and warm.

:lulz: newsfeed
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
I don't see where this has been in the news or whatever...this is like a fictional story at this point.  It's hit the internet at top speed, but only on places like boingboing and fark.  And it all leads back to the original reddit post.  So...yeah..."citation needed." 

Because here's the thing:  zero-tolerance for bullying is actually the name of the game these days.  School shootings are sometimes the result, and we all know how well school districts LOVE those.  So...unless I see where this is taking place and with what school district/community, I'm calling bullshit.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 03:44:17 PM
Because bullies never take responsibility for their own actions, preferring to rely on the "he made me do it!" and the "she was asking for it!" rationale, odds are that "Brian" didn't frame his complaint as "I stole Todd's Mountain Dew and drank it but it turned out it was piss", but rather as "Todd pulled a mean prank on me by giving me a Mountain Dew bottle filled with piss".

Also, for the record, I'm calling urban legend on this whole story right now.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 03:45:11 PM
Quote from: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
I don't see where this has been in the news or whatever...this is like a fictional story at this point.  It's hit the internet at top speed, but only on places like boingboing and fark.  And it all leads back to the original reddit post.  So...yeah..."citation needed." 

Because here's the thing:  zero-tolerance for bullying is actually the name of the game these days.  School shootings are sometimes the result, and we all know how well school districts LOVE those.  So...unless I see where this is taking place and with what school district/community, I'm calling bullshit.

Right on Jenne! I didn't see your post before I wrote mine. I'm thinking the same thing.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 04:04:12 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 18, 2010, 03:45:11 PM
Quote from: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
I don't see where this has been in the news or whatever...this is like a fictional story at this point.  It's hit the internet at top speed, but only on places like boingboing and fark.  And it all leads back to the original reddit post.  So...yeah..."citation needed." 

Because here's the thing:  zero-tolerance for bullying is actually the name of the game these days.  School shootings are sometimes the result, and we all know how well school districts LOVE those.  So...unless I see where this is taking place and with what school district/community, I'm calling bullshit.

Right on Jenne! I didn't see your post before I wrote mine. I'm thinking the same thing.

Ha!  I know--I'm wondering if snopes.com even investigates shit like this anymore...
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 04:06:15 PM
Quote from: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 04:04:12 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 18, 2010, 03:45:11 PM
Quote from: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
I don't see where this has been in the news or whatever...this is like a fictional story at this point.  It's hit the internet at top speed, but only on places like boingboing and fark.  And it all leads back to the original reddit post.  So...yeah..."citation needed." 

Because here's the thing:  zero-tolerance for bullying is actually the name of the game these days.  School shootings are sometimes the result, and we all know how well school districts LOVE those.  So...unless I see where this is taking place and with what school district/community, I'm calling bullshit.

Right on Jenne! I didn't see your post before I wrote mine. I'm thinking the same thing.

Ha!  I know--I'm wondering if snopes.com even investigates shit like this anymore...

I hardly see anything besides 15-year-old email forwards on Snopes anymore.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Thurnez Isa on November 18, 2010, 04:26:17 PM
Quote from: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
I don't see where this has been in the news or whatever...this is like a fictional story at this point.  It's hit the internet at top speed, but only on places like boingboing and fark.  And it all leads back to the original reddit post.  So...yeah..."citation needed." 

Because here's the thing:  zero-tolerance for bullying is actually the name of the game these days.  School shootings are sometimes the result, and we all know how well school districts LOVE those.  So...unless I see where this is taking place and with what school district/community, I'm calling bullshit.

It's totally true.
I have a friend of a friend who's dog was once owned by the uncle of the boy in question
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Whatever on November 18, 2010, 04:31:21 PM
Well I've tried google with every combination I can think of and can't find a single article on this.  If it has truly gone to a kid having charges pressed and such, I'm thinking some news coverage would have been out there.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 04:31:36 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on November 18, 2010, 04:26:17 PM
Quote from: Jenne on November 18, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
I don't see where this has been in the news or whatever...this is like a fictional story at this point.  It's hit the internet at top speed, but only on places like boingboing and fark.  And it all leads back to the original reddit post.  So...yeah..."citation needed." 

Because here's the thing:  zero-tolerance for bullying is actually the name of the game these days.  School shootings are sometimes the result, and we all know how well school districts LOVE those.  So...unless I see where this is taking place and with what school district/community, I'm calling bullshit.

It's totally true.
I have a friend of a friend who's dog was once owned by the uncle of the boy in question

:lulz:
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 04:32:43 PM
Nice try, Reddit user! But the internet declares your story FAKE and GAY.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: hooplala on November 18, 2010, 05:12:38 PM
I'm happy its bogus.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 18, 2010, 07:33:59 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 18, 2010, 12:26:20 PM
I call bullshit. There's no way that would stand up in court, presuming that Brian had stolen the bottle from Todd's bag.

called it in the 7th post ITT.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Cramulus on November 18, 2010, 08:27:38 PM
very similar to that ancient egyptian story

about the thief who injures himself while breaking into somebody's house
and sues the homeowner


and as the audience we're supposed to go
AHHH OUR FORM OF JUSTICE IS ACTUALLY UNJUST
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 08:38:35 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 18, 2010, 07:33:59 PM
Quote from: First City Hustle on November 18, 2010, 12:26:20 PM
I call bullshit. There's no way that would stand up in court, presuming that Brian had stolen the bottle from Todd's bag.

called it in the 7th post ITT.

Shit, I missed it. ECH wins thread!
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 08:40:04 PM
Also, must point out that nowhere in the original story does it say WHERE alleged incident was supposed to have taken place. I guess we're all just supposed to assume it was in the US because herp derp.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 18, 2010, 10:27:28 PM
No, Nigel. Only Americans do horribly stupid and unjust things. The rest of the world is a shining beacon of reason and enlightenment.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Thurnez Isa on November 18, 2010, 10:33:51 PM
I figure it's only Americans that are willing to drink Mountain Dew
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Thurnez Isa on November 18, 2010, 10:34:58 PM
Im just kidding of course

:D
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Suu on November 18, 2010, 10:53:12 PM
It gives me urinary tract infections.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 18, 2010, 11:18:23 PM
I actually just think it's fucking disgusting. What the hell flavor IS that, anyway?

I always assumed it was a drink only Americans would stomach, but then I heard somewhere that it's like the third or fourth most popular soda in Syria.  :?
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Rumckle on November 18, 2010, 11:20:26 PM
Eh, when I was younger I used to drink it, but these days I don't really drink soft drink at all.

I think it just supposed to be sugar flavour.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Lies on November 19, 2010, 12:50:46 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on November 18, 2010, 11:20:26 PM
Eh, when I was younger I used to drink it, but these days I don't really drink soft drink at all.

I think it just supposed to be sugar flavour.
This
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Triple Zero on November 19, 2010, 12:03:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 18, 2010, 10:53:12 PM
It gives me urinary tract infections.

Perhaps try a different orifice?
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: hooplala on November 19, 2010, 02:16:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 18, 2010, 11:18:23 PM
I actually just think it's fucking disgusting. What the hell flavor IS that, anyway?

I always assumed it was a drink only Americans would stomach, but then I heard somewhere that it's like the third or fourth most popular soda in Syria.  :?

It's disgusting, but still mildly more palatable than the insult that is Irn-Bru.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: AFK on November 19, 2010, 02:40:09 PM
I hear it is magically delicious when you mix it with Four Loko. 
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: East Coast Hustle on November 19, 2010, 05:04:11 PM
EVERYTHING is magically delicious when you mix it with Four Loko.

especially cheap cocaine and unprotected sex with street hookers.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Suu on November 19, 2010, 05:23:04 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 19, 2010, 12:03:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 18, 2010, 10:53:12 PM
It gives me urinary tract infections.

Perhaps try a different orifice?

It's the yellow 5 dye they use. There's something in that stuff that pisses off my bladder and gives me cystitis. PISS LIKE BURNING.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Suu on November 19, 2010, 05:23:50 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 19, 2010, 02:16:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 18, 2010, 11:18:23 PM
I actually just think it's fucking disgusting. What the hell flavor IS that, anyway?

I always assumed it was a drink only Americans would stomach, but then I heard somewhere that it's like the third or fourth most popular soda in Syria.  :?

It's disgusting, but still mildly more palatable than the insult that is Irn-Bru.

No way, Irn-Bru is better. Shit, even DIET Irn-Bru is better.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Triple Zero on November 21, 2010, 12:21:51 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 19, 2010, 02:16:56 PM
It's disgusting, but still mildly more palatable than the insult that is Irn-Bru.

IRN BRU IS FUCKING AWESOME     :argh!:
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Dysnomia on November 21, 2010, 03:03:36 AM
Ammericka is the best country in the world, that is why millions of people from all over the world flock here to immigrate every day.



Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on November 21, 2010, 03:10:19 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 21, 2010, 12:21:51 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 19, 2010, 02:16:56 PM
It's disgusting, but still mildly more palatable than the insult that is Irn-Bru.

IRN BRU IS FUCKING AWESOME    :argh!:

I have no idea what these Urn-Brews are but, everyone should have League Gothic because IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!

:fap:
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 21, 2010, 03:29:44 AM
Quote from: SARAH PALIN on November 21, 2010, 03:03:36 AM
Ammericka is the best country in the world, that is why millions of people from all over the world flock here to immigrate every day.





And then we shoot the brown ones... it's amazing, how awesome Amerikkka is.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Dysnomia on November 21, 2010, 03:36:51 AM
lets not forget the commies, after we lock up the yellow ones. 
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Triple Zero on November 21, 2010, 03:12:55 PM
Quote from: ☄ · · · N E T · · · ☄ on November 21, 2010, 03:10:19 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 21, 2010, 12:21:51 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on November 19, 2010, 02:16:56 PM
It's disgusting, but still mildly more palatable than the insult that is Irn-Bru.

IRN BRU IS FUCKING AWESOME    :argh!:

I have no idea what these Urn-Brews are but, everyone should have League Gothic because IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!

:fap:

You're right! And you're welcome :) I added a bunch of free web-fonts to the forum's stylesheet cause a lot of modern browsers support custom @font-family declarations now:

[font=LeagueGothic]

(font=Chunk) (mmm this one doesn't have square brackets :oops:)

[font=Sniglet]


They all came from http://www.theleagueofmoveabletype.com/
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Telarus on November 21, 2010, 10:30:51 PM
:mittens:
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Cramulus on January 05, 2011, 02:52:09 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 21, 2010, 03:12:55 PM
You're right! And you're welcome :) I added a bunch of free web-fonts to the forum's stylesheet cause a lot of modern browsers support custom @font-family declarations now:

[font=LeagueGothic]

(font=Chunk) (mmm this one doesn't have square brackets :oops:)

[font=Sniglet]


They all came from http://www.theleagueofmoveabletype.com/

I keep coming back to find this post! Are there other fonts like this installed?
Somewhere in the meta forum there should be a thread with an example of all the fonts.
Title: Re: America is so awesome
Post by: Triple Zero on January 10, 2011, 01:21:08 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 05, 2011, 02:52:09 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on November 21, 2010, 03:12:55 PM
You're right! And you're welcome :) I added a bunch of free web-fonts to the forum's stylesheet cause a lot of modern browsers support custom @font-family declarations now:

[font=LeagueGothic]

(font=Chunk) (mmm this one doesn't have square brackets :oops:)

[font=Sniglet]


They all came from http://www.theleagueofmoveabletype.com/

I keep coming back to find this post! Are there other fonts like this installed?
Somewhere in the meta forum there should be a thread with an example of all the fonts.

No I just uploaded those three, cause I liked them so much, and they were among the first pretty good free web fonts I came across.

x-posted in meta forum