Just got back from my 10 year high school reunion. Here are some of the ridiculous things I told people, with a straight face.
#1: I teach game design classes for homeless people.
A few people asked what kinds of games homeless people design. I told them that this is a really exciting year for homeless people games. They've got this thing that they do right now when they're standing in a circle with an empty can of beans and a campfire. Oh god. You don't even want to know. It's awesome.
#2: I run a dating website for dogs.
#3: I'm involved in unregulated cat shows.
The problem with regular cat shows is that (a) they're rigged and (b) they're regulated. I made 15K last week betting on this beautiful Persian named Princess. They dress her up in a frog outfit and she melts your heart. I could never win that big in a normal cat show. It's not even my cat!
#4: I perform psychiatric evaluations on animals.
No, not for a zoo or vet or anything. Just a hobby. You know, just like in the park or whatever. Sometimes I see a squirrel or a pigeon and within minutes I know it's retarded.
#5: I'm a lobbyist for robot rights.
We're not actually robot funded. No, we're primarily funded by perverts.
#6: I'm a customer service rep at a sea monkey farm.
Actually it's really sad. I deal with crying kids pretty much all day.
#7: I teach business classes at the pottery barn.
#8: I teach pre-law classes at Pier 1.
No not officially or anything. Just to anyone who will listen.
#9: I'm a sex therapist for pre-teens.
#10: I started four cults this month.*
*not actually a lie
:mittens:
This inspires me to lie about my job at every opportunity.
:lulz:
I need to do this shit more often.
Hahahaha
ITT Cramulus identifies the only good reason to go to any reunion, ever.
Fucking hysterical, Cram. :lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on November 27, 2010, 06:53:35 AM
#3: I'm involved in unregulated cat shows.
The problem with regular cat shows is that (a) they're rigged and (b) they're regulated. I made 15K last week betting on this beautiful Persian named Princess. They dress her up in a frog outfit and she melts your heart. I could never win that big in a normal cat show. It's not even my cat!
still laughing
:lol:
What kind of responses did you get, Cramulus?
Ok, that is amazing and brilliant! :mittens:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 27, 2010, 08:37:29 PM
What kind of responses did you get, Cramulus?
most people laughed
a few people asked if I was serious. After I elaborated a bit, it became apparent that I was not.
a few people were just making conversation and didn't have much to say about it other than, "that's cool!" - In those cases I didn't go out of my way to fill them in.
Sounds like a blast.
Quote from: geekdad on November 27, 2010, 03:53:25 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 27, 2010, 06:53:35 AM
#3: I'm involved in unregulated cat shows.
The problem with regular cat shows is that (a) they're rigged and (b) they're regulated. I made 15K last week betting on this beautiful Persian named Princess. They dress her up in a frog outfit and she melts your heart. I could never win that big in a normal cat show. It's not even my cat!
still laughing
Laugh now, but I'm going to do this for real and I'm going to be filthy fucking rich.
I once said that I was in the traveling circus now
:fap: :fap: :fap:
Quote from: Rizzo on November 29, 2010, 08:22:52 AM
I once said that I was in the traveling circus now
:fap: :fap: :fap:
this post makes no sense.