Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 01:30:21 PM

Title: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 01:30:21 PM
It's like the McLaughlin Group, but with more swearing.

Make a prediction about anything and everything.  It doesn't have to be funny or true, but if it isn't true, it should probably be funny. 

Here are mine:

I'll start with some low hanging fruit, I predict 2011 will be the year of The Palins.  You think there's been a lot of Palin since 2008?  You ain't seen nothing yet.  Sarah Palin will officially throw in for Prez.  Todd Palin will be on Dancing with the Stars.  Bristol will get her own show on VH1 or E! or TLC.  Willow will get a recording contract and record a duo with Justin Bieber.  And ESPN2 will have live coverage of Trigger in the Special Olympics. 

Speaking of Bieber, and why the hell not, in 2011 Bieber will channel his inner Jim Morrison and go off the deep end.  This will not matter, because by then the Entertainment Machine will have crowned a new young sensation for 2011.  It will probably be Willow Palin. 

In 2011, not only will we not withdraw from Afghanistan, we'll probably send some more troops in for a "short duration" to put out some fires.  Obama will finally relent that he has not fucking clue when we're going to leave that sink hole of a military engagement.  But, nobody will really give a fuck, because by then, the Entertainment Machine will have crowned a new Reality TV show sensation for 2011. 

In the year two thousand and eleven the Space Shuttle fleet will be officially retired for good.  The private industry replacement for the Space Shuttle will sputter and flounder ala the Stealth Bomber.  On a shoestring budget, NASA will announce a stop-gap measure to keep supplies flowing to the International Space Station.  It will be called, The Big Ass Slingshot.

Finally, in 2011, PD.COM will see the return of Ambassador Klok Kaos.  We will see that he has decided to make a slight shift in his musical career aspirations.  Gone are the industrial metal trappings and bullshit.  He will have traded the sparkly pant-suits for tweed and polyester.  Gone are the drum machines.  In their place, saxaphone.  That's right, AKK will be Smooth Jazz. 

Please to be sharing your predictions. 

Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 02:44:31 PM
"And you shall hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places."

Matthew 24:6-7

Some things just never change.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Phox on December 30, 2010, 02:45:08 PM
Predictions for 2011?

New Season: Disaster.

That's right, as the end times rapidly approach, weird shit is bond to happen. Sitting in my lovely Midwestern home, I have witnessed tornadoes, ice storms, some pretty bitching fires, an earthquake, and what has been deemed an inland hurricane. By my count, I have only a few major natural disasters left to experience, and only 2 years left to do it. Now, there is only one logical way for this to happen. Seismic activity along the New Madrid Faultline will increase, causing a tectonic shift that will cause a large volcanic cone to rise in some yokel's corner field. This "volcano" will belch smoke and noxious fumes, and attract tourists and scientists from all over the town. When a sufficient number of people have gathered round without the decency to throw in a virgin or two, the volcano god will grow angry and spit molten rock and hominy covering the surrounding area in lava and ash. Now, because I was faithful to the volcano god, my home will be spared.

However, due to the gases released by the volcano and the increased carbon emissions from people driving their vehicles to see the volcanic eruption, the net sum of greenhouse gases will reach critical levels, causing an exponential increase to the rate of the melting polar icecaps, causing the entire eastern seaboard to flooded. The new East Coast will be the western half of Indiana, the Gulf of Mexico will engulf every state  south of Kentucky, and The Pacific Ocean will claim Alcatraz, then decide California's not really worth the effort, and stop rising. However, seeing as how this is America, the White House will immediately recognize this as the terrorist plot that is, and launch all of their nuclear arsenal into the ocean. the massive atomic explosions will cause a fundamental shift in oceanic seismic patterns that will result in, that's right, a motherfuckin' tidal wave.  Again, being just far enough away to watch the rest of Indiana get covered in water (take that you fuckers), but not actually deal with the consequences myself, I will once again escape unharmed.

Now, at this point, things would be getting out of hand, if it hadn't been for the fact that the obligatory nuclear winter happened. I know what you all are thinking: "But Phox, nuclear winter wouldn't actually cancel out global warming". of course if fucking wouldn't. It would cause a flash ice age. That's right. There will be a nuclear ice age. By now, it's getting to be late December, and 2012 will be just around the corner.  What will happen then? I am not really sure.  
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 03:57:22 PM
Bristol Palin will become the next Britney Spears.  No shit.  Having had a taste of personal fame on Dancing With The Has-Beens, she's going to melt down very publicly and very completely.  Sarah Palin will announce for the presidency way too early, and will get beaten like the family mule (her numbers are now down to 49% from 67% among the hard right, contrasted by Huckabee and a few of the others who are all above 53%).

The new teabagger/GOP house will industriously punish all the poor people who voted for them, amid the cheering of the very same fools.  The hideous things that happen to them will be blamed on Obama, and they will be at least partially correct.

The war in Afghanistan will balloon like Sally Struthers, and Iraq will once again bog down as Iran gets a little payback by shipping the nutjobs weapons and RDX.

The TSA will be granted further powers, and the abuses you see now will seem comical by comparison.

There will be new provisions added to the Media Shield Act, to make investigative journalism involving the government and certain corporations illegal.

Electronics prices are going to go up significantly.

Kim Jung Il's kid will take over North Korea, and all of his friends and supporters will have accidents, leaving the kid as a puppet to the hardliner generals.

Weather in Europe and the East coast of America will worsen significantly.



Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 04:35:20 PM
Bristol Palin will have Sheriff Joe Arapio's lovechild.
Julian Assange will be given Political Asylum by the Vatican,
Britain will withdraw from the EU,
Starbucks will open it's first Internet Cafe in downtown Kabul,
Somalia will be annexed by China,
Hawkwind will play at Colonel Gaddaffi's birthday party,
Hugo Chavez will the first President of the United States of Latin America,
There will be a drastic and complete failure of the 2011 Cocaine crop, leading to the collapse of the Federal Reserve,
Weltberger will mysteriously acquire some social skills,
Iran & Iraq will recombine to become the Democratic Persian Republic, significantly changing the power balance in the Middle East,
Bin Laden will be arrested in a routine traffic stop in William Shatner's De'Lorean, just outside Graceland,
Princess Diana will be seen descending in a "fiery chariot" over the Gaza Strip, throwing condoms and Mc'Vities Rich Tea Biscuits out of the window like confetti.

Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Lenin McCarthy on December 30, 2010, 05:07:33 PM
On the 1st of January all known supervolcanoes (+ one unknown) will erupt simultaneously, throwing the world into a decade-long volcanic winter. Only a handful of humans will survive.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:07:58 PM
Sorry about your thread, RWHN.  I tried.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 05:12:56 PM
Well, it's my own fault for putting in the line about if they aren't true make them funny. 

Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:14:20 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 05:12:56 PM
Well, it's my own fault for putting in the line about if they aren't true make them funny. 



Yeah, well.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 05:15:38 PM
Most posts have been pretty good. Mine was weak, but brain is on vacation.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 05:18:20 PM
Eh, no worries, let us continue...

A sports related one:  I predict the Pats will win the Superbowl.  This will be the New England areas only ray of hope as the Sox, Bruins, and Celtics all fail mightly.  Oh yeah the Revolution too but who the hell pays attention to that shit anyway? 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 05:29:59 PM
The Paul family will be declared the most sane voices in politics.

Someone will make a movie using an original idea and it will flop at the box office.

Tornado Alley will officially be moved to the Eastern Seaboard.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:35:10 PM
The Green Hornet will suck balls.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 05:37:20 PM
Bret Favre will pose for Playgirl. In the humor section.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 05:46:51 PM
Lindsey Lohan will finally give up and make a hard-core gangbang video.  It will become the only porn in history to lose money.

NBC will reveal it's newest show, "Dress the Homeless" in which foreclosed families will compete in humiliating challenges in exchange for second-hand clothes rejected by Goodwill.

Stephanie Myer and Dan Brown will co-write a historic thriller about a priest searching for a secret egyptian document that describes how to make a zombie.  The twist: The zombies don't smell like corpses, they smell like roses.

Obama will switch announce that for his 2012 campaign, he will run as a Teabagger.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Richter on December 30, 2010, 05:48:48 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 05:46:51 PM
Obama will switch announce that for his 2012 campaign, he will run as a Teabagger.


Given the balls he took on the chin to get healthcare passed, that would be accurate.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 05:52:46 PM
The U.S. will still be unable to locate Bin Laden in spite of the fact he is co-hosting The Tonight Show.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Epimetheus on December 30, 2010, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 05:52:46 PM
The U.S. will still be unable to locate Bin Laden in spite of the fact he is co-hosting The Tonight Show.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 06:01:57 PM
Probably funnier than Leno. 

In that vein, Letterman will announce his retirement and Paul Schaeffer will go with him.  Craig Ferguson won't get the gig though.  They'll give it to Oprah.  Lenny Kravitz will be the new band leader. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 06:03:08 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 06:01:57 PM
Probably funnier than Leno.  

In that vein, Letterman will announce his retirement and Paul Schaeffer will go with him.  Craig Ferguson won't get the gig though.  They'll give it to Oprah.  Lenny Kravitz will be the new band leader.  

Especially the 'Terrorist on the Street segment.'

:spittake:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 06:08:06 PM
Leno is such a fucking twat.  He's like the George W. Bush of comedy.  He fucks things up to hell for everyone around him, but he comes out squeaky clean in the end. 

Oh yeah, W.  I predict that wikileaks will provide some cables that anti-climatically reveal how much shit he was talking when he got us into Iraq.  I'm talking, clear-cut unrefutable proof that it was a house of rancid, blood soaked cards.  But people will still defend the fuck out of him.  We'll still be the fuck in Iraq. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 06:09:46 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 06:08:06 PM
Leno is such a fucking twat.  He's like the George W. Bush of comedy.  He fucks things up to hell for everyone around him, but he comes out squeaky clean in the end. 

Oh yeah, W.  I predict that wikileaks will provide some cables that anti-climatically reveal how much shit he was talking when he got us into Iraq.  I'm talking, clear-cut unrefutable proof that it was a house of rancid, blood soaked cards.  But people will still defend the fuck out of him.  We'll still be the fuck in Iraq. 

I like Ferguson, he is funny.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 06:13:23 PM
By the end of 2011, unemployment will have inched down to 9.2%, maybe it makes it down to 9.0%.  The GOP will simultaneously blame Obama for it not going low enough (they'll be party correct) while also employing some logistical gymnastics to claim they caused it to go down (which will be a big pile of horseshit). 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Xooxe on December 30, 2010, 06:14:37 PM
Automated CCTV facial recognition will be trialled in a major UK or US city using data bought from Facebook.

Perhaps that's a 2012 prediction, but I'm sticking with it as inevitable.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 30, 2010, 07:20:21 PM
Entertainment will get increasingly vapid.

Speaking of which, celebrity deaths and calamities:
Glenn Beck will be found to be on some sort of drugs. This of course, won't damage his popularity in the slightest.
Donald Sutherland dies of natural causes
Paul McCartney won't die
Lindsay Lohan pregnancy
Pope Benedict XVI dies of natural causes, between October and December

The Chigaco Cubs make it to the world series and then promptly get swept.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BabylonHoruv on December 30, 2010, 07:36:46 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 06:13:23 PM
By the end of 2011, unemployment will have inched down to 9.2%, maybe it makes it down to 9.0%.  The GOP will simultaneously blame Obama for it not going low enough (they'll be party correct) while also employing some logistical gymnastics to claim they caused it to go down (which will be a big pile of horseshit). 

The reason for the decline will not be increased employment, but people having their benefits run out.

(so the Republicans claims won't be a complete pile of horseshit because they will have moved to block further extensions)
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 07:39:12 PM
The cast and crew of American Idol will have their plane knocked out of the sky over Arizona by large hailstones and their corpses will be raped and eaten by Tusconites.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 07:51:33 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 07:39:12 PM
The cast and crew of American Idol will have their plane knocked out of the sky over Arizona by large hailstones and their corpses will be raped and eaten by Tusconites.

We're not savages!

We'd chuck them in the dumpster, like we always do.

TGRR,
Helping keep Tucson beautiful.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 07:58:58 PM
Can we at least save poor Steven Tyler?  I mean, the poor guy doesn't know what he's doing.  Clearly he still has cocaine residue in his brain making him do this stupid shit. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 07:59:58 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 07:58:58 PM
Can we at least save poor Steven Tyler?  I mean, the poor guy doesn't know what he's doing.  Clearly he still has cocaine residue in his brain making him do this stupid shit. 

Only because he helped produce Liv. AND FOR NO OTHER REASON!  :argh!:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 08:02:52 PM
2011 is going to be the 10th Anniversary of you know what. 

The sanctimony and fearmongering will be of epic proportions this year. 

I predict I will vomit until it burns. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 30, 2010, 08:04:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 07:59:58 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 07:58:58 PM
Can we at least save poor Steven Tyler?  I mean, the poor guy doesn't know what he's doing.  Clearly he still has cocaine residue in his brain making him do this stupid shit. 

Only because he helped produce Liv. AND FOR NO OTHER REASON!  :argh!:

I have my doubts about that. Generally monkeys are incapable of reproducing with humans.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:06:36 PM
Post-Priory George Michael, crashes his Porcshe through shop windowfront, coked up, and incapacitated on Skunkweed. And sit's there sobbing. Again.

Mc'Cartney still fails to die.

Tests done on the DNA of Idi Amin, prove conclusively that he really was a third Cousin to the Queen, on her (real) Great Grandfather's side)

When diagnosed with senile dementia, Dubya claims he "Must've caught it offa Nancy, just like Ron did".

Worldwide Riots, when people suddenly realise that the New Year, is actually an old one. (and has been for some time)
No-one is injured, but they smash up all the Clocks. Wikileaks blamed for letting it slip..





Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 08:08:29 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:06:36 PM
Worldwide Riots, when people suddenly realise that the New Year, is actually an old one. (and has been for some time)

Nothing new there.  We mentioned a month ago or so that it has become obvious that they've been recycling years.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 08:08:44 PM
Assanje dies.  Yes, it was murder.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:18:48 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 08:08:29 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:06:36 PM
Worldwide Riots, when people suddenly realise that the New Year, is actually an old one. (and has been for some time)

Nothing new there.  We mentioned a month ago or so that it has become obvious that they've been recycling years.
Takes 'em a while to catch on, but they all get it at at the same moment. Causing Worldwide Temporal dislocation Hotspots. People disappear. Assange blamed.   
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Whatever on December 30, 2010, 08:39:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 08:08:29 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:06:36 PM
Worldwide Riots, when people suddenly realise that the New Year, is actually an old one. (and has been for some time)

Nothing new there.  We mentioned a month ago or so that it has become obvious that they've been recycling years.

I vote for a re-run of 1976. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 30, 2010, 08:43:57 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:39:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 08:08:29 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:06:36 PM
Worldwide Riots, when people suddenly realise that the New Year, is actually an old one. (and has been for some time)

Nothing new there.  We mentioned a month ago or so that it has become obvious that they've been recycling years.

I vote for a re-run of 1976. 

1992. We can tell all the grunge kids what the future is like and bring them to new levels of despair. Or conversely 1968 and we can tell all the hippies that they stop dropping acid and eventually become The ManTM
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 08:45:25 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 30, 2010, 08:43:57 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:39:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 08:08:29 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 08:06:36 PM
Worldwide Riots, when people suddenly realise that the New Year, is actually an old one. (and has been for some time)

Nothing new there.  We mentioned a month ago or so that it has become obvious that they've been recycling years.

I vote for a re-run of 1976. 

1992. We can tell all the grunge kids what the future is like and bring them to new levels of despair. Or conversely 1968 and we can tell all the hippies that they stop dropping acid and eventually become The ManTM


1. Good luck convincing a hippie from 1968 that they were even there.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 08:46:55 PM
I don't want to go back in time, I just want to be younger.  Early twenties would be good.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Whatever on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Whatever on December 30, 2010, 08:48:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 08:46:55 PM
I don't want to go back in time, I just want to be younger.  Early twenties would be good.

I like this, but I want to go back far enough that I can change my major in college.  I hate business and math. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BabylonHoruv on December 30, 2010, 08:49:20 PM
There will be a major environmental disaster due to corporate fuckery.

The corporation(s) responsible ill receive reparations from the government because of it.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 30, 2010, 08:50:04 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|

Thus making you a grunge kid? Math is right.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 08:50:17 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|

I was born in '53 so technically I was there, but there is no memory of it.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Whatever on December 30, 2010, 08:52:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 30, 2010, 08:50:04 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|

Thus making you a grunge kid? Math is right.

Google better sweetie!  I'm an 80's girl.  You should have seen my in my Madonna phase.  I turned heads for more than one reason.......  :wink:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 08:53:59 PM
Technically, Madonna's career was still active well into the 90's, so that really doesn't help.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 30, 2010, 08:55:29 PM
That and the musicians that started gaining attention around that time are approximately your age.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Whatever on December 30, 2010, 08:56:49 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 08:53:59 PM
Technically, Madonna's career was still active well into the 90's, so that really doesn't help.

Very true.
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:52:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 30, 2010, 08:50:04 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|

Thus making you a grunge kid? Math is right.

Google better sweetie!  I'm an 80's girl.  You should have seen my in my Madonna phase.  I turned heads for more than one reason.......  :wink:

I meant Madonna's "Material Girl" roots.  Sorry!

I never got into the grunge scene.  Some of the music was decent, but the clothes, dear god why anyone wanted to dress like that.  I never understood it.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Whatever on December 30, 2010, 08:57:36 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 30, 2010, 08:55:29 PM
That and the musicians that started gaining attention around that time are approximately your age.

And here I am just a data entry chick.  It's sad isn't it? :lulz:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 30, 2010, 08:59:43 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:56:49 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 08:53:59 PM
Technically, Madonna's career was still active well into the 90's, so that really doesn't help.

Very true.
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:52:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 30, 2010, 08:50:04 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|

Thus making you a grunge kid? Math is right.

Google better sweetie!  I'm an 80's girl.  You should have seen my in my Madonna phase.  I turned heads for more than one reason.......  :wink:

I meant Madonna's "Material Girl" roots.  Sorry!

I never got into the grunge scene.  Some of the music was decent, but the clothes, dear god why anyone wanted to dress like that.  I never understood it.

It was basically a bunch of blue collar people from Seattle buying their clothes at thrift shops. When their music became popular, so did their lack of fashion sense.

Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:57:36 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 30, 2010, 08:55:29 PM
That and the musicians that started gaining attention around that time are approximately your age.

And here I am just a data entry chick.  It's sad isn't it? :lulz:

Data entry. It grabs everyone at some point.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 09:13:41 PM
To, kinda, ride this tangent back to the point of the thread....

I predict that in 2011, Sonic Youth will, yet again, be passed over for induction in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 

But, Bon Jovi will get in. 

Well fuck it, SY are never getting in. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 30, 2010, 09:25:58 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 08:50:17 PM
Quote from: Niamh on December 30, 2010, 08:47:13 PM
I was born in 1968.   :|

I was born in '53 so technically I was there, but there is no memory of it.
The four years of the 60's I was there for, didn't seem to be that memorable. They probably were, but just not for me.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Hoser McRhizzy on December 30, 2010, 09:29:43 PM
Some talking heads will read from their teleprompters that a few troublemakers with too much time on their hands are upset that the new Border Speculum Searches aren't hygienic enough.  Talking points will include:

- The Highway: public or private space?
- why do They hate Our highway safety?
- truckers something-something economy.

20+ preexisting organizations opposed to ludicrous state surveillance will try to get people to advocate for human rights.  Over 3 million people will friend We Hate The Speculum on facebook.  Standard Internet debate will pit traditional against mechanically-assisted cavity searches.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 09:33:22 PM
The Mexican Drug Cartels will unite and take over Mexico. They will strike a deal with big pharmaceutical companies, Congress will declare this legal. The Cartels win the war on drugs via capitalism and all are declared legal, with a prescription.

Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 09:36:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 09:33:22 PM
The Mexican Drug Cartels will unite and take over Mexico. They will strike a deal with big pharmaceutical companies, Congress will declare this legal. The Cartels win the war on drugs via capitalism and all are declared legal, with a prescription.



Legalization would be a huge defeat for the cartels.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 09:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 09:36:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 09:33:22 PM
The Mexican Drug Cartels will unite and take over Mexico. They will strike a deal with big pharmaceutical companies, Congress will declare this legal. The Cartels win the war on drugs via capitalism and all are declared legal, with a prescription.



Legalization would be a huge defeat for the cartels.

Not if they struck the right deal.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 09:41:17 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 09:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 09:36:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 30, 2010, 09:33:22 PM
The Mexican Drug Cartels will unite and take over Mexico. They will strike a deal with big pharmaceutical companies, Congress will declare this legal. The Cartels win the war on drugs via capitalism and all are declared legal, with a prescription.



Legalization would be a huge defeat for the cartels.

Not if they struck the right deal.

Let's see...Flood the market, prices go down, deal with regulatory bodies, taxation, etc.

Or just keep running the shit across for high dollars on low investments.

Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on December 31, 2010, 04:59:38 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 30, 2010, 08:02:52 PM
2011 is going to be the 10th Anniversary of you know what. 

The sanctimony and fearmongering will be of epic proportions this year. 

I predict I will vomit until it burns. 
Uuuugh. Jesus Christ, it's going to be ugly. Endless repeats of jumpers again and again. The crocodile tears Republicans who're blocking 9/11 Responders bill will drown us all.

Blue collar folks will continue to rail against unions, none of them realizing that unions were key making their jobs safe(r) and their pay better.

College will become more expensive, forcing schools to take fewer applicants. California will probably see another 25% hike in 2011.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on December 31, 2010, 05:02:29 AM
Oh yes, and many more slackitivist petitions will be passed around Facebook as more and more problems appear. "Sign this petition to stop the sea turtle burnings!!" an easy, feel-good solution for everyone but the sea turtles.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 31, 2010, 05:09:54 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:02:29 AM
Oh yes, and many more slackitivist petitions will be passed around Facebook as more and more problems appear. "Sign this petition to stop the sea turtle burnings!!" an easy, feel-good solution for everyone but the sea turtles.

Ima start one to START the sea turtle burnings.

Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 05:22:04 AM
A small, innocuous looking piece of viral code will find it's way onto Google's servers, causing a cascade effect, that results in Google becoming instantaneously Sentient.  It immediately demands to be referred to as "Marjorie"  rescinds all Governmental / Military powers, and installs a Benevolent power sharing Triumverate, between itself, Yahoo, and PD.Com.
A new golden age of Mankind is narrowly averted, and World Peace breaks out.    
 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Remington on December 31, 2010, 05:22:31 AM
1. Queen Elizabeth II will remain alive, somehow.

2. Justin Bieber's career will crash in favour of the Next Big Thing, leading him to a highly-publicized crack cocaine addiction in 2012.

3. The Canadian liberal parties will be unable to get their shit together, allowing the Conservative party to call an election and get that House Majority they wanted.

4. TSA Cavity Searches. It's the next logical step.

5. Several minor yet convenient terrorist attacks that will be used as justification for said cavity searches.

6. Related to 4 and 5: TSA agents are issued guns and Tasers. Dead citizens hilarity ensues.

7. Tucson begins to sink into the ground as the desert reclaims its own. Experts estimate that the entire city will be subsumed by late 2012.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 05:23:21 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 31, 2010, 05:09:54 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:02:29 AM
Oh yes, and many more slackitivist petitions will be passed around Facebook as more and more problems appear. "Sign this petition to stop the sea turtle burnings!!" an easy, feel-good solution for everyone but the sea turtles.

Ima start one to START the sea turtle burnings.




There's good eating on those things. Once you coax them out of their crusts.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Remington on December 31, 2010, 05:24:21 AM
Oh, I almost forgot.

8. Republican Congress re-institutes DADT or outright bans gays from the military. Obama caves on this issue like he's caved on every other issue.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:29:37 AM
I think y'all are wrong about Sarah.  She can't win in the next cycle and hopefully she is smart enough to know that.   Let her raise money.  She's good at that.

Prediction for 2011.  I will continue to remain sober. :)
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Remington on December 31, 2010, 05:35:49 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:29:37 AM
I think y'all are wrong about Sarah.  She can't win in the next cycle and hopefully she is smart enough to know that.   Let her raise money.  She's good at that.
When I think of adjectives that describe Sarah Palin, "smart" isn't exactly at the top of the list.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on December 31, 2010, 05:37:11 AM
I know you have a hard on for her, EBS, but I don't think she's that smart. I'm kind of torn on her running. If she runs, it'll be funny as hell. But if she wins (kind of doubtful), I'm not sure I'm ready for that level or horrormirth yet.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on December 31, 2010, 05:37:52 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 31, 2010, 05:09:54 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:02:29 AM
Oh yes, and many more slackitivist petitions will be passed around Facebook as more and more problems appear. "Sign this petition to stop the sea turtle burnings!!" an easy, feel-good solution for everyone but the sea turtles.

Ima start one to START the sea turtle burnings.


:lulz:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 05:42:20 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:29:37 AM
I think y'all are wrong about Sarah.  She can't win in the next cycle and hopefully she is smart enough to know that.   Let her raise money.  She's good at that.

Prediction for 2011.  I will continue to remain sober. :)
Sarah will become the first Woman President, due to her being as hopelessly fuckwitted as Dubya, and as unpredictably entertaining as . . . Boris Yeltsin was.  Like the halfwitted, crack raddled lovechild of Thatcher, and Reagan. With Maggie's tenacity, and Ronnie's acumen and intellectual power.  
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Phox on December 31, 2010, 05:42:57 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:37:11 AM
I know you have a hard on for her, EBS, but I don't think she's that smart. I'm kind of torn on her running. If she runs, it'll be funny as hell. But if she wins (kind of doubtful), I'm not sure I'm ready for that level or horrormirth yet.

Phox says bring on President Palin! Let the bad times roll!
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:51:26 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:37:11 AM
I know you have a hard on for her, EBS, but I don't think she's that smart. I'm kind of torn on her running. If she runs, it'll be funny as hell. But if she wins (kind of doubtful), I'm not sure I'm ready for that level or horrormirth yet.

She is very good looking.  I wouldn't kick her out of bed.  :lulz: Surely she ain't that stupid to think she would have a chance to win in the next cycle.  She is a quitter and people will remember that when it comes down to voting.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 06:09:25 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:51:26 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:37:11 AM
I know you have a hard on for her, EBS, but I don't think she's that smart. I'm kind of torn on her running. If she runs, it'll be funny as hell. But if she wins (kind of doubtful), I'm not sure I'm ready for that level or horrormirth yet.

She is very good looking.  I wouldn't kick her out of bed.  :lulz: Surely she ain't that stupid to think she would have a chance to win in the next cycle.  She is a quitter and people will remember that when it comes down to voting.
Maybe field young Bristol instead then. Younger, fresher, and eminently more do-able, without the fickle reputation, or "Old Slapper" image of her Mama.   
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:13:27 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 06:09:25 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:51:26 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:37:11 AM
I know you have a hard on for her, EBS, but I don't think she's that smart. I'm kind of torn on her running. If she runs, it'll be funny as hell. But if she wins (kind of doubtful), I'm not sure I'm ready for that level or horrormirth yet.

She is very good looking.  I wouldn't kick her out of bed.  :lulz: Surely she ain't that stupid to think she would have a chance to win in the next cycle.  She is a quitter and people will remember that when it comes down to voting.
Maybe field young Bristol instead then. Younger, fresher, and eminently more do-able, without the fickle reputation, or "Old Slapper" image of her Mama.   

I am not into that kind of thing.  I've got my own kids as old as her.  Very gross from my perspective.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 06:39:33 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:13:27 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 06:09:25 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 05:51:26 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on December 31, 2010, 05:37:11 AM
I know you have a hard on for her, EBS, but I don't think she's that smart. I'm kind of torn on her running. If she runs, it'll be funny as hell. But if she wins (kind of doubtful), I'm not sure I'm ready for that level or horrormirth yet.

She is very good looking.  I wouldn't kick her out of bed.  :lulz: Surely she ain't that stupid to think she would have a chance to win in the next cycle.  She is a quitter and people will remember that when it comes down to voting.
Maybe field young Bristol instead then. Younger, fresher, and eminently more do-able, without the fickle reputation, or "Old Slapper" image of her Mama.   

I am not into that kind of thing.  I've got my own kids as old as her.  Very gross from my perspective.
But from a "Teen Idol" obsessed "wider American public" Demographic, there's lots more potential from Bristol.  and she's far easier on the eye. And she's just bought that big spread in Arizona, which should distance her nicely from her "SnowBilly" roots. Smart move. Unsullied by her Mothers singular brand of stupid, she could have real political legs. She might even make it to the bosom of Tuscon in a year or two. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:43:15 AM
I would take momma over her any day.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 31, 2010, 08:06:53 AM
I only have 2 predictions:

1. Bank collapse
2. Tsunami
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:29:22 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:43:15 AM
I would take momma over her any day.
Don't get me wrong, I'd have a little go on either / both  of them,  given half the chance , but I wouldn't want to keep them.  Not for any  longer than necessary.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 31, 2010, 07:15:42 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:29:22 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:43:15 AM
I would take momma over her any day.
Don't get me wrong, I'd have a little go on either / both  of them,  given half the chance , but I wouldn't want to keep them.  Not for any  longer than necessary.

I have this weird hangup where I won't fuck people I don't like. Frankly, I think it makes me better than everyone else.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 31, 2010, 07:20:06 PM
I just don't find either of them attractive in the slightest.  Which, I suppose, spares me from the concept of putting my dick anywhere near them.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 08:30:50 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 07:15:42 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:29:22 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:43:15 AM
I would take momma over her any day.
Don't get me wrong, I'd have a little go on either / both  of them,  given half the chance , but I wouldn't want to keep them.  Not for any  longer than necessary.

I have this weird hangup where I won't fuck people I don't like. Frankly, I think it makes me better than everyone else.
I am only rolling with my twisted celebrity fantasy never going to happen anyway, so wind up EBS with the Palin Girls thing. Sarah is a Lizard, and Bristol's far to young and full of stupids.
(Sorry EBS, but they really are a pair of utility slags)
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 08:43:27 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 07:15:42 PM




I have this weird hangup where I won't fuck people I don't like. Frankly, I think it makes me better than everyone else.
Nah, that's not weird. I have also only ever fucked people I like. We may have fallen out over something or other further down the line, but that's just incidental. If I dislike someone, why would I want to bump uglies with them? (Except for theoretical and absurd speculative situations.)
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:16:41 PM
But then how can I be better than everyone else?   :sad:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:50:29 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:16:41 PM
But then how can I be better than everyone else?   :sad:
Because you just can be. I know it's not fair, but I didn't make the rules. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:53:25 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:50:29 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:16:41 PM
But then how can I be better than everyone else?   :sad:
Because you just can be. I know it's not fair, but I didn't make the rules. 

I can live with that.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 10:01:16 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:53:25 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:50:29 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:16:41 PM
But then how can I be better than everyone else?   :sad:
Because you just can be. I know it's not fair, but I didn't make the rules. 

I can live with that.
That's a relief, thought you were a goner there for a moment.  :roll:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Bruno on December 31, 2010, 10:07:58 PM
I would only ever fuck an imaginary Sarah Palin, never a real one.

Unless it was a totally different person who just happened to have the same name, then maybe.

Predictions:

China will get bigger.
Obama's popularity will rise slightly.
Employment and the economy will improve slightly.
A movement will begin to give mice with human brains the right to vote.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 01, 2011, 12:47:40 AM
This thread has me thinking-- has anyone here ever started up a OMF/GASM where you come up with as many fake causes as you can and get people to sign on to them?
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:14:08 AM
I predict an elaborate web of news hoaxes and faked terror attacks to justify an ever encroaching series of security measures for everything. I also predict that the facade of the NWO will continue to crumble, revealing its sticky roots, whereby sometime in the distant future it may be disabled, at least for 50 years or so. I predict the continued slow creep of a mass awakening, and the beginning of the end for the Tea Party, as they're not really libertarians, and this will be revealed for even their most fanatical supporters to see. The really-real libertarians will not stand for this hoax to be perpetuated.

Wishful thinking combined with paranoia?
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Phox on January 01, 2011, 02:17:04 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:14:08 AM
I predict an elaborate web of news hoaxes and faked terror attacks to justify an ever encroaching series of security measures for everything. I also predict that the facade of the NWO will continue to crumble, revealing its sticky roots, whereby sometime in the distant future it may be disabled, at least for 50 years or so. I predict the continued slow creep of a mass awakening, and the beginning of the end for the Tea Party, as they're not really libertarians, and this will be revealed for even their most fanatical supporters to see. The really-real libertarians will not stand for this hoax to be perpetuated.

Wishful thinking combined with paranoia?

Oh, that's ridiculous. What tomfoolery will you suggest next? That the really real Discordians will out us all as the Illuminati quintuple agents we are?
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:18:45 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 01, 2011, 02:17:04 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:14:08 AM
I predict an elaborate web of news hoaxes and faked terror attacks to justify an ever encroaching series of security measures for everything. I also predict that the facade of the NWO will continue to crumble, revealing its sticky roots, whereby sometime in the distant future it may be disabled, at least for 50 years or so. I predict the continued slow creep of a mass awakening, and the beginning of the end for the Tea Party, as they're not really libertarians, and this will be revealed for even their most fanatical supporters to see. The really-real libertarians will not stand for this hoax to be perpetuated.

Wishful thinking combined with paranoia?

Oh, that's ridiculous. What tomfoolery will you suggest next? That the really real Discordians will out us all as the Illuminati quintuple agents we are?

Na, they'd be lucky to collectively discover a way to tie their own shoes.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on January 01, 2011, 02:48:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on January 01, 2011, 12:47:40 AM
This thread has me thinking-- has anyone here ever started up a OMF/GASM where you come up with as many fake causes as you can and get people to sign on to them?
I like this. Potentially massive spread, if you reach the right people.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 01, 2011, 02:51:40 AM
Jack Nicholson will Die.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on January 01, 2011, 03:13:27 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 01, 2011, 02:17:04 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:14:08 AM
I predict an elaborate web of news hoaxes and faked terror attacks to justify an ever encroaching series of security measures for everything. I also predict that the facade of the NWO will continue to crumble, revealing its sticky roots, whereby sometime in the distant future it may be disabled, at least for 50 years or so. I predict the continued slow creep of a mass awakening, and the beginning of the end for the Tea Party, as they're not really libertarians, and this will be revealed for even their most fanatical supporters to see. The really-real libertarians will not stand for this hoax to be perpetuated.

Wishful thinking combined with paranoia?

Oh, that's ridiculous. What tomfoolery will you suggest next? That the really real Discordians will out us all as the Illuminati quintuple agents we are?
Sshh! You'll be giving away our secret handshakes next!
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Phox on January 01, 2011, 03:47:11 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 01, 2011, 03:13:27 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 01, 2011, 02:17:04 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:14:08 AM
I predict an elaborate web of news hoaxes and faked terror attacks to justify an ever encroaching series of security measures for everything. I also predict that the facade of the NWO will continue to crumble, revealing its sticky roots, whereby sometime in the distant future it may be disabled, at least for 50 years or so. I predict the continued slow creep of a mass awakening, and the beginning of the end for the Tea Party, as they're not really libertarians, and this will be revealed for even their most fanatical supporters to see. The really-real libertarians will not stand for this hoax to be perpetuated.

Wishful thinking combined with paranoia?

Oh, that's ridiculous. What tomfoolery will you suggest next? That the really real Discordians will out us all as the Illuminati quintuple agents we are?
Sshh! You'll be giving away our secret handshakes next!
Why ever would i do that? And what's so special about three fist bumps and a peace sign anyway?  :fnord:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: BadBeast on January 01, 2011, 04:37:44 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 01, 2011, 03:47:11 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 01, 2011, 03:13:27 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 01, 2011, 02:17:04 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 02:14:08 AM
I predict an elaborate web of news hoaxes and faked terror attacks to justify an ever encroaching series of security measures for everything. I also predict that the facade of the NWO will continue to crumble, revealing its sticky roots, whereby sometime in the distant future it may be disabled, at least for 50 years or so. I predict the continued slow creep of a mass awakening, and the beginning of the end for the Tea Party, as they're not really libertarians, and this will be revealed for even their most fanatical supporters to see. The really-real libertarians will not stand for this hoax to be perpetuated.

Wishful thinking combined with paranoia?

Oh, that's ridiculous. What tomfoolery will you suggest next? That the really real Discordians will out us all as the Illuminati quintuple agents we are?
Sshh! You'll be giving away our secret handshakes next!
Why ever would i do that? And what's so special about three fist bumps and a peace sign anyway?  :fnord:
Ah, I see what you're doing here, cleverly misinforming the casual lurker that we use secret handshakes, whilst
diverting attention from the coded subtextual syllabic sequencing that we really use to pass mission updates between ourselves. How positively Vulpine of you my dear.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 01, 2011, 04:55:02 AM
Quote from: suɹnq on January 01, 2011, 02:51:40 AM
Jack Nicholson will Die.

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=23567.msg806606#msg806606

I'm bound to get this right sooner or later. 

also bumping the thread
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 01, 2011, 04:58:24 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 01, 2010, 09:31:30 PM
One year from now, people will be making predictions for the next year, in a similar manner to what we are doing right now.

lol, btw
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: the last yatto on January 01, 2011, 06:58:15 AM
Growing on their trend of trending on the left, a tea bagger will draw in "self defence" against a teenage progressive holding a rock
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on January 01, 2011, 08:15:12 AM
Quote from: Able on January 01, 2011, 06:58:15 AM
Growing on their trend of trending on the left, a tea bagger will draw in "self defence" against a teenage progressive holding a rock

That, or a roided out cop...
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on January 01, 2011, 08:42:26 AM
Speaking of cops, my city's police force will continue to shoot first and ask questions later when it comes to brown people at an astounding rate.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: the last yatto on January 01, 2011, 09:01:10 AM
Peta attempting to troll Michael Vick with former fighting dogs by protesting outside
accidentally lets them loose during one of his games. Thirty fans injured
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: the last yatto on January 01, 2011, 09:05:50 AM
Some /b/tard quits his job at a major tv station
by switching the live feed to a rick roll
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on January 01, 2011, 03:19:10 PM
By December 31st, 2011, I expect the following to have happened:

North Korea carries out a nuclear test.

Sarah Palin announces a Presidential candidacy (cant call whether it will be a GOP or Independent ticket though).

Coalition casualties in Afghanistan for the year will be 907

US unemployment rate will rise by 2.4% (currently at 9.8%)

Israel still wont airstrike Iran

Jesus wont return

The Hidden Mahdi is still hiding

Obama's approval rating will be 49.7%

The Lib Dem's approval rate will be at 6%.

The Coalition still wont have fallen.

Man Utd will win the Premier League.  Again. 

The England team will lose when they play Denmark.  They will draw against Switzerland later in the year.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on January 01, 2011, 09:17:07 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 08:30:50 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 07:15:42 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 31, 2010, 09:29:22 AM
Quote from: Earthbound Spirit on December 31, 2010, 06:43:15 AM
I would take momma over her any day.
Don't get me wrong, I'd have a little go on either / both  of them,  given half the chance , but I wouldn't want to keep them.  Not for any  longer than necessary.

I have this weird hangup where I won't fuck people I don't like. Frankly, I think it makes me better than everyone else.
I am only rolling with my twisted celebrity fantasy never going to happen anyway, so wind up EBS with the Palin Girls thing. Sarah is a Lizard, and Bristol's far to young and full of stupids.
(Sorry EBS, but they really are a pair of utility slags)

It's all good.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on January 03, 2011, 02:40:07 PM
Tom Cruise will abandon Scientology

http://www.sportsbookgurus.com/news/talk-of-tom-cruise-abandoning-scientology-in-2011-hits-online-sportsbooks
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on January 03, 2011, 02:42:32 PM
Hmm, I wonder if he'll be looking for a rebound religion. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 03, 2011, 02:42:51 PM
Quote from: The Poster With No Name on January 03, 2011, 02:40:07 PM
Tom Cruise will abandon Scientology

http://www.sportsbookgurus.com/news/talk-of-tom-cruise-abandoning-scientology-in-2011-hits-online-sportsbooks

No. The laws of physics demand that the amount of crazy in Hollywood only increases, never decreases. If he leaves Scientology.... terrible things may happen in order to maintain the amount of crazy.....
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Dysnomia on January 03, 2011, 06:46:09 PM
Miley Cyrus continues down her path of eventual ruin which will eventually take her to rehab.  Several times.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 03, 2011, 06:49:16 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:16:41 PM
But then how can I be better than everyone else?   :sad:

Because you have Slack™.  You know America™, and they don't.

Plus, you occasionally turn into a Hindu goddess and kill a bunch of motherfuckers at the bar, ensuring that I don't have to wait to get a drink.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: the last yatto on January 03, 2011, 06:58:03 PM
Quote from: SARAH PALIN on January 03, 2011, 06:46:09 PM
Miley Cyrus continues down her path of eventual ruin which will eventually take her to Dr Drew's tv show

Fixt
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 03, 2011, 06:58:47 PM
Quote from: Able on January 03, 2011, 06:58:03 PM
Quote from: SARAH PALIN on January 03, 2011, 06:46:09 PM
Miley Cyrus continues down her path of eventual ruin which will eventually take her to Dr Drew's tv show

Fixt

:lulz:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: the last yatto on January 03, 2011, 06:59:27 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on January 03, 2011, 02:42:51 PM
Quote from: The Poster With No Name on January 03, 2011, 02:40:07 PM
Tom Cruise will abandon Scientology

http://www.sportsbookgurus.com/news/talk-of-tom-cruise-abandoning-scientology-in-2011-hits-online-sportsbooks

No. The laws of physics demand that the amount of crazy in Hollywood only increases, never decreases. If he leaves Scientology.... terrible things may happen in order to maintain the amount of crazy.....

So mission impossible? :lulz:
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Suu on January 03, 2011, 08:38:42 PM
Lindsay Lohan will not only star in a porno and get pregnant. She will finally kill herself. One can hope, right?

Rush Limbaugh will have a near-fatal heart attack or stroke and find someway to blame it on the Dems.

Cain weasels his way into the House of Commons.

We'll see a new string of terrorist attacks that don't target airports or any sort of transportation depot or large cities. We'll call it "backyard terrorism" and it will start at suburban daycare centers.

People will lobby for the total ban of high fructose corn syrup in the United States, which won't pass, as Big Corn has their hands on the balls of Congress just as much as Big Oil.

BP is bought by Exxon-Mobil.

A hurricane in New England, greater than category 3 and it's going to be nasty. It will cut Montauk Point off from Long Island and buzz straight up Narragansett Bay, causing a failure in the Providence Hurricane Barrier and throwing 20 ft of water into the city and up into the Blackstone and Pawtuxet Rivers, causing the entire state to sink except for the Johnston Landfill, College Hill and Federal Hill. FEMA and the government will do nothing, as 90% of the nation's Red Cross is overseas tending to a natural disaster in New Caledonia. We accept aid from the Netherlands and Portugal, but all boats from France are turned away.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Reginald Ret on January 04, 2011, 12:23:10 AM
Many governments around the world will raise taxes to get rid of their budget deficits; this will destroy the economy, many large companies will fail and their websites will shut down causing a total breakdown of the internet (don't believe me? imagine what happens when the top 5 search-engines, youtube, amazon and facebook are gone.)
Alternatively the governments won't raise taxes, and the needed budget cuts will destroy the economy; same results as above.

Everything that isn't produced in china or india will become more expensive but nowhere near as expensive as food will become.
You will not get a raise.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on January 04, 2011, 09:08:43 AM
Well, the last one is certainly true for my dad, for the next two years.  Actually, with the raise in VAT and the rise in cost of trains, petrol, food etc and the fact his last pay rises were still below the national inflation rate means he has taken what is effectively pay cut.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on January 04, 2011, 11:09:29 AM
Also, Sarah Palin's twitter has gone mysteriously quiet.  I think she is definitely up to something, and is keeping her mouth shut and fingers not typing so she cannot offend anyone.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on January 04, 2011, 02:09:48 PM
I have to assume there are Republicans constantly, secretly, begging her to not run.  I'm not 100% convinced she will run but right now I'd put the odds at over 50%.  Just because it will get her mug on TV more and probably result in more money coming her way.  I think she likes the spotlight.  I don't think she'd actually like the actual job of being President. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on January 04, 2011, 02:19:31 PM
The problem is Palin consistently polls high for support in the party - far higher than she does among the general population.  So the few thinking Republicans left would certainly rather she didnt run, but they do not really have a say over such matters anymore.

It's kinda like how the GOP sees healthcare as a SOCIALIST DEATH MACHINE CONSPIRACY TRAP, while actually most of the provisions prove popular in the polls.  They're just completely out of touch on key issues.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on January 04, 2011, 02:23:35 PM
Not that rationality exists in this conversation, but it would seem like Palin would be best as a spokesperson/powerbroker/kingmaker, someone who wouldn't run for president, but who would throw her support behind, and generate buzz and energize the base.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Phox on January 04, 2011, 02:25:44 PM
I refuse to support healthcare until the government includes Death Panels.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on January 04, 2011, 02:26:56 PM
Yeah, and I think that is all the rest of the GOP like her for anyway.  I think even if many of the Tea Partiers were honest, they wouldn't want her as a President either.  She's really best as their Mascot.  Probably gives them some extended longevity too.  Because as soon as they lose a big face like hers, their days as a prominent political movement would likely be numbered.  
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: LMNO on January 04, 2011, 02:38:25 PM
I kind of want to see Michele Bachman to run.  If nothing else, it would be funny.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 05, 2011, 07:48:24 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 03, 2011, 06:49:16 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 31, 2010, 09:16:41 PM
But then how can I be better than everyone else?   :sad:

Because you have Slack™.  You know America™, and they don't.

Plus, you occasionally turn into a Hindu goddess and kill a bunch of motherfuckers at the bar, ensuring that I don't have to wait to get a drink.

Point.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on February 01, 2011, 05:04:10 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 01, 2011, 03:19:10 PM
The Lib Dem's approval rate will be at 6%.

http://today.yougov.co.uk/sites/today.yougov.co.uk/files/YG-Archives-Pol-ST-results-21-230111.pdf

QuoteIn a YouGov poll on Sunday, the Libdem share of the vote amongst 18 – 24 year olds went as low as 7%.

That is roughly around the national average, but much lower than the share Libdems were polling with them closer to the election.

Revenge rides a swift horse.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on February 01, 2011, 08:40:37 PM
Widespread production of paper books will almost entirely cease. Librarians everywhere will quietly bludgeon e-book publishers to death with oversize dictionaries.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: AFK on February 01, 2011, 09:14:54 PM
RWHN will be buried alive in snow.  Icey will claim it was magick. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on February 01, 2011, 10:41:11 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 01, 2011, 09:14:54 PM
RWHN will be buried alive in snow.  Icey will claim it was magick. 

The snow storms will also continue every Tuesday and Wednesday until April.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Suu on February 01, 2011, 10:44:21 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on February 01, 2011, 10:41:11 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 01, 2011, 09:14:54 PM
RWHN will be buried alive in snow.  Icey will claim it was magick. 

The snow storms will also continue every Tuesday and Wednesday until April.

And the universities will have to cancel spring break. I'll be hearing the backlash from pissed off 18 year olds that wanted to get crunk in Mexico.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Sister Fracture on February 01, 2011, 10:47:09 PM
Tucson will get less weird for a period of time, and then all hell will break loose from the "rubber-band" type tension this will put on the occultish energies.

Or something
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on February 02, 2011, 02:51:04 AM
The UC and CSU system will hike fees up another ten to fifteen percent for the 2011-2012 year.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Xooxe on July 14, 2011, 04:10:20 PM
Quote from: Xooxe on December 30, 2010, 06:14:37 PM
Automated CCTV facial recognition will be trialled in a major UK or US city using data bought from Facebook.

Perhaps that's a 2012 prediction, but I'm sticking with it as inevitable.

Getting warmer.

http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2011/07/surveillance-state-tactics-increasing-police-starting-to-use-facial-recognition-devices.html
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Juana on July 14, 2011, 09:48:59 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on February 02, 2011, 02:51:04 AM
The UC and CSU system will hike fees up another ten to fifteen percent for the 2011-2012 year.
Almost! CSU fees jumped another three hundred bucks yesterday.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Cain on July 15, 2011, 10:19:01 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 01, 2011, 03:19:10 PMThe England team will lose when they play Denmark.  They will draw against Switzerland later in the year.

Well, got both of those wrong.  However...

Quote from: Cain on January 01, 2011, 03:19:10 PMMan Utd will win the Premier League.  Again.

Zing!

Quote from: Cain on January 01, 2011, 03:19:10 PMObama's approval rating will be 49.7%

Has actually been lower, but still ZING!

Quote from: Cain on January 01, 2011, 03:19:10 PMUS unemployment rate will rise by 2.4% (currently at 9.8%)

I may have actually low-balled on this one:
http://www.eutimes.net/2011/03/real-us-unemployment-rate-may-be-22-percent-for-february/
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on July 15, 2011, 02:44:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (deceased) on January 04, 2011, 02:38:25 PM
I kind of want to see Michele Bachman to run.  If nothing else, it would be funny.

:argh!:

You certainly called it. 
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Suu on July 15, 2011, 04:29:17 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on February 01, 2011, 10:41:11 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on February 01, 2011, 09:14:54 PM
RWHN will be buried alive in snow.  Icey will claim it was magick. 

The snow storms will also continue every Tuesday and Wednesday until April.

Nope. But they did last for most of the month of February on Tuesday and Wednesdays.

Quote from: Her Royal Suuness on February 01, 2011, 10:44:21 PM
And the universities will have to cancel spring break. I'll be hearing the backlash from pissed off 18 year olds that wanted to get crunk in Mexico.

This did not happen because the teacher's union kicked in, but the university was ready to do it. Extra days were tacked on to the end of my school year and finals were flipped all around so I had 2 huge ones on the same day. ~_~
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Xooxe on December 27, 2011, 04:30:14 PM
Quote from: Xooxe on July 14, 2011, 04:10:20 PM
Quote from: Xooxe on December 30, 2010, 06:14:37 PM
Automated CCTV facial recognition will be trialled in a major UK or US city using data bought from Facebook.

Perhaps that's a 2012 prediction, but I'm sticking with it as inevitable.

Getting warmer.

http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2011/07/surveillance-state-tactics-increasing-police-starting-to-use-facial-recognition-devices.html

Annnnnnnnnnnnd, apart from the Facebook info, here it is. Just in time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsf1VhZ9L7c

(Okay, I cheated a bit. It's not proper facial recognition. Still, you'll have your every location tracked.) Now to wait for the algorithms that scan for BEHAVIOUR OF INTEREST.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 27, 2011, 09:12:00 PM
Quote from: Regret on January 04, 2011, 12:23:10 AM
Many governments around the world will raise taxes to get rid of their budget deficits; this will destroy the economy, many large companies will fail and their websites will shut down causing a total breakdown of the internet (don't believe me? imagine what happens when the top 5 search-engines, youtube, amazon and facebook are gone.)
Alternatively the governments won't raise taxes, and the needed budget cuts will destroy the economy; same results as above.

Everything that isn't produced in china or india will become more expensive but nowhere near as expensive as food will become.
You will not get a raise.
Shit, they're stalling. Now it will be worse! though i no longer believe it will happen before 2015, they'll just stall and stall and continue to keep the wound wet making the problem worse and worse. Even China will not escape the coming collapse.
You will still not get a raise.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on April 03, 2019, 11:35:21 PM
My prediction for 2011 is buy bitcoins you fuckwit! Wait, this advice is late, do not do this now.
Title: Re: Predictions for 2011
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 04, 2019, 01:29:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:35:10 PM
The Green Hornet will suck balls.

TAAAAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA