Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:39:36 PM

Title: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:39:36 PM
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh LMNO R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn", which translates as "In his cube at W'ork, bored LMNO waits dreaming."

For untold aeons, the stars were wrong, and LMNO couldn't exist in the real world.  Eventually, though, they had to be right, and that eventuality happened 15 minutes ago.

The guy in the cube across from LMNO didn't stand a chance.  Nobody did, of course, but this guy had a half second to see the strange geometry that was once LMNO's cube, and it blasted his mind...Which was just as well, because a half-second later, be was smashed to a red greasy spot by the tentacles that shot out of LMNO's ass.

There were a few seconds of confusion and running around and hollering on his floor, and then the tentacles shot down through the elevator shafts, groping into each floor, testing each person they ran into, rejecting them, and leaving their pulped remains on the floor.  If that hot intern in the mail room had been in to work that day, things might have been different.  But she wasn't, and things went from bad to worse.

All over Boston, people came to rather messy ends, as the Hounds of Tindalos sprung out of every angled surface, chowing down on Bostonians like Scooby snacks.  The stain of otherworldly horror began to spread out of Boston at an alarming rate.  It's half way to Chicago, and all transmissions - television, phones, internet, whatever, cease abruptly as the line of corruption crosses any given point.

Well, almost any communication.  I just got an email from some guy named "Hastur" who says that he'll pay me 20% of $100,000,000, if I help him get it out of the vast gulfs between the stars, by letting him use my checking account for a while.

I suppose I could run West, but I'd only die tired, right?  And I really don't think I have to put up with Elder God porn spam.

Goddamn you, LMNO.

Or Kill Me Devour my very soul.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Jasper on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Remington on January 17, 2011, 06:59:19 PM
 :mittens:

I really like this whole "board members as Elder Gods" thing.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:59:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

It explains why the board is so dead.  Yeah, Richter's here, but we always knew which side he is on.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Adios on January 17, 2011, 07:00:35 PM
LMNO's ass-tentacles ate everybody?
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 07:02:34 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 17, 2011, 07:00:35 PM
LMNO's ass-tentacles ate everybody?

Everyone as far West as Amarillo, at the time of this p
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Jasper on January 17, 2011, 07:04:02 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:59:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

It explains why the board is so dead.  Yeah, Richter's here, but we always knew which side he is on.


Is the west coast safe, or should I eat a bullet now?

Edit:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 07:02:34 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 17, 2011, 07:00:35 PM
LMNO's ass-tentacles ate everybody?

Everyone as far West as Amarillo, at the time of this p

Oh.  Uh. Hm.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: President Television on January 17, 2011, 09:19:58 PM
I don't know what you're talking about Roger, the east coast is fi
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Richter on January 17, 2011, 10:18:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2011, 06:59:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 17, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
:aaa:

Oh my.

It explains why the board is so dead.  Yeah, Richter's here, but we always knew which side he is on.

I for one welcome, aid, and devour alongside our new tentacled overlord!
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Triple Zero on January 17, 2011, 10:19:55 PM
"Surprise!" - Eris
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Richter on January 17, 2011, 10:20:44 PM
and  :lulz:

This would TOTALLY happen in Boston.  Providence would take it in stride too much.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: LMNO on January 18, 2011, 01:13:46 PM
FEAR MY MIGHTY ANAL TENTACLES.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Phox on January 18, 2011, 01:44:32 PM
 :mittens:
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Whatever on January 18, 2011, 03:04:22 PM
I like this.


I have to move now, but, I like this....   :lulz:


LMNO, be careful on the east side, those fuckers are loaded for Columbians.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on January 18, 2011, 08:46:19 PM
:mittens:

For the entire series.
Title: Re: Apocalypse: A Primer, part V of V
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2011, 10:05:15 PM
Holy shit, this was fucking excellent.