https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1xninS1GHZNRYCrfw7wJnoN4CQBS4Dm1mLMdAwx34dRE
Original science fiction. In its current incarnation it's just a plot, actual scenes are not yet written. Still, this is the longest story I've ever written, and my friends seem to like it.
:aww:
INTERNAL SERVER ERROR
ERROR 500
Don't have time to thoroughly read right now, but skimmed it a bit. DON'T. USE. PRESENT. TENSE. IN. A. NARRATIVE.
Eh, that's a bit harsh. But seriously, narratives generally flow better when using past tense. And there are certain times when using a present tense instead of past tense is appropriate. But those situations are relatively rare, so it's best to avoid it.
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 24, 2011, 07:49:51 AM
Don't have time to thoroughly read right now, but skimmed it a bit. DON'T. USE. PRESENT. TENSE. IN. A. NARRATIVE.
Eh, that's a bit harsh. But seriously, narratives generally flow better when using past tense. And there are certain times when using a present tense instead of past tense is appropriate. But those situations are relatively rare, so it's best to avoid it.
I expect the tense will be changed once it's more than an outline of the plot.
If it wasn't going to, though, definitely what Phox said.
I have a tab open with it, intending to read, but busy things keep distracting me.
I know my style leaves much to be desired, but this is just a preliminary exercise to plan the story out so I don't get bogged down and quit. This is by no means finished product.
Some of that writing, upon revision, is admittedly some ugly shit. I think I just had to show it to a more critical audience to actually notice.
Bug report:001
The writing is not good
Status: Will fix.
Stick with it. Let the story write itself. I liked it.
Thanks! That's highly encouraging, coming from you. :D
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 24, 2011, 04:00:50 PM
I know my style leaves much to be desired, but this is just a preliminary exercise to plan the story out so I don't get bogged down and quit. This is by no means finished product.
Yeah, what I have been able to read so far is very interesting. Definitely looking forward to getting a chance to finish it. and kinda wondering what you are going to do to flesh it out.
Write actual scenes and dialogue, namely. This is just a plot overview.
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 24, 2011, 07:24:46 PM
Write actual scenes and dialogue, namely. This is just a plot overview.
I meant in terms of how the dialogue and scenes play out, not the literal process. :lol:
OH.
Yeah. :lol:
Well, that's what I suck the most at, so it should be fun.
I am thinking about finding a bunch of writers I like, and mimicking their techniques. Any suggestions for who I should look to for great form? I'm not planning on copying actual text, just the form and flow of dialogue (since I have little idea how to do it in the first place.)
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 24, 2011, 08:08:32 PM
OH.
Yeah. :lol:
Well, that's what I suck the most at, so it should be fun.
I am thinking about finding a bunch of writers I like, and mimicking their techniques. Any suggestions for who I should look to for great form? I'm not planning on copying actual text, just the form and flow of dialogue (since I have little idea how to do it in the first place.)
Hmmm. For dialogue, no one beats Twain.
Of course! I actually have a complete works lying around somewhere! Excellent! :D
I AM ANGERED!!!!!! Why is not all Error 500 for me but no one else. :cry: :cry: :cry:
This sounds really good! I've always loved stuff that deals with the logical and societal consequences of AIs.
It's a perfectly well-written outline, and sounds like it'll make a good story.
Very cool ideas. I was gutted it was just a short outline though, i could have read that for hours.
more please.
I really love the premise, it looks great; hurry up and get it on paper!
Thanks, everybody! I've been away all week, and I have spontaneously driven 1000+ miles since friday night, so I am very sleepy but I will be catching up soon.
Quote from: Canis latrans eques on January 25, 2011, 06:13:05 AM
I AM ANGERED!!!!!! Why is not all Error 500 for me but no one else. :cry: :cry: :cry:
Ohh! Sorry, didn't know what you meant earlier! Check your PM's. :)
This sounds excellent.
Your outline has my brain buzzing with ideas and questions.
Inspiring and conceptually dense stuff, Sig.
That's the highest praise I could possibly accept. I really appreciate it. :)
I enjoyed the broad concepts you put forth. I also kept having flashes of scenes and such as if this were a story board for a movie or a graphic novel. I greatly look forward to a fleshed out story.
Ok so I am trying to do more writing.
Here's what I've got so far for the intro.
https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1ADSXsym6iO7_IoQKGgs0GYF7aPCIKRiTPzLY_pOeZLs
Bump. I'm stuck on what I've got so far until I have some idea if it's right.
I like it. :)
Really awesome idea, and I like what you've got so far. Keep it up!
Thanks, I just wasn't willing to work on it more until I knew I wasn't wasting my time. :)
I like.