http://www.engadget.com/2011/02/08/itunes-salvation-roman-catholic-church-approves-confession-app/
I fucking love this world.
Just when I thought the catholic church couldn't get any more retarded, it turns out I was right - the catholic church can't get any more retarded :lulz:
Wow. There are no words...
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
I'm not a religious person but if I was I'd be praying right now that this app was developed by a cunning troll who plans to introduce bizarre and infeasible sins, via automatic updates, once everyone is accustomed to using it. :evil:
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 08, 2011, 03:00:30 PM
I'm not a religious person but if I was I'd be praying right now that this app was developed by a cunning troll who plans to introduce bizarre and infeasible sins, via automatic updates, once everyone is accustomed to using it. :evil:
Me, I'm hoping somebody hacks into it and links it to Twitter accounts.
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 02:59:15 PM
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."
"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."
"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."
"You guys are ridiculous! I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"
"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir. I'm hanging up."
Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2011, 03:32:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 02:59:15 PM
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."
"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."
"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."
"You guys are ridiculous! I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"
"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir. I'm hanging up."
:horrormirth:
Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2011, 03:32:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 02:59:15 PM
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."
"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."
"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."
"You guys are ridiculous! I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"
"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir. I'm hanging up."
"Hi, my name is Johnny and my mommy said I could call and confess."
"How old are you Johnny?"
"11"
"I'm sorry but all young boys under the age of 12 must confess in person."
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 03:38:25 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2011, 03:32:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 02:59:15 PM
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."
"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."
"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."
"You guys are ridiculous! I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"
"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir. I'm hanging up."
"Hi, my name is Johnny and my mommy said I could call and confess."
"How old are you Johnny?"
"11"
"I'm sorry but all young boys under the age of 12 must confess in person."
:x
I love you guys. <3
Waitaminute.
There's a checklist...
Is it worth a buck ninety-nine to see how many you can check off in a month?
Quote from: Luna on February 08, 2011, 03:48:58 PM
Waitaminute.
There's a checklist...
Is it worth a buck ninety-nine to see how many you can check off in a month?
In a month?
I'd think the contest would be to see how many you could do
simultaneously.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on February 08, 2011, 03:50:38 PM
Quote from: Luna on February 08, 2011, 03:48:58 PM
Waitaminute.
There's a checklist...
Is it worth a buck ninety-nine to see how many you can check off in a month?
In a month?
I'd think the contest would be to see how many you could do simultaneously.
:D
Anybody want to go in for iPhone Devkit? I'm certain that a sin checklist for every flavor of Satanism will sell MUCH better.
Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2011, 03:58:32 PM
Anybody want to go in for iPhone Devkit? I'm certain that a sin checklist for every flavor of Satanism Prostitution will sell MUCH better.
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 03:38:25 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2011, 03:32:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 02:59:15 PM
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."
"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."
"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."
"You guys are ridiculous! I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"
"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir. I'm hanging up."
"Hi, my name is Johnny and my mommy said I could call and confess."
"How old are you Johnny?"
"11"
"I'm sorry but all young boys under the age of 12 must confess in person."
:spittake:
"Thank you for calling Confession Hotline, this is Father O'Malley, you may begin your confession at any time."
"Eh Father, this is Tony. It's been three days since my last confession."
"Go ahead Tony"
"Well Father you see, there was this guy and he was someplace he really shouldn't have been and the boss asked me to take care of the problem."
"I see Tony, so what happened?"
"Well you see Father, I'm getting ready to bury him right now and I wondered if you'd give him last rites?"
click click tap tap
"Father you there?"
click click
"Tony hold the phone to his ear."
"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."
click click tap tap
"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."
"Father, are you still there?"
"Yes, Tony."
"Father, there are 5 cop cars coming towards me.... wait they are stopping. OH My God Father... BANG BANG BANG"
"Hello, this is Agent Thomas with the FBI, to whom am I speaking?"
"Agent, this is Father O'Malley, can you hold the phone up to the ear of the person you just shot please...."
"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."
"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."
Quote from: Khara on February 08, 2011, 04:06:32 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 03:38:25 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 08, 2011, 03:32:36 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 02:59:15 PM
:lulz:
"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."
"Please hold."
"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."
"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."
"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."
"You guys are ridiculous! I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"
"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir. I'm hanging up."
"Hi, my name is Johnny and my mommy said I could call and confess."
"How old are you Johnny?"
"11"
"I'm sorry but all young boys under the age of 12 must confess in person."
:spittake:
"Thank you for calling Confession Hotline, this is Father O'Malley, you may begin your confession at any time."
"Eh Father, this is Tony. It's been three days since my last confession."
"Go ahead Tony"
"Well Father you see, there was this guy and he was someplace he really shouldn't have been and the boss asked me to take care of the problem."
"I see Tony, so what happened?"
"Well you see Father, I'm getting ready to bury him right now and I wondered if you'd give him last rites?"
click click tap tap
"Father you there?"
click click
"Tony hold the phone to his ear."
"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."
click click tap tap
"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."
"Father, are you still there?"
"Yes, Tony."
"Father, there are 5 cop cars coming towards me.... wait they are stopping. OH My God Father... BANG BANG BANG"
"Hello, this is Agent Thomas with the FBI, to whom am I speaking?"
"Agent, this is Father O'Malley, can you hold the phone up to the ear of the person you just shot please...."
"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."
"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."
:mittens:
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:30:11 PM
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
damn
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:30:11 PM
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
Friend of mine referred to the one she fondly remembers as "Father Whatawaste."
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 04:31:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:30:11 PM
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
damn
I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?
If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!
Quote from: Khara on February 08, 2011, 04:36:23 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 04:31:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:30:11 PM
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
damn
I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?
If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!
...Yes.
He started at St. Raphael's, which was my parish. :oops:
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:37:58 PM
Quote from: Khara on February 08, 2011, 04:36:23 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 04:31:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:30:11 PM
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
damn
I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?
If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!
...Yes.
He started at St. Raphael's, which was my parish. :oops:
If I hadn't already left the church before, I would have kidnapped him and taken him with me on my sinful escape.
Oh the dreams.... the dreams....
LOVE this. God Bless America. ETA: Of course, they've had the call to prayer app for Muslims for a while now.
Quote from: Khara on February 08, 2011, 04:40:45 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:37:58 PM
Quote from: Khara on February 08, 2011, 04:36:23 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on February 08, 2011, 04:31:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:30:11 PM
A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.
Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.
damn
I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?
If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!
...Yes.
He started at St. Raphael's, which was my parish. :oops:
If I hadn't already left the church before, I would have kidnapped him and taken him with me on my sinful escape.
Oh the dreams.... the dreams....
He transferred to the parish as a deacon when I was like 14 (so he was 19), and he came into my youth group to meet us all. I was like, "Well, shit. This is awkward.......................maybe he won't go for ordination."
Then 2 years later, one of my last masses I went to I'm sitting there thinking bad thoughts while he was running the service. I would go every week after that and even to confession on Wednesdays
just to see him. I realized I had a crush on a priest...That's when I stopped going.
IT WAS NOT FAIR. NOT. FUCKING. FAIR. NO MAN OF THAT SEXINESS SHOULD EVER BE A PRIEST, DAMNIT. AT LEAST IF HE WAS GAY BUT NOT A MAN OF THE CLOTH I COULD STILL HIT ON HIM! :argh!:
OH GOD DAMNIT I JUST LOOKED UP A PIC AND HE'S STILL HOT.
I NEED THAT APP IMMEDIATELY.
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:51:53 PM
OH GOD DAMNIT I JUST LOOKED UP A PIC AND HE'S STILL HOT.
I NEED THAT APP IMMEDIATELY.
Well, you could always go back for a long, involved confession...
No way, he's all priest-like now. He's not a sultry 20 something teasing the teenage girls into going to mass. It's too late, he's too far gone...
You have no idea...NONE.
Ugh...Holy shit, all the articles on him are about his workout regimen. FUCK YOU, GOD!
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:55:35 PM
No way, he's all priest-like now. He's not a sultry 20 something teasing the teenage girls into going to mass. It's too late, he's too far gone...
You have no idea...NONE.
Ugh...Holy shit, all the articles on him are about his workout regimen. FUCK YOU, GOD!
Protip: You want to fuck a priest? Dress up as a small boy :evil:
Quote from: Jenne on February 08, 2011, 04:45:04 PM
LOVE this. God Bless America. ETA: Of course, they've had the call to prayer app for Muslims for a while now.
That makes far more sense than a confession one.
Also, I highly approve of a satanist version of this, mostly to fuck with Apple, who will be screwed either way when the approve/disapprove the app.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on February 08, 2011, 06:23:39 PM
Quote from: Suu on February 08, 2011, 04:55:35 PM
No way, he's all priest-like now. He's not a sultry 20 something teasing the teenage girls into going to mass. It's too late, he's too far gone...
You have no idea...NONE.
Ugh...Holy shit, all the articles on him are about his workout regimen. FUCK YOU, GOD!
Protip: You want to fuck a priest? Dress up as a small boy :evil:
You have no idea how much you are ruining this for me. You have NO IDEA.
:lulz: @ Suu. I never had the fantasy over seducing a man of the cloth--but we did have a cute pastor growing up. Thing is, he was right there with his Barbie wife who really WAS a great person. So any lascivious thoughts I'd have had were pretty stillborn.
Seems to me it's a variation on theme--man in uniform?
How bout I put on my engineer's uniform and you and I take a ride on the DownTown Train, if you know what I'm saying.....
:lulz: Sure, ROD!
"I can't WAIT til this comes out for Android!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVT37GRXeE4&feature=feedu
Taiwan got word of this.
:lulz: