Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 10, 2011, 04:12:01 AM

Title: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 10, 2011, 04:12:01 AM
Dear Charlie Sheen,

NEVER STOP DOING COKE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFbd4mOruQA&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Suu on March 10, 2011, 04:20:48 AM
This thread is winning.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 04:23:02 AM
Hi I'm Lies and I'm addicted to Charlie Sheen.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 10, 2011, 04:23:53 AM
I started giggling uncontrollably at about the point where he said that phones are built by trolls.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Suu on March 10, 2011, 04:24:55 AM
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1952026
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 04:27:32 AM
(http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/drugckinfographic.jpg)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 04:34:05 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/RmsoM.jpg)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Dysnomia on March 10, 2011, 05:38:21 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 10, 2011, 04:23:53 AM
I started giggling uncontrollably at about the point where he said that phones are built by trolls.

this
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Subtract Eight! on March 10, 2011, 08:26:08 AM
post 5 is really well done graphically and humorllishical

Sheen is trawling himself by forcing memes out of his own mouth, it's quite a viciously forced meme/troll.

hes funny sometimes/mostly though if i had to be in the same room for over a generous 30 minutes id have to start a self trolling competition out of boredom, and he'd probably get mirrors in his eyes and then everyone would be annoyed
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on March 10, 2011, 04:05:31 PM
I figure it this way, he isn't hurting anyone and by god he's having fun.  A side bonus is he's funny and I am thoroughly enjoying his ranting and raging.

Y'all guys saying you wouldn't trade living arrangements with the man?  Because I would have to seriously think about my sexual orientation before I said no.....
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: LMNO on March 10, 2011, 04:26:39 PM
Quote from: Khara on March 10, 2011, 04:05:31 PM
I figure it this way, he isn't hurting anyone and by god he's having fun.  A side bonus is he's funny and I am thoroughly enjoying his ranting and raging.

Y'all guys saying you wouldn't trade living arrangements with the man?  Because I would have to seriously think about my sexual orientation before I said no.....


Did you skip the part where he has repeatedly beaten whichever wife or girlfriend he's cheating on?


http://jezebel.com/#!5774374/charlie-sheens-history-of-violence-toward-women

Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 08:13:37 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 04:26:39 PM
Quote from: Khara on March 10, 2011, 04:05:31 PM
I figure it this way, he isn't hurting anyone and by god he's having fun.  A side bonus is he's funny and I am thoroughly enjoying his ranting and raging.

Y'all guys saying you wouldn't trade living arrangements with the man?  Because I would have to seriously think about my sexual orientation before I said no.....


Did you skip the part where he has repeatedly beaten whichever wife or girlfriend he's cheating on?


http://jezebel.com/#!5774374/charlie-sheens-history-of-violence-toward-women



Yeah, but, and I'm not trying to defend him or such, just pointing out- he's done a lot of charity work for womens groups (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_sheen#Political_views_and_activities) and other health organisations.

On the flip side, he's a 9-11 truther.   :x
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: AFK on March 10, 2011, 08:33:53 PM
I've done my damndest to avoid the Charlie Sheen coverage.  But, I somehow managed to hear a clip or two of his ramblings.  All this time I thought he had one of the easiest acting jobs on the face of the Earth, because, it seemed like he was just playing himself on the show.  But it looks like he did a fairly decent job of reigning in the full-on crazy for that character. 
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on March 10, 2011, 08:47:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 04:26:39 PM
Quote from: Khara on March 10, 2011, 04:05:31 PM
I figure it this way, he isn't hurting anyone and by god he's having fun.  A side bonus is he's funny and I am thoroughly enjoying his ranting and raging.

Y'all guys saying you wouldn't trade living arrangements with the man?  Because I would have to seriously think about my sexual orientation before I said no.....


Did you skip the part where he has repeatedly beaten whichever wife or girlfriend he's cheating on?


http://jezebel.com/#!5774374/charlie-sheens-history-of-violence-toward-women



First off Jezebal LMNO?  Really?

Second, there is and always has been a lot of controversy over how true a lot of those accusations are.  While I am usually the first against any thought of domestic violence, I also know a lot of women use that card for money and such.  I don't know what has truly happened, I doubt anyone will ever know the whole truth.

My comment was in direct regard to what is happening to the man now.  As far as I know neither of his two girlfriends have made any such claims against him.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: LMNO on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?

Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 10, 2011, 09:15:33 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?

This. I could see him pleading guilty just to get it over with. Nobody likes dealing with a long, drawn-out lawsuit.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:16:41 PM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 10, 2011, 09:15:33 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?

This. I could see him pleading guilty just to get it over with. Nobody likes dealing with a long, drawn-out lawsuit.
*cough* Michael Jackson *cough*
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: AFK on March 10, 2011, 09:22:07 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?

What about the fact that he's a narcissistic drug addict?   
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Luna on March 10, 2011, 09:24:12 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?

Brooke Mueller/Sheen, 2009.  Pled guilty.  I can find no evidence that she filed a civil suit.  Some custody issues, yes, but nothing regarding the assault...  And, really, I find it unlikely she did it to get an upper hand in the custody case.  "He's got two pron stars living in the house" is pretty darn good for the case.

Brittany Ashland had a civil suit which Sheen settled out of court.  She also had 7 stitches in her lip after Sheen slammed her to the ground, which I'm inclined to think is a hint that SOMETHING happened.

There's also the incident where his fiancée got shot in the arm.  Stories on that one are pretty clouded.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 10, 2011, 09:32:02 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 10, 2011, 09:24:12 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?

Brooke Mueller/Sheen, 2009.  Pled guilty.  I can find no evidence that she filed a civil suit.  Some custody issues, yes, but nothing regarding the assault...  And, really, I find it unlikely she did it to get an upper hand in the custody case.  "He's got two pron stars living in the house" is pretty darn good for the case.

Brittany Ashland had a civil suit which Sheen settled out of court.  She also had 7 stitches in her lip after Sheen slammed her to the ground, which I'm inclined to think is a hint that SOMETHING happened.

There's also the incident where his fiancée got shot in the arm.  Stories on that one are pretty clouded.

Ok, I'm convinced now. Charlie Sheen is kind of a huge asshole, but his ravings are gold.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on March 10, 2011, 09:47:24 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?



Well, considering he was losing close to a cool mil with every court appearance, no it doesn't.  Plead guilty, pay the fine, go to a couple of "anger managment" things.  You are done.  Plead not-guilty and go thru days of bullshit in addition to losing money for every minute you're there?

I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong, I am saying many celebrities, just like your average joe will plead out on something to avoid extended time off from work and so forth.

Both women were paid off and since neither had done a tell-all book you have to wonder how much truth was in their claim to begin with.  I mean the one chick in the hotel room, she was as nuts as he is.

Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Luna on March 10, 2011, 09:54:03 PM
Quote from: Khara on March 10, 2011, 09:47:24 PM
Well, considering he was losing close to a cool mil with every court appearance, no it doesn't. 

How do you figure?  He got paid by the episode shot, not by the day... and they shot around his court schedule, so, far as I know, he didn't lose a dime.  So far as I'm aware, the only times they had to stop shooting were when he was too fucked up or in rehab to shoot.

QuoteBoth women were paid off

I couldn't find anything about his wife filing a lawsuit or being "paid off," did I miss it?
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:55:25 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 10, 2011, 09:22:07 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:11:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 10, 2011, 08:52:13 PM
So, him pleading guilty to abuse charges twice doesn't mean anything to you?


The fact hes mega rich and that abuse charges could = money means nothing either?

What about the fact that he's a narcissistic drug addict?   
?
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 10, 2011, 09:56:45 PM
Crazy actor is crazy.

TGRR,
Has already seen the Mel Gibson thing done once.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:57:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 10, 2011, 09:56:45 PM
Crazy actor is crazy.

TGRR,
Has already seen the Mel Gibson thing done once.
Yeah, but Mel Gibson isn't half as entertaining as sheen is. I mean, two and half men sucks, but his off-show stuff is pure comedy gold
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 10, 2011, 09:59:06 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 10, 2011, 09:57:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 10, 2011, 09:56:45 PM
Crazy actor is crazy.

TGRR,
Has already seen the Mel Gibson thing done once.
Yeah, but Mel Gibson isn't half as entertaining as sheen is. I mean, two and half men sucks, but his off-show stuff is pure comedy gold

Sure.  But people are now debating what's "really going on", as if that meant anything in the slightest.

Also, Mel Gibson's "phone call with the ex" recording is still funnier.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Subtract Eight! on March 10, 2011, 10:24:23 PM
Charlie Sheen turns out to be a better actor in real life than on his shit show.

To hell with tiger blood and F-18s I have a remote *click*
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: I_Kicked_Kennedy on March 11, 2011, 12:26:23 AM
I'm sorry, but I really want Charlie Sheen to continue to lose his shit. Not that I have any animosity towards the guy, but I want it as a specimen to other mysogynist fucktards with an ego problem, masquerading as a blow addiction:

"Hey Craig/Brandon/Ryan/Tyler/"My Dad, like, totally owns a Toyota dealership", this is how to do it. If you're going to be an absolute piece of shit, be an unapologetic piece of shit, and remind humanity why humanity really doesn't like you. Please go to the nth degree, so we can find you easily, isolate you, and watch you die in a pus-froth explosion of misplaced testosterone. "

I mean, I find Carlos Estevez's method half as annoying as the half-sincere "Ok, I'll do my best to at least appear to have my shit together, further perpetuating the facade that has given so many rohypnol and force-fed alcohol hungover, too-nice-to-press-charges girls a dull aching pain, and undeserved feeling of emptiness as they shuffle into Walgreens to get Plan B. At least in Charlie's circumstance, he's not only fucking himself, but any half-conscious, somewhat aware woman meets him and says "Shit, this is Charlie fucking Sheen. I'm either up for it, or I should leave the bar right now."
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 12:31:38 AM
It occurs to me that Charlie Sheen would be brilliant as the Joker as long as they kept him coked up enough.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 11, 2011, 01:08:41 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 12:31:38 AM
It occurs to me that Charlie Sheen would be brilliant as the Joker as long as they kept him coked up enough.
I think he'd be brilliant as the joker coke or not.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 01:16:26 AM
Quote from: Lies on March 11, 2011, 01:08:41 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 12:31:38 AM
It occurs to me that Charlie Sheen would be brilliant as the Joker as long as they kept him coked up enough.
I think he'd be brilliant as the joker coke or not.

This is probably true.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 01:40:00 AM
Hes accepting applications for an intern.

The only requirement is that you have to be a winner.

75 characters or less.

Im going for it.




Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 01:58:23 AM
I made a new email just for this application.

nine11Truth_W1nn3r@hotmail.com

Hopefully it catches his eye.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 11, 2011, 02:07:18 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 01:58:23 AM
I made a new email just for this application.

nine11Truth_W1nn3r@hotmail.com

Hopefully it catches his eye.
LOL
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 02:13:44 AM
Heres a rough draft.

Its been carefully crafted to appeal to him.

QuoteHey Charlie, I know this is over the character limit, well FUCK THE CHARACTER LIMIT. Character limits exist only for those who are limited. Im fucking unlimited.

Look at this fucking application. Does it not spew winning from its every pore? Does it not glow with the pure power of my mighty will? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES.
And you can see that Charlie, you can see that because youre a winner. Youre on the same wavelength as me Charlie, the winning wavelength.

Im a fucking atom bomb. FUCKING COME AT ME ILL TAKE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS ON. Im a one man fucking army. My cock is registered as a lethal weapon. I bent death over my kitchen table and sodomized her with a scythe. She said thank you and begged for more.

Im from outer-space, I kicked Xenu right in the theatans. I hade a threesome with Cthulhu. Star child? Im no fucking star child, IM THE FUCKING STARMAN. When I walk in the room the Pope kisses my ring (and not the one on my finger).

Me and you Charlie, me and fucking you. Were not like those other lumps of protoplasm. We see through the bullshit, we both see through 9/11. Winners dont buy bullshit like that.

Call me charlie, well do beautiful things together. Climb mountains, conquer countries, the skys the limit when youre a winner.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 02:53:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:13:44 AM
Heres a rough draft.

Its been carefully crafted to appeal to him.

QuoteHey Charlie, I know this is over the character limit, well FUCK THE CHARACTER LIMIT. Character limits exist only for those who are limited. Im fucking unlimited.

Look at this fucking application. Does it not spew winning from its every pore? Does it not glow with the pure power of my mighty will? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES.
And you can see that Charlie, you can see that because youre a winner. Youre on the same wavelength as me Charlie, the winning wavelength.

Im a fucking atom bomb. FUCKING COME AT ME ILL TAKE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS ON. Im a one man fucking army. My cock is registered as a lethal weapon. I bent death over my kitchen table and sodomized her with a scythe. She said thank you and begged for more.

Im from outer-space, I kicked Xenu right in the theatans. I hade a threesome with Cthulhu. Star child? Im no fucking star child, IM THE FUCKING STARMAN. When I walk in the room the Pope kisses my ring (and not the one on my finger).

Me and you Charlie, me and fucking you. Were not like those other lumps of protoplasm. We see through the bullshit, we both see through 9/11. Winners dont buy bullshit like that.

Call me charlie, well do beautiful things together. Climb mountains, conquer countries, the skys the limit when youre a winner.

You won't be able to submit it. Here's mine:
QuoteI am a goddamn tigerwise villain. Nothing can stand before my burning fury.
Short and sweet.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 02:56:25 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 02:53:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:13:44 AM
Heres a rough draft.

Its been carefully crafted to appeal to him.

QuoteHey Charlie, I know this is over the character limit, well FUCK THE CHARACTER LIMIT. Character limits exist only for those who are limited. Im fucking unlimited.

Look at this fucking application. Does it not spew winning from its every pore? Does it not glow with the pure power of my mighty will? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES.
And you can see that Charlie, you can see that because youre a winner. Youre on the same wavelength as me Charlie, the winning wavelength.

Im a fucking atom bomb. FUCKING COME AT ME ILL TAKE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS ON. Im a one man fucking army. My cock is registered as a lethal weapon. I bent death over my kitchen table and sodomized her with a scythe. She said thank you and begged for more.

Im from outer-space, I kicked Xenu right in the theatans. I hade a threesome with Cthulhu. Star child? Im no fucking star child, IM THE FUCKING STARMAN. When I walk in the room the Pope kisses my ring (and not the one on my finger).

Me and you Charlie, me and fucking you. Were not like those other lumps of protoplasm. We see through the bullshit, we both see through 9/11. Winners dont buy bullshit like that.

Call me charlie, well do beautiful things together. Climb mountains, conquer countries, the skys the limit when youre a winner.

You won't be able to submit it. Here's mine:
QuoteI am a goddamn tigerwise villain. Nothing can stand before my burning fury.
Short and sweet.

I was thinking of linking him to a pastebin.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 03:05:24 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:56:25 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 02:53:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:13:44 AM
Heres a rough draft.

Its been carefully crafted to appeal to him.

QuoteHey Charlie, I know this is over the character limit, well FUCK THE CHARACTER LIMIT. Character limits exist only for those who are limited. Im fucking unlimited.

Look at this fucking application. Does it not spew winning from its every pore? Does it not glow with the pure power of my mighty will? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES.
And you can see that Charlie, you can see that because youre a winner. Youre on the same wavelength as me Charlie, the winning wavelength.

Im a fucking atom bomb. FUCKING COME AT ME ILL TAKE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS ON. Im a one man fucking army. My cock is registered as a lethal weapon. I bent death over my kitchen table and sodomized her with a scythe. She said thank you and begged for more.

Im from outer-space, I kicked Xenu right in the theatans. I hade a threesome with Cthulhu. Star child? Im no fucking star child, IM THE FUCKING STARMAN. When I walk in the room the Pope kisses my ring (and not the one on my finger).

Me and you Charlie, me and fucking you. Were not like those other lumps of protoplasm. We see through the bullshit, we both see through 9/11. Winners dont buy bullshit like that.

Call me charlie, well do beautiful things together. Climb mountains, conquer countries, the skys the limit when youre a winner.

You won't be able to submit it. Here's mine:
QuoteI am a goddamn tigerwise villain. Nothing can stand before my burning fury.
Short and sweet.

I was thinking of linking him to a pastebin.

Ah. You shrewd winner, you.

I'm thinking of making another application with my main email address referring to yeti blood.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 03:27:20 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 03:05:24 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:56:25 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 02:53:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:13:44 AM
Heres a rough draft.

Its been carefully crafted to appeal to him.

QuoteHey Charlie, I know this is over the character limit, well FUCK THE CHARACTER LIMIT. Character limits exist only for those who are limited. Im fucking unlimited.

Look at this fucking application. Does it not spew winning from its every pore? Does it not glow with the pure power of my mighty will? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES.
And you can see that Charlie, you can see that because youre a winner. Youre on the same wavelength as me Charlie, the winning wavelength.

Im a fucking atom bomb. FUCKING COME AT ME ILL TAKE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS ON. Im a one man fucking army. My cock is registered as a lethal weapon. I bent death over my kitchen table and sodomized her with a scythe. She said thank you and begged for more.

Im from outer-space, I kicked Xenu right in the theatans. I hade a threesome with Cthulhu. Star child? Im no fucking star child, IM THE FUCKING STARMAN. When I walk in the room the Pope kisses my ring (and not the one on my finger).

Me and you Charlie, me and fucking you. Were not like those other lumps of protoplasm. We see through the bullshit, we both see through 9/11. Winners dont buy bullshit like that.

Call me charlie, well do beautiful things together. Climb mountains, conquer countries, the skys the limit when youre a winner.

You won't be able to submit it. Here's mine:
QuoteI am a goddamn tigerwise villain. Nothing can stand before my burning fury.
Short and sweet.

I was thinking of linking him to a pastebin.

Ah. You shrewd winner, you.

I'm thinking of making another application with my main email address referring to yeti blood.

How will you get around the name field?
Do they even check?

Also.

QuoteIm a fucking force of nature. Read this: pastebin.com/eMDBfrSN

You think this is enough to catch his attention?

Also, I wonder how hes going to read through all of these.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 03:30:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 03:27:20 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 03:05:24 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:56:25 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 02:53:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 02:13:44 AM
Heres a rough draft.

Its been carefully crafted to appeal to him.

QuoteHey Charlie, I know this is over the character limit, well FUCK THE CHARACTER LIMIT. Character limits exist only for those who are limited. Im fucking unlimited.

Look at this fucking application. Does it not spew winning from its every pore? Does it not glow with the pure power of my mighty will? OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOES.
And you can see that Charlie, you can see that because youre a winner. Youre on the same wavelength as me Charlie, the winning wavelength.

Im a fucking atom bomb. FUCKING COME AT ME ILL TAKE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS ON. Im a one man fucking army. My cock is registered as a lethal weapon. I bent death over my kitchen table and sodomized her with a scythe. She said thank you and begged for more.

Im from outer-space, I kicked Xenu right in the theatans. I hade a threesome with Cthulhu. Star child? Im no fucking star child, IM THE FUCKING STARMAN. When I walk in the room the Pope kisses my ring (and not the one on my finger).

Me and you Charlie, me and fucking you. Were not like those other lumps of protoplasm. We see through the bullshit, we both see through 9/11. Winners dont buy bullshit like that.

Call me charlie, well do beautiful things together. Climb mountains, conquer countries, the skys the limit when youre a winner.

You won't be able to submit it. Here's mine:
QuoteI am a goddamn tigerwise villain. Nothing can stand before my burning fury.
Short and sweet.

I was thinking of linking him to a pastebin.

Ah. You shrewd winner, you.

I'm thinking of making another application with my main email address referring to yeti blood.

How will you get around the name field?
Do they even check?

Also.

QuoteIm a fucking force of nature. Read this: pastebin.com/eMDBfrSN

You think this is enough to catch his attention?

Also, I wonder how hes going to read through all of these.

By WINNING so hard that he WINS at picking the WINNER completely by random. Tiger blood's good luck, you know.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 03:36:10 AM
...Im actually temped to make a sigil for getting the job.


FUCK I WANT THIS JOB SO BAD.

I WANT TO DANCE WITH CHARLIE SHEEN AS THE FUCKING WORLD ENDS. TIGERS BLOOD MOTHERFUCKER!
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Don Coyote on March 11, 2011, 03:51:36 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 03:36:10 AM
...Im actually temped to make a sigil for getting the job.


Oh please do, and post pictures.


I foresee nothing bad happening, at all.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 03:53:15 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 03:36:10 AM
...Im actually temped to make a sigil for getting the job.


FUCK I WANT THIS JOB SO BAD.

I WANT TO DANCE WITH CHARLIE SHEEN AS THE FUCKING WORLD ENDS. TIGERS BLOOD MOTHERFUCKER!

My sigil will be better! BRB, CHARGIN SIGILS
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Subtract Eight! on March 11, 2011, 03:53:52 AM
HOLY SHIT GLITTERSNITCH.. SHIT
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 04:02:39 AM
Quote from: aedh on March 11, 2011, 03:51:36 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 03:36:10 AM
...Im actually temped to make a sigil for getting the job.


Oh please do, and post pictures.


I foresee nothing bad happening, at all.


Intern for Charlie Sheen

Intern for Charlie Sheen

NTRN FR CHRL SHN

NTRFCHLS


(http://i55.tinypic.com/2uz2osg.jpg)


Alright. So after I charge this it should alter the frequencies of the quantums around me so that Charlie Sheen will hire me.

QUANTUMZ DONT FAIL ME NOW!
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 04:04:39 AM
Quote from: Subtract Eight! on March 11, 2011, 03:53:52 AM
HOLY SHIT GLITTERSNITCH.. SHIT

I KNOW MAN. SHIT.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 04:15:26 AM
(http://files.myfrogbag.com/2anzvrh7sm7705x/WINNER.png)

I used the Grant Morrison technique, myself.
NOW! OUR MAHDGJICKQUES WILL DO BATTLE! :fap:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Telarus on March 11, 2011, 04:39:13 AM
I would put the Paste Bin link after you say "FUCK OFF" to the character limit. You've got to dangle some tasty bait to get him to click the link.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 04:41:33 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 04:15:26 AM
(http://files.myfrogbag.com/2anzvrh7sm7705x/WINNER.png)

I used the Grant Morrison technique, myself.
NOW! OUR MAHDGJICKQUES WILL DO BATTLE! :fap:

                  COME AT ME BRO!
                             \
(http://i567.photobucket.com/albums/ss120/dezilwa/Dragons/posters3.jpg)

                                 :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 04:47:48 AM
Quote from: Telarus on March 11, 2011, 04:39:13 AM
I would put the Paste Bin link after you say "FUCK OFF" to the character limit. You've got to dangle some tasty bait to get him to click the link.

Dammit. I was originally going to put something like that but I ended up submiting it in its current form.
I should have trusted my instincts.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 04:48:44 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 04:50:18 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 04:48:44 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

Curses! HOW CAN I DEFEAT THE POWER OF MAGNETS!?

:argh!:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: President Television on March 11, 2011, 04:51:22 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 11, 2011, 04:50:18 AM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 11, 2011, 04:48:44 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

Curses! HOW CAN I DEFEAT THE POWER OF MAGNETS!?

:argh!:

NOT BY TALKING TO A SCIENTIST, I CAN TELL YOU THAT MUCH MY PRETTY!
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Jenne on March 11, 2011, 04:59:49 AM
:lulz:  WTF are you people up to?
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 05:08:32 AM
Quote from: Jenne on March 11, 2011, 04:59:49 AM
:lulz:  WTF are you people up to?

Bending the Cosmos to our wills.
Trying to suck up to Charlie Sheen.

The usual.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Don Coyote on March 11, 2011, 05:13:14 AM
I regret nothing.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 11, 2011, 05:26:13 AM
Quote from: aedh on March 11, 2011, 05:13:14 AM
I regret nothing.

Winners never do.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Pæs on March 11, 2011, 08:28:06 AM
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bfb12aea47/charlie-sheen-s-winning-recipes
I am making this for dinner.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Lies on March 11, 2011, 10:59:05 AM
http://www.videobb.com/video/2fgp7u8P7eRx

MORE CHARLIE SHEEN WINNING
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: LMNO on March 11, 2011, 12:57:24 PM
Quote from: I_Kicked_Kennedy on March 11, 2011, 12:26:23 AM
I'm sorry, but I really want Charlie Sheen to continue to lose his shit. Not that I have any animosity towards the guy, but I want it as a specimen to other mysogynist fucktards with an ego problem, masquerading as a blow addiction:

"Hey Craig/Brandon/Ryan/Tyler/"My Dad, like, totally owns a Toyota dealership", this is how to do it. If you're going to be an absolute piece of shit, be an unapologetic piece of shit, and remind humanity why humanity really doesn't like you. Please go to the nth degree, so we can find you easily, isolate you, and watch you die in a pus-froth explosion of misplaced testosterone. "

I mean, I find Carlos Estevez's method half as annoying as the half-sincere "Ok, I'll do my best to at least appear to have my shit together, further perpetuating the facade that has given so many rohypnol and force-fed alcohol hungover, too-nice-to-press-charges girls a dull aching pain, and undeserved feeling of emptiness as they shuffle into Walgreens to get Plan B. At least in Charlie's circumstance, he's not only fucking himself, but any half-conscious, somewhat aware woman meets him and says "Shit, this is Charlie fucking Sheen. I'm either up for it, or I should leave the bar right now."

See, now THIS I can get behind.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Luna on March 11, 2011, 07:11:37 PM
 :lulz:

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/11/jon-cryer-the-fact-is-im-a-troll/?hpt=T2
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Cain on March 12, 2011, 01:21:53 AM
China would like us all to know that Charlie Sheen is why we will eventually all speak Mandarin and eat Chop Suey for dinner

http://beijing.globaltimes.cn/two-cents/opinion/2011-03/630731.html

QuoteActor Charlie Sheen is a classic example of the difference in Western and Eastern values and norms.

Ignoring public pleas from his father, Sheen has continued a weeklong media blitz, exhibiting obvious signs of mania. With no firm hand to guide them, Western media has deliberately goaded him into making increasingly delusional statements, more concerned about "winning" higher ratings than Sheen's own sense of pride, or the negative example his brash public admissions about his private sex life and unverifiable international conspiracies could be setting for society.

How many young people have been led astray by Sheen's boasts about his substance abuse and freewheeling sex life? And that was when he was in character on national television, as a randy bachelor in Two and a Half Men.

Sheen attracted 1 million Twitter followers in just 24 hours, yet more evidence that microblogs spread the most unhealthy contagions in society like a disease. Chinese family, coworkers, or the authorities would have taken firm steps to make sure someone like Sheen did not make a public spectacle of himself.

If only Obama and Gates had called in Sheen for a talk, the fall of America could have been avoided.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Pæs on March 12, 2011, 03:24:54 AM
QuoteHe has not only lost face with his public rants, but also crossed a cultural barrier no Chinese can abide.

He ignored his own father's advice to keep quiet, who was once the president of the US. Sheen is a disgrace, unfilial to his father and his fatherland.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 14, 2011, 08:39:50 PM
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2vvkeue.jpg)

HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER.

TIGERS BLOOD


Edit: Hey Unqualified, MY QUANTUMZ WON!!!11

:magick:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on March 14, 2011, 08:42:30 PM
Quote from: Farka Zarcoberg on March 12, 2011, 03:24:54 AM
QuoteHe has not only lost face with his public rants, but also crossed a cultural barrier no Chinese can abide.

He ignored his own father's advice to keep quiet, who was once the president of the US. Sheen is a disgrace, unfilial to his father and his fatherland.

He was a damn good President too....

Best Neilson ratings ever.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Don Coyote on March 14, 2011, 11:59:56 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 14, 2011, 08:39:50 PM
http://i56.tinypic.com/2vvkeue.jpg

HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER.

TIGERS BLOOD


Edit: Hey Unqualified, MY QUANTUMZ WON!!!11

:magick:

:fap:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 22, 2011, 11:58:40 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.

Which part of the post are you referring to?
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 23, 2011, 12:17:15 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 11:58:40 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.

Which part of the post are you referring to?

The video you linked to, with the selling of T-shirts. Brilliant money-making scheme? Seriously? It's fucking pitiful.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 23, 2011, 12:32:31 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 12:17:15 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 11:58:40 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.

Which part of the post are you referring to?

The video you linked to, with the selling of T-shirts. Brilliant money-making scheme? Seriously? It's fucking pitiful.

His tour has already sold out and I guarantee you hes making a killing off those T-Shirts.

Dignity < Profits
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Jenne on March 23, 2011, 12:38:44 AM
His cocaine will fuel his schtick! 

O mighty drug pimp, please supply Charlie so he can make the grade!

Who here wants to place bets he'll have a lot of "sorry, Charlie's sick, can't perform tonight, on doctor's say-so" on this tour?

...anyone?
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 23, 2011, 01:15:48 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 23, 2011, 12:32:31 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 12:17:15 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 11:58:40 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.

Which part of the post are you referring to?

The video you linked to, with the selling of T-shirts. Brilliant money-making scheme? Seriously? It's fucking pitiful.

His tour has already sold out and I guarantee you hes making a killing off those T-Shirts.

Dignity < Profits

Oh, no, honey. Just no.

Selling T-shirts is a last-ditch methed-out effort of a formerly high-paid celebrity with no savings to hang onto something lost. I am nothing if not a businesswoman, and while the money he makes off those low-quality shirts may be more than you or I make in a year, it's nowhere near enough to pay the mortgage, and you can guarantee he didn't have a backup plan.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: AliceTheProfessional on March 23, 2011, 06:33:54 AM
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 12:17:15 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 11:58:40 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.

Which part of the post are you referring to?

The video you linked to, with the selling of T-shirts. Brilliant money-making scheme? Seriously? It's fucking pitiful.

uh oh, someones got a case of the mondays

(http://www.indium.com/_images/0316/case_of_the_mondays.jpg)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 23, 2011, 05:47:42 PM
THAT WAS FUNNY.

But no, man, seriously. Selling T-shirts is a clear sign of death.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on March 23, 2011, 10:28:46 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 05:47:42 PM
THAT WAS FUNNY.

But no, man, seriously. Selling T-shirts is a clear sign of death.

For an actor, yeah probably. It reminds me of the whole "Save Screech" thing. Which in turn reminds me of that Law and Order episode.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 23, 2011, 10:44:10 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on March 23, 2011, 10:28:46 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 05:47:42 PM
THAT WAS FUNNY.

But no, man, seriously. Selling T-shirts is a clear sign of death.

For an actor, yeah probably. It reminds me of the whole "Save Screech" thing. Which in turn reminds me of that Law and Order episode.

Ouch, but yes.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on March 23, 2011, 10:57:05 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 05:47:42 PM
THAT WAS FUNNY.

But no, man, seriously. Selling T-shirts is a clear sign of death.

Point taken.