Principia Discordia

Aaah, my favorite.

A letter from the IRS.

Yep, new tax levy.  And, yes, the employee still works here.

Boys and girls, take my advice.  Do NOT fuck with the IRS.  They know where you work, they know where you live, and they do NOT fuck around when they want their money.  By the time I get one of these letters, I KNOW they've tried to reach you at home, and you've blown them off.

"Good morning, this is Luna in payroll.  I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.  I've received a federal tax levy that's going to come out of your check, starting next payroll.  There's some paperwork here for you to fill out."

Now, the usual response at this point is often along the line of, "screw you, I'm not filling anything out."  Alternately, there's, "can't you hold off until I talk to them?"  The more reasonable ask, "how much will be coming out?"

Here's how a tax levy works, kids.  It's not "how much will be coming out?"  It's "how much do they let you keep."

If you do NOT fill out the form, I withhold based on Single, one exemption.  We pay biweekly, which means your take-home pay is now $365.38.  No, it doesn't matter how much it was before, that's your net check, and EVERYTHING else gets sent to Uncle Sam until they tell me to stop.  You are not allowed to add any new deductions that are not required.  That's it.  And I'm required by law to do this, sorry, YOUR miserable ass isn't going to be me fired, fined, arrested, or anything else nasty the IRS can think of to do to me.

Now, what I CAN do for you is point out that if you fill out the form and claim your wife and two kids as three additional exemptions, you get to keep $1,015.38... and if you're nice to me, I'll happily explain that, and help you get it done and in before I run this week's payroll.  Hey, if you're a reasonable human, I'll even point out on your copy of the form where the phone number to call the IRS directly is, and tell you that if you call them and make some sort of reasonable plan with them, they'll fax me a release and NOT hose your check.

And I'll take time to explain this to you, if the first thing out of your mouth when you find out what we're talking about isn't a string of profanities and threats.  (Yes, I've been threatened.  No, I'm not impressed.  I know where you live, fuckhead.  I know your phone number, your social security number, and I've got the contact numbers you've given us to call your next of kin...  And if you think you'll get far jumping me at my car in the garage... well, particuarly after I've gotten a threat, you might want to think twice about that one.  I have toys I'd be happy to demonstrate upon your anatomy.)

So, take my advice.  Call the folks at the IRS, throw yourself on your sword for them, make a plan you can actually afford, fill out the damn forms for me, and, hey, how 'bout you pay your fucking taxes on time so I don't lose a half a day dealing with your shit?

The only things certain in life are Death and Navkat kicking your ass.

Quote from: Luna on March 22, 2011, 12:48:51 PM
Aaah, my favorite.

A letter from the IRS.

Yep, new tax levy.  And, yes, the employee still works here.

Boys and girls, take my advice.  Do NOT fuck with the IRS.  They know where you work, they know where you live, and they do NOT fuck around when they want their money.  By the time I get one of these letters, I KNOW they've tried to reach you at home, and you've blown them off.

"Good morning, this is Luna in payroll.  I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.  I've received a federal tax levy that's going to come out of your check, starting next payroll.  There's some paperwork here for you to fill out."

Now, the usual response at this point is often along the line of, "screw you, I'm not filling anything out."  Alternately, there's, "can't you hold off until I talk to them?"  The more reasonable ask, "how much will be coming out?"

Here's how a tax levy works, kids.  It's not "how much will be coming out?"  It's "how much do they let you keep."

If you do NOT fill out the form, I withhold based on Single, one exemption.  We pay biweekly, which means your take-home pay is now $365.38.  No, it doesn't matter how much it was before, that's your net check, and EVERYTHING else gets sent to Uncle Sam until they tell me to stop.  You are not allowed to add any new deductions that are not required.  That's it.  And I'm required by law to do this, sorry, YOUR miserable ass isn't going to be me fired, fined, arrested, or anything else nasty the IRS can think of to do to me.

Now, what I CAN do for you is point out that if you fill out the form and claim your wife and two kids as three additional exemptions, you get to keep $1,015.38... and if you're nice to me, I'll happily explain that, and help you get it done and in before I run this week's payroll.  Hey, if you're a reasonable human, I'll even point out on your copy of the form where the phone number to call the IRS directly is, and tell you that if you call them and make some sort of reasonable plan with them, they'll fax me a release and NOT hose your check.

And I'll take time to explain this to you, if the first thing out of your mouth when you find out what we're talking about isn't a string of profanities and threats.  (Yes, I've been threatened.  No, I'm not impressed.  I know where you live, fuckhead.  I know your phone number, your social security number, and I've got the contact numbers you've given us to call your next of kin...  And if you think you'll get far jumping me at my car in the garage... well, particuarly after I've gotten a threat, you might want to think twice about that one.  I have toys I'd be happy to demonstrate upon your anatomy.)

So, take my advice.  Call the folks at the IRS, throw yourself on your sword for them, make a plan you can actually afford, fill out the damn forms for me, and, hey, how 'bout you pay your fucking taxes on time so I don't lose a half a day dealing with your shit?

brb lolz forever

I gotta say, my experience with the IRS has been that they are pretty nice people. I haven't paid taxes in two years due to complications regarding my divorce and being too broke to pay a bookkeeper, and everyone I've talked to has been super-awesome. I'm like, "SHIT LOL I CAN'T DO MY BOOKS" and they're like "WHOA FUCK, SORRY DUDE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT WE WON'T FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, LIKE MAYBE WE'LL CHARGE YOU $50 BUT THAT AIN'T HARDLY SHIT"

I don't understand why people are so down on the IRS.

Mostly because when people hear IRS, they freak out and react like you would to a lion in your living room.

I gotta confess, if I got audited I would probably feel sorry for them and bake them a pie. Because I have all my records, in that pile right there.

Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 05:54:58 PM
I gotta confess, if I got audited I would probably feel sorry for them and bake them a pie. Because I have all my records, in that pile right there.

Good for ya. 

If I get audited, I'm fucked, all my paperwork is wherever my not-soon-enough-ex-husband put it.

Also I am bizarrely hopeless when it comes to bookkeeping. I am like, "Oh shit, plug a number in! I cannot do!"

You could never guess that I did bookkeeping for large corporations. Oh wait. Borders is going bankrupt. Maybe you can.

The odd thing is, I can do numbers, and finances, and calculation, but only for other people.  I'm sloppy as hell with my personal expenses.  I can't seem to get over it.

Heh.  Bonus problem today.

I get an e-mail telling me that a student is no longer eligible for work study.  Why?

"Oh, she didn't register, she's not a student this semester."

Here's me, looking at all the hours she's worked this semester as a student employee.

Background:  We have two classes of student employees, work study, who are paid through federal funds (which is where she got caught), and payroll students, who are paid by the university.  In both cases, because they are students employed at an educational facility which they are attending, they are exempt from FICA taxes.

Except, of course, if you cease to attend classes.

Little girl owes FICA taxes on two months worth of checks.

And I gotta figure how to do this.

Hopefully she's worked enough hours for the upcoming check to pay off the FICA she owes.

So, I get a call from the front desk.

An employee is telling the secretary that his supervisor is manually punching him out in the system at 1:30, but he's not DONE until after that, is he getting paid for that time?

1...  Why isn't he punching himself out?
2...  If the manager is punching him out wrong, it's a massive Department of Labor issue.
3...  This is NOT my problem.  I pay the time handed to me on the timecard.
4...  The secretary really SHOULD know this is an HR issue, not a payroll issue, putting me on the spot by putting me on speaker, NOT appreciated.

One of my coworkers got fucked by the IRS through one of these. Someone in California stole his SSN and actually filed a tax claim with it. IRS figures they were screwed out of money so they took it from him. He says it would have cost more money to fight it than they were taking and it would have taken years to get back the money anyway, so he had to just take it up the ass from the IRS for about 6 months. Didn't help that he was going through a divorce at the time because his wife had destroyed his credit.

Quote from: Iason Ouabache on March 25, 2011, 11:13:10 PM
One of my coworkers got fucked by the IRS through one of these. Someone in California stole his SSN and actually filed a tax claim with it. IRS figures they were screwed out of money so they took it from him. He says it would have cost more money to fight it than they were taking and it would have taken years to get back the money anyway, so he had to just take it up the ass from the IRS for about 6 months. Didn't help that he was going through a divorce at the time because his wife had destroyed his credit.

That blows a lot.  The worst part is hearing stories like that, and knowing there's not a damn thing you, as an employer, can do but withhold the money.

FUCK.

I've been getting calls since Friday.  "Where's my paycheck?"

Well, the mailroom picked the damn things up Thursday.  I call the mailroom on Friday.  "Oh, yes, they went out."

Monday.  More calls.

Today, MORE calls.

Today, e-mail from my boss.  "The checks are still at the mailroom."

Fuck me sideways.

I've got some REALLY pissed off people, here.

Oh I'd be pissed as hell.  But at least now you know who to blame.

Quote from: Jenne on March 29, 2011, 02:19:59 PM
Oh I'd be pissed as hell.  But at least now you know who to blame.

Somebody gimme a sword.  I'm going down there to teach them whole new definitions of the word "postal."

:lulz:  Mailroom flunkies!

 :argh!:

I HATE it when payroll is delayed by the stupidity of others.  If I hose it up and have to work late, it's my own damn fault.  When someone asks me, "is it okay to do this tomorrow," and I respond, "no, I have to have this done as soon as possible, it's holding up payroll," that's sort of a clue that I need it NOW, right?

You'd think "holding up payroll" would be the magic phrase, right?

Apparently not.  I call back an hour later, and it's not done.  "I can't go home until this payroll is finished.  I need it NOW."

"Oh, sorry, I'll get right on it."

(http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o205/3bkph/headdesk.gif)

Bloody.  Fucking.  HELL.

I had ONE thing to do, today, around all the other bloody shite I have to get done on a weekly basis around here.

Doing this thing required I get a password from a specific person in IT.  Boss and I tried this yesterday, but said IT person left at noon.  Boss is off today, so he told me "do this."

Okay.

I'm aware that I left both a voice and an e-mail message for this IT person, AND the boss left voice messages on both her work phone and her personal cell phone.  Not wishing to drive her bugshit, I patiently await her return call.  She's good, she knows me, she ALWAYS returns messages.

Lunchtime comes and goes.  Nothing.

3:00 rolls around.  Still nothing.  Is she in today?  Maybe she took a long weekend?

Better check.

Nope, she's at her desk.  "What, you didn't get the message?  I called at 10:00, <name redacted, idiot coworker> answered, said you'd stepped away from your desk."

No.  No, she didn't tell me she called, despite the fact that she was FULLY aware that the boss and I had spent all afternoon yesterday trying to reach her, and she MUST have heard him tell me to get this done today.

:argh!:   :argh!:   :argh!:   :argh!:   :argh!:   :argh!: 

Quote from: Luna on March 30, 2011, 08:58:03 PM
:argh!:

I HATE it when payroll is delayed by the stupidity of others.  If I hose it up and have to work late, it's my own damn fault.  When someone asks me, "is it okay to do this tomorrow," and I respond, "no, I have to have this done as soon as possible, it's holding up payroll," that's sort of a clue that I need it NOW, right?

You'd think "holding up payroll" would be the magic phrase, right?

Apparently not.  I call back an hour later, and it's not done.  "I can't go home until this payroll is finished.  I need it NOW."

"Oh, sorry, I'll get right on it."

(http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o205/3bkph/headdesk.gif)

Sounds like you know who's payroll needs to take last priority.

Quote from: BabylonHoruv on April 01, 2011, 08:34:11 PM

Quote from: Luna on March 30, 2011, 08:58:03 PM
:argh!:

I HATE it when payroll is delayed by the stupidity of others.  If I hose it up and have to work late, it's my own damn fault.  When someone asks me, "is it okay to do this tomorrow," and I respond, "no, I have to have this done as soon as possible, it's holding up payroll," that's sort of a clue that I need it NOW, right?

You'd think "holding up payroll" would be the magic phrase, right?

Apparently not.  I call back an hour later, and it's not done.  "I can't go home until this payroll is finished.  I need it NOW."

"Oh, sorry, I'll get right on it."

(http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o205/3bkph/headdesk.gif)

Sounds like you know who's payroll needs to take last priority.

I will not say that the thought of accidentally his direct deposit did not occur to me.

You're a good person not to think or do that.

I swear, I'm out of here.

First, an employee comes in yesterday, saying that he got two direct deposits on the 2/25 pay date.  I can't look into it, my coworker had a "migraine" (read, most likely, "job interview") and left me to deal with finishing payroll on my own.

He comes back today with more information, specifically, the exact amounts of the deposits, which means I can actually look into it.

I'm digging into it.  I get an e-mail from the receptionist stating "Here is the contact number for "John Smith" whenever you get a chance to look into that for him," because he came back in to see what was going on.  I keep looking...  Walk up front for something unrelated, pass behind her desk...  And see, open on her screen, a response to that message from my boss stating, "thanks for telling me, let me know her response, I know I won't hear it from her."

So, now I ALSO have the receptionist trying to get me bloody fired, in addition to my idiot coworker, who CAUSED the problem in the first place (and I can TRACK that, she entered a change in "John Smith's" direct deposit to deposit somebody else's check into his new account, and left his old account active.)

Aaaand, the boss forwarded our entire conversation to the co-worker, including me informing him (with the paper trail he requested) that she screwed up, and chewed her out, copy to me.  THAT is gonna make life comfy around here.

Quote from: Luna on April 07, 2011, 09:02:56 PM
Aaaand, the boss forwarded our entire conversation to the co-worker, including me informing him (with the paper trail he requested) that she screwed up, and chewed her out, copy to me.  THAT is gonna make life comfy around here.

Your only option is to run with it.  Don't apologize, don't bat a fucking eyelash.

If she confronts you on it, tell her to fuck off and do her damn job.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 07, 2011, 09:04:04 PM

Quote from: Luna on April 07, 2011, 09:02:56 PM
Aaaand, the boss forwarded our entire conversation to the co-worker, including me informing him (with the paper trail he requested) that she screwed up, and chewed her out, copy to me.  THAT is gonna make life comfy around here.

Your only option is to run with it.  Don't apologize, don't bat a fucking eyelash.

If she confronts you on it, tell her to fuck off and do her damn job.

This

Or blunt force trauma.

rail that bitch Luna.   :argh!:

You need to apply for that job at Brown.

Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 08, 2011, 02:59:51 AM
You need to apply for that job at Brown.

The one she's looking at?  I'm seriously tempted.  That'd be funny as hell.

She didn't say a fucking word about it before she left.

Oh, sweet gods and fuzzy blue devils...

The e-mail exchange between a supervisor and payroll, paraphrased and somewhat reconstructed...

Supervisor to Co-Worker:  Employee was overpaid by $7,000.

Co-Worker:  I'll look into it after we finish this payroll.

Supervisor to Co-Worker, copy me and the boss:  Um...  Employee was overpaid by $7,000?

Boss:  WHAT?

Co-Worker:  I told her I'd look into it after payroll was done.

Me:  (Keeping yap shut, thinking, "If he WAS overpaid, I can reverse the direct deposit today, but probably NOT tomorrow....)

Turns out the employee was NOT overpaid...  But, "Yeah, I'll get to it" when an error of THAT size is reported?    (http://209.85.48.11/13545/64/emo/headdesk.gif)

So...  The boss, co-worker, and I discuss an issue with an employee who paid FICA tax when he should not have.  (Foreign national, and HR failed to inform us of the fact... and I flat-out refuse to ask every bloody time we get a new hire, or even a new hire with a "funny" name.)

I explain, in detail, with screenshots, that the system will NOT pay a negative amount in taxes; if you try by putting in a negative taxable amount balanced by a positive NON-taxable amount, it just zeros out, and does not refund the taxes.  I am forced to demonstrate this in the conference room on the big screen.  Twice.

We argue back and forth, I agree, yes, this is stupid, however, this is how the system works.

We decide that boss will check with the finance department, we'll reverse the paid checks and issue new checks with a deduction of the paid amount in order to correct the system and give him his couple hundred of bucks.

I get an e-mail today.  "Was this done?"

Um...  Still waiting for the go from you, boss...  If I just issue the checks WITHOUT reversing the prior checks, he'll have double the  earnings recorded.

His response:  "LET'S DISCUSS THIS NEXT WEEK."  Caps his.

I swear.

We employ morons.

One department is the worst offender.

Today's excitement?  Police officers on campus to pick up the idiot who got caught smoking pot, on the clock, sitting in his car.

By his immediate supervisor's boss.

 :horrormirth:


You could, you know, come work for a public university...

"Timesheets are due by 10:00 AM Monday."

Is there anything vague about that?  Remotely?

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 04:59:30 PM
"Timesheets are due by 10:00 AM Monday."

Is there anything vague about that?  Remotely?

Wait...you meant this Monday?

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 04:59:30 PM
"Timesheets are due by 10:00 AM Monday."

Is there anything vague about that?  Remotely?

Last weeks' timesheets, or this weeks' timesheets?

But isn't Monday a holiday? 

I hate you all.

In the face.

With Richter's second, third, and fourth favorite anvils (respectively... and, yes, he has enough to go around).

Oh-- Do they have to be signed?

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:32:44 PM
I hate you all.

In the face.

With Richter's second, third, and fourth favorite anvils (respectively... and, yes, he has enough to go around).

:lulz:

I can only assume we were pretty close to the mark.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on May 24, 2011, 05:33:37 PM
Oh-- Do they have to be signed?

Can I just type my name in? 

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on May 24, 2011, 05:33:37 PM
Oh-- Do they have to be signed?

Yes, and I don't care HOW many times you write it, 12:30 PM - 3:00 PM is NOT 3 1/2 hours.

Quote from: R.W.H.N. on May 24, 2011, 05:35:14 PM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on May 24, 2011, 05:33:37 PM
Oh-- Do they have to be signed?

Can I just type my name in? 

Sure.  And I'll just draw your paycheck in crayon.

Quote from: Charley Brown on May 24, 2011, 05:34:02 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:32:44 PM
I hate you all.

In the face.

With Richter's second, third, and fourth favorite anvils (respectively... and, yes, he has enough to go around).

:lulz:

I can only assume we were pretty close to the mark.

Dead on.

Some days, I truly want to go, grab the swords out of the car, and teach these people whole new definitions of the phrase "going postal."

You don't need all the lunch punches anyway, just guess.

Quote from: Charley Brown on May 24, 2011, 05:36:28 PM
You don't need all the lunch punches anyway, just guess.

Nope.  You forget to punch in and out for lunch, I just dock you an hour, and notify your supervisor that you're a nitwit who needs his/her lunch hour supervised.

Please add 3 vacation days on my check so I can go to afford to go to the lake this weekend. I know it will put me at 64 hours but that shouldn't matter.

I lost mine.  Can't I just call you and tell you how many hours I worked?

I was reading my e-mail while I was eating my sandwich.  So I can count that as work right? 

Quote from: Charley Brown on May 24, 2011, 05:39:25 PM
Please add 3 vacation days on my check so I can go to afford to go to the lake this weekend. I know it will put me at 64 hours but that shouldn't matter.

Yep.  Heard that one.

It'll also overdraw you by 6 hours of vacation.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on May 24, 2011, 05:40:41 PM
I lost mine.  Can't I just call you and tell you how many hours I worked?

Sure.  Put your supervisor on the line, please.

Quote from: R.W.H.N. on May 24, 2011, 05:42:03 PM
I was reading my e-mail while I was eating my sandwich.  So I can count that as work right? 

Actually...  If it's your work e-mail, it does...

Why does my supervisor need to approve my time card? I already filled it out.

Quote from: Charley Brown on May 24, 2011, 05:44:30 PM
Why does my supervisor need to approve my time card? I already filled it out.

Because you're a lying fuckwit, and we both know it.

(Oh, sweet gods, this feels good...)  :kiss:

This job sucks.  I quit.  Can I have my check now?

Quote from: R.W.H.N. on May 24, 2011, 05:50:52 PM
This job sucks.  I quit.  Can I have my check now?

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, and, no, you get your check with everybody else's next Friday.  If I'm in a GOOD mood, I'll get your vacation payout in that one, and if not, it'll be another two weeks.

Oh, and, you quit, which means you can't collect unemployment.   :p

Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Thank you, gentlemen, I feel much better.   :D

Back to it.

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like a good way to give the state the finger.

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

As I was just told today.

Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on May 24, 2011, 06:08:33 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like a good way to give the state the finger.

Yes and no.  OUR rates go up because we have more injuries.

Also, we get to waste time every year because a half-dozen to a dozen nitwits file, anyway, and we have to take the time out to respond, "No.  He's not eligible.  Here's a copy of his letter saying, "see your ass back here in the fall."

Add in the fact that at least five or six of these people stay on the books all summer (with paid health insurance), then decide NOT to come back.

Quote from: Suu on May 24, 2011, 06:10:07 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

As I was just told today.

Also, student position, not eligible.

See also: my layoff thread.

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like state laws are fucked in the head.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 07:11:22 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like state laws are fucked in the head.

Yes and no.  Without this setup, teachers could (and do try to, I see at least one a year try it) demand through their unions that they be paid through the school year and NOT paid over the summer, then apply for and try to receive unemployment from the state.  They're NOT bloody unemployed, they just took a job where, instead of getting 10 days of vacation a year, they get a set three month vacation (during which they're still getting benefits like health insurance).

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 07:21:25 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 07:11:22 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like state laws are fucked in the head.

Yes and no.  Without this setup, teachers could (and do try to, I see at least one a year try it) demand through their unions that they be paid through the school year and NOT paid over the summer, then apply for and try to receive unemployment from the state.  They're NOT bloody unemployed, they just took a job where, instead of getting 10 days of vacation a year, they get a set three month vacation (during which they're still getting benefits like health insurance).

Your teachers are paid hourly rather than an annual salary?  :?

Seriously, I cannot imagine how that could be a real problem, at least if your state handles teacher's salaries the way most do. A 12-month contract with a salary is very very different from an hourly job.

All you need to know is that Rhode Island is broken.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 07:55:13 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 07:21:25 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 07:11:22 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like state laws are fucked in the head.

Yes and no.  Without this setup, teachers could (and do try to, I see at least one a year try it) demand through their unions that they be paid through the school year and NOT paid over the summer, then apply for and try to receive unemployment from the state.  They're NOT bloody unemployed, they just took a job where, instead of getting 10 days of vacation a year, they get a set three month vacation (during which they're still getting benefits like health insurance).

Your teachers are paid hourly rather than an annual salary?  :?

No, they get an annual salary...  They just want that salary paid over the time that they're here (22 larger instead of 26 smaller checks), so they can collect unemployment over the summer.

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 08:10:07 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 07:55:13 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 07:21:25 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 07:11:22 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 05:59:13 PM
Today's added bit of joy.

This is a university, which means, during the summer, we cut WAY back on our dining staff.  (Minimal number of kids here, we don't need the full kitchen.)

Law in this state is that if you take a job at a school, and are laid off for the summer with reasonable assurance of reemployment in the fall, you can NOT collect unemployment.

So, now, just before graduation, we get a rash of mysterious, disabling injuries among the dining staff.  Departments where we go all year without an incident suddenly have three guys hurt themselves at once.

They go, collect TDI.  We fume, 'cause we can't prove shit.

Sounds like state laws are fucked in the head.

Yes and no.  Without this setup, teachers could (and do try to, I see at least one a year try it) demand through their unions that they be paid through the school year and NOT paid over the summer, then apply for and try to receive unemployment from the state.  They're NOT bloody unemployed, they just took a job where, instead of getting 10 days of vacation a year, they get a set three month vacation (during which they're still getting benefits like health insurance).

Your teachers are paid hourly rather than an annual salary?  :?

No, they get an annual salary...  They just want that salary paid over the time that they're here (22 larger instead of 26 smaller checks), so they can collect unemployment over the summer.

For unemployment purposes, that wouldn't matter if they have an annual salary and a contract. They could get paid in a lump sum in September, and it would still not matter for purposes of collecting unemployment. I call straw man argument. Your state's unemployment laws are fucked in the head.

People who earn an hourly wage are in a different boat. They should be (and in my state are) able to collect unemployment during the months that they are not actually earning wages due to a seasonal layoff. We wouldn't have any smokejumpers otherwise.

Quote from: Suu on May 24, 2011, 08:03:31 PM
All you need to know is that Rhode Island is broken.

This seems very accurate.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:22:56 PM
For unemployment purposes, that wouldn't matter if they have an annual salary and a contract. They could get paid in a lump sum in September, and it would still not matter for purposes of unemployment. I call straw man argument.

People who earn an hourly wage are in a different boat. They should be (and in my state are) able to collect unemployment during the months that they are not actually earning wages due to a seasonal layoff. We wouldn't have any smokejumpers otherwise.

Oh, I understand the argument, but that's not how the law is written.  The argument from the teachers is that they are effectively unemployed, not working, over the summer.  (Trust me, I've had them here in my office trying to argue it with me, trying to convince me that switching them to a nine or ten month pay cycle will let them collect what they feel entitled to.)

Do I feel bad for the hourly guys caught by the same argument?  Yes... but when they took the job, I know that they were told that's how it works, and that they can't collect.  It's not a surprise.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:23:52 PM

Quote from: Suu on May 24, 2011, 08:03:31 PM
All you need to know is that Rhode Island is broken.

This seems very accurate.

Oh, absolutely.  But we've gotta deal with the laws we've got.

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 08:29:47 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:22:56 PM
For unemployment purposes, that wouldn't matter if they have an annual salary and a contract. They could get paid in a lump sum in September, and it would still not matter for purposes of unemployment. I call straw man argument.

People who earn an hourly wage are in a different boat. They should be (and in my state are) able to collect unemployment during the months that they are not actually earning wages due to a seasonal layoff. We wouldn't have any smokejumpers otherwise.

Oh, I understand the argument, but that's not how the law is written.  The argument from the teachers is that they are effectively unemployed, not working, over the summer.  (Trust me, I've had them here in my office trying to argue it with me, trying to convince me that switching them to a nine or ten month pay cycle will let them collect what they feel entitled to.)

Do I feel bad for the hourly guys caught by the same argument?  Yes... but when they took the job, I know that they were told that's how it works, and that they can't collect.  It's not a surprise.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:23:52 PM

Quote from: Suu on May 24, 2011, 08:03:31 PM
All you need to know is that Rhode Island is broken.

This seems very accurate.

Oh, absolutely.  But we've gotta deal with the laws we've got.

The teachers are stupid for making that argument. It's an idiotic argument. But the teachers being stupid is kind of irrelevant... stupid people are everywhere. It's supposed to be the job of the people who write the law to make sure it's not moronic.

The law is stupid for lumping hourly and salaried workers together.

Mind-bogglingly stupid, in fact.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:32:44 PM

The teachers are stupid for making that argument. It's an idiotic argument. But the teachers being stupid is kind of irrelevant... stupid people are everywhere. It's supposed to be the job of the people who write the law to make sure it's not moronic.

The law is stupid for lumping hourly and salaried workers together.

The professors here couldn't collect over the summer, regardless of how they were paid, since they have a contract.

QuoteProfessional and non-professional employees of educational institutions, educational service agencies and certain other educational employers may be eligible for unemployment ONLY if they do not have a contract or if their employer has not provided written reasonable assurance of their employment for the following year, term or remainder of a term. State law requires each school department to provide reasonable assurance in writing to those individuals who will be unemployed during the summer but will return to work once the summer break ends. If teachers, professional and non-professional educational employees, DO have a contract or written reasonable assurance of employment, they are ineligible to collect unemployment insurance benefits using their educational wages.

http://www.dlt.state.ri.us/ui/teachers.htm

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 08:37:04 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:32:44 PM

The teachers are stupid for making that argument. It's an idiotic argument. But the teachers being stupid is kind of irrelevant... stupid people are everywhere. It's supposed to be the job of the people who write the law to make sure it's not moronic.

The law is stupid for lumping hourly and salaried workers together.

The professors here couldn't collect over the summer, regardless of how they were paid, since they have a contract.

QuoteProfessional and non-professional employees of educational institutions, educational service agencies and certain other educational employers may be eligible for unemployment ONLY if they do not have a contract or if their employer has not provided written reasonable assurance of their employment for the following year, term or remainder of a term. State law requires each school department to provide reasonable assurance in writing to those individuals who will be unemployed during the summer but will return to work once the summer break ends. If teachers, professional and non-professional educational employees, DO have a contract or written reasonable assurance of employment, they are ineligible to collect unemployment insurance benefits using their educational wages.

http://www.dlt.state.ri.us/ui/teachers.htm

Right. That's completely normal.

What's NOT normal is uncontracted hourly wage employees being unable to collect unemployment during summer months because the position resumes in the fall. IF that's actually the case, the law is seriously borked.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:52:46 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 08:37:04 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:32:44 PM

The teachers are stupid for making that argument. It's an idiotic argument. But the teachers being stupid is kind of irrelevant... stupid people are everywhere. It's supposed to be the job of the people who write the law to make sure it's not moronic.

The law is stupid for lumping hourly and salaried workers together.

The professors here couldn't collect over the summer, regardless of how they were paid, since they have a contract.

QuoteProfessional and non-professional employees of educational institutions, educational service agencies and certain other educational employers may be eligible for unemployment ONLY if they do not have a contract or if their employer has not provided written reasonable assurance of their employment for the following year, term or remainder of a term. State law requires each school department to provide reasonable assurance in writing to those individuals who will be unemployed during the summer but will return to work once the summer break ends. If teachers, professional and non-professional educational employees, DO have a contract or written reasonable assurance of employment, they are ineligible to collect unemployment insurance benefits using their educational wages.

http://www.dlt.state.ri.us/ui/teachers.htm

Right. That's completely normal.

What's NOT normal is uncontracted hourly wage employees being unable to collect unemployment during summer months because the position resumes in the fall. IF that's actually the case, the law is seriously borked.

They're contracted, actually.  Union.

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 08:54:42 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:52:46 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 08:37:04 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 08:32:44 PM

The teachers are stupid for making that argument. It's an idiotic argument. But the teachers being stupid is kind of irrelevant... stupid people are everywhere. It's supposed to be the job of the people who write the law to make sure it's not moronic.

The law is stupid for lumping hourly and salaried workers together.

The professors here couldn't collect over the summer, regardless of how they were paid, since they have a contract.

QuoteProfessional and non-professional employees of educational institutions, educational service agencies and certain other educational employers may be eligible for unemployment ONLY if they do not have a contract or if their employer has not provided written reasonable assurance of their employment for the following year, term or remainder of a term. State law requires each school department to provide reasonable assurance in writing to those individuals who will be unemployed during the summer but will return to work once the summer break ends. If teachers, professional and non-professional educational employees, DO have a contract or written reasonable assurance of employment, they are ineligible to collect unemployment insurance benefits using their educational wages.

http://www.dlt.state.ri.us/ui/teachers.htm

Right. That's completely normal.

What's NOT normal is uncontracted hourly wage employees being unable to collect unemployment during summer months because the position resumes in the fall. IF that's actually the case, the law is seriously borked.

They're contracted, actually.  Union.

The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:17:29 PM
The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

They are hourly, and under a union contract, yes.  And, yes, the union hasn't done anything to cover them during the summer.

In RI, presumably, it's the concept that "you KNEW you weren't going to work over the summer, since it's a school, and voluntarily took the position with that understanding in mind, so it's NOT involuntary."

Is what it is. 

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 09:21:48 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:17:29 PM
The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

They are hourly, and under a union contract, yes.  And, yes, the union hasn't done anything to cover them during the summer.

In RI, presumably, it's the concept that "you KNEW you weren't going to work over the summer, since it's a school, and voluntarily took the position with that understanding in mind, so it's NOT involuntary."

Is what it is. 

I'm not saying it isn't, I'm saying it's stupid.

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:27:06 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 09:21:48 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:17:29 PM
The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

They are hourly, and under a union contract, yes.  And, yes, the union hasn't done anything to cover them during the summer.

In RI, presumably, it's the concept that "you KNEW you weren't going to work over the summer, since it's a school, and voluntarily took the position with that understanding in mind, so it's NOT involuntary."

Is what it is. 

I'm not saying it isn't, I'm saying it's stupid.

Side note, I'd probably be a lot more sympathetic to them if they weren't a fucking nightmare to deal with every goddamn payroll.  As a group, they're the WORST abusers of paid time off.  When you are given 15 sick days a year, accruing up to 45 days, and you have people running out, not from taking a leave of absence, but from taking a day every time they get one... 

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 09:30:05 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:27:06 PM

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 09:21:48 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:17:29 PM
The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

They are hourly, and under a union contract, yes.  And, yes, the union hasn't done anything to cover them during the summer.

In RI, presumably, it's the concept that "you KNEW you weren't going to work over the summer, since it's a school, and voluntarily took the position with that understanding in mind, so it's NOT involuntary."

Is what it is. 

I'm not saying it isn't, I'm saying it's stupid.

Side note, I'd probably be a lot more sympathetic to them if they weren't a fucking nightmare to deal with every goddamn payroll.  As a group, they're the WORST abusers of paid time off.  When you are given 15 sick days a year, accruing up to 45 days, and you have people running out, not from taking a leave of absence, but from taking a day every time they get one... 

I know what you mean. Terri had over a month worth of sick time she used to recover from surgery. Because she never takes a sick day, ever.

I'd probably abuse the shit out of it too, if I knew I was gonna get laid off and couldn't collect unemployment over the summer.  :lulz: Do they at least get paid out for unused PTO at the end of the year? Or is it "use it or lose it"?

Nothing is use it or lose it.  Sick time goes away at termination, but you get your vacation paid out.  (In addition to 15 sick days, they accrue 13/19/24 vacation days, accruing up to 19.5/28.5/36 (depending on seniority), which IS paid out at termination.  You accrue a prorated amount each pay period, until you hit the cap, then you stop accruing until you use time.

I'm currently capped on sick time.

So...  they fired me on June 3rd.  I just spoke to a friend from the benefits department, who passed on that my nitwit coworker, the one who'd been quietly stabbing me in the back for months if not years, had a minor stroke.

They are SO hosed.

Quote from: Luna on June 24, 2011, 03:46:53 PM
So...  they fired me on June 3rd.  I just spoke to a friend from the benefits department, who passed on that my nitwit coworker, the one who'd been quietly stabbing me in the back for months if not years, had a minor stroke.

They are SO hosed.

They might call you back.

I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible.

Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 24, 2011, 03:55:23 PM

Quote from: Luna on June 24, 2011, 03:46:53 PM
So...  they fired me on June 3rd.  I just spoke to a friend from the benefits department, who passed on that my nitwit coworker, the one who'd been quietly stabbing me in the back for months if not years, had a minor stroke.

They are SO hosed.

They might call you back.

I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible.

Fuck them.  Sideways.

Unless they're offering a raise, lost wages, and the restoration of the vacation time they paid out (I'll call that my bonus for the bullshit), they can go to hell.

Quote from: Luna on June 24, 2011, 04:48:09 PM

Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 24, 2011, 03:55:23 PM

Quote from: Luna on June 24, 2011, 03:46:53 PM
So...  they fired me on June 3rd.  I just spoke to a friend from the benefits department, who passed on that my nitwit coworker, the one who'd been quietly stabbing me in the back for months if not years, had a minor stroke.

They are SO hosed.

They might call you back.

I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible.

Fuck them.  Sideways.

Unless they're offering a raise, lost wages, and the restoration of the vacation time they paid out (I'll call that my bonus for the bullshit), they can go to hell.

That is some funny shit, Luna. Let us know when they call you, begging and pleading.

I DO hope she makes a full recovery, I wouldn't wish that shit on anybody.

However...

I find the timing terribly, horribly ironic.  She has had blood pressure issues...  I can only assume that the stress of not even three weeks of running the payroll department, with the other coworker AND the boss there, full time, pushed her over the edge to a stroke, when I ran the damn place solo for MONTHS until I walked in with a note stating, "she's done, I'm giving her three months off, love, Dr. Shrink."  As nobody else knew how to run a payroll, there were immediate actions taken, and they hired me "help," in the form of a supervisor, making more than me, who I had to train, and who freaked out and quit within four months.

The other coworker IS capable of running the student payrolls, however, she'd never run a staff payroll...  And the boss is bloody useless.

It must be utter chaos over there.

Spent an entire hour this morning explaining to someone how an annualized salary works.

From July 1 to June 30, you are to be paid X dollars.  Per the contract, you get that in 26 payments, between July 1 and June 30.  The last pay date for last year was June 17th, the first of this year was July 1st.  Your last day was June 30th, so your last paycheck was June 17th.

You are not owed money.

You got over $12k in retirement and unused vacation, you are not hurting.

Yes, the taxes on that sucked.

Get out of my fucking office.

They do not pay me enough for this shit.

This week (first week the teachers get paid), I have discovered 15 people who would have been paid who no longer work here.

FIFTEEN.

I should get a fucking bonus.

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 01:42:32 PM
They do not pay me enough for this shit.

This week (first week the teachers get paid), I have discovered 15 people who would have been paid who no longer work here.

FIFTEEN.

I should get a fucking bonus.

You should. Tell them that.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 23, 2011, 06:35:55 PM

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 01:42:32 PM
They do not pay me enough for this shit.

This week (first week the teachers get paid), I have discovered 15 people who would have been paid who no longer work here.

FIFTEEN.

I should get a fucking bonus.

You should. Tell them that.

AGREED.

Quote from: Jenne on August 23, 2011, 07:18:41 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 23, 2011, 06:35:55 PM

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 01:42:32 PM
They do not pay me enough for this shit.

This week (first week the teachers get paid), I have discovered 15 people who would have been paid who no longer work here.

FIFTEEN.

I should get a fucking bonus.

You should. Tell them that.

AGREED.

Boss here knows.  I am from a temp agency, though, which means he has zero control over how I am paid.

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 07:20:24 PM

Quote from: Jenne on August 23, 2011, 07:18:41 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 23, 2011, 06:35:55 PM

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 01:42:32 PM
They do not pay me enough for this shit.

This week (first week the teachers get paid), I have discovered 15 people who would have been paid who no longer work here.

FIFTEEN.

I should get a fucking bonus.

You should. Tell them that.

AGREED.

Boss here knows.  I am from a temp agency, though, which means he has zero control over how I am paid.

He can pass it up the line, though. Or at least give you a letter for your file at the temp agency. "A++, would temp-hire again!"

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 24, 2011, 04:41:04 AM

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 07:20:24 PM

Quote from: Jenne on August 23, 2011, 07:18:41 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 23, 2011, 06:35:55 PM

Quote from: Luna on August 23, 2011, 01:42:32 PM
They do not pay me enough for this shit.

This week (first week the teachers get paid), I have discovered 15 people who would have been paid who no longer work here.

FIFTEEN.

I should get a fucking bonus.

You should. Tell them that.

AGREED.

Boss here knows.  I am from a temp agency, though, which means he has zero control over how I am paid.

He can pass it up the line, though. Or at least give you a letter for your file at the temp agency. "A++, would temp-hire again!"

Yep, that'd be useful.  The feedback I'm getting through the actual boss has been good, anyway.

Me to Useless HR Chick:  (Name) went from salaried to part time hourly, the new rate and GL number to charge her to aren't in the system.

UHRC:  Do you need those?

Me:    :whack:

Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2011, 04:05:46 PM
Me to Useless HR Chick:  (Name) went from salaried to part time hourly, the new rate and GL number to charge her to aren't in the system.

UHRC:  Do you need those?

Me:    :whack:

O.o I'm so sorry.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 24, 2011, 07:05:25 PM

Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2011, 04:05:46 PM
Me to Useless HR Chick:  (Name) went from salaried to part time hourly, the new rate and GL number to charge her to aren't in the system.

UHRC:  Do you need those?

Me:    :whack:

O.o I'm so sorry.

The person I am replacing did this job for over 20 years.  She helped set up the existing system.  Tell her "part time secretary at the high school" and she could rattle off the correct pay rate and the GL number (32 digits) from memory.  She taught UHRC to be useless.

Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2011, 07:17:45 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 24, 2011, 07:05:25 PM

Quote from: Luna on August 24, 2011, 04:05:46 PM
Me to Useless HR Chick:  (Name) went from salaried to part time hourly, the new rate and GL number to charge her to aren't in the system.

UHRC:  Do you need those?

Me:    :whack:

O.o I'm so sorry.

The person I am replacing did this job for over 20 years.  She helped set up the existing system.  Tell her "part time secretary at the high school" and she could rattle off the correct pay rate and the GL number (32 digits) from memory.  She taught UHRC to be useless.

Sounds like a great story for a series called "When Awesome and Fail Collide".

Awesome gets a freakin' migrane...

Rereading this thread fills me with  :horrormirth:.

I've been quiet lately because I am supposed to get the hell out of this temp job, and am training my replacement.  She was hired for 24 hours a week and has no practical payroll experience, or tact, or sense.

They want me to implement a swap from in house payroll processing to ADP (a payroll processing company), so this will work.

It won't.

They are fucked, and I have decided that it ain't my problem.

Fair enough. Sometimes you have to end up at that point.

I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

:aaa:

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 02:36:58 PM
I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

:aaa:

:eek:

That's... um...

sort of criminally incompetent, isn't it?

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 02:36:58 PM
I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

:aaa:

WOW.

I'm glad you're getting the hell out of there. Can you even imagine the legal fallout if her purse got stolen?

Quote from: Nigel on February 04, 2012, 04:14:39 PM

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 02:36:58 PM
I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

:aaa:

WOW.

I'm glad you're getting the hell out of there. Can you even imagine the legal fallout if her purse got stolen?

Yes.  I can.

Letters to every employee involved, saying, "we were careless, and you live the rest of your life in fear of identity theft."  Legal bills.  The unions going (properly) batshit.

Jesus fuck. How do you not know not to take that kind of shit home?

Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on February 04, 2012, 08:04:26 PM
Jesus fuck. How do you not know not to take that kind of shit home?

Beats the everloving hell out of me.  I presume it's because she hasn't worked in the past ten years, due to being a stay-at-home mom.    She is, I note, a friend of one of the administrators, which is how I presume she got the job, given that there were 26 applications, two interviews, and the one person they interviewed already works in the office, had been told she would be the first candidate for the job, and has seven years of experience doing payroll, WITH the system we are switching over to using.

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 07:16:21 PM

Quote from: Nigel on February 04, 2012, 04:14:39 PM

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 02:36:58 PM
I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

:aaa:

WOW.

I'm glad you're getting the hell out of there. Can you even imagine the legal fallout if her purse got stolen?

Yes.  I can.

Letters to every employee involved, saying, "we were careless, and you live the rest of your life in fear of identity theft."  Legal bills.  The unions going (properly) batshit.

My own perspective is only from banking, but there may be some requirement to provide ID theft monitoring and resolution services to any client (internal or external) who's personal info is compromised.  Even if not required, they are cheap to provide compared to the criminal and civil fallout of only a few of those producing ID theft incidents.  If anything more serious happens, make certain to get paper trail showing you brought this to your boss and/or other appropriate department authority.  It's a good way to avoid anyone trying to say later that you committed "willful blindness" to the issue. 

Quote from: Richter on February 04, 2012, 10:48:14 PM

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 07:16:21 PM

Quote from: Nigel on February 04, 2012, 04:14:39 PM

Quote from: Luna on February 04, 2012, 02:36:58 PM
I was originally told that this new hire had "extensive" payroll experience.  Then it was, "well, no ACTUAL payroll experience, but she was in Human Resources."  No...  She was in "Mergers and Acquisitions."  I saw her resume, she has exactly no experience in HR or Payroll.  You can tell, by the fact that she, without consulting anybody, grabbed a whole payroll register (containing, among other such data useless to ANYBODY), full names, unredacted social security numbers, home addresses, birth dates, and salary, shoved it in her bag, and TOOK IT HOME WITH HER. 

The fit I pitched at her boss didn't even raise an eyebrow, he just said he'd let her know "how personal the information was."

:aaa:

WOW.

I'm glad you're getting the hell out of there. Can you even imagine the legal fallout if her purse got stolen?

Yes.  I can.

Letters to every employee involved, saying, "we were careless, and you live the rest of your life in fear of identity theft."  Legal bills.  The unions going (properly) batshit.

My own perspective is only from banking, but there may be some requirement to provide ID theft monitoring and resolution services to any client (internal or external) who's personal info is compromised.  Even if not required, they are cheap to provide compared to the criminal and civil fallout of only a few of those producing ID theft incidents.  If anything more serious happens, make certain to get paper trail showing you brought this to your boss and/or other appropriate department authority.  It's a good way to avoid anyone trying to say later that you committed "willful blindness" to the issue.

I don't have any paper trail, unfortunately, I told the boss, verbally.  However, the woman who shares the office is also aware, and knows that I told the boss, and should be able to cover my tail, if it comes to that.  However, pointing out that, at the very least, paying ten bucks a month for identity theft insurance, for THAT many employees, for a couple years...  That's some fairly massive liability exposure.

I would suggest emailing the temp agency about it. Just something along the lines of "On [date] my replacement took home [the sensitive payroll documents you described]. I informed my supervisor, and he said that he would speak with her, but I wanted to send you an email letting you know, because it made me very uncomfortable."

The real purpose of this email, of course, is to create a paper trail. It might not be a bad idea also to email your boss, saying "I just wanted to thank you for meeting with me on [date] about the issue with [name] taking home the payroll documents. I was a little panicked because after years in payroll it's so deeply ingrained in me that those documents leaving the building poses a security risk, but I feel better knowing that you will let her know not to do it again."

The reason I say this is that if this woman is the boss' friend, and something does happen, it would not be at all surprising for them to scapegoat  the temp. 

Quote from: Nigel on February 05, 2012, 05:31:25 PM
I would suggest emailing the temp agency about it. Just something along the lines of "On [date] my replacement took home [the sensitive payroll documents you described]. I informed my supervisor, and he said that he would speak with her, but I wanted to send you an email letting you know, because it made me very uncomfortable."

The real purpose of this email, of course, is to create a paper trail. It might not be a bad idea also to email your boss, saying "I just wanted to thank you for meeting with me on [date] about the issue with [name] taking home the payroll documents. I was a little panicked because after years in payroll it's so deeply ingrained in me that those documents leaving the building poses a security risk, but I feel better knowing that you will let her know not to do it again."

The reason I say this is that if this woman is the boss' friend, and something does happen, it would not be at all surprising for them to scapegoat  the temp.

Not a bad idea at all, that...  Also, might open the "get me the hell out of here before the extend this crap AGAIN" conversation. 

I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

:argh!:

I don't know that I could ever work in an uptight office. All the artificial interactions and drab decorating would really harsh my mellow.

Quote from: Luna on February 06, 2012, 05:11:49 PM
I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

:argh!:

Clearly she's an expert at blowjobs or blackmail because for her actual job, she got nuthin'.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2012, 07:43:08 PM

Quote from: Luna on February 06, 2012, 05:11:49 PM
I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

:argh!:

Clearly she's an expert at blowjobs or blackmail because for her actual job, she got nuthin'.

I'm STILL trying to figure out why the fuck she was hired.  It was NOT for any experience (she has none).

She knows SOMEBODY, she has to.

Quote from: Luna on February 20, 2012, 08:45:09 PM

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2012, 07:43:08 PM

Quote from: Luna on February 06, 2012, 05:11:49 PM
I am, today, attempting to train the nitwit how to run a payroll.  She has watched me run one, she took notes.  She said, multiple times, that she understands the process.

Today, she walked in, I got up from my desk, and told her that she's doing it.

It's like watching a train wreck, in slow motion.  Yes, this is a system she isn't expecting to use, because they are changing to a new system... but we're talking basic stuff.  Not comprehending overtime rates.  Not grasping that hours worked in different buildings are charged to different General Ledger account numbers. 

They told me she was an "expert" with Excel.  She has no grasp of pivot tables, and has been told three times today how to refresh the data in one. 

:argh!:

Clearly she's an expert at blowjobs or blackmail because for her actual job, she got nuthin'.

I'm STILL trying to figure out why the fuck she was hired.  It was NOT for any experience (she has none).

She knows SOMEBODY, she has to.

And know she knows a lot more people, what with the info she 'borrowed'.

Joy.  I am behind.  The journal entries (which are massive) from the last payroll aren't done, because every time I tried to work on them, Nitwit interrupted me.  This, even after, "I HAVE to focus on this." 

This is a payroll week, and yesterday was a holiday, AND they were upgrading the servers, so even if I wanted to come in and work, I couldn't.

This morning, I get in bright and early... and IT comes in to work on our tower.  Another hour or more lost.

Fuck.

Update:  Nitwit took over the reins on April 1st, leaving yours truly back on unemployment.  Time was spent being pursued and permitting myself to be caught by an awesome guy.  (We have a NESpag get together when he doesn't have the kids and we're not off doing SCA stuff and you can meet him.)  Job hunted, the job market sucks...

I get a call from the temp agency.  "(School you were at) called, if you're available, they want you back for 2 months." They tell me "someone else is out," no more details.  I know my officemate is out on medical, I figure maybe they want me to cover for her in AP.  I send them back for more details.

Turns out Nitwit quit, gave less than a week notice.  So, I am right back where I was, except with a couple recent interviews, and one lined up this week.

Today's gripe:  entitled assholes whose weekly pay is more than twice my own bitching when multiple thousand plus dollar bonuses hit their pay the same week, and they get "screwed" on taxes.

There is a reason they don't let me wear a sword.

Read that as "don't let me use swear words" :-)

Can't you negotiate for longer than 2 mo?

DID THEY MENTION CHAINSAWS?

Quote from: Luna on May 24, 2011, 09:21:48 PM

Quote from: Nigel on May 24, 2011, 09:17:29 PM
The kitchen staff is hourly, contracted, and union? And the union doesn't have their asses covered during the summer? In other states they would still be able to collect unemployment during times when they are involuntarily not working and not getting paid. (As opposed to a salaried position, where pay for the off months is built into the salary.)

They are hourly, and under a union contract, yes.  And, yes, the union hasn't done anything to cover them during the summer.

In RI, presumably, it's the concept that "you KNEW you weren't going to work over the summer, since it's a school, and voluntarily took the position with that understanding in mind, so it's NOT involuntary."

Is what it is.

That's the most pussified union I've ever heard of.

Quote from: Triple Zero on June 04, 2012, 07:20:19 PM
Read that as "don't let me use swear words" :-)

Can't you negotiate for longer than 2 mo?

I do not want to be here for longer than 2 months.  I am hoping that the interview on Wednesday provides me with an awesome job with benefits which pays several dollars an hour more than I'm getting, here.