Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 06:44:48 PM

Title: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 06:44:48 PM
My friend found a video somewhere. It's called "Anal Massage for Health and Pleasure", and it's from the 80's. It features people from the 80's doing stuff to each other's butts.

Right on the cover, it says that Chester Mainard has over 20 years of experience teaching anal massage, and also that the video contains over two and a half hours of hands-on instruction.

Seriously, I tried to find this video on the internet. It's amazing! I'm going to scan the cover when I get a chance. Holy shit.

I did find this snippet of Chester Mainard talking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzDcou5il-A
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 06:55:02 PM
He has one of the best Downeast-sounding names of all time. :lulz:
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 06:59:07 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 06:55:02 PM
He has one of the best Downeast-sounding names of all time. :lulz:

I know, right?

AND, he wants to massage your anus.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:07:34 PM
My anus is currently being massaged from the inside in a rather prolific manner.

ECH,
oranges got NOTHING on seaweed
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 07:18:50 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:07:34 PM
My anus is currently being massaged from the inside in a rather prolific manner.

ECH,
oranges got NOTHING on seaweed

I fucking love seaweed! NOM NOM NOM!
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:23:58 PM
my wife told me that there is a bacterial dna swap that goes on in your gut all the time, and that we westerners don't have the flora in our stomachs with the the right stuff to produce the enzymes to digest seaweed.  she said it just passes straight through, and that if we wanted it to be digested we would have to eat a ton of the live seaweed to achieve this.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:26:47 PM
I ate about a pound and a half of korean seaweed and cucumber salad in one sitting last night.

My toilet hates me. And so does my downstairs neighbor.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: LMNO on April 11, 2011, 07:27:40 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:23:58 PM
my wife told me that there is a bacterial dna swap that goes on in your gut all the time, and that we westerners don't have the flora in our stomachs with the the right stuff to produce the enzymes to digest seaweed.  she said it just passes straight through, and that if we wanted it to be digested we would have to eat a ton of the live seaweed to achieve this.

There's a bit in Guns, Germs, and Steel about that.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:30:03 PM
it's in my pile of half read books that i really need to finish because they are really interesting....
:argh!:
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:30:41 PM
Also, LMNO, don't think for a second that it escaped my attention that "Chester Mainard" looks an awful lot like a certain poster on this very forum.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 07:33:40 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:23:58 PM
my wife told me that there is a bacterial dna swap that goes on in your gut all the time, and that we westerners don't have the flora in our stomachs with the the right stuff to produce the enzymes to digest seaweed.  she said it just passes straight through, and that if we wanted it to be digested we would have to eat a ton of the live seaweed to achieve this.

I think that might apply more to you landlocked fuckers. I digest that shit just fine, but I grew up eating things I found stuck to rocks in the ocean.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:37:29 PM
The problem we have with digesting seaweed is that our bodies can't break down plant cellulose. I don't think that has to do with where you live, though.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:45:57 PM
ECH, upon reading your comment i had to google search and the second image that comes up is
(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTyQVzdQtcBnjjDQR1U929FG2YaWZDl1wo_eVkMq3pk1fyehZR0hQ&t=1)
and i wonder, what must be done to qualify for this scholarship?!
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 11, 2011, 07:50:18 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:45:57 PM
ECH, upon reading your comment i had to google search and the second image that comes up is
(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTyQVzdQtcBnjjDQR1U929FG2YaWZDl1wo_eVkMq3pk1fyehZR0hQ&t=1)
and i wonder, what must be done to qualify for this scholarship?!

IT'S ONLY MONDAY, AND MY WEEK IS COMPLETE!  :lulz:
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: LMNO on April 11, 2011, 07:50:43 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:30:41 PM
Also, LMNO, don't think for a second that it escaped my attention that "Chester Mainard" looks an awful lot like a certain poster on this very forum.

I ain't sayin' nuthin'.



Apropos of nothing at all, would anybody be interested in a massage?
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: President Television on April 11, 2011, 07:51:30 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:37:29 PM
The problem we have with digesting seaweed is that our bodies can't break down plant cellulose. I don't think that has to do with where you live, though.

Bacteria do exist that can break it down. Termites, for example, are only able to feed on wood because their digestive systems house bacteria that can do that. I don't know for sure if humans possess any gut bacteria with those capabilities, but I know it's definitely possible.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:51:57 PM
Quote from: Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 07:45:57 PM
ECH, upon reading your comment i had to google search and the second image that comes up is
(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTyQVzdQtcBnjjDQR1U929FG2YaWZDl1wo_eVkMq3pk1fyehZR0hQ&t=1)
and i wonder, what must be done to qualify for this scholarship?!

I think we have a duty to find out.

For SCIENCE!
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:53:09 PM
Quote from: Unqualified on April 11, 2011, 07:51:30 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:37:29 PM
The problem we have with digesting seaweed is that our bodies can't break down plant cellulose. I don't think that has to do with where you live, though.

Bacteria do exist that can break it down. Termites, for example, are only able to feed on wood because their digestive systems house bacteria that can do that. I don't know for sure if humans possess any gut bacteria with those capabilities, but I know it's definitely possible.

Thank you for that pointless yet pedantic post which completely ignored the part where I said that OUR BODIES don't have the ability to break down plant cellulose. Unless, of course, you are actually a giant termite.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: President Television on April 11, 2011, 08:00:52 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:53:09 PM
Quote from: Unqualified on April 11, 2011, 07:51:30 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 07:37:29 PM
The problem we have with digesting seaweed is that our bodies can't break down plant cellulose. I don't think that has to do with where you live, though.

Bacteria do exist that can break it down. Termites, for example, are only able to feed on wood because their digestive systems house bacteria that can do that. I don't know for sure if humans possess any gut bacteria with those capabilities, but I know it's definitely possible.

Thank you for that pointless yet pedantic post which completely ignored the part where I said that OUR BODIES don't have the ability to break down plant cellulose. Unless, of course, you are actually a giant termite.

My cover is blown.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2011, 08:03:57 PM
:lulz:

I was more of a dick than I would have been otherwise because I saw the "q" in your screenname and thought you were Requia.

I should probably cut down on the energy drinks.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 08:05:29 PM
Listen, you guys. Can't we stay focused on anal massage, for once?
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 11, 2011, 08:07:47 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 11, 2011, 08:05:29 PM
Listen, you guys. Can't we stay focused on anal massage, for once?

This was a real big thing with the artsy1 crowd in Chicago, back in the late 90s.

I thought it was silly then, and I think it's silly now.  But my hat is off to Chester Mainard for getting people to pay him for indulging his kink.



1 You know who I mean.  People who talk about "their art", but never actually do any.  Mostly novelists.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: President Television on April 11, 2011, 08:08:30 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 11, 2011, 08:03:57 PM
:lulz:

I was more of a dick than I would have been otherwise because I saw the "q" in your screenname and thought you were Requia.

I should probably cut down on the energy drinks.


:argh!: :lulz:
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 11, 2011, 08:09:08 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 11, 2011, 08:05:29 PM
Listen, you guys. Can't we stay focused on anal massage, for once?
i certainly could.
interested if you find the video of which you speak...  :)
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 11, 2011, 08:26:48 PM
What the hell do you know, it's true: http://articles.latimes.com/2010/apr/08/science/la-sci-sushi8-2010apr08

Good odds that the Welsh and Coastal natives here also have this enzyme, though, from generations of eating seaweed.
Title: Re: Chester Mainard is amazing.
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on April 12, 2011, 03:38:22 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 11, 2011, 06:44:48 PM
I did find this snippet of Chester Mainard talking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzDcou5il-A

:lulz:

I will scour the interbutts in search of this holy video!