Men must never admit to consuming Parfait, Smoothie, blush wines, wines coolers, fruited beer, quiche, salad, wrapped sandwiches, or brunch. Any man who needs consume these in cases of extremis must refer to them as "cereal", "Shake", "Booze", "punch", "Beer", "pie", "garnish", "sammich" or "chow", and silently cry in shame in the dark later. Violations of this only accrue thee shame.
At least one urinal must be maintained between men urinating at all times. If no nonadjacent urinal is free, use a stall. Rest stops and cases of extremis are partial exceptions, but any violation accrues the violator some shame or douchebaggery.
Men are not to converse at the urinal. They must stand under a vow of silence, and only break this once they are done. Do not address another silent man at the urinal. Violations of this add to the vioaltor's douchebaggery.
Conversation between toilet stalls is double douchebaggery.
Men are not to allow anyone to bump them in a crowd, pass them while driving, cut them in line, or opperate a vehicle poorly or slowly in their presence without admonishing them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE". Failure to do so will surely bring shame.
Men are not to order a vegetarian or chicken dish at a restaurant when a less-manly cohort is ordring a more manly meal of steak or pork, lest shame be accrued. Choose wisely.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men must never admit to consuming Parfait, Smoothie, blush wines, wines coolers, fruited beer, quiche, salad, wrapped sandwiches, or brunch. Any man who needs consume these in cases of extremis must refer to them as "cereal", "Shake", "Booze", "punch", "Beer", "pie", "garnish", "sammich" or "chow", and silently cry in shame in the dark later. Violations of this only accrue thee shame.
At least one urinal must be maintained between men urinating at all times. If no nonadjacent urinal is free, use a stall. Rest stops and cases of extremis are partial exceptions, but any violation accrues the violator some shame or douchebaggery.
Men are not to converse at the urinal. They must stand under a vow of silence, and only break this once they are done. Do not address another silent man at the urinal. Violations of this add to the vioaltor's douchebaggery.
Conversation between toilet stalls is double douchebaggery.
Men are not to allow anyone to bump them in a crowd, pass them while driving, cut them in line, or opperate a vehicle poorly or slowly in their presence without admonishing them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE". Failure to do so will surely bring shame.
Men are not to order a vegetarian or chicken dish at a restaurant when a less-manly cohort is ordring a more manly meal of steak or pork, lest shame be accrued. Choose wisely.
My boss violated this one with me. It was.... weird and awkward...
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
Women go to the can in groups in order to talk about men. How often do you see men go in groups?
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
Probably the sense of "my penis is exposed. This person, also with his penis exposed, is talking to me."
Eye contact is also verboten and trying to sneak a peek is very poor form. Eyes to the wall, mouth shut. Probably also because it's such a quick process, there really isn't anything urgent enough that needs to be discussed while peeing.
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
This concept is strange and frightening.
Methinks these rules do not apply at THE GAY BAR.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 13, 2011, 05:02:24 PM
Methinks these rules do not apply at THE GAY BAR.
:lulz: AGREED!
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 13, 2011, 05:02:24 PM
Methinks these rules do not apply at THE GAY BAR.
:lulz: Yeah probably not.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:01:11 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
This concept is strange and frightening.
Yeah, I can see how it would be if men have all these "no talking" b.s. rules about peeing. I mean, not MUCH of the dong is actually visible when you're streaming, is it?
I think women sometimes talk to cover the noise of the stream and the grunts you hear. Distracting yourself from the noises and smells is much better than sitting and well, STEWING in it.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:01:11 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
This concept is strange and frightening.
Even if you do not go pee when asked to play the role of the Pee Buddy, it's important that you stay with the one who designated you. You go to the bathroom with her, you talk with her while she is in the stall, usually about someone else, make sure she's not getting sick, make sure you have a tampon or pad if needed, meet her at the sink, and then exit.
it's just...a rule.
:lulz:
You see, men, have to sit there stoically enduring the horrible fate. It's very Wagnerian. In fact, reciting wagner out loud or mentally is one of few allowed distractions.
A manager once broke the urinal rule to request I not kill anyone. This was not out of turn since he didn't know my dry sense of humor yet.
It is however, acceptable to speak to whoever is in the restroom with you, provided that you are now both at the sink and washing your hands. Until both parties are at the sink, towel dispenser or door, conversation cannot happen.
Can't tell you if much is visible or not (eyes to the wall!). Also, urinals are usually pretty quiet unless you get that guy who pees directly into the water, usually with as much force applied to his bladder to make the sound as deep and resonant as possible, which I also think is weird.
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 05:06:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:01:11 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
This concept is strange and frightening.
Even if you do not go pee when asked to play the role of the Pee Buddy, it's important that you stay with the one who designated you. You go to the bathroom with her, you talk with her while she is in the stall, usually about someone else, make sure she's not getting sick, make sure you have a tampon or pad if needed, meet her at the sink, and then exit.
it's just...a rule.
Unless it's hella fucking crowded, then I just wait in the damned doorway or hall. No fucking way am I cramming into a peehole for 5 other women to stand on top of me if there's no room or nothing to move around or talk. I'm too old. Or something. :lulz:
Oh these little microbehaviors we have.
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 05:10:48 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 05:06:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:01:11 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
This concept is strange and frightening.
Even if you do not go pee when asked to play the role of the Pee Buddy, it's important that you stay with the one who designated you. You go to the bathroom with her, you talk with her while she is in the stall, usually about someone else, make sure she's not getting sick, make sure you have a tampon or pad if needed, meet her at the sink, and then exit.
it's just...a rule.
Unless it's hella fucking crowded, then I just wait in the damned doorway or hall. No fucking way am I cramming into a peehole for 5 other women to stand on top of me if there's no room or nothing to move around or talk. I'm too old. Or something. :lulz:
Oh these little microbehaviors we have.
Again, that's law.
"I'll hang right here. Don't worry I won't go anywhere!!"
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:09:28 PM
It is however, acceptable to speak to whoever is in the restroom with you, provided that you are now both at the sink and washing your hands. Until both parties are at the sink, towel dispenser or door, conversation cannot happen.
Absolutely correct. You are both scholar and gentleman.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:09:28 PM
Can't tell you if much is visible or not (eyes to the wall!). Also, urinals are usually pretty quiet unless you get that guy who pees directly into the water, usually with as much force applied to his bladder to make the sound as deep and resonant as possible, which I also think is weird.
You HAVE to! This is one of few ways you can HINT at the size or fury of your genitals without direct exposure, and must be undertaken at least for psychological warfare reasons!
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 05:14:29 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:09:28 PM
It is however, acceptable to speak to whoever is in the restroom with you, provided that you are now both at the sink and washing your hands. Until both parties are at the sink, towel dispenser or door, conversation cannot happen.
Absolutely correct. You are both scholar and gentleman.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:09:28 PM
Can't tell you if much is visible or not (eyes to the wall!). Also, urinals are usually pretty quiet unless you get that guy who pees directly into the water, usually with as much force applied to his bladder to make the sound as deep and resonant as possible, which I also think is weird.
You HAVE to! This is one of few ways you can HINT at the size or fury of your genitals without direct exposure, and must be undertaken at least for psychological warfare reasons!
Is also true. I always got the sense that sort of behavior was showing off.
Also a man rule:
If you have to take a dump and someone is in the rest room, you have two options.
GO to the urinal and wait him out. If you go to the stall, he'll know what you're doing.
Run to the stall with your hand over your mouth, slam the door, make wretching noises.
Taking a dump is a furtive thing, that should never be known about.
FLUSH, man. It's the easiest cover. Take cover in the furthest stall down and just flush serially.
I purpose wait it out in the bathroom before I take a dump so no one hears it...then again, sometimes ripping serious ass is the best way to clear the place.
decently funny video about male restroom etiquette:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw&feature=related
10 minutes is a bit long, but still a pretty good video.
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 05:35:23 PM
I purpose wait it out in the bathroom before I take a dump so no one hears it...then again, sometimes ripping serious ass is the best way to clear the place.
:lulz:
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 05:05:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on April 13, 2011, 05:01:11 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Quote from: Jenne on April 13, 2011, 04:53:09 PM
Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time. Wonder why this is not verboten universally?
We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.
This concept is strange and frightening.
Yeah, I can see how it would be if men have all these "no talking" b.s. rules about peeing. I mean, not MUCH of the dong is actually visible when you're streaming, is it?
I think women sometimes talk to cover the noise of the stream and the grunts you hear. Distracting yourself from the noises and smells is much better than sitting and well, STEWING in it.
I disagree, due to my testosterone levels. Silently going about our respective business, regardless of the sounds or smells involved, is much less weird than the feeling of "Oh my god, this person is trying to talk to me while they are pooping."
IMO, of course.
The force of the urinal-in-between rule can be lessened if said urinals are partitioned:
(http://www.sdplastics.com/partitionbig1.jpg)
It should still be followed unless absolutely necessary, however.
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 13, 2011, 05:35:23 PM
I purpose wait it out in the bathroom before I take a dump so no one hears it...then again, sometimes ripping serious ass is the best way to clear the place.
Then BLOW THE FUCKERS OUT OF THE WATER!
TIGHTENTHE ABS, LOOSE THE SPHINCTER, AND GIVE VOICE TO WHAT YOU FEEL! (kiiiiiiilllll mee!)
Remember in "Hunt for Red October" when the USA sub breaches? Like that. Jsut people clearing the abthroom.
IF THEY CNA'T TAKE THE HEAT
TMP, THEY HAVE NO PLACE IN MAH KITCHEN.
Quote from: Remington on April 13, 2011, 05:39:55 PM
The force of the urinal-in-between rule can be lessened if said urinals are partitioned:
(http://www.sdplastics.com/partitionbig1.jpg)
It should still be followed unless absolutely necessary, however.
We've got this German Club down here that jsut has a huge trough along one wall for peeing. It's psychology in action I swear.
THe bus station in Cork City also has a trough.
That's probably why I think that Cork City is such a scuzzy place. Well, that and the scuzz. But maybe the scuzz is a result of the trough, as Pickle's video shows.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 05:43:49 PM
Quote from: Remington on April 13, 2011, 05:39:55 PM
The force of the urinal-in-between rule can be lessened if said urinals are partitioned:
(http://www.sdplastics.com/partitionbig1.jpg)
It should still be followed unless absolutely necessary, however.
We've got this German Club down here that jsut has a huge trough along one wall for peeing. It's psychology in action I swear.
One of these nights, we've gotta hang around 'til the place empties just so I can go in and see this thing. :lulz:
About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.
It allows for much more flexible positioning with regards to The MAN Law.
It also allows for various gimmicks such as pictures of wimminz whose bikini tops disapear when you wizz on them (which is an entirely healthy message, I say! [/is joke]), television screens behind perspex and floating ping pong balls that are moved up/down the trough as per the SHEER MANFORCE of participating urinary gaming gents.
Rules of The Trough:
If the trough is at floor level, one must rely on native Man Skills to judge the angle of the stream of justice against the wall correctly to save from shame and pissing on another worthy gentlemans boots.
If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.
Trough games are only to be indulged in when alone or with consenting adult pisseurs.
NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS.
Quote from: Payne on April 13, 2011, 06:54:58 PM
About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.
It allows for much more flexible positioning with regards to The MAN Law.
It also allows for various gimmicks such as pictures of wimminz whose bikini tops disapear when you wizz on them (which is an entirely healthy message, I say! [/is joke]), television screens behind perspex and floating ping pong balls that are moved up/down the trough as per the SHEER MANFORCE of participating urinary gaming gents.
Rules of The Trough:
If the trough is at floor level, one must rely on native Man Skills to judge the angle of the stream of justice against the wall correctly to save from shame and pissing on another worthy gentlemans boots.
If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.
Trough games are only to be indulged in when alone or with consenting adult pisseurs.
NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS.
:lulz: Can't breathe...
Quote from: Payne on April 13, 2011, 06:54:58 PM
About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.
It allows for much more flexible positioning with regards to The MAN Law.
It also allows for various gimmicks such as pictures of wimminz whose bikini tops disapear when you wizz on them (which is an entirely healthy message, I say! [/is joke]), television screens behind perspex and floating ping pong balls that are moved up/down the trough as per the SHEER MANFORCE of participating urinary gaming gents.
Rules of The Trough:
If the trough is at floor level, one must rely on native Man Skills to judge the angle of the stream of justice against the wall correctly to save from shame and pissing on another worthy gentlemans boots.
If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.
Trough games are only to be indulged in when alone or with consenting adult pisseurs.
NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS.
:spittake:
Payne wins Fread.
@Cainad: women don't usually talk while #2, it's all pee, man. All pee.
Payne, that was orsome, and I've seen those troughs on the floor. Those take some skeelz. ESP if you're uh three sheets to the windish...
I think I had a Muslim guy praying towards me in the next stall in the bathroom at work while I was taking a huge steaming dump a couple of months ago.
It was weird.
Thank fuck I don't have to abide any of these stupid rules.
I wish we had squat toilets in the US. That would change a few things I bet.
NOOOO that would be terrible
On a serious note, I've always thought devising some hackneyed rules for manhood qualifies as one of the least manly things it's possible to do. All they ever say to me are that guys are coming up with excuses as to why they're so manly, when really the manliest thing would be to just say "I'm a man, therefore whatever I do is something that a man does."
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on April 14, 2011, 12:27:59 AM
Thank fuck I don't have to abide any of these stupid rules.
Agreed. Fuck all that noise. :lulz:
Quote from: Nigel on April 14, 2011, 12:36:49 AM
I wish we had squat toilets in the US. That would change a few things I bet.
I read that squat toilets are better for your bowels and reduce the incidence of hemorrhoids.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men must never admit to consuming Parfait, Smoothie, blush wines, wines coolers, fruited beer, quiche, salad, wrapped sandwiches, or brunch. Any man who needs consume these in cases of extremis must refer to them as "cereal", "Shake", "Booze", "punch", "Beer", "pie", "garnish", "sammich" or "chow", and silently cry in shame in the dark later. Violations of this only accrue thee shame.
Never understood that. I loves me some quiche.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
At least one urinal must be maintained between men urinating at all times. If no nonadjacent urinal is free, use a stall. Rest stops and cases of extremis are partial exceptions, but any violation accrues the violator some shame or douchebaggery.
Balls. You take the urinal RIGHT NEXT TO THE ONLY OTHER GUY IN THE CAN, and you giggle. A bit. If done correctly, he'll piss on his shoe.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men are not to converse at the urinal. They must stand under a vow of silence, and only break this once they are done. Do not address another silent man at the urinal. Violations of this add to the vioaltor's douchebaggery.
HI! HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS?
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Conversation between toilet stalls is double douchebaggery.
But howling in simulated agony is 169% MAN.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men are not to allow anyone to bump them in a crowd, pass them while driving, cut them in line, or opperate a vehicle poorly or slowly in their presence without admonishing them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE". Failure to do so will surely bring shame.
Okay, can't argue that one.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men are not to order a vegetarian or chicken dish at a restaurant when a less-manly cohort is ordring a more manly meal of steak or pork, lest shame be accrued. Choose wisely.
Lots of chicken and salad, here. And then I point out that my colleague's won't fart with as much flavor.
I not only drink fruit beer, I homebrew it.
<---refusing to subscribe to gender stereotypes.
I fail parody, apparently :|
Quote from: Richter on April 14, 2011, 03:47:01 AM
I fail parody, apparently :|
When satire meets America, part I. :lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 14, 2011, 12:59:45 AM
On a serious note, I've always thought devising some hackneyed rules for manhood qualifies as one of the least manly things it's possible to do. All they ever say to me are that guys are coming up with excuses as to why they're so manly, when really the manliest thing would be to just say "I'm a man, therefore whatever I do is something that a man does."
Yes.
Do these rules apply for the decrepit fella's?
I once saw an old dude with...all his trouser layers round by his ankles at a urinal.
I will never forget those wrinkly cheeks.
I also forgot to do my wiz.
Quote from: oscilloscopter on April 15, 2011, 01:05:38 AM
Do these rules apply for the decrepit fella's?
I once saw an old dude with...all his trouser layers round by his ankles at a urinal.
I will never forget those wrinkly cheeks.
I also forgot to do my wiz.
That's understandable. It's usually pretty difficult when you're rocking a hard on.
Well I didn't want to violate the 'never rock a hard on at the urinal' rule.
Something so obvious it has yet to be stated.
Quote from: Nigel on April 14, 2011, 12:36:49 AM
I wish we had squat toilets in the US. That would change a few things I bet.
This is the ONLY way to poop.
I thought so too, but I gotta tell you, Trimet takes a really dim view of the practice.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 15, 2011, 09:22:31 PM
I thought so too, but I gotta tell you, Trimet takes a really dim view of the practice.
:lulz:
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 15, 2011, 09:22:31 PM
I thought so too, but I gotta tell you, Trimet takes a really dim view of the practice.
:lulz:
Quote from: Payne on April 13, 2011, 06:54:58 PM
About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.
It's even more down here (though pissing when everything is upside down can be tricky). I've never seen any pissing games though.
Quote from: Payne on April 13, 2011, 06:54:58 PM
If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.
Also, the later in the night (ie the drunker people are) the lower the standards for spacing, because we don't want to be like women and have to line up to pee.
Quote from: Rumckle on April 17, 2011, 12:19:34 AM
Quote from: Payne on April 13, 2011, 06:54:58 PM
About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.
It's even more down here (though pissing when everything is upside down can be tricky). I've never seen any pissing games though.
Quote from: Payne on April 13, 2011, 06:54:58 PM
If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.
Also, the later in the night (ie the drunker people are) the lower the standards for spacing, because we don't want to be like women and have to line up to pee.
Right about later in the night... Usually you'll want to get out of there before the sink becomes fair game.
See, THIS is why women go to bathrooms in groups. So we have someone to talk to while we wait in line to pee... If you guys would WAIT to pee at the trough, you wouldn't be standing (so to speak) cheek to cheek with the next guy, both DESPERATELY trying not to get a glimpse of the other guy's junk. (Well, yes, I'm aware SOME of you would be glimpsing on purpose, but, MOST...)
FACT: Waiting around in The Facilities to take a piss is actually creepier than accidentally espying another mans bait'n'tackle.
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men must never admit to consuming Parfait, Smoothie, blush wines, wines coolers, fruited beer, quiche, salad, wrapped sandwiches, or brunch. Any man who needs consume these in cases of extremis must refer to them as "cereal", "Shake", "Booze", "punch", "Beer", "pie", "garnish", "sammich" or "chow", and silently cry in shame in the dark later. Violations of this only accrue thee shame.
At least one urinal must be maintained between men urinating at all times. If no nonadjacent urinal is free, use a stall. Rest stops and cases of extremis are partial exceptions, but any violation accrues the violator some shame or douchebaggery.
Men are not to converse at the urinal. They must stand under a vow of silence, and only break this once they are done. Do not address another silent man at the urinal. Violations of this add to the vioaltor's douchebaggery.
Conversation between toilet stalls is double douchebaggery.
Men are not to allow anyone to bump them in a crowd, pass them while driving, cut them in line, or opperate a vehicle poorly or slowly in their presence without admonishing them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE". Failure to do so will surely bring shame.
Men are not to order a vegetarian or chicken dish at a restaurant when a less-manly cohort is ordring a more manly meal of steak or pork, lest shame be accrued. Choose wisely.
This must be an american thing. Over here in Australia, it's pretty much the norm to strike up a bit of small talk particularly when you're in a bar/place where everyone is drunk, it's almost as if you don't say anything it is a bit awkward. My theory is, it's a way to make some eye contact so you know EXACTLY where the other guys eyes are at all times.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 15, 2011, 09:22:31 PM
I thought so too, but I gotta tell you, Trimet takes a really dim view of the practice.
:aaa:
Quote from: Lies on April 17, 2011, 07:43:22 AM
Quote from: Richter on April 13, 2011, 04:45:39 PM
Men must never admit to consuming Parfait, Smoothie, blush wines, wines coolers, fruited beer, quiche, salad, wrapped sandwiches, or brunch. Any man who needs consume these in cases of extremis must refer to them as "cereal", "Shake", "Booze", "punch", "Beer", "pie", "garnish", "sammich" or "chow", and silently cry in shame in the dark later. Violations of this only accrue thee shame.
At least one urinal must be maintained between men urinating at all times. If no nonadjacent urinal is free, use a stall. Rest stops and cases of extremis are partial exceptions, but any violation accrues the violator some shame or douchebaggery.
Men are not to converse at the urinal. They must stand under a vow of silence, and only break this once they are done. Do not address another silent man at the urinal. Violations of this add to the vioaltor's douchebaggery.
Conversation between toilet stalls is double douchebaggery.
Men are not to allow anyone to bump them in a crowd, pass them while driving, cut them in line, or opperate a vehicle poorly or slowly in their presence without admonishing them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE". Failure to do so will surely bring shame.
Men are not to order a vegetarian or chicken dish at a restaurant when a less-manly cohort is ordring a more manly meal of steak or pork, lest shame be accrued. Choose wisely.
This must be an american thing. Over here in Australia, it's pretty much the norm to strike up a bit of small talk particularly when you're in a bar/place where everyone is drunk, it's almost as if you don't say anything it is a bit awkward. My theory is, it's a way to make some eye contact so you know EXACTLY where the other guys eyes are at all times.
Hey, when I come down to Australia indeterminate future from now to visit you upsidedown spags, and we're out at the pub and we have to piss at the same time, I insist on American rules. I'm a guest in your country at that point. Also, if you come here, we must also insist on American rules. Because, well, Americans. Our way or the highway.
Quote from: Payne on April 17, 2011, 06:00:12 AM
FACT: Waiting around in The Facilities to take a piss is actually creepier than accidentally espying another mans bait'n'tackle.
Only 'cause the only thing for you guys to look at while waiting is other guys taking a piss. If y'all did your business behind stall doors, it would be less creepy.
You people are all incredibly weird. :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 17, 2011, 04:46:08 PM
You people are all incredibly weird. :lulz:
Which is why you love us. (http://www.dogproductshop.co.uk/smile/love/love0001.gif)
Quote from: Luna on April 18, 2011, 01:18:49 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 17, 2011, 04:46:08 PM
You people are all incredibly weird. :lulz:
Which is why you love us. (http://www.dogproductshop.co.uk/smile/love/love0001.gif)
Touché.