Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 12:58:40 AM

Title: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 12:58:40 AM
1. The Double Cheeseburger - Eat it.  Eat the HELL out of it.  Relish in the fact that you're nourished.  Best performed on long car trips while giving St. Engine Block some time to cool down.

2. The Hammer - Enjoy applying force.  Tap that shit.  Hit it to make a positive change in your environment.  Physics is not a tampon, so don't use a plastic applictor unless you're trying to preserve your paint job.

3.  Preaching - Spread the Holy WordTM to the populace to point out BS or hypocricy.  Be clever and stylish, lest you be born away for 10 days of psych eval.  Don't ask for or accept money, devotion, or jack shit.  You're doing this as a public service.

4.  Game Night - entertainment while exposing yourself to people who are worth being around.  If they aren't, then cast them out.

5. Getting Lost - Take a long walk.  Get balls ass backwards confused about your location, then find your way again. 

More as I think of them.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 26, 2011, 01:00:31 AM
PREACH ON, BROTHER RICHTER!
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Phox on April 26, 2011, 01:02:48 AM
I do all of those as often as possible. SWEET!
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Luna on April 26, 2011, 01:07:50 AM
If it counts if you get lost accidentally, I'm covered.   :)
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on April 26, 2011, 01:16:36 AM
MOAR!
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 26, 2011, 01:22:54 AM
I get lost while driving but not while walking. Sense of direction only works when I'm on my own two legs. But a good long, windy ramble is my drug of choice.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 26, 2011, 01:32:57 AM
:mittens:

Quote from: Richter on April 26, 2011, 12:58:40 AM
2. The Hammer - Enjoy applying force.  Tap that shit.  Hit it to make a positive change in your environment.  Physics is not a tampon, so don't use a plastic applictor unless you're trying to preserve your paint job.

:lulz:


If I may be so bold as trouble thee further, O Grand HyperDeacon of the Sol Sector, answer us lesser Holy OnesTM these humble requests:

Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:25:12 AM
Quote from: Cainad on April 26, 2011, 01:32:57 AM
If I may be so bold as trouble thee further, O Grand HyperDeacon of the Sol Sector, answer us lesser Holy OnesTM these humble requests:


  • Teach unto us the proper means of honoring the Sacrament of Really Spicy Stuff
  • Bestow upon us the sacred truths of "Click That Fucking Link!", lest we remain ignorant, adrift, and fearful

Right Reverend Cainad, your spirit is ever in the right place, and I'm not about who's HolyTM is bigger.  I invite you, and any others, to add their own sacraments as you see me lacking, for you have rightly and well pointed out two I missed in my rush out of the office.  (When the Deacon goes off the clock he goes OFF THE CLOCK.)


6. Really Spicy Stuff - Partake of the spice, appreciate the heat and the great balance of the flavors.  Do not content yourself to a single spice, sauce or concoction, but be creative and mix!  This is about enjoying some righteous vittles, not proving how big your dick is.  For your perseverance, you will be able to drink mace without barfing.  (ACTUAL SUPERPOWERS YOU CAN USE!  WHAT OTHER SET OF SACRAMENTS GIVES YOU THAT?)

7. Click that Fucking Link - Post something interesting, damaging, or novel.  DO not frivolously post every Youtube video or wile pic you see, but only those of especial value to you.  Keep in mind, even with horror, you're passing on THE WORD.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Payne on April 26, 2011, 06:36:54 AM
 :lulz:

Love these sacrements dude. I'll have to add my own later, for Grate Spirichool Justice.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Luna on April 26, 2011, 01:23:11 PM
Be Prepared.  One never knows when something will need to be hammered, bolted down, tied up, set on fire, or have other interesting physics required to be applied.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Jenne on April 26, 2011, 02:50:49 PM
These are holy strictures I can get behind.  :evil:
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Cuddlefish on April 26, 2011, 02:57:19 PM
These are great, Rich. Speaking of game night, when's the last time we got together for some munchkin?
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:02:18 PM
Been too long, at any rate!  If your time allows we need to keep that going.  Defintiely bring some games for Memorial day too.

Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:05:05 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 26, 2011, 01:23:11 PM
Be Prepared.  One never knows when something will need to be hammered, bolted down, tied up, set on fire, or have other interesting physics required to be applied.

8. the Ignition Source - Always have one.  Sometimes, things just need to get burned or melted.  If you're feeling nice you can light up some candles, or help someone light a smoke.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Suu on April 26, 2011, 03:20:28 PM
Knives?
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:28:52 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 26, 2011, 03:20:28 PM
Knives?

Those are a requirement, but it reminds me:


9. Maintenance - Keep your shit in order.  Sharpen the knives, clean the tools.  Grease what needs grease, clean what needs cleanings, organize the kit bags, wrap up the cord properly, inspect fittings, oil leather, singe any fraying synthetics, patch holes, check fluids, inspect da decks, etc.  Don't bother me with failures arrising from not beign arsed to.  Note to self: The con is OVER, take the fucking handcuffs out of your coat before they're noticed, fool. 

 
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: LMNO on April 26, 2011, 03:30:06 PM
Is it just me, or is this turning into the sacred rite of CRAZY PREPARED (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrazyPrepared)?
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:37:47 PM
Fuck. :lulz:
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Suu on April 26, 2011, 03:38:02 PM
10: Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthin ta fuck wit?
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:39:45 PM
Not a Sacrement, but you can chissel that into the Commandments as #11.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Luna on April 26, 2011, 03:40:15 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 26, 2011, 03:30:06 PM
Is it just me, or is this turning into the sacred rite of CRAZY PREPARED (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrazyPrepared)?

Well, yes.

You should've seen my face when I last asked Richter for a fairly common piece of hardware, and he DIDN'T HAVE ONE.  Not in his bag, not in the car...  Didn't have it.

Nurse East pulled it off, though.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:43:28 PM
That was door hardware.  I never carry door hardware, since I plan to care a pallisade from the bones of my enemies.

R:  Necromancy?  Attrocity?  You're jsut not enthusiastic enough about your recycling.  Go green.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Luna on April 26, 2011, 03:47:22 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:43:28 PM
That was door hardware.  I never carry door hardware, since I plan to care a pallisade from the bones of my enemies.

R:  Necromancy?  Attrocity?  You're jsut not enthusiastic enough about your recycling.  Go green.

I just don't have enough enemies to build a decent palisade.  I must not be trying hard enough.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:49:08 PM
10.  Bullshit - Make something up.  Lie, spin tales, and amuse those around you.  See how long it can go before they call it as bullshit.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:50:42 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 26, 2011, 03:47:22 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:43:28 PM
That was door hardware.  I never carry door hardware, since I plan to care a pallisade from the bones of my enemies.

R:  Necromancy?  Attrocity?  You're jsut not enthusiastic enough about your recycling.  Go green.

I just don't have enough enemies to build a decent palisade.  I must not be trying hard enough.

Or you just need to get choosy about where to set up a postion.  If Diablo 2 taught me anything, it's that you don't want to have to cast bone wall dozens of times in the middle of nowhere.
Title: Re: The Richterran Sacrements
Post by: Luna on April 26, 2011, 03:52:50 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:50:42 PM
Quote from: Luna on April 26, 2011, 03:47:22 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 26, 2011, 03:43:28 PM
That was door hardware.  I never carry door hardware, since I plan to care a pallisade from the bones of my enemies.

R:  Necromancy?  Attrocity?  You're jsut not enthusiastic enough about your recycling.  Go green.

I just don't have enough enemies to build a decent palisade.  I must not be trying hard enough.

Or you just need to get choosy about where to set up a postion.  If Diablo 2 taught me anything, it's that you don't want to have to cast bone wall dozens of times in the middle of nowhere.

I'm not sure I could properly fill a doorway, once I blast all the flesh off.  I'm definitely not trying hard enough.