Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 10:43:19 PM

Title: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2011, 10:43:19 PM
There are big smelly blue lakes all over the East coast that testify to this fact.

Nobody knows what his motivation is, but Richter has never seen a porta-potty that he didn't Hulk out on and destroy with the hammer-like power of his fists alone.  Shards of plastic and the horribly familiar blue fluid are all that is left when the whirlwind of destruction ends.

PROTIP:  Do never go into a portajohn in Providence, because that shit might last the rest of your life.

This public service notice brought to you by The Council for a More Interesting America.

Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 03, 2011, 10:57:14 PM
 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Suu on May 03, 2011, 11:11:10 PM
Yep. I've been an eyewitness to this fact, unfortunately.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: leln on May 03, 2011, 11:26:47 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 03, 2011, 11:11:10 PM
Yep. I've been an eyewitness to this fact, unfortunately.

THIS. Ask me about the day of our Irish grandfather's funeral (which, disturbingly enough, coincided with St. Patrick's Day) sometime.


I fucking dare you.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Richter on May 03, 2011, 11:37:10 PM
Some shit you just don't stand for.

For one thing, we fucking OWN this planet now.  At least the continent.  So we should have decent human type facilities at hand, and I won't stand for any place that doesn't.  Sporting events, festivals, or any other excuse to trot out those horrilbe turd fountains is jsut an insult.  IT's rubbing it in our own noses that we couldn't be bothered to get some real shitter infrastructure in place.

I still remember shivering out a monster log in a thin plastic booth before the Head of the Charles, with burly oarsmen howling and threatening me if I didn't finish soon, and responding back that I'd wipe with THEM if they didn't can the noise.  Then having to make good when Ir ealized I was out of paper. 

Oh the beat the shit out of me, but I rowed that race with a clean bum (though somewhat bruised)

NAturally, the ivy leauge ascot twits who RAN the event were drunk, and taking nancy little rabbit poops in the upper floor of the HArvard boathouse while sipping port, deciding when they'd deign to decend and fire the starting gun for the next race.  Fuckers.

Since then it's been the same.  I'm no ludite, but I am iconoclast.  And I will smash DOWN those foul blue tankards of filth, stand attop the wreckage, the debris brewing the very ai around me into jenkem while the people moan and puke.  AS they wail and spontaneously soil themselves, no longer able to discern "Bathroom" from "not bathroom", I will wipe the blue from my brow and growl

"Do better."
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 03, 2011, 11:44:14 PM
Oh, Pennsic is gonna be FUN...
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: leln on May 04, 2011, 12:07:16 AM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 11:44:14 PM
Oh, Pennsic is gonna be FUN...

If it makes you feel any better, the entire East Coast will suffer with you. My kin seldom do things by halves.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 04, 2011, 02:01:33 AM
Quote from: leln on May 04, 2011, 12:07:16 AM
Quote from: Luna on May 03, 2011, 11:44:14 PM
Oh, Pennsic is gonna be FUN...

If it makes you feel any better, the entire East Coast will suffer with you. My kin seldom do things by halves.

I'm just hoping he leaves at least one intact so there's someplace for me to take a piss on our side of the lake.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 04, 2011, 02:27:27 AM
I think I'm gonna be skeert of porta-potties now... :tinfoilhat:
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 04, 2011, 03:07:38 AM
Quote from: Nigel on May 04, 2011, 02:27:27 AM
I think I'm gonna be skeert of porta-potties now... :tinfoilhat:

Not half as skeert as I'm gonna be when I have to use one, with no idea where Richter is, other than "somewhere around here..."
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Suu on May 04, 2011, 03:11:31 AM
Yep. I will walk the next block over to use the portajohns when he's around. Just sayin'.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 04, 2011, 03:29:26 AM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 04, 2011, 03:11:31 AM
Yep. I will walk the next block over to use the portajohns when he's around. Just sayin'.

No kidding.  Just what I want, to be seated on the throne when THIS happens:

(http://media.kitsapsun.com/media/img/photos/2008/06/24/20080624-133621-pic-993422221_t607.jpg)
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Suu on May 04, 2011, 04:14:28 AM
WHO PEED IN THE PURSE HOLDER????!!!
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Jasper on May 04, 2011, 04:21:15 AM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 04, 2011, 04:14:28 AM
WHO PEED IN THE PURSE HOLDER????!!!

:lulz:  Fucking lol'd
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Suu on May 04, 2011, 04:22:05 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 04, 2011, 04:21:15 AM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 04, 2011, 04:14:28 AM
WHO PEED IN THE PURSE HOLDER????!!!

:lulz:  Fucking lol'd

You know you're a SCAdian when...
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 04, 2011, 10:42:08 AM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 04, 2011, 04:22:05 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 04, 2011, 04:21:15 AM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 04, 2011, 04:14:28 AM
WHO PEED IN THE PURSE HOLDER????!!!

:lulz:  Fucking lol'd

You know you're a SCAdian when...

Sadly, is a true story.  I know the guy who overheard the woman bitching said line.   :lulz:

One does pause to wonder, though...

Is Richter's destruction of these temporary shelters actually born of loathing (and, lemme tell you, after a week of using the things while camping in 100 degree heat with a population of motherfuckers who don't have the brains to close the fucking lid, I DO understand) or something else...

Rumor is that the destruction of the pictured unit was NOT, in fact, due to Richter's fists...  Rather, it was a victim of the natural result of a decent air seal and Richter's consumption of an extra serving of vindaloo...
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Suu on May 04, 2011, 12:40:16 PM
I heard the "pee in the purse holder" bit in Florida at the Renaissance Festival this spring from the Bawdy Boys. So either it's an urban legend, or word travels fast in the SCA/Rennie circles.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Richter on May 04, 2011, 03:20:54 PM
I heard a great yarn from a Vietnam vet about latrines filled with JP-9 jet fuel doing BAD things to cigar chomping asshole commanders, that basically resulted in a scene like that picture.  (And the world's most brutal tan line on the commander.)
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Suu on May 04, 2011, 03:22:00 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 04, 2011, 03:20:54 PM
I heard a great yarn from a Vietnam vet about latrines filled with JP-9 jet fuel doing BAD things to cigar chomping asshole commanders, that basically resulted in a scene like that picture.  (And the world's most brutal tan line on the commander.)

Sounds like one of Master Bjorn or Baron Ernst's stories.
Title: Re: NO PORTA-POTTY CAN WITHSTAND RICHTER'S FISTS 'O DOOM.
Post by: Luna on May 04, 2011, 03:22:11 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on May 04, 2011, 12:40:16 PM
I heard the "pee in the purse holder" bit in Florida at the Renaissance Festival this spring from the Bawdy Boys. So either it's an urban legend, or word travels fast in the SCA/Rennie circles.

Heard it from Master P at Pennsic.

Quote from: Richter on May 04, 2011, 03:20:54 PM
I heard a great yarn from a Vietnam vet about latrines filled with JP-9 jet fuel doing BAD things to cigar chomping asshole commanders, that basically resulted in a scene like that picture.  (And the world's most brutal tan line on the commander.)

:lulz: