Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 06, 2011, 10:06:27 PM

Title: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 06, 2011, 10:06:27 PM
http://www.good.is/post/you-won-t-attract-women-with-cellphone-pictures-of-your-penis/
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Suu on June 06, 2011, 10:09:36 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:12:46 PM
Quote"The male sexual brain is like a single toggle switch, whereas the female sexual brain is like the cockpit of an F1 fighter jet," neuroscientist Sai Gaddam said last month after studying female and male sexual cues. "There are tons of dials and instruments, and there's sophisticated calibration going on."


Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on June 06, 2011, 10:15:10 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:06:27 PM
http://www.good.is/post/you-won-t-attract-women-with-cellphone-pictures-of-your-penis/
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:23:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

I'd ask if it ever had, but you've got that whole testosterone-flying-out-of-your-scalp thing going, and it might have...
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:26:26 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:23:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

I'd ask if it ever had, but you've got that whole testosterone-flying-out-of-your-scalp thing going, and it might have...

No, actually, I have JUST enough self-respect to not engage in that sort of thing.   :lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on June 06, 2011, 10:28:59 PM
I had a guy send me a picture of his penis once.  We worked together and had for quite a while, I considered us friends, we got along great.  I burst out laughing and immediately went from awesome co-worker to frigid bitch in a matter of a second.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:31:40 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 06, 2011, 10:28:59 PM
I had a guy send me a picture of his penis once.  We worked together and had for quite a while, I considered us friends, we got along great.  I burst out laughing and immediately went from awesome co-worker to frigid bitch in a matter of a second.

You sure it was his dick?

I mean, it could have been a forward.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:34:02 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:31:40 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 06, 2011, 10:28:59 PM
I had a guy send me a picture of his penis once.  We worked together and had for quite a while, I considered us friends, we got along great.  I burst out laughing and immediately went from awesome co-worker to frigid bitch in a matter of a second.

You sure it was his dick?

I mean, it could have been a forward.

:lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:42:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.

Not nearly so much as the fact that, "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" has actually worked for someone who I've personally met.  (They've been married for decades now.)
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:46:17 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:42:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.

Not nearly so much as the fact that, "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" has actually worked for someone who I've personally met.  (They've been married for decades now.)

That's being bold (and crass), and that can work.

Screaming out of a moving car, though?  :lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 06, 2011, 10:50:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.

yeah, like I'm gonna get out my grappling hook and throw it at the back of their retreating pickup?
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:54:29 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:46:17 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:42:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.

Not nearly so much as the fact that, "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" has actually worked for someone who I've personally met.  (They've been married for decades now.)

That's being bold (and crass), and that can work.

Screaming out of a moving car, though?  :lulz:

Yeah, funny, that's never actually made me think, "yeah, I wanna see more of HIM."
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2011, 11:12:14 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:42:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.

Not nearly so much as the fact that, "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" has actually worked for someone who I've personally met.  (They've been married for decades now.)

It's also worked for someone you've only met online.

I sort of suspect it might work more often than could reasonably be believed.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 07, 2011, 12:05:37 AM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 06, 2011, 11:12:14 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2011, 10:42:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2011, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, right.  Next you'll be telling me that hollering "HEYYY BAYYYBEEEE" out the window of my car won't get me any ass.

:lulz:

That has always mystified me.

Not nearly so much as the fact that, "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" has actually worked for someone who I've personally met.  (They've been married for decades now.)

It's also worked for someone you've only met online.

I sort of suspect it might work more often than could reasonably be believed.

Probably a lot of things out there that work more often than you'd think.  (Hell, I've had, "Are you going to get me drunk and take advantage of me, or what?" work...  Damn, hadn't thought about that one in ages...)
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Freeky on June 07, 2011, 01:28:19 AM
QuoteThe anecdotal evidence for my case is solid. "The penis isn't pretty," said my friend Maria when I asked her if she'd enjoy receiving photos of a man's privates. "It's useful and it serves a purpose, but it's not aesthetically pleasing. It's like a corkscrew in that way."



Opinionated opinion is still just an opinion.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2011, 01:33:37 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 07, 2011, 01:28:19 AM
QuoteThe anecdotal evidence for my case is solid. "The penis isn't pretty," said my friend Maria when I asked her if she'd enjoy receiving photos of a man's privates. "It's useful and it serves a purpose, but it's not aesthetically pleasing. It's like a corkscrew in that way."



Opinionated opinion is still just an opinion.

I like penises, and looking at penises that are attached to men I like and am attracted to. I find them aesthetically pleasing.

However, a cell-phone cock shot is never hot. Sending one to a woman you are not already entangled with is not hot, or productive.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2011, 01:34:00 AM
Cell phone ball shots, on the other hand, are ALWAYS FUNNY.

Hey, I didn't make the rules.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Freeky on June 07, 2011, 01:37:07 AM
328% troof.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 07, 2011, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 01:34:00 AM
Cell phone ball shots, on the other hand, are ALWAYS FUNNY.

:cn:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Phox on June 07, 2011, 04:05:07 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 07, 2011, 01:28:19 AM
QuoteThe anecdotal evidence for my case is solid. "The penis isn't pretty," said my friend Maria when I asked her if she'd enjoy receiving photos of a man's privates. "It's useful and it serves a purpose, but it's not aesthetically pleasing. It's like a corkscrew in that way."



Opinionated opinion is still just an opinion.
That was my thought as well. I like looking at dicks.

Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 01:33:37 AM
I like penises, and looking at penises that are attached to men I like and am attracted to. I find them aesthetically pleasing.

However, a cell-phone cock shot is never hot. Sending one to a woman you are not already entangled with is not hot, or productive.

What Nigel said.

Also, lulz to the balls.  :lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Suu on June 07, 2011, 04:22:12 AM
I've gotten my fair share of cock shots in my day.

I've only been impressed once, and that's because it was proven to me that it wasn't a forward.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2011, 07:26:00 AM
Survey so far shows that 100% of chicks think unsolicited cock shots are hot if it's a guy they're already sleeping with, and offputting otherwise.

Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 07, 2011, 11:46:59 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 01:34:00 AM
Cell phone ball shots, on the other hand, are ALWAYS FUNNY.

Hey, I didn't make the rules.

100% TROOF.

I have a bad habit of letting my shipmates know, visually, exactly what's been going on with my scrotum since we've been laid off.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 07, 2011, 11:48:46 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 07:26:00 AM
Survey so far shows that 100% of chicks think unsolicited cock shots are hot if it's a guy they're already sleeping with, and offputting otherwise.



Offputting... or funny (not the reaction one wants when trying to use them to attract, one would think).
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Suu on June 07, 2011, 02:28:21 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 07:26:00 AM
Survey so far shows that 100% of chicks think unsolicited cock shots are hot if it's a guy they're already sleeping with, and offputting otherwise.



Yeah pretty much. Because at that point it's just a tease.

Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 01:34:00 AM
Cell phone ball shots, on the other hand, are ALWAYS FUNNY.

Hey, I didn't make the rules.

That's because testicles are just hysterical. Period.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Elder Iptuous on June 07, 2011, 02:51:32 PM
this one fellow i know has, on several occasions, gone to a bar and had a friend tell people that he got some fake testicles and that he's walking around with the prosthetic nuts hanging out of his pants to get a rise out of people.  He then walks up to the ladies that are being met up with at the bar with his actual sack hanging out, shows them his sack, claims it to be his actual sack, and invites them to fondle it.  so far, it has not been refused.  the girls each in turn fondle his nuts, and this is even after is has become fairly apparent after the first one or two fondlings that they are, in fact, his actual balls.
and he then becomes a plaything for one of the girls that night.

of course, it probably helps that he's a ripped corn-fed fellow with an action hero jawline and successfully mixes a good sense of humor and an alphamale personality.  it's like he can shoot raw pheromones in the manner of a spitting cobra...


Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Disco Pickle on June 07, 2011, 02:51:53 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 01:34:00 AM
Cell phone ball shots, on the other hand, are ALWAYS FUNNY.

Hey, I didn't make the rules.

not when the ball shot is taken by a friend and made your background for you to find in the next day.

alright, it was funny, but I'll never leave my phone there again.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2011, 04:28:54 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on June 07, 2011, 02:51:53 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 01:34:00 AM
Cell phone ball shots, on the other hand, are ALWAYS FUNNY.

Hey, I didn't make the rules.

not when the ball shot is taken by a friend and made your background for you to find in the next day.

alright, it was funny, but I'll never leave my phone there again.

Dude, that's EXTRA funny!  :lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Payne on June 07, 2011, 05:28:07 PM
I am forbidden to take pictures of my own genitalia for sending at people.

I am forbidden to shout "NO! I DON'T WANNA GO INNA BOX!" when I break the rules.

I am forbidden to tell you what the rules are.

Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on June 07, 2011, 05:30:24 PM
damn straight!

:lulz:
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Cain on June 07, 2011, 05:34:43 PM
I take pictures of my dick, print them on A4 sheets, make them into paper airplanes and throw them through the windows of people I'm attracted to.

Is that OK?
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Jasper on June 07, 2011, 05:40:57 PM
Well, it is to ISO spec so I don't see why not.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2011, 05:42:18 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 07, 2011, 05:34:43 PM
I take pictures of my dick, print them on A4 sheets, make them into paper airplanes and throw them through the windows of people I'm attracted to.

Is that OK?

:lulz:

That might actually get me to date someone.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Disco Pickle on June 07, 2011, 05:48:20 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 07, 2011, 05:34:43 PM
I take pictures of my dick, print them on A4 sheets, make them into paper airplanes and throw them through the windows of people I'm attracted to.

Is that OK?

:lulz:

To revenge myself on the guy who left his balls as my background, I printed out 10 copies of a shot of mine and left them around his house. 

He hasn't found all of them yet, because he calls me every time he stumbles across one and he's only called 4 times.

Those time bombs could be going off for years.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Payne on June 07, 2011, 06:00:56 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 07, 2011, 05:34:43 PM
I take pictures of my dick, print them on A4 sheets, make them into paper airplanes and throw them through the windows of people I'm attracted to.

Is that OK?

That's not OK.

That's awesome.
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Luna on June 07, 2011, 07:24:37 PM
Quote from: Payne on June 07, 2011, 06:00:56 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 07, 2011, 05:34:43 PM
I take pictures of my dick, print them on A4 sheets, make them into paper airplanes and throw them through the windows of people I'm attracted to.

Is that OK?

That's not OK.

That's awesome.

Yeah, points for having the nerve to be within range...
Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Suu on June 07, 2011, 08:49:53 PM
If I man ever did that to me, I'd propose marriage and pop out a male child on the spot.

Title: Re: OMG WOW SURPRISE!
Post by: Triple Zero on July 10, 2011, 06:23:19 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on June 07, 2011, 05:48:20 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 07, 2011, 05:34:43 PM
I take pictures of my dick, print them on A4 sheets, make them into paper airplanes and throw them through the windows of people I'm attracted to.

Is that OK?

:lulz:

To revenge myself on the guy who left his balls as my background, I printed out 10 copies of a shot of mine and left them around his house. 

He hasn't found all of them yet, because he calls me every time he stumbles across one and he's only called 4 times.

Those time bombs could be going off for years.

Which reminds me, the first DoD a couple of years ago, we (Payne + I) salted someone's bookshelves (bigass collection, full with books and DVDs) with loads of small paper strips with memebombs printed on them ... I'm pretty sure they'll be finding them forever :lol: