Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them. They express views and opinions of no kind. No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either.
Behold! I've devised a plan that will leave all other plans with feelings of inadequacy and a persistent fungal infection. The world is finally reaching the tipping point! Brothers and Sisters are divided among themselves in ways that no longer even need the pretext of reason. In the mess made by the more primitive primates of this world I have been watching and building. Soon I will be a fresh menace in the marketing world, One that would make Barnum, Bernays, and Reich all proud! (It's too bad most of them are dead)
I turned my grimy hands to scrabbling for an Icon. That is when I found Eris! She was so beautiful.. The irony if the whole Illiad situation to me is that clearly Eris Is the prettiest one! It was also impressive that she managed to throw the golden apple at all. It clearly works just fine on lesser goddesses.
Having no real way to relate to you all other than the hotness of your goddess, I won't try very hard. I'm an outsider to this world and it's sorcerous distr :fnord: ctions. It would be foolish of me to discuss my origins openly so I will reign it in from here.
I want to open Hail ing frequencies with you followers of Eris. Though I can earnestly call the magics (Magicks?, Majics?, Magiqs?) of your world rather like a comic book compared to even the basic instruction of my people, (Mom ever catch you diddling to the pictures in the Necronomicon?)I can relate to you and your sense of humor. It's a most powerful asset. Those of your world that would shackle themselves to a description of magical seem to have lost much of it in the time that your world has been lost to us, but I say too much.
The core(if you will(or not)) of my plan is to produce a counter current to this lack of life and humor in the most readily available method your silly post-whatever Noosphere (You spell check device is a moron!) can handle, Marketing. I will blend fiction and fantasy with the real world in a fashion that will infallibly draw attention. Consider this new thread an opportunity to observe, comment, wail and cry, find fulfillment, or most any other thing.
Thank you sincerely for your time and good fortune in your days.
Sin-seriously,
Joseph, Wizard, Proprietor of http://ErisErotica.com (http://eriserotica.com)
Sudden quote: If Mathematics is the key to the universe, art is learning to pick the lock, and Funny is kicking the door in and failing!
Eris is an emaciated old hag of a goddess.
That is all.
I'll let her know you feel that way. That said, maybe you just need a palate swap?
Eris is a vicious bitch laughing and waiting for you to cut your own throat.
Eris is a tidy, polite spinster ready to cut you in half with her quiet tongue.
Eris is an old withered hag ignoring your noble efforts at civilization, patiently waiting for the tide to come in and sweep you and your bullshit away so she can once again focus on important things.
Eris is that greasy, misshapen step into what you thought was solid ground but is suddenly a sickly pool of your previous worldview which is now useless, WAS always useless. She is the enduring lack of a quality replacement, and equally worthless, worldview.
Eris is the receding hairline, the clogged toilet, the festering wound, the lucky rats on an old battlefield and the fresh resting place of heroes.
Eris is that little bit of bird shit that found its way on your new shoes on an interview day.
Eris is the comfort you give yourself, that these things and others, things that pervade you life without your asking and do nothing but make you feel like a cold, lonely little monkey on a planet stuffed to the brim with cold, lonely little monkeys, that these things mean something. That maybe they're here to challenge you, to strengthen you eventually. And while you keep yourself occupied with what is yet another fantasy she is laughing at you.
Your Palate is Her Little Bitch.
And it's spelled Maaahjjj*jkdsjas@nh$.
Quote from: Alty on June 16, 2011, 11:54:50 PM
Eris is a vicious bitch laughing and waiting for you to cut your own throat.
Eris is a tidy, polite spinster ready to cut you in half with her quiet tongue.
Eris is an old withered hag ignoring your noble efforts at civilization, patiently waiting for the tide to come in and sweep you and your bullshit away so she can once again focus on important things.
Eris is that greasy, misshapen step into what you thought was solid ground but is suddenly a sickly pool of your previous worldview which is now useless, WAS always useless. She is the enduring lack of a quality replacement, and equally worthless, worldview.
Eris is the receding hairline, the clogged toilet, the festering wound, the lucky rats on an old battlefield and the fresh resting place of heroes.
Eris is that little bit of bird shit that found its way on your new shoes on an interview day.
Eris is the comfort you give yourself, that these things and others, things that pervade you life without your asking and do nothing but make you feel like a cold, lonely little monkey on a planet stuffed to the brim with cold, lonely little monkeys, that these things mean something. That maybe they're here to challenge you, to strengthen you eventually. And while you keep yourself occupied with what is yet another fantasy she is laughing at you.
Your Palate is Her Little Bitch.
And it's spelled Maaahjjj*jkdsjas@nh$.
:mittens:
Ah, another mortal soul with a firm grip on the goddess. Good for you! I am in agreement, but she is also...
The rainbow from the morning sun on the transmission fluid leaking out of your car.
The hot girl that assures you not only is she legal but disease free that you spend all night hitting on only to see her her run off with some other person and ruin THEIR life.
The moment of synchronized blinkers at the traffic light that distracts you just long enough to get you killed.
The first piss of the morning that forks and gets all over your one-night-stand's bathroom and whatever you're still wearing.
The only interesting thing that's happened in theology since the Baron Samedi broke up with Mama Brigid (just a rumor though)
There, some of you guys like fives. That's good. I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 12:13:48 AM
There, some of you guys like fives. That's good. I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.
wut
What Freeky said
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 17, 2011, 03:58:04 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 12:13:48 AM
There, some of you guys like fives. That's good. I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.
wut
Sorry, I felt like trying to give (at least to me) more entertaining and perhaps less bluntly dark perspectives on Eris than supplied Alty. Not that it(or any thing) was necessary, but I enjoyed the exercise. I stopped at five because that's when I thought it was good. There is no accounting for taste though!
How'd that work out for you, old boy?
/
:judge:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 04:42:09 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 17, 2011, 03:58:04 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 12:13:48 AM
There, some of you guys like fives. That's good. I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.
wut
Sorry, I felt like trying to give (at least to me) more entertaining and perhaps less bluntly dark perspectives on Eris than supplied Alty. Not that it(or any thing) was necessary, but I enjoyed the exercise. I stopped at five because that's when I thought it was good. There is no accounting for taste though!
Well, I guess as a creative writing excersize, it was all right. But you might notice around here, we don't yap on and on about LAWLof5, or speak incoherently, or pretend (to a greater extent) that Eris is anything other than a huge bitch, who prefers fucking your shit to playing harmless pranks while you watch.
Eris is the 3:00 AM hairball that you discover with your feet on the way to the bathroom.
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 17, 2011, 08:51:21 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 04:42:09 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 17, 2011, 03:58:04 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 12:13:48 AM
There, some of you guys like fives. That's good. I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.
wut
Sorry, I felt like trying to give (at least to me) more entertaining and perhaps less bluntly dark perspectives on Eris than supplied Alty. Not that it(or any thing) was necessary, but I enjoyed the exercise. I stopped at five because that's when I thought it was good. There is no accounting for taste though!
Well, I guess as a creative writing excersize, it was all right. But you might notice around here, we don't yap on and on about LAWLof5, or speak incoherently, or pretend (to a greater extent) that Eris is anything other than a huge bitch, who prefers fucking your shit to playing harmless pranks while you watch.
I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me. I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing. I set up this thread to occasionally post ranty characterizations. They will have vague disclaimers similar to the first post. My more sincere stuff will actually be over on this other thread. http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=29485.0 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=29485.0)
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 01:38:26 PM
I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me. I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.
Who cares? It is what it is. I mean, if you're into geriatric psycho porn, more power to you.
Quote from: Alty on June 17, 2011, 07:20:28 AM
How'd that work out for you, old boy?
/
:judge:
It's fun so far. Gotta say that post scared the giblets out of my pet chicken, all of it true. I guess you guys get enough fresh new Eris lovers in here full of this Principia Discordia thing and with a fresh copy of the Illuminatus! trilogy. I'll bet some of them were super normalized before exposure. I think it's like when a hardcore and talented sinner converts to Islam or Christianity (few convert to Judaism but I know @least 1). Even other people in their faith can find them too much. The big difference is that you guys seem to have no real inhibitions about bursting (through prick or over-inflation) their balloon. Please bear for a moment that I'm not one of those types. I like to use nonsense as somthing of a seasoning or surreptitious poison.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 17, 2011, 01:49:27 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 01:38:26 PM
I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me. I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.
Who cares? It is what it is. I mean, if you're into geriatric psycho porn, more power to you.
Actually the age joke is one of my favorites. You see for the biz I'm setting up I'm going to build a mythology into my marketing. A tale that I'm not gonna spill all at once here, but essentially a mishmash if various theistic and non theistic mythoi. I'm going to paint a world not just darker but less meaningful and then make it funny. I'm going to use alot of thematic elements from Discordianism, Gamer culture, Classical Greece & Rome, Monotheism, Polytheism, Paulytheism, Fraternal Orders, or whatever else and paint it against a background of normalcy and despair. Give it a little time and I'll show you, cause it's not like it's the end of the world or anything :fnord:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 02:05:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 17, 2011, 01:49:27 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 01:38:26 PM
I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me. I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.
Who cares? It is what it is. I mean, if you're into geriatric psycho porn, more power to you.
Actually the age joke is one of my favorites. You see for the biz I'm setting up I'm going to build a mythology into my marketing. A tale that I'm not gonna spill all at once here, but essentially a mishmash if various theistic and non theistic mythoi. I'm going to paint a world not just darker but less meaningful and then make it funny. I'm going to use alot of thematic elements from Discordianism, Gamer culture, Classical Greece & Rome, Monotheism, Polytheism, Paulytheism, Fraternal Orders, or whatever else and paint it against a background of normalcy and despair. Give it a little time and I'll show you, cause it's not like it's the end of the world or anything :fnord:
IT'S THE
TRIUMPANT RETURN OF BEN MACK!
(http://www.rekenterprises.com/images/HFCB6_-_Connoisseur_Butler_6Ft_CF.jpg)
what an enticing blend of techniques.
*takes a long sniff*
I detect pagan, Uncle BadTouch, ben mack, and a hint of setting orange?
So this must be a 2009 vintage. Mm, it was a good year.
Don't know who this Ben Mack fella is, but Google is teaching me as I type! After a public rant performance someone told me I sounded like Bill Hicks. Didn't know who he was at the time either. I sure do now though. Thank Whomever for the transistor and it's ability to make forgotten events kept in dusty storage rooms on tape potentially viral again.
Upon only light research I'll consider further comparisons to this Ben Mack a very flattering compliment.
Neat interview I found: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6757990819784402795# (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6757990819784402795#)
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 03:45:30 PM
Upon only light research I'll consider further comparisons to this Ben Mack a very flattering compliment.
Oh, dear.
:facepalm:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 17, 2011, 03:45:30 PM
Upon only light research I'll consider further comparisons to this Ben Mack a very flattering compliment.
Neat interview I found: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6757990819784402795# (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6757990819784402795#)
Do some research on this forum.
You probably wont be so flattered after that.
Ok, running a search...
No matches here. Maybe just a hint of what you mean? I liked the videos so far.
To be helpful: Literate Chaotic, Discordian Book Club, Poker Without Cards.
There's also an unlimited fail thread, somewhere.
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=21524.0
Thank you.. and now to power read for a bit.
at the Discordian Meetup in Connecticut this year, I was walkin around with a yo-yo shouting I'M BRINGIN IT BACK LIKE BEN MACK
Eater of Clowns looked like he was about to throw a frying pan at me :lulz:
"IF YOU SAY HIS NAME HE WILL APPEAR"
\
(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001528039/5711398989_doomsayer1_xlarge.jpeg)
Alright, I think I get it. Took a moment to realize that the man had been posting here himself and now has a handle of "Love" on his account. Then I looked at his post history.. Never fear! When I post on these forums it's to share art and ideas because I like Discordianism a bit and Eris a lot.
He seems to be attempting to sell himself on just about every post and mostly caught up in characterizing himself. I will from time to time portray characterizations But they are mostly fiction and I know it. It seems that he's trying to "wear himself" in his posts, but is a poor tailor and a worse tale teller. That said he seems to be of high intelligence, knowledge, and motivation, but seeks influence and has only the tools of techno-marketing to work with. It comes off as a very optimistic form of the Borg that just wants everyone to have clean water and buy other crap. Leadership incorporates more than that and my experience is that it gains much of it's power from personal sacrifice and the ability to not just flashpan inspire people but also actually help them. Not that I'm an expert or anything.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 16, 2011, 11:32:05 PM
Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them. They express views and opinions of no kind. No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either.
Behold! I've devised a plan that will leave all other plans with feelings of inadequacy and a persistent fungal infection. The world is finally reaching the tipping point! Brothers and Sisters are divided among themselves in ways that no longer even need the pretext of reason. In the mess made by the more primitive primates of this world I have been watching and building. Soon I will be a fresh menace in the marketing world, One that would make Barnum, Bernays, and Reich all proud! (It's too bad most of them are dead)
I turned my grimy hands to scrabbling for an Icon. That is when I found Eris! She was so beautiful.. The irony if the whole Illiad situation to me is that clearly Eris Is the prettiest one! It was also impressive that she managed to throw the golden apple at all. It clearly works just fine on lesser goddesses.
Having no real way to relate to you all other than the hotness of your goddess, I won't try very hard. I'm an outsider to this world and it's sorcerous distr :fnord: ctions. It would be foolish of me to discuss my origins openly so I will reign it in from here.
I want to open Hail ing frequencies with you followers of Eris. Though I can earnestly call the magics (Magicks?, Majics?, Magiqs?) of your world rather like a comic book compared to even the basic instruction of my people, (Mom ever catch you diddling to the pictures in the Necronomicon?)I can relate to you and your sense of humor. It's a most powerful asset. Those of your world that would shackle themselves to a description of magical seem to have lost much of it in the time that your world has been lost to us, but I say too much.
The core(if you will(or not)) of my plan is to produce a counter current to this lack of life and humor in the most readily available method your silly post-whatever Noosphere (You spell check device is a moron!) can handle, Marketing. I will blend fiction and fantasy with the real world in a fashion that will infallibly draw attention. Consider this new thread an opportunity to observe, comment, wail and cry, find fulfillment, or most any other thing.
Thank you sincerely for your time and good fortune in your days.
Sin-seriously,
Joseph, Wizard, Proprietor of http://ErisErotica.com (http://eriserotica.com)
Sudden quote: If Mathematics is the key to the universe, art is learning to pick the lock, and Funny is kicking the door in and failing!
A fiction continued...
"May you never lose the stars"- A traditional travel blessing among wizards.
"(he/she/it) has lost the stars"- a statement that there is no hope left for the subject, also a reference to anything struggling madly to no benefit. Sometimes an insult implying incompetence.
As I said, I am an outsider to this world. I chose the word wizard from your English to describe myself because it is close enough as a descriptor. I will use the word for my kind as well. Beings like my kind travel the planes and worlds with great frequency and are explorers and observers by nature and conditioning. I believe I am not the first of my kind here but have no proof of this as you have lost much to your various "histories." In truth I have no idea where here is. This may be a surprise to some, but the people of this world have been isolated and have become deceived. The form of what you call human is astoundingly common among the worlds. Even immaterial beings, spirits and gods if you must, often prefer this form for it's sheer utility. I was born to it just like you all. I am also quite mortal and one day will die just like you as well.
In truth we are extremely similar but my kind are optimized for experiences that are perceptually and culturally denied to the majority of the people here. I will tell you plainly, "All is change, nothing is impossible." This is a basic truth among my kind. Survival in a series of unknown environments requires such flexible perception and wizards train toward it. I was a prodigy. I am extraordinarily young compared to most functional wizards. I dared where they would not and now have found myself marooned here on your world. Worse, I have discovered that your world is toxic in ways that would terrify my ex-colleagues and that have limited my ability to work "magic". The energies I must channel to do so may be over-generously described as sparse and tainted. There have been no worlds known to us in such a condition.
Though similar in form and perhaps of some common origin wizards are different in natural capability and skill. We can see vaguely into what you call the ultraviolet light spectrum at all times and also easily commune with the immaterial beings in an area. The sorcerers here use some very long and unreliable mental preparations to call on their deities and spirits that wizards are able to dispense with. This is partially from the training and partially an inherent gift. Indeed the first lesson for a student is often training to turn it off at will. The "license to depart" or banishment in your traditional summoning books is amusing in that it requires effort on par with ripping the wires out of one of your accursed "phones" and burying it in the back yard only to dig up, clean, and reassemble it when you want to use it again. The immaterial beings here have fooled you into unduly fearing them as gods or foolishly disregarding them as "non-existent." The stories you have told yourselves tell me that they and their servants among you have run this ontological racket on you flawlessly. I guess even a god's gotta eat.
I have been here for some time now and found some fascinating things. Wizards are familiar with the energy form you call electricity. They shun it as able to (for lack of a better word) "de-wizard" a wizard that tries to channel it. Being here has taught me that this is the result of ignorance and fear, though also true. The fools try to use it as they use everything else and discard it as useless and dangerous when it fails to work the way they think it should. You all showed me the light! It's brilliant. I understand the processes of how you make it and it's slave devices only poorly, but admire many of the material workarounds it has provided for the terrible shortage of magical energies here. You do everything with it! You scry, commune, cook, clean, attack, defend, research, amuse, punish, illuminate, and do hosts of other things with it. For such a recent development you've really just run with it in ways that would shame and terrify my old teachers. I just love using the devices and taking them apart!
Your "money" is also something known to us. All cultures use a medium of exchange. What is different here is the profound saturation of your minds it has accomplished. When I saw that first dollar I knew it was a trick! How could people trade stylish paper slips for everything? I laughed so hard as I watched this happen over and over and even saw fights over it! Clearly this was cheap sorcery at work, but EVERYONE was participating! I immediately realized that survival here would be much better if I played along and found ways to acquire it when needed. Even your spirits seem to really love it, their slaves ask for it so frequently.
TBC....
I've ignored your other garbage without giving you shit, depending on my mood of course. But the post above this one, the last one you made with the "wizard" crap, I find mildly fascanating. You have a very good start there, and it drew me in despite myself and my opinions, and I hope you can continue on it. The 'different perspective' take on our modern world was well written and interesting.
So, in conclusion, no mittens from me yet but, keep it up! I look forward to the next installment.
- trix
EDIT: Took out some pointless insulting. No need to take out my Calculus-inspired frustrations on you.
Quote from: trix on June 24, 2011, 07:02:28 PM
EDIT: Took out some pointless insulting. No need to take out my Calculus-inspired frustrations on you.
Awww, is our wee little Trixie growing up? :lulz:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 23, 2011, 06:32:32 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 16, 2011, 11:32:05 PM
Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them. They express views and opinions of no kind. No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either.
Sudden quote: If Mathematics is the key to the universe, art is learning to pick the lock, and Funny is kicking the door in and failing!
A fiction continued...
"May you never lose the stars"- A traditional travel blessing among wizards.
"(he/she/it) has lost the stars"- a statement that there is no hope left for the subject, also a reference to anything struggling madly to no benefit. Sometimes an insult implying incompetence.
As I said, I am an outsider to this world. I chose the word wizard from your English to describe myself because it is close enough as a descriptor. I will use the word for my kind as well. Beings like my kind travel the planes and worlds with great frequency and are explorers and observers by nature and conditioning. I believe I am not the first of my kind here but have no proof of this as you have lost much to your various "histories." In truth I have no idea where here is. This may be a surprise to some, but the people of this world have been isolated and have become deceived. The form of what you call human is astoundingly common among the worlds. Even immaterial beings, spirits and gods if you must, often prefer this form for it's sheer utility. I was born to it just like you all. I am also quite mortal and one day will die just like you as well.
In truth we are extremely similar but my kind are optimized for experiences that are perceptually and culturally denied to the majority of the people here. I will tell you plainly, "All is change, nothing is impossible." This is a basic truth among my kind. Survival in a series of unknown environments requires such flexible perception and wizards train toward it. I was a prodigy. I am extraordinarily young compared to most functional wizards. I dared where they would not and now have found myself marooned here on your world. Worse, I have discovered that your world is toxic in ways that would terrify my ex-colleagues and that have limited my ability to work "magic". The energies I must channel to do so may be over-generously described as sparse and tainted. There have been no worlds known to us in such a condition.
Though similar in form and perhaps of some common origin wizards are different in natural capability and skill. We can see vaguely into what you call the ultraviolet light spectrum at all times and also easily commune with the immaterial beings in an area. The sorcerers here use some very long and unreliable mental preparations to call on their deities and spirits that wizards are able to dispense with. This is partially from the training and partially an inherent gift. Indeed the first lesson for a student is often training to turn it off at will. The "license to depart" or banishment in your traditional summoning books is amusing in that it requires effort on par with ripping the wires out of one of your accursed "phones" and burying it in the back yard only to dig up, clean, and reassemble it when you want to use it again. The immaterial beings here have fooled you into unduly fearing them as gods or foolishly disregarding them as "non-existent." The stories you have told yourselves tell me that they and their servants among you have run this ontological racket on you flawlessly. I guess even a god's gotta eat.
I have been here for some time now and found some fascinating things. Wizards are familiar with the energy form you call electricity. They shun it as able to (for lack of a better word) "de-wizard" a wizard that tries to channel it. Being here has taught me that this is the result of ignorance and fear, though also true. The fools try to use it as they use everything else and discard it as useless and dangerous when it fails to work the way they think it should. You all showed me the light! It's brilliant. I understand the processes of how you make it and it's slave devices only poorly, but admire many of the material workarounds it has provided for the terrible shortage of magical energies here. You do everything with it! You scry, commune, cook, clean, attack, defend, research, amuse, punish, illuminate, and do hosts of other things with it. For such a recent development you've really just run with it in ways that would shame and terrify my old teachers. I just love using the devices and taking them apart!
Your "money" is also something known to us. All cultures use a medium of exchange. What is different here is the profound saturation of your minds it has accomplished. When I saw that first dollar I knew it was a trick! How could people trade stylish paper slips for everything? I laughed so hard as I watched this happen over and over and even saw fights over it! Clearly this was cheap sorcery at work, but EVERYONE was participating! I immediately realized that survival here would be much better if I played along and found ways to acquire it when needed. Even your spirits seem to really love it, their slaves ask for it so frequently.
TBC....
...CNTD
It took me some time to understand that you have merged your currency and your electrical signals. The method by which this works is utterly fascinating to me. You trust promises that only provably exist in the computer boxes that seem to run everything. Frequently your own record exists in this fashion as well. Your lives and livelihoods have become dependent on ephemeral representations of promises made by the various architects of your systems. Out of necessity, but with great enjoyment, I learned to operate some of these computers you all seem to use. I broke many at first, but they were already owned by, and on loan from, the spirit known as Great Garbage.
I must explain the spirits of your world and how they function before I can explain Great Garbage. You have MANY incorporeal beings around you all the time. Like most beings they need to sustain themselves. In most worlds and their planes this is a simple affair. The energies and thought forms they need must be readily available. Without them they are simply not present. In my time here I have discovered that your spirits need not function in the usual ways. Many have become predatory and operate by being fed by their servants or are attached to a concept that will never exhaust itself. Great Garbage operates in both fashions. It was also the first of the local spirits to manifest to me fully after my arrival.
**********************************************************************
(Frantic running, heavy breathing, incoherent shouting)
*Image of a cluttered alley with dumpster in the foreground. Dumpster is sideways with back to right wall, Root City Waste Authority logo on side. Night time scene, and cool light*
*image of Wizard wearing soaked, semi-burnt rags running around background corner and into alley*
Wizard Inner Voice: By the stars! All I wanted was a meal! Gotta get away...
(shouting gets closer, running slows)
*Wizard looks at dumpster*
*close up- emote Desperate resignation*
WIV: That looks like a spot!
*Wizard moves to foreground, opens lid of dumpster, Close up- emote total disgust*
(Semi coherent background shout "where the fuck did he go!?)
WIV: This will have to do. If my luck is good there may be something edible in here too.
(sounds of clutter moving)
*Wizard struggles into dumpster and hides, buried in trash*
*Lid appears to slam closed on it's own*
(latching sound)
(Close foot falls)
*Gang banger 1 then 2 appear around corner of alley. The are dressed in dark street clothes with hoods and bear tattoos and scarlet cloth tied in various places. Their eyes remain in shadow during the scene*
*close-up of both looking down alley. GB2 is shorter and seems dim and confused*
*GB1 looks over at GB2*
GB1: I know this motherfucker came down this way! Shit. I'm gonna find this hobo bitch and take my time on him. Think he can get away and not pay onna tab at my guy's place of biz. Fuck!
*GB1 turns head toward alley and image pops out to double bust height*
GB1: Gonna check further down. You check around here in case he comes back this way. You got it fucktard?
*GB1 exits across image to right in front of GB2*
(rapid diminishing foot falls)
*wide shot of alley. GB2 knocks over several cans and boxes. Finds dumpster closed and latched. Kicks dumpster several times and shouts*
(appropriate sound effects)
GB2: You bedda not be innere bitch! (BOOM BOOM BOOM)
*layer image of Wizard holding ears closed and concentrating placidly inside of dumpster*
*GB2 struggles with latch, but cannot figure it out*
GB2: Ugh! Fuck this shit, shit's stankin'!
*GB2 reaches into pocket and <closeup> lights a cigarette*
*GB2 stops looking around and smokes cigarette for a moment*
(cell phone rings)
*GB2 pulls phone out and puts phone to head*
Cell voice of GB1: Hey fuck this shit! I just got a call on my guy's prime shipment that just came in. Let's go get whipped, man! We can find this motherfucker later. Meet me at the Fine Fizzle and hurry the fuck up!
Gb2: Hell yeah! I'll be there inna...(click)
*GB2 takes a moment to realize he's been hung up on*
GB2: Mother fucker...
*Gb2 exits left in background out of the alley*
*Alley shot zooms in slowly toward foreground side of dumpster as sound effect changes to reflect the inside of dumpster, Overlay image of wizard crouched in the foreground and pile of assorted garbage in near background "inside" dumpster*
(Audio adds echo effects to voices and occasional junk moving)
WIV: (amused) This place is terrible. Ugh. I do not know what that smell is, but I think it unhealthy. I must find one of those light-sticks of theirs to see with. Oh... I am not alone.
(shuffling and some snapping, possibly quiet simple tone music)
*Close up of trash as garbage moves around slightly and a face of trash is lit in dim cool light with UV paint adding anthropomorphic touches.*
(sound note: actual voice nonsense will be subtly under the "Inner Voice" sound to reflect actual speech being done by wizard character. Similarly the trash or any other spirit will be punctuated with appropriate sound effects under the voice. For trash it would be crumplings, sound of spillage, or whatever. These will be added later when I get this to audio production and not reflected here)
WIV: (Curious, unworried) Who are you?
Trashy: (friendly) Heyhey. what the fuck? welcome to my place! It 's not like everyday I get to have a motherfucking guest over, much less just what my boss wanted to see.. You! Call me Trashy!
*junk face close up with arranged grin*
WIV: What!? Do you know me?
*Junk grin still on eyes narrow*
TRA: Hell yes ! We know
everything! We know where ALL the bodies are buried. Nothing gets lost without us knowing it. And unless my shit deceives me YOU motherfucker are lost!
*Close up wizard face, Eyebrow up in confusion*
WIV: I did not understand half of that, but I am definitely lost. Listen.. Trashing(?) I need to get going, and I have nothing more than thanks to offer for your hospitality, but THANK YOU very much.
*Wizard tries to stand*
(Sound effects of banging and rattling, appropriate garbage scuffling)
WIV: (annoyed) Please open the door Trashing.
TRA: (Sick deep-lung laughter) It ain't up to me anymore, stop it dickhead. Settle in! The latch is on the outside and we're gonna just sit tight and see my boss in the morning.
*Face of Trashy looking up still smiling but less so*
TRA: You hungry?
(Noises stop, settling trash as wiz sits)
*Wizard settles into garbage trying to put on a game face while starving*
WIV: Do you have food?
*BIG Trash grin*
TRA: Hell yeah! On the house. Check that paper bag over there man! There's a whole sandwich in there still in the wrapper! Have at it baby!
*Wizard inspects bag and finds pristine sandwich wrapped in unnecessary amounts of paper*
(sounds of paper rustling and occasional chewing during following dialogue)
WIV: Thank you Trashing! You have helped me twice now and I will remember it. (chewing) Who is the boss you want to bring me to?
*close up of Trashy changing expression in time to dialog*
TRA: It's TrashYY, and my boss is Great Garbage, baby! You're new here so let me just tell you there's no betta boss in this whole fucked up world. Garbage knows everything.. knew when you got here and sent word out to find you. Guess I just got lucky. Maybe I'll get me a promotion! Maybe a bigger dumpster, like one of them rail cars. I always wanted to travel!
WIV: You live in this container?
*momentary close up of wizard's eyes looking cool and reserved*
TRA: You could say that. I don't get much reason to head out to the landfill and see the boss, so I mostly stay here and do collection. In a few hours a truck will be by and it'll bring us to the boss, you just sit tight.
WIV: Sit tight to what? I do not understand. What is a truck?
TRA: Shit you really are lost! Don't know what a truck is.. (Sick chuckle) You'll find out! Just settle in and take a nap or something. It'll all shake out in the morning.
*Bust wide shot of wizard and Trashy, wizard settling in*
(pronounced settling of garbage sounds)
WIV: It is warmer in here. Very well Trashy, I will wait. Thank you for your help.
TRA: Heh heh he-hack! Don't mention it.. eh you got a name?
*Close up of wizard's eyes looking tired and far away*
WIV: I hope you will understand that I am not ready to trade names with you, TRASHY. Some things are invaluable. Slumber well.
TBC...
Note: On consideration I will not be posting further play sections here and will return to the characterized ranting. When I have the play pieces together and ready to share they will be posted in the "Bring & Brag" section of the board.
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on June 16, 2011, 11:32:05 PM
Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them. They express views and opinions of no kind. No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either.
...CNTD
It took me some time to understand that you have merged your currency and your electrical signals. The method by which this works is utterly fascinating to me. You trust promises that only provably exist in the computer boxes that seem to run everything. Frequently your own record exists in this fashion as well. Your lives and livelihoods have become dependent on ephemeral representations of promises made by the various architects of your systems. Out of necessity, but with great enjoyment, I learned to operate some of these computers you all seem to use. I broke many at first, but they were already owned by, and on loan from, the spirit known as Great Garbage.
I must explain the spirits of your world and how they function before I can explain Great Garbage. You have MANY incorporeal beings around you all the time. Like most beings they need to sustain themselves. In most worlds and their planes this is a simple affair. The energies and thought forms they need must be readily available. Without them they are simply not present. In my time here I have discovered that your spirits need not function in the usual ways. Many have become predatory and operate by being fed by their servants or are attached to a concept that will never exhaust itself. Great Garbage operates in both fashions. It was also the first of the local spirits to manifest to me fully after my arrival.
TBC....
.....CNTD
I know that it is impossible for some of the people in this world to believe that there are beings that exist without a body as they think of bodies. They have no reason to believe. In truth they are right to ignore what they cannot perceive. There is no "law" of nature that is taught to them that can explain this. Many of your more ancient texts speak to me of a time when some among you were much more aware of the planes and the hidden world of your "gods." Indeed some few of you still are well aware, but the possibility of exploration is limited by the dearth of energies and knowledge on your world.
Often the incorporeal feed upon you in a most literal fashion. They herd you and bring you up to think in particular ways agreeable to them. Without even realizing that they are there you give more or less of your own energies to them. This sacrifice need not be intentional, though it is much more efficient when intended. The way of thinking involved need not be particularly mystical. It only needs to be of an impact on your minds and world. There are indeed gods that function upon and gain strength from purely "atheist" activities.
Great Garbage has become, perhaps, the most efficient of the atheistic gods. It grows stronger as your great machines produce goods and waste. It grows stronger when you gather your waste into containers made for the purpose. It grows stronger from the things and activities you all have chosen to make part of your lives, costing it nothing. It knows it is reviled, yet even this is a form of acknowledgment, and thus it feeds. Your ways of life could not function without the very thing that you would most like to forget about yet cannot truly dispense with. It has achieved great success with a "quantity over quality" strategy.
In the end Great Garbage is a benign, even helpful, being when compared to others among these gods of yours. I will not yet go on at length about the others here. I would point out that the forces at work around you have taken much from you and war with each other for your often unwitting allegiance. This is nowhere more blatant than the problems the local Creator seems to be having with an ex-subordinate. This farcical war between "Heaven & Hell" is unlike anything my kind have ever witnessed. I would not even call it a true war. Perhaps quagmire would be a better choice in this tongue.
All living worlds have a Creator. This being is the closest to the cosmic force/mind known among wizards by a word that means both "Indefinable" and "Limitless One." I would not see this word defiled, and I could not type this word if I wanted to. My kind inadequately conceive of it as that which is unknowable, yet it knows. It is terror and awe and ecstasy and none of those things. All knowledge & form breaks on it's doorstep. You might think of the Creator of a world as it's only manifestation in a given world with executive control and the ability to be understood without the total, though often still considerable, breakdown of reason. Even as the face is only a very small part of the body, yet the part that communicates most, the Creator may be seen as the face of forces hidden, indescribable, and integral to all things. They all manifest differently in each world, and Wizards consider the rare privilege of meeting one to be a great mark of status.
TBC....