Poll
Question:
What would you rather do?
Option 1: Lick the entire surface area of a tire
votes: 8
Option 2: Chew on gum from the sidewalk for 15 minutes
votes: 14
This is a very serious question.
Could I please have more details about both the tire and the sidewalk?
Side-walk Gum, definitely. A tire has miles worth of junk on it. Dead animals, the works. Even if that gum has been sitting there a while, there's no way it's as filthy as a tire that's been rolling around for any decent distance.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 27, 2011, 05:21:15 PM
Could I please have more details about both the tire and the sidewalk?
Sadly, you don't get to inspect the goods before you put one in your mouth.
It's a random tire from a random car from a random part of the country.
The gum is from random sidewalk. They say it used to be watermelon flavored.
I would like to do both. Why is there no "both" option?
Depends on which one is closer to the coffee shop
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 27, 2011, 05:24:20 PM
I would like to do both. Why is there no "both" option?
because then it wouldn't be a difficult choice
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on June 27, 2011, 05:26:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 27, 2011, 05:24:20 PM
I would like to do both. Why is there no "both" option?
because then it wouldn't be a difficult choice
I HAVE TO HAVE THE
FULL EXPERIENCE.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 27, 2011, 05:27:41 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on June 27, 2011, 05:26:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 27, 2011, 05:24:20 PM
I would like to do both. Why is there no "both" option?
because then it wouldn't be a difficult choice
I HAVE TO HAVE THE FULL EXPERIENCE.
then, go for the tire.
it is quite possible the tire will have some gum stuck to it, however the chance of the gum having a tire stuck to it are pretty slim...
Play the odds! go for the glory!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 27, 2011, 05:24:20 PM
I would like to do both. Why is there no "both" option?
:lulz:
I chose gum.
I figured maybe if it's hot and the tire was just been running, it'd be sterilized or something.
That's kind of what I was thinking.
Then I remembered what my dog does to tires.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on June 27, 2011, 11:15:02 PM
That's kind of what I was thinking.
Then I remembered what my dog does to tires.
Ayup. Dogs don't tend to aim for blobs of gum on the sidewalk, so much...
Quote from: Cramulus on June 27, 2011, 05:23:52 PM
The gum is from random sidewalk. They say it used to be watermelon flavored.
Just noticed this.
Can I change my vote? I think that dog piss tastes better than artificial watermelon flavor.
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
Plus most roads are driven over all day long at varying speeds, can't be as much disgusting bacteria as is contained in the mouth.
Quote from: Alty on June 27, 2011, 11:54:33 PM
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
How are you so certain you're first in line for the tire?
Quote from: Alty on June 27, 2011, 11:54:33 PM
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
What if you're not the first person to lick the tire?
Quote from: Alty on June 27, 2011, 11:54:33 PM
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
What if somebody else licked the tire first?
Quote from: Alty on June 27, 2011, 11:54:33 PM
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
How do you kno-HEY!
Even if someone else licked the tire it won't be infused with the ick like the gum. Every tiny fragment of that gum, the deep bowels and recesses will have monkey spit inside it. Mouth goop would last maybe MAYBE 1/4 of the tire.
Whenever I'd decide I was done with my gum when I was about 7 years old, I'd add it to the ball of all the other gum I already chewed and left it on a shelf in my closet.
When these amalgamations got big enough I'd chew the whole thing until it lost it's flavor. So I figure gum probably is a bit inhospitable to things growing on it or in it, because I didn't get ill from doing this.
Also, I bet it would take longer than 15 minutes to lick the entire surface of a tire. Think about all the engine oil, coolant, and anti-freeze that tires roll over.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on June 28, 2011, 12:33:23 AM
Quote from: Alty on June 27, 2011, 11:54:33 PM
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
What if you're not the first person to lick the tire?
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 28, 2011, 01:37:43 AM
Quote from: Alty on June 27, 2011, 11:54:33 PM
I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.
What if somebody else licked the tire first?
:crankey:
Quote from: ☄ · · · N E T · · · ☄ on June 28, 2011, 03:20:19 AM
Whenever I'd decide I was done with my gum when I was about 7 years old, I'd add it to the ball of all the other gum I already chewed and left it on a shelf in my closet.
When these amalgamations got big enough I'd chew the whole thing until it lost it's flavor. So I figure gum probably is a bit inhospitable to things growing on it or in it, because I didn't get ill from doing this.
Also, I bet it would take longer than 15 minutes to lick the entire surface of a tire. Think about all the engine oil, coolant, and anti-freeze that tires roll over.
Yeah but you probably weren't in danger of giving yourself herpaghonasypilaids.
Maybe I'm overly paranoid on this subject but I'd rather get chemical poisoning than human poisoning. One might kill me quick but the other will reduce my quality of life over a long period. WHAT ABOUT THE HERP? I FEAR THE HERP.
Quote from: Alty on June 28, 2011, 04:27:20 AM
Quote from: ☄ · · · N E T · · · ☄ on June 28, 2011, 03:20:19 AM
Whenever I'd decide I was done with my gum when I was about 7 years old, I'd add it to the ball of all the other gum I already chewed and left it on a shelf in my closet.
When these amalgamations got big enough I'd chew the whole thing until it lost it's flavor. So I figure gum probably is a bit inhospitable to things growing on it or in it, because I didn't get ill from doing this.
Also, I bet it would take longer than 15 minutes to lick the entire surface of a tire. Think about all the engine oil, coolant, and anti-freeze that tires roll over.
Yeah but you probably weren't in danger of giving yourself herpaghonasypilaids.
Maybe I'm overly paranoid on this subject but I'd rather get chemical poisoning than human poisoning. One might kill me quick but the other will reduce my quality of life over a long period. WHAT ABOUT THE HERP? I FEAR THE HERP.
Animals shit, bleed, and die on the road with more regularity than on sidewalks.
I think it
may be the car tires that are doing this.
Do you think that a tire picks up a lot of bacteria when it's moving?
Do you think the heat of driving a car in the summer would warm the tire enough to kill much bacteria?
with the gum, on the plus side, you're getting all the bacteria in the first 10 seconds, the rest of the time is just spent chewing that disgusting hairy blob
I think I'm leaning towards the tire because after about 10 seconds of licking, my tongue would feel like a piece of dry leather and I wouldn't moisten it again until I was done. Then I'd rinse my mouth out with Listerine, water, scotch, in that order.
Can I chew the gum while drinking whiskey?
I'll allow it.
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(http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/thumb160x_millslane281x211.jpg)
Yup, I'm with Alty and Cram on this one.
Quote from: Cramulus on June 28, 2011, 02:12:38 PM
Do you think that a tire picks up a lot of bacteria when it's moving?
Do you think the heat of driving a car in the summer would warm the tire enough to kill much bacteria?
Maybe you get a tire that hasn't been driven around for days and is situated near a gutter full of horse poop, squirrel guts, and opossum rabies.
Quote from: Cramulus on June 28, 2011, 02:12:38 PM
I think I'm leaning towards the tire because after about 10 seconds of licking, my tongue would feel like a piece of dry leather and I wouldn't moisten it again until I was done. Then I'd rinse my mouth out with Listerine, water, scotch, in that order.
And that's your best case scenario: leather-tongued and free of disease.
I might luck out and get some gum that is still delicious AND lacking in disease.
YOU FOOLS!
\
:magick:
So you walk into work, home, your bar/pub afterwards and say: I licled a tire yesterday and got rabies!
Or
I picked up and chewed a piece of gum and now I have herpes!
Which one is cooler? Yeah. That's right.
Alty,
a social animal.
Though mixing whiskey with the gum changes things. Can I pour whiskey all over the tire?
Quote from: Alty on June 28, 2011, 07:53:49 PM
Can I pour whiskey all over the tire?
I'll allow it.
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(http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/thumb160x_millslane281x211.jpg)
Quote from: Cramulus on June 28, 2011, 07:54:25 PM
Quote from: Alty on June 28, 2011, 07:53:49 PM
Can I pour whiskey all over the tire?
I'll allow it.
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(http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/thumb160x_millslane281x211.jpg)
with a power sprayer?
Nope, we're doing this the old fashioned way.
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(http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/thumb160x_millslane281x211.jpg)
Doesn't disinfecting with alcohol kind of defeat the whole purpose?
Quote from: nihilbilly on June 28, 2011, 08:37:52 PM
Doesn't disinfecting with alcohol kind of defeat the whole purpose?
The purpose is making a choice. Please explain your questing in more detail.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 28, 2011, 08:40:58 PM
Quote from: nihilbilly on June 28, 2011, 08:37:52 PM
Doesn't disinfecting with alcohol kind of defeat the whole purpose?
The purpose is making a choice. Please explain your questing in more detail.
It removes the difficulty. At least for me.
chewing sterilized gum > licking sterilized tire
I'd gargle with Listerine for awhile and then chew the gum. And do a lot of saliva-spitting. Don't want to swallow that shit. Then more gargle.
ETA: Have picked up gum from the street-side, pulled gravel off of it, and chewed it for awhile before. When I was young and still lived at home. Did not die.
Quote from: nihilbilly on June 28, 2011, 08:50:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 28, 2011, 08:40:58 PM
Quote from: nihilbilly on June 28, 2011, 08:37:52 PM
Doesn't disinfecting with alcohol kind of defeat the whole purpose?
The purpose is making a choice. Please explain your questing in more detail.
It removes the difficulty. At least for me.
chewing sterilized gum > licking sterilized tire
THEN THE CHOICE IS MADE!
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(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Ne5Lb2SiFHg/SQtQNJw1VoI/AAAAAAAASQU/IiEllvSFiIY/s400/gozar-the-gozerian.jpg)
personally, if i were to chew the gum i wouldn't be able to stop wondering whose mouth it was being chewed in previously, whereas the road, i can picture fairly surely and could concentrate on the delicious whiskey...
Quote from: Cramulus on June 28, 2011, 02:12:38 PM
with the gum, on the plus side, you're getting all the bacteria in the first 10 seconds, the rest of the time is just spent chewing that disgusting hairy blob
WHY is the gum HAIRY? :crankey:
The thrilling backstory to this dilemma is that I got out of my car, looked at my tires (which were looking kind of flat), then stepped into a hairy wad of gum.
so actually the gum is not so random
and a little bit of hair is still stuck to the bottom of my shoe. :mccain:
Quote from: Alty on June 28, 2011, 07:53:49 PM
So you walk into work, home, your bar/pub afterwards and say: I licked a tire yesterday and got tire-rhea!
fixt!
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 28, 2011, 10:38:16 PM
Quote from: Alty on June 28, 2011, 07:53:49 PM
So you walk into work, home, your bar/pub afterwards and say: I licked a tire yesterday and got tire-rhea!
fixt!
:facepalm: