I bought 20+ pounds of fresh local grapes at the farmers market yesterday afternoon.
When I got home, I started eating grapes.
I ate grapes while making grape jelly.
I ate grapes while making grape juice.
I ate grapes while smoking on the patio and playing angry birds.
I ate grapes while cleaning my kitchen after the grape-ocalypse.
All in all I ate about 3 pounds of grapes, seeds and all.
I woke up at 5am and found out exactly how fast I could sprint to the bathroom.
In the subsequent 7 hours since my bowels first woke me, I have shat 4 more times in various violet hues. The last 3 have literally been nothing but a clump of grape skins and seeds, loosely held together by extraneous fecal matter. I have had to dig 3 grapeseeds out of my own anus. They're scratchy little bastards, to be sure. Now it's lunchtime and I want to walk down to An Xuyen bakery and get a couple of banh mi sandwiches for lunch, but I'm afraid to leave the house and make the 10 minute round-trip walk.
But I'm still hungry. There's gotta be something in the apartment to eat.
Oh, yeah, there's 15 pounds of grapes. Anybody wanna come over for lunch?
I'm down for a grape-eating constest. I'm actually not sure if the store next door stocks grapes. They should do...I hope so. Because I am going to grape the fuck out.
Who's with me?
Oh man...This sounds amazing.
:( Grapes are too expensive for me to participate in.
As long as the orange eating contest doesn't get thrown out, I'd love to watch one. :D
:x
My grapes are done for the year... but I know from experience exactly what that's like.
Ugh sounds awful! The furthest I ever made it in the orange eating contest was like 9 oranges, and it made my toilet look like a post-BP tropicana grovestand.
How does extreme graping compare to drinking an equivalent volume of wine?
Quote from: Cramulus on December 01, 2011, 09:57:21 PM
Ugh sounds awful! The furthest I ever made it in the orange eating contest was like 9 oranges, and it made my toilet look like a post-BP tropicana grovestand.
Don't forget about what happened to your pants. I sure won't. :lulz:
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 01, 2011, 09:37:50 PM
:( Grapes are too expensive for me to participate in.
As long as the orange eating contest doesn't get thrown out, I'd love to watch one. :D
yeah, I got a sweet deal on them for buying in bulk. The stand at the farmers market was selling them for $1 a pound anyway but when I asked what my $17 would get me, the guy just gave me an entire tote box of grapes.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 01, 2011, 09:57:21 PM
Ugh sounds awful! The furthest I ever made it in the orange eating contest was like 9 oranges, and it made my toilet look like a post-BP tropicana grovestand.
How does extreme graping compare to drinking an equivalent volume of wine?
I've drank enough wine to end up shitting my pants because I
forgot to go to the bathroom, but no amount of wine has ever caused a literally unstoppable explosion.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on December 01, 2011, 10:36:47 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 01, 2011, 09:37:50 PM
:( Grapes are too expensive for me to participate in.
As long as the orange eating contest doesn't get thrown out, I'd love to watch one. :D
yeah, I got a sweet deal on them for buying in bulk. The stand at the farmers market was selling them for $1 a pound anyway but when I asked what my $17 would get me, the guy just gave me an entire tote box of grapes.
Awesome.
DOES YOUR ASS HAVE WINE LIPS??
:cramulus:
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on December 01, 2011, 08:03:56 PMnothing but a clump of grape skins and seeds, loosely held together by extraneous fecal matter. I have had to dig 3 grapeseeds out of my own anus
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY GOT ...
:putin:
ASS-GRAPED
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 02, 2011, 09:25:50 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on December 01, 2011, 08:03:56 PMnothing but a clump of grape skins and seeds, loosely held together by extraneous fecal matter. I have had to dig 3 grapeseeds out of my own anus
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY GOT ...
:putin:
ASS-GRAPED
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 02, 2011, 09:25:50 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on December 01, 2011, 08:03:56 PMnothing but a clump of grape skins and seeds, loosely held together by extraneous fecal matter. I have had to dig 3 grapeseeds out of my own anus
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY GOT ...
:putin:
ASS-GRAPED
:spittake:
Whenever I eat a bowl of grapes, my shits get a bit messed up for the rest of the day. I can only imagine how messed up they would become if I were to consume more. Also :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: @ OP & TRIP
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
:lulz:
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
Eat grapes, have babby? :eek: Do not do!
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 02, 2011, 05:47:51 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
Eat grapes, have babby? :eek: Do not do!
Yes, massive quantities of anything is a no-no at this point. Except sleep. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL SLEEP.
I've done massive amounts of plums while pregnant with my 1st, but I don't recall forming a new asshole to digest them...it was 15 years ago, though.
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 06:24:05 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 02, 2011, 05:47:51 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
Eat grapes, have babby? :eek: Do not do!
Yes, massive quantities of anything is a no-no at this point. Except sleep. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL SLEEP.
I've done massive amounts of plums while pregnant with my 1st, but I don't recall forming a new asshole to digest them...it was 15 years ago, though.
When I was pregnant with LO I was eating up to two boxes of clementines a day. My intestines must have been very efficient.
Also, that's why her middle name is Clementine.
Quote from: Nigel on December 02, 2011, 06:56:28 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 06:24:05 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 02, 2011, 05:47:51 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
Eat grapes, have babby? :eek: Do not do!
Yes, massive quantities of anything is a no-no at this point. Except sleep. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL SLEEP.
I've done massive amounts of plums while pregnant with my 1st, but I don't recall forming a new asshole to digest them...it was 15 years ago, though.
When I was pregnant with LO I was eating up to two boxes of clementines a day. My intestines must have been very efficient.
Also, that's why her middle name is Clementine.
I had something different with each child. My fruit child was Joy, I swear I must have eaten my weight in pears that I ate with crystalized ginger.
If I ate anywhere near the amount of grapes ECH did, I'm fairly positive I would explode, grapes tear my stomach up and I end up eating tums and gas-x the rest of the day. :sad:
Quote from: Nigel on December 02, 2011, 06:56:28 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 06:24:05 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 02, 2011, 05:47:51 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
Eat grapes, have babby? :eek: Do not do!
Yes, massive quantities of anything is a no-no at this point. Except sleep. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL SLEEP.
I've done massive amounts of plums while pregnant with my 1st, but I don't recall forming a new asshole to digest them...it was 15 years ago, though.
When I was pregnant with LO I was eating up to two boxes of clementines a day. My intestines must have been very efficient.
Also, that's why her middle name is Clementine.
Aw, I like that story.
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 07:17:47 PM
Quote from: Nigel on December 02, 2011, 06:56:28 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 06:24:05 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on December 02, 2011, 05:47:51 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2011, 04:20:48 PM
So THAT's where you've been--you've been eating and shitting grapes!
I'd join in the fun, but it would probably go awry with my current condition.
Eat grapes, have babby? :eek: Do not do!
Yes, massive quantities of anything is a no-no at this point. Except sleep. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL SLEEP.
I've done massive amounts of plums while pregnant with my 1st, but I don't recall forming a new asshole to digest them...it was 15 years ago, though.
When I was pregnant with LO I was eating up to two boxes of clementines a day. My intestines must have been very efficient.
Also, that's why her middle name is Clementine.
Aw, I like that story.
:)
Eating Fruits is for Vegetarians, Invalids, and Fruit Flies. Eat some fucking meat people, fer chrissakes! The more obscure, the better. I've got a one and a half pound saddle of Hare in the fridge for tomorrow. Gonna roast it, and baste it in it's own juice, with garlic, and serve it with jersey new potatoes, Spinach, roast spuds, petit pois, and mint sauce.
Fucking grapes! Pffft!
U scared bro?
Of a few thousand little bitty grapes? Hardly! You're the one who got saddled with a vintner's load of the things. Tell, you what, you squash them all down, and make some half decent wine with them, (before they start getting all rank and rotten) and I'll cook you a game dinner. Maybe a bit of Muntjac, or Wallaby. (Both at plague proportions in certain parts of the English countryside) That's if you can drag your arse off the toilet from eating too much fruit. (Remember what happened to Cram)
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/ASSORTED/poogif.gif)
Quote from: BadBeast on December 03, 2011, 12:22:21 AM
Of a few thousand little bitty grapes? Hardly! You're the one who got saddled with a vintner's load of the things. Tell, you what, you squash them all down, and make some half decent wine with them, (before they start getting all rank and rotten) and I'll cook you a game dinner. Maybe a bit of Muntjac, or Wallaby. (Both at plague proportions in certain parts of the English countryside) That's if you can drag your arse off the toilet from eating too much fruit. (Remember what happened to Cram)
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/ASSORTED/poogif.gif)
Way ahead of ya, BadBeast. I have a few bottles of wine which had the grapes crushed by my own delicate toes. :p
Which reminds me, I should grab a bottle for the festivities tomorrow.
What's on tomorrow?
Quote from: BadBeast on December 03, 2011, 02:08:28 AM
What's on tomorrow?
SCA event with a
drinking brewing contest. I've got five cordials, a brandy, a mead, and an applejack to enter. (I'm just getting started, I may have overdone it.) I think Suu's entering her "Christmas in a Bottle" brandy to enter (which is yummy), and Richter has several things he could be entering. :D
Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2011, 02:20:22 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on December 03, 2011, 02:08:28 AM
What's on tomorrow?
SCA event with a drinking brewing contest. I've got five cordials, a brandy, a mead, and an applejack to enter. (I'm just getting started, I may have overdone it.) I think Suu's entering her "Christmas in a Bottle" brandy to enter (which is yummy), and Richter has several things he could be entering. :D
Woo woo, sounds like loads of fun. And Richter, sly old dog! Nice to have a choice.
Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2011, 02:20:22 AMand Richter has several things he could be entering. :D
:lmnuendo:
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 03, 2011, 10:55:41 AM
Quote from: Luna on December 03, 2011, 02:20:22 AMand Richter has several things he could be entering. :D
:lmnuendo:
Ohgoddamnit. :oops:
I'm looking forward to the contest... Which reminds me, I gotta find a notebook to take for suggestions. We keep a spit bucket handy, for those occasional brews which deserve it.
(I think we used it all of once, maybe twice last year... There was this stuff that tasted like moldy grass...) I'm just hoping none of my stuff winds up in there. It's a brewing contest, yes... but the judging has become more of the real competition... Mostly it's a "who can walk down the stairs without landing on their face" kind of thing.
I've never seen 10 people spit shit out at one time.
Anyways, Fergus and I are carb-loading, and only using those tiny shot glasses. I am NOT going to be incapacitated tomorrow like I was last year, damnit. Hence why bringing only the tiny bottle of brandy. (Seriously, it's brandy.)