Mephistophles appeared to Faust as a poodle, but otherwise the only thing poodles have going for them is that they can climb trees, which makes me suspect that they are not really dogs at all.
Note: Obtain poodles for research.
Someone once said that you can gain the attention of any large thing, from an elephant to a bureaucracy, if you can locate the part that feels pain.
Note 1: It would seem that this should be correct, but it would also seem that you'd better be prepared for the full attention of whatever it is you're dealing with.
Note 2: Hire a research assistant before the next trip to the department of motor vehicles.
I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.
Quote from: Nigel on March 07, 2012, 08:40:53 PM
I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.
It's just a place for me to store idle thoughts until I can get back to them.
As an aside, do you know anyone who has poodles?
Poodles can climb trees?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 08:43:00 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 07, 2012, 08:40:53 PM
I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.
It's just a place for me to store idle thoughts until I can get back to them.
As an aside, do you know anyone who has poodles?
Ludwig's weird German boyfriend has a poodle, I believe.
Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 07, 2012, 08:45:43 PM
Poodles can climb trees?
Well, if they CAN'T, then there's an even BIGGER mystery: Who the hell is putting them up there, and why?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 08:47:45 PM
Quote from: An Twidsteoir on March 07, 2012, 08:45:43 PM
Poodles can climb trees?
Well, if they CAN'T, then there's an even BIGGER mystery: Who the hell is putting them up there, and why?
:lol:
Given the difference in my body's ability to process intoxicants between 1996 and today, as evidenced by last week's slow recovery times, I need some full-body hoover underpants to suck the toxins out of my body.
I mean, Goretex will leech moisture right off of your skin, so there must be something that will drag alcohol, etc, right through your skin. Find that, make undies out of it.
Note: Test this on someone else first.
Interesting factoid: Ozzie & Harriet were NOT Ozzie Osbourne and Harriet Tubman.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 09:00:40 PM
Interesting factoid: Ozzie & Harriet were NOT Ozzie Osbourne and Harriet Tubman.
Oh, the mental image! :lulz:
If future generations discover time travel, or even transtemporal viewing systems, there's a good chance my descendants have seen everything I've ever done. Even the stuff I've done in private.
Note 1: This may explain why they never visit.
Note 2: Find ways to irrepairably damage the planet or the human gene pool, to teach those fucking peeping Toms a lesson.
Elton John started off dressing like Liberace's dress dummy, and now he dresses like a club hopper with a bowl haircut. In that time period, his music has gone from "Captain Fantastic" to "The Lion King" soundtrack. Is the change in clothing cause or effect?
Note 1: Consult with LMNO on this one.
Note 2: Look up the guy that used to arrange Elton John's clothing, and have him dress John Meyer. Watch for an increase in the quality of his music.
New lead paintchips marketing scheme, for the above-mentioned revenge on humanity's descendents:
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Meteorologists are ALWAYS wrong. 0% chance of rain, it's fucking raining.
Note: Ask a meteorologist who will win the next Superbowl, observe results.
No desk drawer or filing cabinet that has a built in lock ever has a key.
Hypothesis 1: They're made without keys, as a decorative thing.
Hypothesis 2: Someone always compulsively steals the keys as soon as the desk or cabinet is purchased.
Its compulsive theft- i was able and required to lock my drawers when i had a cubicle. I must confess it was hard to fight the compulsion to take them when i left the position.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 08:43:00 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 07, 2012, 08:40:53 PM
I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.
It's just a place for me to store idle thoughts until I can get back to them.
As an aside, do you know anyone who has poodles?
Putin has a poodle.
(http://i40.tinypic.com/34y2wc8.png)
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 09:07:37 PM
If future generations discover time travel, or even transtemporal viewing systems, there's a good chance my descendants have seen everything I've ever done. Even the stuff I've done in private.
Note 1: This may explain why they never visit.
Note 2: Find ways to irrepairably damage the planet or the human gene pool, to teach those fucking peeping Toms a lesson.
I've had this exact mental thought process soooooo many times while masturbating or farting and eating frozen yogurt out of the pint while watching those Haunting and Paranormal shows on A&E.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 09:00:40 PM
Interesting factoid: Ozzie & Harriet were NOT Ozzie Osbourne and Harriet Tubman.
Is Tubman the father of Tubgirl?(edit: yeah that was a retarded thing to say. I had NO idea who she was, being named next to Ozzie Osbourne, I figured yet another random celebrity--now I looked it up and feel kinda ashamed, sorry)
Quote from: Triple Zero on March 08, 2012, 11:39:47 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 07, 2012, 09:00:40 PM
Interesting factoid: Ozzie & Harriet were NOT Ozzie Osbourne and Harriet Tubman.
Is Tubman the father of Tubgirl?
Jesus. You just said that.
*looks it up*
Oh. I see. Sorry I had NO idea who she was :oops: (I figured some random celebrity or something) Yeah that was in bad taste then.
Quote from: Triple Zero on March 09, 2012, 12:05:02 AM
*looks it up*
Oh. I see. Sorry I had NO idea who she was :oops: (I figured some random celebrity or something) Yeah that was in bad taste then.
I thought you did it on purpose. I was amused.
That gives a whole new meaning to the term "Underground Railroad"...
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 09, 2012, 12:47:42 PM
That gives a whole new meaning to the term "Underground Railroad"...
Good thing I ate breakfast a while ago.
oh, holy shit!
I'm laughing so hard right now...
:lulz:
thats like something my wife would say whilst trying to fit both feet in her mouth...
Jim does not in fact like it when I call him "Big Poppa". I know I've mentioned this before, but it requires further study. Jim also drives a red Miata, but is NOT cheating on his wife with a girl half his age.
Interesting. Rolaids claims to absorb 20 times its own weight.
Experiment: Feed Filthy assistant 5 pounds of Rolaids. Observe result.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 08:14:53 PM
Interesting. Rolaids claims to absorb 20 times its own weight.
Experiment: Feed Filthy assistant 5 pounds of Rolaids. Observe result.
20 times its own weight in what? :horrormirth:
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 23, 2012, 08:16:13 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 08:14:53 PM
Interesting. Rolaids claims to absorb 20 times its own weight.
Experiment: Feed Filthy assistant 5 pounds of Rolaids. Observe result.
20 times its own weight in what? :horrormirth:
Acid, it says. But it doesn't absorb acid, it neutralizes it.
So what IS it absorbing? You tell me.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 08:21:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 23, 2012, 08:16:13 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 08:14:53 PM
Interesting. Rolaids claims to absorb 20 times its own weight.
Experiment: Feed Filthy assistant 5 pounds of Rolaids. Observe result.
20 times its own weight in what? :horrormirth:
Acid, it says. But it doesn't absorb acid, it neutralizes it.
So what IS it absorbing? You tell me.
Let's have Filthy Assistant tell you.
Also, I'm starting to notice a trend of illiteracy (that includes using words wrong) in advertising. :horrormirth:
A reflection of their audience.
Maybe. But it strikes me that your average joe was more literate back in the day than they are now. Ever read an old letters written by a soldier in the first half of the twentieth century? Hell even my great grandmother who taught herself was more literate than the average person nowadays (poor punctuation disregarded).
I guess i mean that its not so much a reflection of the audience so much as a reshaping of the audience. Its apparently preferred not to be smart. Or at least not to give too much credence to "book learnin'" why else would intellectual be an insult?
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:07:45 PM
Maybe. But it strikes me that your average joe was more literate back in the day than they are now. Ever read an old letters written by a soldier in the first half of the twentieth century? Hell even my great grandmother who taught herself was more literate than the average person nowadays (poor punctuation disregarded).
That's what I'm saying, a dumbed-down audience requires dumbed-down advertising.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 23, 2012, 09:21:03 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:07:45 PM
Maybe. But it strikes me that your average joe was more literate back in the day than they are now. Ever read an old letters written by a soldier in the first half of the twentieth century? Hell even my great grandmother who taught herself was more literate than the average person nowadays (poor punctuation disregarded).
That's what I'm saying, a dumbed-down audience requires dumbed-down advertising.
It's the other way around. Advertising dumbs down the audience.
Yes. Thats what i was trying to say. Its good for business if you try to keep the consumers dumb.
Example: In the late 80s, there was a commercial for some household product. The lady pitching it said something about the price vs the quantity and said, "that's value"...Which of course is an incorrect use of the word. The commercial was hugely successful, and now saying that something "is value" means "this thing has a value that is positive in some way".
Now multiply that commercial by thousands, and it's no wonder Filthy Assistant spells the word "barrel" as "Barrul".
Its the same reason why pop music is dumbed down love songs and why country music is now about taking pride in being a dumb patriotic redneck and more challenging stuff is underground. Its not just that theres more of a market for it. Its also that thats what they want you listening to.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:30:07 PM
Its the same reason why pop music is dumbed down love songs and why country music is now about taking pride in being a dumb patriotic redneck and more challenging stuff is underground. Its not just that theres more of a market for it. Its also that thats what they want you listening to.
Country music has been, since 1965, 49% dumbfuck jingoism, 49% pop, and 2% horrorfuck.
Before 1964, it was 98% pop, and 2% horrorfuck.
You still have to wade through 98% of the useless garbage to get shit like "The Lost Highway" and "Whiskey Girl".
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:07:45 PM
Maybe. But it strikes me that your average joe was more literate back in the day than they are now. Ever read an old letters written by a soldier in the first half of the twentieth century? Hell even my great grandmother who taught herself was more literate than the average person nowadays (poor punctuation disregarded).
Ever seen kids novels and textbooks from the 19th century? And those people thought a woman on the rag shouldn't bathe because she might bleed to death.
I don't think anybody on my block could get through
Beautiful Joe. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 09:36:33 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:30:07 PM
Its the same reason why pop music is dumbed down love songs and why country music is now about taking pride in being a dumb patriotic redneck and more challenging stuff is underground. Its not just that theres more of a market for it. Its also that thats what they want you listening to.
Country music has been, since 1965, 49% dumbfuck jingoism, 49% pop, and 2% horrorfuck.
Before 1964, it was 98% pop, and 2% horrorfuck.
You still have to wade through 98% of the useless garbage to get shit like "The Lost Highway" and "Whiskey Girl".
Nashville politics. :x
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 23, 2012, 09:36:57 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:07:45 PM
Maybe. But it strikes me that your average joe was more literate back in the day than they are now. Ever read an old letters written by a soldier in the first half of the twentieth century? Hell even my great grandmother who taught herself was more literate than the average person nowadays (poor punctuation disregarded).
Ever seen kids novels and textbooks from the 19th century? And those people thought a woman on the rag shouldn't bathe because she might bleed to death.
I don't think anybody on my block could get through Beautiful Joe. :horrormirth:
Fuck that, look at the
advertisements from that time period.
For example, a .38 pistol made for kids, aged 8-13.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 23, 2012, 09:38:27 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 09:36:33 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:30:07 PM
Its the same reason why pop music is dumbed down love songs and why country music is now about taking pride in being a dumb patriotic redneck and more challenging stuff is underground. Its not just that theres more of a market for it. Its also that thats what they want you listening to.
Country music has been, since 1965, 49% dumbfuck jingoism, 49% pop, and 2% horrorfuck.
Before 1964, it was 98% pop, and 2% horrorfuck.
You still have to wade through 98% of the useless garbage to get shit like "The Lost Highway" and "Whiskey Girl".
Nashville politics. :x
You could have stopped at "Nashville".
Nashville should be nuked, and the ashes ploughed with cadmium.
Seriously? Damn.
I guess my stats are a bit mixed up. I only recently started listening to country music ( a combination of liking johnny cash and irish folk will eventually lead you to experiment with other types of hick music.) villager used to be a country music girl before she got into rock and metal. She told me that countrys basically become a parody of itself. After seeing the video for "tater fed" i accepted that assessment.
i must investigate that when i get home...
Also if you watch that video you might notice that they show everyother vegetable you could possibly eat -except for potatoes- until the very end. Also he has to mention hell kick your ass if you give him a reason somewhere in the chorus.
so.... it's a country video espousing a violent vegetarian lifestyle? :?
No see... He was fed on taters (and apparently onions and peppers and carrots...) so that makes him tough.
Maybe its a southern thing but i believe ireland had six failed revolutions after the introduction of the tater. Considering southerners drink as much whiskey as the irish i must assume the beta carroteen is actually the contributing factor to toughness.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:47:36 PM
I guess my stats are a bit mixed up. I only recently started listening to country music ( a combination of liking johnny cash and irish folk will eventually lead you to experiment with other types of hick music.) villager used to be a country music girl before she got into rock and metal. She told me that countrys basically become a parody of itself. After seeing the video for "tater fed" i accepted that assessment.
Country has been fucked since long before I was born. Sturgeon was a fucking optimist.
hmm...
were the peppers shown of the pansy variety, or the chili variety? in TX, we put various chili peppers on our foods until they act as a nasal depilatory. that could also have an impact on our ability to kick the asses of our fanbases.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 10:00:25 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:47:36 PM
I guess my stats are a bit mixed up. I only recently started listening to country music ( a combination of liking johnny cash and irish folk will eventually lead you to experiment with other types of hick music.) villager used to be a country music girl before she got into rock and metal. She told me that countrys basically become a parody of itself. After seeing the video for "tater fed" i accepted that assessment.
Country has been fucked since long before I was born. Sturgeon was a fucking optimist.
It's the corporate influnces. You can still find the REAL SPIRIT OF COUNTRY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ywCSmbYOO8) in the honky tonks, occasionally. :lol:
Nah they were regular sweet peppers.
Dok- man. Well as i build my country music library ill consult with you. So far cash and williams sr.
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 10:07:52 PM
Nah they were regular sweet peppers.
Dok- man. Well as i build my country music library ill consult with you. So far cash and williams sr.
I have a list. I'll post it tonight or tomorrow.
Bear in mind that what I'm going to post isn't necessarily the best
sounding country music, and some of the titles may surprise you...But they're the best representation of what country music is trying to say (mostly it's the White version of Afroman's
Because I Got High).
Leon Payne, Twid. He's the guy who actually wrote Lost Highway, even though everybody thinks it was Hank.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 23, 2012, 10:12:10 PM
Leon Payne, Twid. He's the guy who actually wrote Lost Highway, even though everybody thinks it was Hank.
Hank always mentioned Leon Payne before he played that, except once, when he said "A new song I recorded". Apparently, he fell all over himself apologizing right afterward, much to Leon Payne's amusement.
Also, Porter Waggoner wrote almost all of Johnny Cash's good stuff.
Just saying.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 10:14:48 PM
Also, Porter Waggoner wrote almost all of Johnny Cash's good stuff.
Just saying.
I'd like to find a good bio on ol' Porter. He was
bleak. :lol:
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 23, 2012, 09:30:07 PM
Its the same reason why pop music is dumbed down love songs and why country music is now about taking pride in being a dumb patriotic redneck and more challenging stuff is underground. Its not just that theres more of a market for it. Its also that thats what they want you listening to.
Ah, yes. The Underground Music fallacy. I've got that bar in my cage as well.
All apples are fruits
All Oranges are fruits.
Fruits are round.
Just because you're eating a banana, doesn't necessarily mean they haven't got their claws in you too.
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Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2012, 10:14:05 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 23, 2012, 10:12:10 PM
Leon Payne, Twid. He's the guy who actually wrote Lost Highway, even though everybody thinks it was Hank.
Hank always mentioned Leon Payne before he played that, except once, when he said "A new song I recorded". Apparently, he fell all over himself apologizing right afterward, much to Leon Payne's amusement.
:lol: :lol: :lol: