So, I just grabbed a pack of post it notes from the office supply cabinet, and I noticed that the back of the pack has instructions.
"Write on pad. Peel the page off and stick it to desired surface."
I can't fucking stand it. They're doing this shit on purpose, just to FUCK WITH PEOPLE. They may as well just write "You share the planet with people too stupid to figure this concept out".
LISTEN, YOU BASTARDS! I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT I LIVE ON THE PLANET OF THE APES!
That is all.
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:43:05 PM
So, I just grabbed a pack of post it notes from the office supply cabinet, and I noticed that the back of the pack has instructions.
"Write on pad. Peel the page off and stick it to desired surface."
I can't fucking stand it. They're doing this shit on purpose, just to FUCK WITH PEOPLE. They may as well just write "You share the planet with people too stupid to figure this concept out".
LISTEN, YOU BASTARDS! I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT I LIVE ON THE PLANET OF THE APES!
That is all.
When my kids were on medicaid I used to get letters that said things like "When your doctor writes a prescription, ask how much medicine you are supposed to give and how often." Because everybody knows that people with kids on medicaid can't read a prescription lable. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 11, 2012, 05:48:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:43:05 PM
So, I just grabbed a pack of post it notes from the office supply cabinet, and I noticed that the back of the pack has instructions.
"Write on pad. Peel the page off and stick it to desired surface."
I can't fucking stand it. They're doing this shit on purpose, just to FUCK WITH PEOPLE. They may as well just write "You share the planet with people too stupid to figure this concept out".
LISTEN, YOU BASTARDS! I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT I LIVE ON THE PLANET OF THE APES!
That is all.
When my kids were on medicaid I used to get letters that said things like "When your doctor writes a prescription, ask how much medicine you are supposed to give and how often." Because everybody knows that people with kids on medicaid can't read a prescription lable. :horrormirth:
Was that on purpose? :lol:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:49:33 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 11, 2012, 05:48:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:43:05 PM
So, I just grabbed a pack of post it notes from the office supply cabinet, and I noticed that the back of the pack has instructions.
"Write on pad. Peel the page off and stick it to desired surface."
I can't fucking stand it. They're doing this shit on purpose, just to FUCK WITH PEOPLE. They may as well just write "You share the planet with people too stupid to figure this concept out".
LISTEN, YOU BASTARDS! I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT I LIVE ON THE PLANET OF THE APES!
That is all.
When my kids were on medicaid I used to get letters that said things like "When your doctor writes a prescription, ask how much medicine you are supposed to give and how often." Because everybody knows that people with kids on medicaid can't read a prescription lable. :horrormirth:
Was that on purpose? :lol:
Brain fart.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
So YOU'RE the guy!
Tell me how you change an automobile's fan belt.
I know someone that was using a stack of post its like a notebook and was always complaining that the sheets were tearing off.
When he was told it was supposed to do that he got this look on his face of such utter confusion that someone would want such a thing.
Quote from: Sita on April 11, 2012, 05:59:14 PM
I know someone that was using a stack of post its like a notebook and was always complaining that the sheets were tearing off.
When he was told it was supposed to do that he got this look on his face of such utter confusion that someone would want such a thing.
1. UNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
2. I need them to leave people nasty notes on their monitors when they go to lunch. Duh.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:58:52 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
So YOU'RE the guy!
Tell me how you change an automobile's fan belt.
You need a plumber's wrench and a box of cotton swabs.
Then, with the car running in neutral...
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 06:01:13 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:58:52 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
So YOU'RE the guy!
Tell me how you change an automobile's fan belt.
You need a plumber's wrench and a box of cotton swabs.
Then, with the car running in neutral...
CHECK THE PARKING BRAKE! SAFETY FIRST!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:59:58 PM
Quote from: Sita on April 11, 2012, 05:59:14 PM
I know someone that was using a stack of post its like a notebook and was always complaining that the sheets were tearing off.
When he was told it was supposed to do that he got this look on his face of such utter confusion that someone would want such a thing.
1. UNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
2. I need them to leave people nasty notes on their monitors when they go to lunch. Duh.
I feel a GASM coming on. :lol:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 06:01:13 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:58:52 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
So YOU'RE the guy!
Tell me how you change an automobile's fan belt.
You need a plumber's wrench and a box of cotton swabs.
Then, with the car running in neutral...
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 11, 2012, 06:02:33 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:59:58 PM
Quote from: Sita on April 11, 2012, 05:59:14 PM
I know someone that was using a stack of post its like a notebook and was always complaining that the sheets were tearing off.
When he was told it was supposed to do that he got this look on his face of such utter confusion that someone would want such a thing.
1. UNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
2. I need them to leave people nasty notes on their monitors when they go to lunch. Duh.
I feel a GASM coming on. :lol:
I've been doing this for about 4 years.
"Dear Mike: We voted. You're an asshole."
"Hey Boss: I backed into your Miata. Sorry. - Mike"
"Ernie: I need the EPA form 34FC25-001 TODAY" <--- form does not exist.
"Filthy Assistant: I just wanted to call you Filthy Assistant again."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Ernie should also get something about angels.
Apparently, Staples doesn't have the consideration for their customers and is just fine with people jamming them in their own ears or chucking the whole packet at squirrels to keep them off the birdfeeders. Think of the children!
I do like how the box of staples notes that they are "chisel point for easier penetration"
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on April 11, 2012, 06:31:52 PM
Apparently, Staples doesn't have the consideration for their customers and is just fine with people jamming them in their own ears or chucking the whole packet at squirrels to keep them off the birdfeeders. Think of the children!
I do like how the box of staples notes that they are "chisel point for easier penetration"
Dull staples kill.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 06:05:44 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 11, 2012, 06:02:33 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:59:58 PM
Quote from: Sita on April 11, 2012, 05:59:14 PM
I know someone that was using a stack of post its like a notebook and was always complaining that the sheets were tearing off.
When he was told it was supposed to do that he got this look on his face of such utter confusion that someone would want such a thing.
1. UNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
2. I need them to leave people nasty notes on their monitors when they go to lunch. Duh.
I feel a GASM coming on. :lol:
I've been doing this for about 4 years.
"Dear Mike: We voted. You're an asshole."
"Hey Boss: I backed into your Miata. Sorry. - Mike"
"Ernie: I need the EPA form 34FC25-001 TODAY" <--- form does not exist.
"Filthy Assistant: I just wanted to call you Filthy Assistant again."
:lulz:
I need a job not just as a regular source of income, but also as a regular source of shenanigans.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 06:05:44 PM
...
"Hey Boss: I backed into your Miata. Sorry. - Mike"
...
append "it's pretty small. you probably won't even notice the damage"
see how long the inspection process takes.
Oh! Oh! Try and disguise your handwriting, and then leave an anonymous, vague apology for something that will perplex them on their computer screen.
I got something kinda like that.
The cut gloves we have to wear at work for cleaning the slicers and cutting sandwiches all have a tag on them that say "Not to be used with moving or serrated blades." Slicer blades move and sandwich knives are serrated.
My manager keeps bitching because the gloves keep ending up with holes in them, all the time and he has to order new gloves. He keeps ordering the same kind of glove.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 11, 2012, 10:36:09 PM
I got something kinda like that.
The cut gloves we have to wear at work for cleaning the slicers and cutting sandwiches all have a tag on them that say "Not to be used with moving or serrated blades." Slicer blades move and sandwich knives are serrated.
My manager keeps bitching because the gloves keep ending up with holes in them, all the time and he has to order new gloves. He keeps ordering the same kind of glove.
Have you pointed this out to him?
Quote from: Guru Coyote on April 11, 2012, 11:03:45 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 11, 2012, 10:36:09 PM
I got something kinda like that.
The cut gloves we have to wear at work for cleaning the slicers and cutting sandwiches all have a tag on them that say "Not to be used with moving or serrated blades." Slicer blades move and sandwich knives are serrated.
My manager keeps bitching because the gloves keep ending up with holes in them, all the time and he has to order new gloves. He keeps ordering the same kind of glove.
Have you pointed this out to him?
Every month for two years.
ETA: Fixed placement of my reply.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 11, 2012, 11:09:03 PM
Quote from: Guru Coyote on April 11, 2012, 11:03:45 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 11, 2012, 10:36:09 PM
I got something kinda like that.
The cut gloves we have to wear at work for cleaning the slicers and cutting sandwiches all have a tag on them that say "Not to be used with moving or serrated blades." Slicer blades move and sandwich knives are serrated.
My manager keeps bitching because the gloves keep ending up with holes in them, all the time and he has to order new gloves. He keeps ordering the same kind of glove.
Every month for two years.
Have you pointed this out to him?
I worked a deli once. We had those cheapo disposable clear plastic gloves, kind of like what you get with a bottle of hair dye.
Because everybody knows keeping finger germs off of ancient, dessicated head cheese is more important than keeping employee's fingers imtactl:
Quote from: Sita on April 11, 2012, 05:59:14 PM
I know someone that was using a stack of post its like a notebook and was always complaining that the sheets were tearing off.
When he was told it was supposed to do that he got this look on his face of such utter confusion that someone would want such a thing.
AAHHHAHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Oh my god, the humanity!
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 10:07:06 PM
Oh! Oh! Try and disguise your handwriting, and then leave an anonymous, vague apology for something that will perplex them on their computer screen.
I used to do this, only with cards, gift baskets, and flowers, on people's doorsteps.
I stopped when the economy went to shit. It's kind of an expensive hobby. But you can make it work with a couple dollar's worth of chocolate and a note that just says "I'm so sorry".
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:58:52 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
So YOU'RE the guy!
Tell me how you change an automobile's fan belt.
Well, unless you're driving something from the NINETEEN-EIGHTIES (*snort*), you probably have a SERPENTINE BELT that runs everything (*snort-snarf*) and that's nearly IMPOSSIBLE without lifting out the ENTIRE ENGINE BLOCK.
Quote from: navkat on April 12, 2012, 03:06:46 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 11, 2012, 05:58:52 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 11, 2012, 05:58:01 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 11, 2012, 05:45:17 PM
:horrormirth:
Why would they even do that? Is there some other way to use them? Is it not obvious enough???
Oh. I usually peel off the back of the pack and stick the whole damn thing on my junk.
Now I know better!
So YOU'RE the guy!
Tell me how you change an automobile's fan belt.
Well, unless you're driving something from the NINETEEN-EIGHTIES (*snort*), you probably have a SERPENTINE BELT that runs everything (*snort-snarf*) and that's nearly IMPOSSIBLE without lifting out the ENTIRE ENGINE BLOCK.
Wait...you mean there are belts hiding in my engine?
On a related (post) note, the security guy stuck an official (letterhead) notice on my filing cabinet two years ago.
Task Procedure -
* Open drawer to file or retrieve paperwork.
I shit you not. I enjoy pointing it out to people.
There's also a safety instruction -
* Do not stand on lower drawer to reach a higher level.
It's about four feet high.
There's people that make a living off of these things.
I worked at a supermarket deli once. They put up signs for the stupid people not to amputate the other stupid peoples' fingers like "BE A HERO - DON'T FORGET TO ZERO!" i.e., set the space between the slicer blade and the machine flush so it doesn't stick up.
Like anybody's putting their fucking HAND there.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 20, 2012, 10:39:14 PM
I worked at a supermarket deli once. They put up signs for the stupid people not to amputate the other stupid peoples' fingers like "BE A HERO - DON'T FORGET TO ZERO!" i.e., set the space between the slicer blade and the machine flush so it doesn't stick up.
Like anybody's putting their fucking HAND there.
I suspect the reason that sign was there was because someone somewhere did just that, whether accidentally or out of DERP. To me that sounds like, "DON'T LEAVE THE KITCHEN KNIVES SITTING OUT ON THE FUCKING COUNTER"
Quote from: Guru Coyote on April 20, 2012, 10:53:34 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 20, 2012, 10:39:14 PM
I worked at a supermarket deli once. They put up signs for the stupid people not to amputate the other stupid peoples' fingers like "BE A HERO - DON'T FORGET TO ZERO!" i.e., set the space between the slicer blade and the machine flush so it doesn't stick up.
Like anybody's putting their fucking HAND there.
I suspect the reason that sign was there was because someone somewhere did just that, whether accidentally or out of DERP. To me that sounds like, "DON'T LEAVE THE KITCHEN KNIVES SITTING OUT ON THE FUCKING COUNTER"
My money's on DERP.
There were little pictures on the sides of the slicers, too. Hands with airborne amputated fingers. :lol:
Quote from: Guru Coyote on April 20, 2012, 10:53:34 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 20, 2012, 10:39:14 PM
I worked at a supermarket deli once. They put up signs for the stupid people not to amputate the other stupid peoples' fingers like "BE A HERO - DON'T FORGET TO ZERO!" i.e., set the space between the slicer blade and the machine flush so it doesn't stick up.
Like anybody's putting their fucking HAND there.
I suspect the reason that sign was there was because someone somewhere did just that, whether accidentally or out of DERP. To me that sounds like, "DON'T LEAVE THE KITCHEN KNIVES SITTING OUT ON THE FUCKING COUNTER"
Or, in our case, DON'T PUT THE KNIVES IN A FULL SINK OF SOAPY WATER AND WALK AWAY.
Quote from: Deepthroat Chopra on April 12, 2012, 04:56:35 AM
On a related (post) note, the security guy stuck an official (letterhead) notice on my filing cabinet two years ago.
Task Procedure -
* Open drawer to file or retrieve paperwork.
I shit you not. I enjoy pointing it out to people.
There's also a safety instruction -
* Do not stand on lower drawer to reach a higher level.
It's about four feet high.
There's people that make a living off of these things.
Are you sure he isn't one of us? I make the same kind of notes, especially the first one. Though I usually try to get them ever so slightly and subtly wrong.
And Dok, did you ever read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? There's a story in it very similar to yours. About a guy whose final straw before breaking down in maddening screaming sanity was finding there were instructions on a packet of toothpicks. He then built an inside-out house with padded walls on the outside, so he could put the world in an asylum. He also was the only guy who knew where the dolphins went ("so long, and thanks for all the fish!").
I had the same reaction the first time I noticed the warning on my vending machine coffee cup - ** CAUTION - CONTENTS MAY BE HOT **
The only thing that kept me sane was the thought of someone burning their hands when they picked it up to read the message.
We've made Darwin obsolete - it's survival of the weakest from here on in :argh!: