From this point forward, no inaccuracies or over-the-top comparisons or generalizations will be permitted in "humorous" or "funny" threads. All jokes must be vetted for accuracy before being posted, as a number of our users seem to be offended or compelled to make corrections on their own time.
Should an inaccuracy slip through the vetting process, anyone found laughing at the post instead of reporting it will be beaten.
That is all. You may now return to your Apple Talk.
It's about goddamn time. These inaccuracies are the bane of our existence. And our children's children.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 06:48:43 PM
It's about goddamn time. These inaccuracies are the bane of our existence. And our children's children.
My children's children have not yet been born.
Please report to ECH for an ass kicking.
"A priest and a nun and a rabbi went to the bar..."
:cn:
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 19, 2012, 06:52:16 PM
"A priest and a nun and a rabbi went to the bar..."
:cn:
:lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 06:50:58 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 06:48:43 PM
It's about goddamn time. These inaccuracies are the bane of our existence. And our children's children.
My children's children have not yet been born.
Please report to ECH for an ass kicking.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
oooooooooo
This is outrageous! :argh!:
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
Personally I can't see why we can't have both, btw. Jokes are good, but at least a few of the pedant remarks were interesting, too (like ECH's one about trawling).
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:23:44 PM
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
How many beers? What are their body weights? Did their blood/alcohol reach .08?
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 07:24:30 PM
Personally I can't see why we can't have both, btw. Jokes are good, but at least a few of the pedant remarks were interesting, too (like ECH's one about trawling).
I didn't write the book, mister, I just enforce it.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:23:44 PM
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
How many beers? What are their body weights? Did their blood/alcohol reach .08?
guy 1 drank 6.7 beers, guy 2 drank 8.9.
Guy 1 weighs 94 kilograms (207.234 pounds), guy 2 weighs 87.987 (193.978 pounds)
They both reached blood/alcohol levels of point zero eight one.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:23:44 PM
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
How many beers? What are their body weights? Did their blood/alcohol reach .08?
guy 1 drank 6.7 beers, guy 2 drank 8.9.
Guy 1 weighs 94 kilograms (207.234 pounds), guy 2 weighs 87.987 (193.978 pounds)
They both reached blood/alcohol levels of point zero eight one.
How sure are you on the 6.7/8.9 numbers? Did you do this by weight or volume?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:30:55 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:23:44 PM
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
How many beers? What are their body weights? Did their blood/alcohol reach .08?
guy 1 drank 6.7 beers, guy 2 drank 8.9.
Guy 1 weighs 94 kilograms (207.234 pounds), guy 2 weighs 87.987 (193.978 pounds)
They both reached blood/alcohol levels of point zero eight one.
How sure are you on the 6.7/8.9 number? Did you do this by weight or volume?
Both. I am a conscientious man when it comes to bar joke accuracy.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:31:38 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:30:55 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:23:44 PM
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
How many beers? What are their body weights? Did their blood/alcohol reach .08?
guy 1 drank 6.7 beers, guy 2 drank 8.9.
Guy 1 weighs 94 kilograms (207.234 pounds), guy 2 weighs 87.987 (193.978 pounds)
They both reached blood/alcohol levels of point zero eight one.
How sure are you on the 6.7/8.9 number? Did you do this by weight or volume?
Both. I am a conscientious man when it comes to bar joke accuracy.
Okay. I think we can assume it's okay to laugh at that one.
Everyone laugh now.
HA HA HA HA.
.. you know, this puts the BAR pretty high, for jokes?
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 07:34:05 PM
.. you know, this puts the BAR pretty high, for jokes?
Was that an attempt at unregulated humor?
:america:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yspHR4IxKiU
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:38:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yspHR4IxKiU
Nannywall.
Cain, can you vett the clip for accuracy?
Seems both accurate and precise to me. But I'm not yet certified to confirm that sort of thing.
It's an order to give everyone cavity searches.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:42:01 PM
It's an order to give everyone cavity searches.
Well. Can't argue with THAT.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 07:24:30 PM
Personally I can't see why we can't have both, btw. Jokes are good, but at least a few of the pedant remarks were interesting, too (like ECH's one about trawling).
:? That wasn't a joke thread, though.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 07:24:58 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on April 19, 2012, 07:23:44 PM
Okay. Accurate joke time:
Two men walk into a bar.
They order beers and get drunk.
How many beers? What are their body weights? Did their blood/alcohol reach .08?
guy 1 drank 6.7 beers, guy 2 drank 8.9.
Guy 1 weighs 94 kilograms (207.234 pounds), guy 2 weighs 87.987 (193.978 pounds)
They both reached blood/alcohol levels of point zero eight one.
God, I love that joke!
Quote from: Nigel on April 19, 2012, 10:07:15 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 07:24:30 PM
Personally I can't see why we can't have both, btw. Jokes are good, but at least a few of the pedant remarks were interesting, too (like ECH's one about trawling).
:? That wasn't a joke thread, though.
Oh, you're right :) But still. IMO the only thing stopping a joke thread from going on is not riffing and posting new jokes. Not the "serious" stuff in between.
Although RWHN's post was quite a downer.
(but in all fairness I didn't really enjoy the jokes about cutting either, from having seen such up close and they weren't attention-whoring, instead covering up their scars and wishing they could stop. well you said you have similar experiences, so I guess you know what it's like. still I can't really help being bothered by it, which is simply what I feel. btw to end on a positive note, those friends got over it in the end :) [at least concerning the cutting])
ANYWAY
it kind of made me wonder today, what if instead of linear threads we'd have branched threads? you know like Reddit has, for instance.
sometimes on Reddit people go on a pun-off, and it doesn't jack the thread, because it's just a single branch.
same for people being pedantic, or perhaps honestly having something interesting yet dry to tell, can post that in a joke thread, while the jokes continue in the main branch. depending on which discussion is more popular of course.
i know we talked about this before, there were some downsides, I forget which, but it was just a thought I had
Eh, wasn't trying to kill a thread. And what some people want to call "pedant" I would call, clarifying information, and information I think is important.
But, you know, everyone could've just ignored it and moved on instead of wasting time getting all passive aggressive about it.
I mean, it's happened to me plenty of times where I start a thread with a certain intend, and someone steers it somewhere else with a post. Maybe it's just me, but I don't get all bent out of shape over it. I just chalk it up to "it is what it is".
But yeah, sorry I ruined your thread. You're an admin Dok, just cut the fucking offending post out and move on.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 19, 2012, 10:50:10 PM
Eh, wasn't trying to kill a thread. And what some people want to call "pedant" I would call, clarifying information, and information I think is important.
But, you know, everyone could've just ignored it and moved on instead of wasting time getting all passive aggressive about it.
Whoa.
The irony meter just blew up.
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 19, 2012, 10:36:57 PM
(but in all fairness I didn't really enjoy the jokes about cutting either, from having seen such up close and they weren't attention-whoring, instead covering up their scars and wishing they could stop.
Well, the whole idea of the OP was to be utterly over the top. Suicide isn't a "funny" topic, and neither is cutting. In fact, they aren't a topic anyone talks about at all. Making a sick joke out of it sort of rips the taboo away from it.
I know, which is why I didn't say anything in that thread, but since we were meta-discussing it here, I figured I might as well mention it made me remember some bad times of good friends in a bad state.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 19, 2012, 11:14:14 PM
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 19, 2012, 10:50:10 PM
Eh, wasn't trying to kill a thread. And what some people want to call "pedant" I would call, clarifying information, and information I think is important.
But, you know, everyone could've just ignored it and moved on instead of wasting time getting all passive aggressive about it.
Whoa.
The irony meter just blew up.
:lulz:
ITT, we learn that Dok can hit softballs.
;)
Sorry man, just yanking your chain.
Look, I'm in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere America, I've been here for 5 goddamned days, I'm bored out of my skull.
Just havin a little fun.
I'm sorry I ruined your joke.
I can send you a nice bouquet if it will make you feel better.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 02:42:52 AM
Sorry man, just yanking your chain.
Look, I'm in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere America, I've been here for 5 goddamned days, I'm bored out of my skull.
Just havin a little fun.
I'm sorry I ruined your joke.
I can send you a nice bouquet if it will make you feel better.
That's okay, I'm a good sport.
For a given value of "good". I'm glad you're good with all this.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 02:42:52 AM
Sorry man, just yanking your chain.
Look, I'm in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere America, I've been here for 5 goddamned days, I'm bored out of my skull.
Just havin a little fun.
I'm sorry I ruined your joke.
I can send you a nice bouquet if it will make you feel better.
PM me your address and I'll get around to entertaining you utilizing the postal service.
Well, given that I'm on a military base, that probably won't be a good idea.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 20, 2012, 03:01:38 AM
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 02:42:52 AM
Sorry man, just yanking your chain.
Look, I'm in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere America, I've been here for 5 goddamned days, I'm bored out of my skull.
Just havin a little fun.
I'm sorry I ruined your joke.
I can send you a nice bouquet if it will make you feel better.
That's okay, I'm a good sport.
For a given value of "good". I'm glad you're good with all this.
So that's a no on the bouquet? That's disappointing, because there was this one that was just
precious.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 03:40:28 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 20, 2012, 03:01:38 AM
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 02:42:52 AM
Sorry man, just yanking your chain.
Look, I'm in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere America, I've been here for 5 goddamned days, I'm bored out of my skull.
Just havin a little fun.
I'm sorry I ruined your joke.
I can send you a nice bouquet if it will make you feel better.
That's okay, I'm a good sport.
For a given value of "good". I'm glad you're good with all this.
So that's a no on the bouquet? That's disappointing, because there was this one that was just precious.
Yeah, well, the wife is allergic.
But I'm glad you finally dispensed with the silly passive aggressive bullshit, RWHN. I mean, you weren't fooling anyone. You've been doing this shit since the last drug thread, when you got massively butthurt by people questioning your credentials. Funny thing is, it wasn't me that did that, and you've been sniping at me ever since.
I gotta say, I'm a little curious about that...So if you can take a moment to yank your tongue out of your governor's asshole, maybe you could explain it to me?
Pfft! I've moved on to Angus King. His mustache is absolutely dreamy!
Maybe you'd be more for an edible arrangement? Those are pretty sweet.
And I don't know what you're talking about. I only have love for you my man.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 04:07:27 AM
Pfft! I've moved on to Angus King. His mustache is absolutely dreamy!
Maybe you'd be more for an edible arrangement? Those are pretty sweet.
And I don't know what you're talking about. I only have love for you my man.
You could also always do Build a Bear. Where are they again? NH? VT?
Build a Bear is all over the place, usually in Malls. There's one in Faneull Hall in Boston too.
I think you are thinking about that other company, The Teddy Bear company, or something like that, and yeah, they are in VT. Burlington I think.
Quote from: Reverend What's-His-Name? on April 20, 2012, 04:15:13 AM
Build a Bear is all over the place, usually in Malls. There's one in Faneull Hall in Boston too.
I think you are thinking about that other company, The Teddy Bear company, or something like that, and yeah, they are in VT. Burlington I think.
That sounds about right.
So, hey. When Dok makes a joke it's ok to get pissy about it, but if RWHN makes a joke it is all "WTF IT'S A JOKE GUYS"
Coyote, bad little man