Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 03:48:39 AM

Title: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 03:48:39 AM
Richter is actually Charles Bronson with the serial number filed off.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:15:12 AM
Nigel doesn't actually have any skin.

That's why she needs yours.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Richter on April 28, 2012, 04:18:30 AM
Yul Brynner, Sinatra, and the Duke never died.  They were all subject to a totally immoral organ transplant scheme at death's door.  The result was Dok Howl.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Richter on April 28, 2012, 04:18:53 AM
Phox is smiling for a REASON.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on April 28, 2012, 04:19:23 AM
Hoopla closed 30,000 manufacturing plants and gave all the jobs to Mexico.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:20:10 AM
Murphy's Law wasn't invented by Murphy.  It was invented by his brother.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:20:47 AM
PD is like one of those cheap, touristy wild west stunt shows where fake cowboys shoot each other with blanks and fall off of
hotel roofs into heaps of hay, and get shot off of their horses and are dragged down the street with their foot caught in the
stirrup.

The only difference is that there's no one on the PA system to tell us when the show is over and we should all move along.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Richter on April 28, 2012, 04:22:13 AM
Kai gives H.R Giger nightmares.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:24:26 AM
US Military planed to create a "telecommunications shield" in the ionosphere, reported in 13-20 August 1961, Keesings Historisch Archief (K.H.A.). This shield would be created "in the ionosphere at 3,000 km height, by bringing into orbit 350,000 million copper needles, each 2-4 cm long (total weight 16 kg), forming a belt 10 km thick and 40 km wide, the needles spaced about 100 m apart."

This was designed to replace the ionosphere "because telecommunications are impaired by magnetic storms and solar flares". The US planned to add to the number of copper needles if the experiment proved to be successful. This plan was strongly opposed by the International Union of Astronomers.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on April 28, 2012, 04:28:48 AM
That's terrifying! :horrormirth:
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:29:45 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 28, 2012, 04:28:48 AM
That's terrifying! :horrormirth:

It's hard to explain how stupid the military used to be.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Richter on April 28, 2012, 04:31:17 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:29:45 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 28, 2012, 04:28:48 AM
That's terrifying! :horrormirth:

It's hard to explain how stupid the military used to be.

They funded an amazing amount of SCIENCE for the purposes of defense or espionage.  Howard Hughes and Bob Ballard were in on a lot of it.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on April 28, 2012, 04:33:32 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:29:45 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 28, 2012, 04:28:48 AM
That's terrifying! :horrormirth:

It's hard to explain how stupid the military used to be.

Needles circling earth in almost space.  It's hard to get stupider than that.

What was even the POINT of that?  I mean REALLY??
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:40:24 AM
In other news, I'm going to destroy all of your childhoods1...For SCIENCE!

(http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa417/DoktorHowl/bazooka_joe_comic_02.jpg)





1  May not apply to people born after the paleolithic era.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on April 28, 2012, 04:41:39 AM
 :lol:
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 28, 2012, 09:40:58 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:40:24 AM
In other news, I'm going to destroy all of your childhoods1...For SCIENCE!

(http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa417/DoktorHowl/bazooka_joe_comic_02.jpg)





1  May not apply to people born after the paleolithic era.

:horrormirth:

The sad thing is, it's not only funnier but probably makes more sense than whatever it originally said.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 29, 2012, 01:55:11 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 28, 2012, 09:40:58 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2012, 04:40:24 AM
In other news, I'm going to destroy all of your childhoods1...For SCIENCE!

(http://i1196.photobucket.com/albums/aa417/DoktorHowl/bazooka_joe_comic_02.jpg)





1  May not apply to people born after the paleolithic era.

:horrormirth:

The sad thing is, it's not only funnier but probably makes more sense than whatever it originally said.

Dogpeen.

I always wondered how that kids eye got put out.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 30, 2012, 06:05:13 PM
FACT:  I can yell "WAKE UP, YOU FOOLS!" in my sleep.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Phox on April 30, 2012, 06:36:30 PM
FACT: Coyote is actually the incarnation of an ancient fertility god. His massive phallus, mammary glands, and horns remain tactfully hidden.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 30, 2012, 08:46:04 PM
FACT: Dok Howl is the only person in the world required to have a hazard diamond tattooed on his body. His is also the only known hazard diamond to have a rating of 7 for Health Hazard.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 30, 2012, 08:53:31 PM
Quote from: Cainad on April 30, 2012, 08:46:04 PM
FACT: Dok Howl is the only person in the world required to have a hazard diamond tattooed on his body. His is also the only known hazard diamond to have a rating of 7 for Health Hazard.

Joke's on OSHA, though.

Nobody can see the tattoo because of hair, so I get to spread my lovin' anyway.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 02, 2012, 06:52:24 PM
FACT:  Nigel bungee jumps using concertina wire as a bungee.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on May 02, 2012, 07:52:28 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 02, 2012, 06:52:24 PM
FACT:  Nigel bungee jumps using concertina wire as a bungee.

FACT: She also sometimes uses the intestines of hipsters.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 02, 2012, 07:57:19 PM
FACT:  I am the most TOLERANT, KINDLY, CHARITABLE AND COMPASSIONATE motherfucker that ever lived so SHUT UP.  I call them as I see them and if they look like sacks of puke and smell like sacks of puke then sacks of puke they are, and I DO mean YOU.  But that doesn't mean I don't have endless compassion for you.  Fuckers.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 02, 2012, 08:22:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 02, 2012, 07:57:19 PM
FACT:  I am the most TOLERANT, KINDLY, CHARITABLE AND COMPASSIONATE motherfucker that ever lived so SHUT UP.  I call them as I see them and if they look like sacks of puke and smell like sacks of puke then sacks of puke they are, and I DO mean YOU.  But that doesn't mean I don't have endless compassion for you.  Fuckers.

Proof of the above: Just yesterday, I personally was doing like I do as if it was no big thing at all, and Dok didn't hit me with the orbital laser cannon. The restraint and reserve necessary for that is unparalleled.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 02, 2012, 08:54:32 PM
Quote from: Cainad on May 02, 2012, 08:22:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 02, 2012, 07:57:19 PM
FACT:  I am the most TOLERANT, KINDLY, CHARITABLE AND COMPASSIONATE motherfucker that ever lived so SHUT UP.  I call them as I see them and if they look like sacks of puke and smell like sacks of puke then sacks of puke they are, and I DO mean YOU.  But that doesn't mean I don't have endless compassion for you.  Fuckers.

Proof of the above: Just yesterday, I personally was doing like I do as if it was no big thing at all, and Dok didn't hit me with the orbital laser cannon. The restraint and reserve necessary for that is unparalleled.

That, or the main breaker tripped1.  One or the other.




1  Because, as we know, EVERYTHING DEFAULTS TO MAIN.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 03, 2012, 12:03:24 AM
SCRIPTURE!
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Phox on May 03, 2012, 02:55:06 AM
FACT: Cainad's facial hair has been featured in more episodes of America's Most Wanted than John Walsh.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2012, 05:48:34 PM
FACT:  Discordianism is an allergic reaction to the excesses of the 21st century.  Like most allergic reactions, it actually does more damage than the condition it's reacting to.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on May 03, 2012, 05:51:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2012, 05:48:34 PM
FACT:  Discordianism is an allergic reaction to the excesses of the 21st century.  Like most allergic reactions, it actually does more damage than the condition it's reacting to.

This has some actual truth in it. :lol:
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2012, 05:53:58 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on May 03, 2012, 05:51:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2012, 05:48:34 PM
FACT:  Discordianism is an allergic reaction to the excesses of the 21st century.  Like most allergic reactions, it actually does more damage than the condition it's reacting to.

This has some actual truth in it. :lol:

Of course it does.  It's SCIENCE.
Title: Re: More FACTS
Post by: Freeky on May 03, 2012, 06:10:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2012, 05:53:58 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on May 03, 2012, 05:51:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2012, 05:48:34 PM
FACT:  Discordianism is an allergic reaction to the excesses of the 21st century.  Like most allergic reactions, it actually does more damage than the condition it's reacting to.

This has some actual truth in it. :lol:

Of course it does.  It's SCIENCE.

SCIENCE!