It seems to me that, besides certain obvious mitigating circumstances, there is no compelling reason to use a public restroom for defecation. In the first place, the time of defecation is a holy and revered time, the sole refuge in our modern society for being undisturbed by intrusions; one of a very few situations in which it is considered not only permissible but expected for one to lock themselves into a room and avoid contact with the external world. For those of us whose lives are filled with a constant drumbeat of interruptions and questions and neediness from others, this sacred time may serve as the only time during the day when we can be free from the droning voices of other apes.
Secondly, because the act of defecation is generally considered "private," why would one wish to perform this art anywhere but in a completely enclosed space (with adequate ventilation)? There are very large gaps beneath the stalls of public restrooms, and usually sizable gaps even between the stall door an its frame. This tends to decrease privacy and increase airflow (which is another concern).
Verily, I say unto thee, If you poop in a public restroom, why? Do you HATE the sacred bond between a person and their Number Two time?
I dunno about you but I own a colon, not a stopwatch. You gotta do what you gotta do when you gotta do it. Especially when an irregular work schedule induces irregular bowel movements.
I myself used to be shit break. Back when i was younger and had to worry not to much about my paycheck id just flat out take the t home. I would avoid pooping at other peoples houses. Mainly because my throne was my own not to be shared with others. And then there is the whole factor of sitting down on porcelain that has been preheated by someone else. It gives you an icky feeling. I still have this tendency to a degree but i have largely gotten over it. I would not have pooped at richters place for example excepting for the fact that that day it was copious and explosive.
I'll poop anywhere.
I mean, ANYWHERE.
Of course, I also don't have any compelling reason not to tell people to fuck off when I want to be left alone, so I don't need the guaranteed feces-induced private time.
Because sometimes, you gotta POOP. And taking a shit FEELS GOOD so why would you keep it in and wait until you get home??
Plus, it really kinda depends on where you are. Some office buildings have one or two single-person rooms per floor, with the "occupied" signifying lock facing the hallway. So you just pick the quietest floor and bring a fucking magazine. If you work in IT or some other place with a skewed male/female ratio, use the ladies room for extra likely not being disturbed (in my experience, in office buildings, level of hygiene is similar, they don't tend to do acrobatics and squirt all over the place like they do in nightclubs and bars). Then there's of course the king-size SPACEOUS wheelchair-enabled throne rooms, can highly recommend, just don't pull any weird out-of-place handles or touch "emergency" labeled buttons. Another advantage, sometimes taps in handicapped restrooms have these really long handles you can operate with your elbow and also the doorknobs are placed differently, so you can actually wash your hands without immediately having to touch something that smears all the germs right back on!
As far as sound, I don't care. My bladder is more shy than my colon, apparently.
And I'm not sure what's the problem with airflow? The smell of the guy before you doesn't last longer than 30 secs, does it? (assuming he flushed) And surely you're not bothered by your own poop smell, besides you got these crazy ass-cheek splashing deep sea plunger soup bowls over there, so there's about a 10th of a second poop-air contact, max, and then you flush. So, what about the airflow?
All I see is you (OP) are indeed making a good point that, if you want to take a good shit, preferably don't do it in a dirty public toilet. I can imagine that. But any public toilet? If it's a place you find yourself regularly, and it's got dirty public toilets, then THAT is the problem, and if you are trying to convince me to suck it up and take my shit home, instead of raising a shitstorm about the necessity of clean fucking toilets, then YOU sir, are the one not taking the holiness of poopytiem serious enough.
The bathrooms where I work are infested with whistlers. There is no reason to whistle in a public restroom unless you are dying from something slow and painful, and you believe that if you commit suicide, you won't go to the good place.
Maybe I am just a bathroom snob or something. But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom. And it isn't so much that I feel somehow unable to poomp in a public toilet, like some kind of scatological performance anxiety or something, but the feeling of a missed opportunity to barricade myself for 3 hours in my home-based fortress of solitude under the pretense of defecation.
Also it is frowned upon here to post a sign on the exterior door to a stall displaying the level of poomp that is taking place within (DEF-CON 5, DEF-CON 3, etc.).
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:04:09 PM
But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.
You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:
(http://i.imgur.com/1NfJp.jpg)
Poomp you hang on to dehydrates. And since it's not exposed to air, you have to assume the shit-moisture is REABSORBED somehow.
I have to smell other peoples shit when I go to a public restroom to pee or just fix my makeup.
IT'S THEIR FUCKING TURN.
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
No, it is, in fact, a PRIVILEGE that you are ALLOWED to poop in a public place. IT's so you can show off your artistry to all who come after you, without seeming like a freak for inviting people into your home and say "LOOK HOW I FUCKIN' WRECKED THIS POT!"*. Why would you want to AVOID it? That's like saying "I don't want to vote" or "I don't want to send threatening letters to foreign dignitaries". What the fuck is wrong with you!?
*= Not applicable if you are a Holy ManTM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 18, 2012, 09:23:14 PM
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:25:44 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 18, 2012, 09:23:14 PM
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.
...i have no response to that....
:lol:
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:25:44 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 18, 2012, 09:23:14 PM
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.
:lulz:
I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?
Quote from: Emo Howard on June 18, 2012, 08:47:23 PM
The bathrooms where I work are infested with whistlers. There is no reason to whistle in a public restroom unless you are dying from something slow and painful, and you believe that if you commit suicide, you won't go to the good place.
There might actually not be anything in the entire world that pisses me off more than people who whistle. Thank fuck it's outlawed on this ship (and most ships). I suspect it's subconsciously why I took the job in the first place.
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:31:09 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:25:44 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 18, 2012, 09:23:14 PM
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.
:lulz:
I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?
I do not have the experience of poop being an especially hard thing to contain, usually. If it is like an unstoppable stampede of brown cows for you, maybe your colon is more powerful than mine.
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:41:45 PM
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:31:09 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:25:44 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 18, 2012, 09:23:14 PM
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.
:lulz:
I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?
I do not have the experience of poop being an especially hard thing to contain, usually. If it is like an unstoppable stampede of brown cows for you, maybe your colon is more powerful than mine.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...let's not turn this into a large intestine measuring contest.
I'm just saying I'd rather have that light on my feet feeling rather than the repeatedly putting my sphincters in reverse experience.
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 10:17:28 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:41:45 PM
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:31:09 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:25:44 PM
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on June 18, 2012, 09:23:14 PM
i generally feel no need until i get home.
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.
This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.
:lulz:
I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?
I do not have the experience of poop being an especially hard thing to contain, usually. If it is like an unstoppable stampede of brown cows for you, maybe your colon is more powerful than mine.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...let's not turn this into a large intestine measuring contest.
I'm just saying I'd rather have that light on my feet feeling rather than the repeatedly putting my sphincters in reverse experience.
Being an American, I guess it's more that I see it as having an army of turd warriors standing by to repel any random invading penises. You know, with the Gay Agenda out there and all. Seriously though, it's unwise to ever allow your bowels to be
completely vacant, on the off chance that something scares you and you need to shit yourself.
What if the only thing that scares you is the possibility of shitting yourself?
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 18, 2012, 09:22:37 PMPoomp you hang on to dehydrates. And since it's not exposed to air, you have to assume the shit-moisture is REABSORBED somehow.
Hmmm, interesting...
"A sufficient increase in fecal material in the rectum causes stretch receptors from the nervous system located in the rectal walls to trigger the contraction of rectal muscles, relaxation of the internal anal sphincter and an initial contraction of the skeletal muscle of the external sphincter. The relaxation of the internal anal sphincter causes a signal to be sent to the brain indicating an urge to defecate.
If this urge is not acted upon, the material in the rectum is often returned to the colon by reverse peristalsis where more water is absorbed, thus temporarily reducing pressure and stretching within the rectum. "
So it's just water, being absorbed by the colon, just like it does with partially digested food (which is often more foul than actual finished poop, IMO). But it's not "shit moisture" (you seemed to imply this would be dirty water), as the body is pretty good in absorbing just the water and none of the poopy molecules, unless you think there are some homeopathic traces of "poop vibration" imprinted on the water molecules ;-)
The reason why I looked it up is because I wanted to know if the dehydration was entirely due to absorption, or also done via "passing gas", which is in a way "exposure to air", in some sense. Just like how dehydrates a little bit from the water vapour in breathing out. I was surprised to learn that farts, in fact, do not contain any water vapour. So indeed, all of the dehydration is done by the colon.
So, what you're saying is, for people who, like me, live in the desert, postponing a bowel movement may not only be the Righteous choice, but may even save their lives by delaying fatal dehydration through the reabsorption of poop water.
Clearly, since I live in Arizona and this state prides itself on sticking its nose into citizens' business, I should run for State Senate on a platform of abolishing public toilets for general health reasons.
That, and because, assuming one has the necessary equipment, abortions could be carried out in public restrooms. And probably have been, to one degree or another.
Yes. Although you should consult with Roger on Arizonal faecal matter regulations, him being the major supplier.
V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings. The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar. They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.
"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"
Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there. Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding. Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months. Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on June 19, 2012, 03:56:50 AM
V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings. The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar. They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.
"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"
Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there. Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding. Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months. Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.
Richter is a fucking GOD.
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 18, 2012, 09:38:01 PM
Quote from: Emo Howard on June 18, 2012, 08:47:23 PM
The bathrooms where I work are infested with whistlers. There is no reason to whistle in a public restroom unless you are dying from something slow and painful, and you believe that if you commit suicide, you won't go to the good place.
There might actually not be anything in the entire world that pisses me off more than people who whistle. Thank fuck it's outlawed on this ship (and most ships). I suspect it's subconsciously why I took the job in the first place.
I know, right?
It's somewhat less terrible if they are whistling an actual song (still not acceptable, though), but some of them just seem to whistle random notes. WTF is that shit?
I suspect a whistler may have given me some kind of seizure or something last week. My job is stressful, and requires concentration. He whistles, and removes screws.
After about 9 hours of that, I suddenly started loosing my peripheral vision, especially on my right side. It was like I was in a fog or something.
Do what we do anytime someone has an odious habit that pisses everyone off.
Tell them it violates a centuries-old superstition and threaten to keel-haul them if they persist.
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:20:37 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:04:09 PM
But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.
You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:
(http://i.imgur.com/1NfJp.jpg)
That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.
Somehow, being in an ambulance with a GI bleed patient who suddenly announces imminent "code brown" takes all the shyness out of poomping at the station house.
Maybe just me, though.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on June 19, 2012, 03:56:50 AM
V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings. The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar. They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.
"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"
Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there. Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding. Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months. Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.
Richter always makes my day. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 19, 2012, 01:58:33 PM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on June 19, 2012, 03:56:50 AM
V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings. The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar. They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.
"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"
Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there. Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding. Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months. Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.
Richter always makes my day. :lulz:
I could not have been the only one waiting for that.
But then, I know, to the detriment of my remaining sanity, what Richter can do to a toilet. The day he and Suu holed up at my place for the hurricane. There was ghost chili vindaloo.
The horror...
Quote from: navkat on June 19, 2012, 01:54:28 PM
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:20:37 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:04:09 PM
But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.
You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:
(http://i.imgur.com/1NfJp.jpg)
That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.
I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".
I can appreciate public toilets, especially the high flow/ suck you're shoe down if you aren't careful.
Sometimes, I can't be hASSled to shit at regular intervals. So many of my movements end up being larger than expected. If I take those big shits at home or friends' houses, I get ridiculed. "who just shit a cat?" Or "that's bigger than any dick I've ever seen!"
By shitting in public restrooms, I get the peace I want DESERVE AS A TAX-PAYING, GOD-FEARING 'MERICAN, and just have to deal with less standard cleanliness.
I've always been uncomfortable dumping in less than private circumstances. But I have done it when necessary.
On a side note, there is a wonderful discussion about a related topic in Günter Grass book, The Flounder. He questions why we will sit around our table and discuss the food we put in ourselves, but never get together at the other end (so to speak) and discuss the same items on the way out.
Had an all day Hazmat/HAZWOPER class.
They mentioned NOTHING about my ass. I feel ripped off, insufficiently trained.
Scratch that. They talked about BLEVE, which is close enough.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 19, 2012, 11:54:23 PM
Scratch that. They talked about BLEVE, which is close enough.
What is HAZWOPER/BLEVE?
I am praying like a motherfucker that it has nothing to do with Bieber.
Boiling Liquid Expanding Vapor Explosion.
Or
Boiling Liquid Expanding Vindaloo Explosion. In my pance.
:lulz:
KA BOOM :lulz:
Roger's bathroom is located in an underground shelter connected to the secret tunnels of the Moscow Metro. It's hermetically sealed behind multiple blast doors, and there's a fume hood near the toilet.
The fume hood is for when the toilet clogs. It's so highly rated as protective gear that the US military is considering covering their tanks in them.
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 19, 2012, 12:07:09 PM
Do what we do anytime someone has an odious habit that pisses everyone off.
Tell them it violates a centuries-old superstition and threaten to keel-haul them if they persist.
:lulz:
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 19, 2012, 04:05:48 PM
Quote from: navkat on June 19, 2012, 01:54:28 PM
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:20:37 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:04:09 PM
But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.
You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:
(http://i.imgur.com/1NfJp.jpg)
That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.
I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".
Okay, srsly, what is wrong with that guy's balls???? It's freaking me out.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 20, 2012, 05:40:39 AM
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 19, 2012, 04:05:48 PM
Quote from: navkat on June 19, 2012, 01:54:28 PM
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:20:37 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:04:09 PM
But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.
You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:
(http://i.imgur.com/1NfJp.jpg)
That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.
I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".
Okay, srsly, what is wrong with that guy's balls???? It's freaking me out.
That's the inner legs of his loose-fitting, athletic
shorts, which allow for freedom of movement, circulation of air and wicking of moisture.
His balls are smushed up in a tight, sweaty jock somewhere lest they escape. :lol:
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 20, 2012, 06:14:28 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 20, 2012, 05:40:39 AM
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 19, 2012, 04:05:48 PM
Quote from: navkat on June 19, 2012, 01:54:28 PM
Quote from: Net on June 18, 2012, 09:20:37 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 18, 2012, 09:04:09 PM
But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.
You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:
(http://i.imgur.com/1NfJp.jpg)
That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.
I believe that is what our fine upstanding members of congress refer to as "taking a wide stance".
Okay, srsly, what is wrong with that guy's balls???? It's freaking me out.
That's the inner legs of his loose-fitting, athletic shorts, which allow for freedom of movement, circulation of air and wicking of moisture.
His balls are smushed up in a tight, sweaty jock somewhere lest they escape. :lol:
For which I, for one, am grateful.
Random glimpses of some guy's balls when I wasn't looking to SEE said balls? Met my quota last month, thanks.
Having spent a lot of my youth pooping in the woods, I have never felt bad about pooping in a public restroom. I mean, once you're crouched behind a tree with grass and weeds tickling your nether regions, a bathroom stall isn't all that challenging. I always hated pooping while fishing though, especially if I'd recently taken a fish off the hook. Wiping your ass with hands that smell like bass is just weird.
I enjoy defecation in any restroom. More so not at home, because if it is messy, then I don't have to clean it up. Thus the pleasure of public restrooms.
Not that I am messy. I am a dainty being.
I will poomp whenever and wherever there is a toilet I can use when I need to go. I will only hold it in if there is no loo roll. Last night at D&D I ate an entire sharing sized bag of carrot sticks with hummus. Near the end, I felt the Urge, alas I had to wait OVER AN HOUR to get to the bus stop, get the bus, get home... the sweet relief of poomping Pure Fibre was a Thing Of Beauty.
I used to have serious problems with my digestion and bowels. I hate the feeling of holding it in, or the fear of sharting.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 19, 2012, 11:53:52 PM
Had an all day Hazmat/HAZWOPER class.
They mentioned NOTHING about my ass. I feel ripped off, insufficiently trained.
The irony being you'll start shitting yourself on the interstate the next time you spot a tanker hauling something nasty at 80 mph.
Quote from: navkat on July 04, 2012, 07:15:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 19, 2012, 11:53:52 PM
Had an all day Hazmat/HAZWOPER class.
They mentioned NOTHING about my ass. I feel ripped off, insufficiently trained.
The irony being you'll start shitting yourself on the interstate the next time you spot a tanker hauling something nasty at 80 mph.
Naw. I've been doing this shit for a while now.
I also won't poop in public. I can barely pee in public restrooms, but I've finally lost my shyness about tinkling. Public pooping is still out of the question. Besides, I only do it twice a day, might as well enjoy it in the comfort of my own private bathroom.
Also? I will not vomit in public restrooms. I would rather vomit in public than in a public restroom. I refuse, utterly and completely, to put my face somewhere other people put their asses. No.
Quote from: CarvedWood on July 05, 2012, 05:00:24 AM
I also won't poop in public. I can barely pee in public restrooms, but I've finally lost my shyness about tinkling. Public pooping is still out of the question. Besides, I only do it twice a day, might as well enjoy it in the comfort of my own private bathroom.
Having seen the horror of public restrooms, such as shit-smeared seats, bloody pads stuck on walls, piss and/or vomit
everywhere and people filling the toilet with those brown paper towels and shitting on top of them SO THAT THE SHIT IS STICKING UP OVER THE SEAT, are you sure that you owe the public any courtesies? :lol:
QuoteAlso? I will not vomit in public restrooms. I would rather vomit in public than in a public restroom. I refuse, utterly and completely, to put my face somewhere other people put their asses. No.
That one makes sense.
Nope, nothing to do with public courtesy. The public can go to hell. I just happen to agree with the OP, that poop time is me time.
Speaking of the atrocities people commit in public restrooms...
I kinda understand shit smeared seats. Some people can't control their wiping action, and since they wipe front to back, the shit gets smeared. Which makes me wonder about the hygiene of their asscracks, but then I shudder and try to forget that I had that thought. Anyway. I heard a comedian once ranting about people who wipe back to front, something about not dragging the dirty into the clean. And I don't get that. Do other people's mothers not teach them about wipe control? Wiping what's dirty, and not smearing it around? What the hell is so hard about not smearing your shit everywhere!? And you know what? I bet a lot of the shit-smearers are also people who protest that they never came from no monkey! And they might be right, too, because monkeys at least have the courtesy to THROW the shit instead of smearing it up their asscracks and around the toilet seat!!!!!!!
I also understand the piss on the toilet seat. It's those fucking hoverers! You know, the people who refuse to sit on the toilet because other people piss on it, so they just hover over the toilet, guaranteeing that they're pissing on it instead of in it! OMFG, just put some toilet paper down on the seat and SIT!
And those people who leave the shit mountains? I figure they live alone (and no wonder). People who live with other people have an outlet for their shit-pride, they have someone they can call into the bathroom before they flush to admire the magnificence of their shit. These other people have no one. I feel sorry for them.
It's those pads on the walls! OMFG, seriously!? What the hell is wrong with these people?! There's no understanding that!
No, nope, nuh-uh. I'm responsible for the cleanliness of my own toilet, therefore I know it can be trusted. I know how to wipe, I know how to sit, I don't have any particular issues involving the grandeur of my shit, and I know how to roll, wrap, and toss. So, as I said, the public can all go to hell.
It seems like every ship or barracks in the Navy has a "Ghost shitter." At one point, I thought this was a phenomena limited to good ol' BEQ 533 but I soon learned I was mistaken.
Basically, someone, usually on the male decks, finds a way to deposit his "leavings" in common areas on the floor...much to the chagrin of that day's duty section leader and whoever was assigned to clean that particular area at sweepers.
Shit and piss and blood don't really bother me though. Vom does.
Unconsidered hypothesis: the "ghost shitter" is, in fact, a ghost. A vengeful spirit, killed while suffering from unrelieved constipation, now taking his revenge from beyond the grave.
Sounds legit.
I demand the US government give me a semi-secret, multibillion dollar task-force to investigate this hypothesis, the threat phantom shitters may present to the US military's effectiveness and means to combat it.
Quote from: Cain on July 05, 2012, 01:17:28 PM
I demand the US government give me a semi-secret, multibillion dollar task-force to investigate this hypothesis, the threat phantom shitters may present to the US military's effectiveness and means to combat it.
Unconsidered hypothesis: It's part of the campaign of those soul stealing extraterrestrial biblical demons, except this is a rogue unit whose mission statement got corrupted in interdimensional transmission, and now we gotta deal with sailor stooling extraterrestrial biblical demons.
So long as I can refer to my unit as the "Poopdeck Elite", I will consider all alternative theories.
Quote from: Cain on July 05, 2012, 01:35:13 PM
So long as I can refer to my unit as the "Poopdeck Elite", I will consider all alternative theories.
Hahahahahaha.
As for my pooping activities; I can and will poop on any available toilet. Anytime. If it is a public restroom, I always hope it will be an especially smelly and loud poop.
I used to be pretty shy about pooping in public restrooms, and I still do a bit while traveling.
Then Pennsic happened. 2 weeks of portajohns (they clean them twice a day). You learn to be less squeamish pretty fucking fast.