Serious talk about your ass.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

i generally feel no need until i get home. 
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.

This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.

I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?

I do not have the experience of poop being an especially hard thing to contain, usually. If it is like an unstoppable stampede of brown cows for you, maybe your colon is more powerful than mine.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

i generally feel no need until i get home. 
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.

This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.

I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?

I do not have the experience of poop being an especially hard thing to contain, usually. If it is like an unstoppable stampede of brown cows for you, maybe your colon is more powerful than mine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...let's not turn this into a large intestine measuring contest.

I'm just saying I'd rather have that light on my feet feeling rather than the repeatedly putting my sphincters in reverse experience.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

i generally feel no need until i get home. 
then it's stop number one. hug the kiddos on the way to the shitter.
i go camping for the weekend, and i don't crap for three days.
it's my super power, i guess.

This. We should start a "no communal pooping" club.

I can do that too, but why? Who wants to spend precious minutes of your day working turds back up your colon when you could just set them free?

I do not have the experience of poop being an especially hard thing to contain, usually. If it is like an unstoppable stampede of brown cows for you, maybe your colon is more powerful than mine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...let's not turn this into a large intestine measuring contest.

I'm just saying I'd rather have that light on my feet feeling rather than the repeatedly putting my sphincters in reverse experience.

Being an American, I guess it's more that I see it as having an army of turd warriors standing by to repel any random invading penises. You know, with the Gay Agenda out there and all. Seriously though, it's unwise to ever allow your bowels to be completely vacant, on the off chance that something scares you and you need to shit yourself.

[East Coast Hustle]

What if the only thing that scares you is the possibility of shitting yourself?

[Triple Zero]

Poomp you hang on to dehydrates. And since it's not exposed to air, you have to assume the shit-moisture is REABSORBED somehow.

Hmmm, interesting...

"A sufficient increase in fecal material in the rectum causes stretch receptors from the nervous system located in the rectal walls to trigger the contraction of rectal muscles, relaxation of the internal anal sphincter and an initial contraction of the skeletal muscle of the external sphincter. The relaxation of the internal anal sphincter causes a signal to be sent to the brain indicating an urge to defecate.

If this urge is not acted upon, the material in the rectum is often returned to the colon by reverse peristalsis where more water is absorbed, thus temporarily reducing pressure and stretching within the rectum. "

So it's just water, being absorbed by the colon, just like it does with partially digested food (which is often more foul than actual finished poop, IMO). But it's not "shit moisture" (you seemed to imply this would be dirty water), as the body is pretty good in absorbing just the water and none of the poopy molecules, unless you think there are some homeopathic traces of "poop vibration" imprinted on the water molecules

The reason why I looked it up is because I wanted to know if the dehydration was entirely due to absorption, or also done via "passing gas", which is in a way "exposure to air", in some sense. Just like how dehydrates a little bit from the water vapour in breathing out. I was surprised to learn that farts, in fact, do not contain any water vapour. So indeed, all of the dehydration is done by the colon.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

So, what you're saying is, for people who, like me, live in the desert, postponing a bowel movement may not only be the Righteous choice, but may even save their lives by delaying fatal dehydration through the reabsorption of poop water.

Clearly, since I live in Arizona and this state prides itself on sticking its nose into citizens' business, I should run for State Senate on a platform of abolishing public toilets for general health reasons.

That, and because, assuming one has the necessary equipment, abortions could be carried out in public restrooms. And probably have been, to one degree or another.

[Triple Zero]

Yes. Although you should consult with Roger on Arizonal faecal matter regulations, him being the major supplier.

[Richter]

V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings.  The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar.  They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.

"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"

Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there.  Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding.  Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months.  Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings.  The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar.  They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.

"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"

Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there.  Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding.  Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months.  Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.

Richter is a fucking GOD.

[Bruno]

The bathrooms where I work are infested with whistlers. There is no reason to whistle in a public restroom unless you are dying from something slow and painful, and you believe that if you commit suicide, you won't go to the good place.

There might actually not be anything in the entire world that pisses me off more than people who whistle. Thank fuck it's outlawed on this ship (and most ships). I suspect it's subconsciously why I took the job in the first place.

I know, right?

It's somewhat less terrible if they are whistling an actual song (still not acceptable, though), but some of them just seem to whistle random notes. WTF is that shit?

I suspect a whistler may have given me some kind of seizure or something last week. My job is stressful, and requires concentration. He whistles, and removes screws.

After about 9 hours of that,  I suddenly started loosing my peripheral vision, especially on my right side. It was like I was in a fog or something.

[East Coast Hustle]

Do what we do anytime someone has an odious habit that pisses everyone off.

Tell them it violates a centuries-old superstition and threaten to keel-haul them if they persist.

[navkat]

But I just can't feel at home in a public restroom.

You've got to sit on the toilet like you OWN it:

That is some serious, motherfucking horse-stance right thar.

[navkat]

Somehow, being in an ambulance with a GI bleed patient who suddenly announces imminent "code brown" takes all the shyness out of poomping at the station house.

Maybe just me, though.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings.  The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar.  They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.

"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"

Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there.  Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding.  Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months.  Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.

Richter always makes my day. 

[Luna]

V3x, the point you brought up are exactly WHY I shit in public settings.  The look on some ghetto asshole's face as I rise enraged from the pot, untroused and full of righteous fury, sending him scampering and ashamed back to the merciless stares of the rest of the bar.  They know what the little fucker is made of now, and he's little better than ground something for the next order of "sliders" the college kids in the corner order.
The chance to howl at my managers, the cleaning staff and the priests they've called in.

"Can I not even have a good hard shit in peace anymore?"

Imagine T. Roosevelt walking up to the podium, kicking it off the stage, undoing his fly, and having a whiz there.  Defiant and unabashed in the face of robber barons and the young impressionable WG Harding.  Berrating the bastards for what they were, as McKinely's widow laughed like a banshee for the first time in months.  Sometimes a thing is worth doing solely for the doing, and having done so one can only move forward feeling well and amused about what we have done.

Richter always makes my day. 

I could not have been the only one waiting for that.

But then, I know, to the detriment of my remaining sanity, what Richter can do to a toilet.  The day he and Suu holed up at my place for the hurricane.  There was ghost chili vindaloo.

The horror...